share your funny stories as a wedding guest

[earfulofmagic]

I've never been invited to a wedding that was disastrous. Yay me!

sadly my OWN wedding was more like one of these stories y'all are telling... *sigh*

share share share share!

we will help you laugh it off, commiserate, and more.

 

[marcyleecorgan]

share share share share!

we will help you laugh it off, commiserate, and more.

In a very short nutshell...

My wedding was hosted by my Mothers in Law. Yes I have more than one... my husband's biological father passed away in the late 1990's, as he had divorced AND remarried in his life; lucky me, I get so many steps and in-laws it hurts my head to think about it....

Anyway, small intimate wedding at MIL's house, just what we needed to get the legal portion conducted, then larger reception at my Step-MIL's house. Prior to the reception, my family decided to overindulge in the delights found in Canada, both liquid and otherwise...

Then a member of my family flat-point-blank DEMANDED an answer from my Mother in Law and my Step-Mother in Law about whether or not SMIL was *cough* Involved!!! *cough* with my FIL before OR after the official divorce papers with MIL. I don't know why they needed to know, and I'm socially awkward and all but even I know that is NOT something you whip out as a conversation starter at a wedding! Don't speak ill of the dead, don't fuel a feud that has been smoldering for over a decade already, certainly not while perched on a lawn chair at a party hosted at the HOUSE that was a focal point of the divorce settlement!!!!

And YESSSSSSS my family was given a backgrounder on awkward "skeletons in the closet" topics that they should avoid, just for one night. Ferreting out the juicy gossip details of WHY certain family members are cool and civil but no more with each other, yeah DON'T do that at a wedding!!!! AUGH!

But no actual physical violence, just really amusing photos because from any random audience, it looks like a lovely garden party. Flowers, sunshine, smiles... what the photos don't show you is that one family member is so "relaxed" that they have been almost tied to a lawn chair to keep them in place. Nobody knows that a guest is actually totally unconscious and asleep in all her photos because of the massive sunhat and sunglasses... Nobody sees the family member acting as bouncer over the no-longer-open-bar. There are no embarrassing dance or speech photos because everyone is passed out and sleeping in the basement where it's cooler. And nobody is hearing the hissing voices of several other people who are trying to figure out how to keep the charade going on away from the few innocent guests who were invited to the wedding reception and just wanted to congratulate the happy couple and enjoy a nice afternoon...

and as the bride... well, I had a strapless dress on, so my only job was to keep myself from a wardrobe malfunction while smiling at everything and nothing for the entire day.

 

[broncobill]

At the reception the bride was caught making out with another woman.

 

[earfulofmagic]

Anyway, small intimate wedding at MIL's house, just what we needed to get the legal portion conducted, then larger reception at my Step-MIL's house. Prior to the reception, my family decided to overindulge in the delights found in Canada, both liquid and otherwise...

this must be poutine, right?

Then a member of my family flat-point-blank DEMANDED an answer from my Mother in Law and my Step-Mother in Law about whether or not SMIL was *cough* Involved!!! *cough* with my FIL before OR after the official divorce papers with MIL. I don't know why they needed to know, and I'm socially awkward and all but even I know that is NOT something you whip out as a conversation starter at a wedding! Don't speak ill of the dead, don't fuel a feud that has been smoldering for over a decade already, certainly not while perched on a lawn chair at a party hosted at the HOUSE that was a focal point of the divorce settlement!!!!

And YESSSSSSS my family was given a backgrounder on awkward "skeletons in the closet" topics that they should avoid, just for one night. Ferreting out the juicy gossip details of WHY certain family members are cool and civil but no more with each other, yeah DON'T do that at a wedding!!!! AUGH!

so awkward. weddings are not the place for family drama investigation. I'm nosy too, but I know when to just... not be. that said, those kinds of people are usually thoroughly entertaining! but very unfortunate it was at your wedding.

there is a similar situation in my SO's family, and it almost came to a head at our college graduation but MIL and SMIL both backed out of attending at the last minute. phew!

But no actual physical violence, just really amusing photos because from any random audience, it looks like a lovely garden party. Flowers, sunshine, smiles... what the photos don't show you is that one family member is so "relaxed" that they have been almost tied to a lawn chair to keep them in place. Nobody knows that a guest is actually totally unconscious and asleep in all her photos because of the massive sunhat and sunglasses... Nobody sees the family member acting as bouncer over the no-longer-open-bar. There are no embarrassing dance or speech photos because everyone is passed out and sleeping in the basement where it's cooler. And nobody is hearing the hissing voices of several other people who are trying to figure out how to keep the charade going on away from the few innocent guests who were invited to the wedding reception and just wanted to congratulate the happy couple and enjoy a nice afternoon...

this is hilarious!!! strapped to a lawn chair, unconscious guest masked by sunhat and glasses... absolutely priceless

 

[CarolAnn856]

I think the funniest thing I've seen at a wedding happened when we were in our 20s and occurred at the after-party. The wedding was held at a beautiful, large B&B, so we all stayed there. The reception had been a blast, and once the bride and groom went to their room, our group of friends (mostly male friends of the groom and their wives) continued the party poolside. Cue about a dozen very drunk guys going skinny-dipping. One of my friends and I made sure our DHs did not ruin their potential future political careers, lol.

