Share your funny parenting stories. We all have em!

[mommaU4]

Okay here's mine:

We had just moved to Michigan from California in Aug. of 2004. My kids started a new school, new teachers, new everything.

After being here about a month my DS lost a tooth. It happened later in the day and I had nothing to put under the pillow from the "tooth fairy". For us to get to "town" is about a 25 minute drive to the closest store, bank, whatever, which I was not going to do late at night.

DH and I could think of nothing to put under the pillow! It was late, we were tired and I couldn't even find a dollar anywhere in the house!! The only thing I had was a $10 bill in my purse sooooo...that's what DS got from the tooth fairy that night.

The next day he goes to school and tells his teacher what happened. Needless to say, she was shocked to hear he got ten bucks! Later that day at recess a teacher's aide comes up to him and says "So I heard the tooth fairy brought you $10 last night?" He said yes and went off playing.

When he told me this I was so embarrassed because all I could imagine was his teacher going to the teacher's lounge at lunch and telling everyone how those parents from California give their kids ten bucks from the tooth fairy!!

Now I keep a stash of ones for just this purpose!! He just lost another one today which reminded me of this story. No more ten dollar bills from this tooth fairy!!

 

[Nancy]

Up until 5 years ago I worked the overnight shift. One morning I come home from work to find my bedroom ceiling fan laying on my kitchen floor! I wake up DH to see why it is down there. The following is the story of my broken fan.

# dd's and their friend (who was staying over) were in my bedroom. DH fell asleep on the couch. Kids were playing gymanstics with my bed (fan is above the bed) youngest dd's foot hits the fan (as she was being thrown through the air, into a somersalt to land on the bed) and breaks the blade off. DD's and friend all know that Mom is going to be mad because they have been told repeatedly NOT to do this. So brilliant oldest DD tries to hot glue the blade back on, that doesn't work, so then they say "let's turn the fan on and see if you can tell the blade is gone when it's moving fast" turn on the fan and surprise, it's off balance and wobbling all over. Blades are hitting the ceiling, 1 more blade comes off and FLIES through the air, putting a big hole in my wall. (thank god it wasn't a head!) 3 kids run out of the room screaming, middle DD can't get out so she is crawling under covers and screaming. DH finally wakes up, comes upstairs and sees what happens. He runs down to turn off the circuit breaker, lights go out and kids scream even louder. Dh then realizes he didn't have to shut power off, just flip the switch on the wall. I could just see the commotion in my house! I was mad at the time, but now I find the whole thing pretty funny.

 

[bgirldeb]

@ both stories!

Hot glue-

 

[luvmydogs]

I've been a vegetarian for 24 years, but as I am the wife and mom of carnivores, I cook meat for them. One Thanksgiving when ds was 4, my dh was putting gravy on his turkey and I snidely remarked, "Ewwwwwwww, I don't know how you can eat the blood of poor, innocent murdered animals," which he promptly ignored as he always does.

Fast forward to the first day back at preschool...I'm picking ds up at the end of his day, when his teacher asks if she could please speak with me. Well, it seems that the topic in "Sharing" that morning was, "What did you eat on Thanksgiving?" Well, just one guess as to what ds shared with the class about what he ate that day? Yes, he told his Christian school classmates that "we ate the blood of murdered animals."

Long story short, I now keep my big mouth shut.

 

[disneyeveryyear]

In my normal sarcastic mode, when asked by my DKs "How did you know what I was doing?", I would reply, "I am psychotic, I know everything."

DD3, didn't understand the sarcasm, or the play on words. So, while cruising with DCL, DD is commented on by comedian at family show, "You must be a smart little girl." To which she replies "Yes, I am psychotic!" The entire place was in stiches.

To top it off, while on-stage during snowball bingo, the CM comments that he heard she had told the comedian that she was psychotic. She replies, "Yes, and my mom is too!"

I really watch what I am saying now!