should I be over this friend?

[ez]

I have a friend and neighbor, years ago our girls were close and we took trips together etc, I also watched her daughter over the summer holidays etc while she worked, never for any charge of course. Her daughter is a year older than mine. In middle school the girls drifted apart and her daughter would only contact mine when she was grounded from her other friends. Similarly, I only hear from this friend when there is a crisis going on. I have invited her to many things and its fair to say she very very rarely shows up (read-almost never)even though I am right across the street. This is my friends only child, I have 3 children the youngest who has autism.
Friends daughter screwed up last year and got suspended from school. Now in 11th grade, friend is desperate for her child to get into one of the state colleges. She says she considers it a failure if her daughter wound up in a community college. (mind you thats where my oldest, who is doing fabulously as an adult, went) So she calls me last night asks me whats going on, I said I had an iep meeting for my son (school placement has been a huge battle for him) she asks how it went I said, eh... ok. Doesnt ask anything else about it or anything about my other kids. Then she goes into painstaking detail of the meeting she went to that day to try to get her 17 year old daughters grade in one of her classes changed from a b to an a. I mean it was almost an hour on the phone with her recounting this, at my sons bedtime no less, and I finally just had to get off. So anyway she says she will get an attorney involved in this grade dispute if she has to. She asked my opinion and I said I think attorneys can be helpful in school issues but I wouldnt get one to have a b changed to an a, but if she has the time and the money, knock yourself out.
Anyway I found myself almost angry after this of how much time I wasted on the phone listening to this nonsense...like I dont have anything going on in my life...geeeeshhhh. I vowed to myself that Im not gonna answer the phone when she calls anymore cause its always the same type of thing. I truly am over it, and I have alot of good friends so why do i waste my time.
Thanks for letting me vent, am I being harsh?

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Oh for Pete's sake. She considers her dd a failure if she goes to CC and she tried to get her grade changed from a B to A?

Yes, you should be "over this friend" by now.

 

[mom2travel]

she definitely sounds like someone you should not waste your precious time with

 

[comicguy]

I would avoid her at all costs!!! IMHO

 

[RitaZ.]

Oh for Pete's sake. She considers her dd a failure if she goes to CC and she tried to get her grade changed from a B to A?

Yes, you should be "over this friend" by now.

What she said!

Parents are doing their kids a major disservice when they interfere this way. I'm sure that college will be an extremely rewarding experience for her and also her daughter.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Well, in this case I won't offer advice...
I will just say that it sounds like you are asking your DIS friends for support/permission to be the heavy and have to cut this person off.
It sounds like that's what you really think you want/need to do.

I think you have kind of answered your own question.

So, yes, you have my blessing!!!

 

[cheermom1]

WOW op you do need to cut her out already. This sounds like this is what you want any way. I think you just needed to voice it.

I on the other had have a child with Aspergers and I will be thrilled beyond belief if he got in a CC!!

Trying to change a B to an A??? oh my talk about too involved???

 

[dislaney]

That sounds like one friendship you really won't miss! Let her go.

 

[ZuZugal]

Sounds like this "friend" is more of a user...and you seem like a nice person with a big shoulder for her to cry on. I would have cut her off after 2 minutes if it was my son's bedtime. Stick up for yourself and your family/kids first and foremost. If you don't give her the time of day she will stop calling.

 

[Handbag Lady]

Oh,my gosh. Your instincts are dead-on right. Time to move on and find a real friend.

 

[LuvOrlando]

It's a bit of a jolt when you finally have an epiphany about someone isn't it? I just deleted someone from Face Book that I thought was my friend for years, not a BFF or anything but a friend. Someone that I would totally bend over backwards for anyway. In truth, she was and is still no more than a user, almost everyone I know couldn't stand her but I stayed friendly out of loyalty since she was my first friend here. She moved and we grew apart, no biggie. Then I happened to be on FB tonight and saw all these pictures of her back in town with her kids and she didn't so much as call to let me know. She's moving back to town and won't be able to count me as one of her support system to help her settle.... I am so done. Hitting that remove button was just soooooo satisfying Buh-bye. OP, I hope you find a healthy way for you to turn the tables too. Some people are just sooo..........

 

[manning]

When I got a 'C' once in school my dad got POd and told me to work harder. That was a subject I never could get and that was my final grade. Dad said you did the best you could and was proud that I didn't give up on it.

That woman isn't doing her child any favors.