 

[Sabeking]

When I was in college in a little town up in the mountains a girl down the hall in my dorm was getting married. They had about 2 sticks to rub together to pay for this thing so she started collecting soda tabs to help pay for the wedding. Finally said Day came. Myself and another dorm friend were invited. It was in a tiny small Baptist church in the mountains with about 50 guests. They exchange their vows and then the groom walks over to a velvet curtain. The curtain opens and their is the groom and four other dudes with electric guitars, drums...etc He says, to Kerry....(the bride) I'm gonna sing you a lullaby girl. He whips his long hair out of this ponytail and starts singing or should I say screetching "I'm gonna sing you a lullaby, lullaby!" His head is going back and forth and hair is going everywhere! The people in the church were horrified. I was giggling so hard I almost peed in my pants. My friend turned to me and said, " now that's what I call unconditional love!"

We ended the afternoon with mints, miniature pickles,cheese straws and cake in the church reception hall.

 

[disneyeveryyear]

I was a bridesmaid in the late '80's or early '90's in Dallas, Texas. My BF (also a bridesmaid) and I are the first to arrive at the reception hall (High floor in a glass tower on a warm and very sunny day). The manager comes up and asks if we are in the wedding party (no, we just wear matching dresses with big bows on our butts for the heck of it). He takes us to the cake table that they had placed in front of a west facing window for a late afternoon/early evening wedding. The entire back 1/3 of the cake had slid off. So when our friend (the bride) arrived. We grabbed her a bellini and told her that the schedule was being slightly altered. Pictures with the cake (the front still looked fine) were first, and then cocktail hour would begin. Luckily all of the relevant pics were taken and the cake disassembled and removed to the kitchen before anymore could melt.

About 3 years ago I attend the wedding of BF's youngest son. The majority of the bridal party had all gone to college together. There was a 2 hour lag between the wedding and reception and the wedding party had spent the time on their party bus, so they were intoxicated before they even got there. So when it came time for toasts, the maid of honor decided to play the game "Never Have I Ever." Apparently most of the college friends had hooked up with each other at some point in their time at school. We also learned about drinking in basements, peeing in cups and almost getting caught by the administration which would have resulted in being kicked off their respective athletic teams. It quickly became a train wreck and I was just appalled with the grandmothers sitting there listening, etc.

 

[weeniecat2442]

A few years ago I attended a FANCY wedding in the Financial District in NYC. And when I say fancy I mean over the top, incredibly expensive wedding. It was a blast!
Except for the speeches. There were at least five long speeches. The really low point was when the Father began talking about seeing the beautiful bride "crowning" while her mom was giving birth to her.
I had to tune out at that point. Everyone was pretty embarrassed! Bride especially!

 

[earfulofmagic]

I was a bridesmaid in the late '80's or early '90's in Dallas, Texas. My BF (also a bridesmaid) and I are the first to arrive at the reception hall (High floor in a glass tower on a warm and very sunny day). The manager comes up and asks if we are in the wedding party (no, we just wear matching dresses with big bows on our butts for the heck of it). He takes us to the cake table that they had placed in front of a west facing window for a late afternoon/early evening wedding. The entire back 1/3 of the cake had slid off. So when our friend (the bride) arrived. We grabbed her a bellini and told her that the schedule was being slightly altered. Pictures with the cake (the front still looked fine) were first, and then cocktail hour would begin. Luckily all of the relevant pics were taken and the cake disassembled and removed to the kitchen before anymore could melt.

About 3 years ago I attend the wedding of BF's youngest son. The majority of the bridal party had all gone to college together. There was a 2 hour lag between the wedding and reception and the wedding party had spent the time on their party bus, so they were intoxicated before they even got there. So when it came time for toasts, the maid of honor decided to play the game "Never Have I Ever." Apparently most of the college friends had hooked up with each other at some point in their time at school. We also learned about drinking in basements, peeing in cups and almost getting caught by the administration which would have resulted in being kicked off their respective athletic teams. It quickly became a train wreck and I was just appalled with the grandmothers sitting there listening, etc.

"we just wear matching dresses with big bows on our butts for the heck of it"
you both did a great job as bridesmaids, though! at least she has all of the cake photos did nobody else notice the cake had melted before you arrived?

that second wedding... ahhhh those stories are for the bachelorette and stag parties, not for the reception. major facepalm

 

[earfulofmagic]

A few years ago I attended a FANCY wedding in the Financial District in NYC. And when I say fancy I mean over the top, incredibly expensive wedding. It was a blast!
Except for the speeches. There were at least five long speeches. The really low point was when the Father began talking about seeing the beautiful bride "crowning" while her mom was giving birth to her.
I had to tune out at that point. Everyone was pretty embarrassed! Bride especially!

I would publicly disown any family member who said this at my wedding.

 

[earfulofmagic]

Several months after DH & I were married, my new SIL, whom at the time of our wedding was just my brothers girlfriend, revealed to me that at our reception there were ladies in the restroom taking bets on how long our marriage would last. What she failed to mention was she was the one facilitating the conversation on the "bets".

I'd like to point out that our 15th Anniversary is in two days and I'd like the twat to pay up. Not to mention her marriage to my brother lasted less than 4 years due to her cheating on him several times, so.

Btw, Happy 15th Anniversary! do let us know if she ever pays up

 

[Sagginit]

I went to a wedding with my dad when I was 16 (divorced parents). I got all dressed up and was excited. Well my dad didn't want to dance and didn't really want me dancing. He later complained to my mother I looked "too mature" and should have toned it down. I was in a black beaded tank top (full thick straps), black wide leg dress pants, and heels. Maybe he expected a mother of the groom pantsuit? The wedding party got drunk and the drunk groom smashed cake all over the bride's face when they finally cut it. She was furious and punched him in the face and a fight broke out. They had to tear them apart and drag them out of the venue...... real classy.

I was at a friends wedding and it was great but her MOH was her sister. She got drunk and her speech was right before they cut the cake. There was a lot of colorful language about how much she loved her sister. Another friend had her sister be her MOH and she used the speech as a jab at her boyfriend that they weren't engaged.... things like these two got engaged in spite of still being in grad school and going into marriage without even owning a house and not concerned about money but about their love. It was prewritten too, yikes!!!!

 

[disneyeveryyear]

"we just wear matching dresses with big bows on our butts for the heck of it"
you both did a great job as bridesmaids, though! at least she has all of the cake photos did nobody else notice the cake had melted before you arrived?

that second wedding... ahhhh those stories are for the bachelorette and stag parties, not for the reception. major facepalm

We were among the first to arrive. I guess since he saw matching dresses he figured we were in the wedding party. The question just seemed so unnecessary.

I was appalled for my BF when those stories started.

 

[RedAngie]

Tangdrivers!

I used to drink Tangdrivers in college before I had a fridge in my dorm room. I think they also made Grape Tang back then.

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

Not as a guest, but at my first wedding the preacher "presented" us as the wrong name

 

[Patience]

My husband and I were invited to a "garden" wedding. We arrived at the wedding venue and it was basically a mowed down corn field. I was wearing what I thought was appropriate for a summer garden wedding (a sundress) and I made my husband wear a shirt and tie. We had a blazer with us just in case he needed a jacket (he didn't). We were way overdressed for this wedding. Anyway, we sat down on metal chairs borrowed from the local volunteer fire department (they were stamped VFD on the back). The music started and the bride arrived and the guy sitting next to us, who was wearing denim overalls and a tank top, reached in his mouth with his finger and pulled out his big wad of chewing tobacco. And threw it. Into the aisle where the bride was getting ready to walk. My husband and I still laugh about this.

 

[Jennasis]

At my cousin's wedding the officiant kept calling the bride "Janice" during the ceremony. An usher leaned in at one point and whispered "Her name is Jeanine". The old man shrugged and said "She won't notice."

 

[earfulofmagic]

At my cousin's wedding the officiant kept calling the bride "Janice" during the ceremony. An usher leaned in at one point and whispered "Her name is Jeanine". The old man shrugged and said "She won't notice."

I think she probably noticed... ***, haha

Not as a guest, but at my first wedding the preacher "presented" us as the wrong name

This too! How does this even happen? Two names, officiant, two names to get right for the next hour...

 

[eskskick]

So my cousin was gaining 2 step children (6&8) along with her husband. They were going on a family-moon to Disneyland a few days after the wedding. It was a surprise, the kids thought they were going camping. So my Mom (bride's aunt) walks up to them and asks them if they're excited to fly on an airplane (knowing they never have). The kids answer with excitement, "We're going on a plane?!" My Mom answers with, "Well how else are you going to get to Disneyland?" At which point her sister lets her know the kids didn't know. Meanwhile the kids are freaking out trying to find their parents to confirm this news they just heard! Lol, it was priceless! 15 years later and my Mom still hasn't lived it down.