Shameless spin-off of another thread, but...really?

[amg35]

about kids and chores!

Do you really mean to tell me that people think that if a child doesn't have to do laundry or cook when they live at home, they won't be able to figure it out when they are on their own???

I didn't do laundry. Guess what, the first time I did it, I read the directions and figured it out. Not that hard.

I didn't cook at home. I moved out, got hungry, learned to cook.

I did clean my bathroom, my room, dust, dishes, etc at home...moved out and the first year I lived with an inch of dust!

Part of being on your own is learning these types of things and I don't think that because you didn't do laundry, you are ill-prepared for life.

Of course having your kids help out with this stuff is just fine, and teaches responsibility, but I don't think kids who don't do this will be drooling idiots who put dish soap in a dryer.

'm sure this will annoy a few people so sorry, but this just boggles my mind!

 

[AKL_Megs]

To me, it's more about HELPING your parents.

 

[amg35]

To me, it's more about HELPING your parents.

But that's not my point. Of course you should help out.

But...there have been plenty of posts that seem to paint children who didn't have to do chores as incapable of being a self-sufficient young adult.

That's what I'm talking about.

 

[Hannathy]

I agree with you! anybody who can read can do laundry, cook or clean! Especially with the computer and internet it is even easier to look up instructions.

as the old saying goes it isn't rocket science!

 

[diznygirl]

I didn't do any chores growing up. My mom was a bit (!) of a control freak. I couldn't touch the washer/dryer because I might "touch the wrong buttons." Other housework just couldn't be done when/how she wanted. There are issues there, but it did not prevent me from learning how to do those things on my own.

I'm a good housekeeper now. And my kids love helping me. And I let them!

 

[RitaZ.]

about kids and chores!

Do you really mean to tell me that people think that if a child doesn't have to do laundry or cook when they live at home, they won't be able to figure it out when they are on their own???

I didn't do laundry. Guess what, the first time I did it, I read the directions and figured it out. Not that hard.

I didn't cook at home. I moved out, got hungry, learned to cook.

I did clean my bathroom, my room, dust, dishes, etc at home...moved out and the first year I lived with an inch of dust!

Part of being on your own is learning these types of things and I don't think that because you didn't do laundry, you are ill-prepared for life.

Of course having your kids help out with this stuff is just fine, and teaches responsibility, but I don't think kids who don't do this will be drooling idiots who put dish soap in a dryer.

'm sure this will annoy a few people so sorry, but this just boggles my mind!

I agree with you. I didn't do laundry. I didn't know how to cook. I did help to clean the house, but that was it. However, I managed to learn to do all those things and a whole lot more when the situation called for it. BTW, I'm 45.

 

[amg35]

I will admit, when I did start cooking on my own it took a bit of time for me to learn to have everything done at the same time.

There were plenty of nights where I would be eating rice and then 20 minutes later the chicken would be done!

 

[emer95]

Kids eventually figure things out, but having experience definitely helps!

My favorite story is from a friend of mine at work. Her son did nothing for himself- nothing! When he went to college and moved out and tried making himself a grilled cheese sandwich. He called his mom and told her, "I don't know what I did wrong, Mom. Once side was totally burned and the other side wasn't cooked at all."

He didn't realize he had to flip it over.

LOL! This boy is a gynocologist today.

 

[DVCLiz]

Kids eventually figure things out, but having experience definitely helps!

My favorite story is from a friend of mine at work. Her son did nothing for himself- nothing! When he went to college and moved out and tried making himself a grilled cheese sandwich. He called his mom and told her, "I don't know what I did wrong, Mom. Once side was totally burned and the other side wasn't cooked at all."

He didn't realize he had to flip it over.

LOL! This boy is a gynocologist today.

There's such a great joke to be made here, but I don't want to risk it...

You'll be amazed to know that some kids who don't have part-time jobs during the school year and full-time jobs every summer during middle and high school also figure out how to live on a budget and spend and save money responsibly when they get their first job out of college.

And, some kids who have their college educations paid for appreciate them and earn a degree that leads to a successful future. Sshhh, don't tell anyone...

 

[TheZue]

My husband didn't figure out how to use windex well until he was 23 and was tired of me laughing at him. I still taunt him about his shocked exclamation of "You can vaccum linoleum??!!!??!!!" My FIL didn't figure out how to do laundry until he was in his fifties, and yes there were some quotes from that which my SIL and I still laugh at. Sure my boys will eventually figure it out if I don't teach them, but I'm saving my DIL some trouble and saving them from being laughed at.

 

[staley7580]

My husband didn't figure out how to use windex well until he was 23 and was tired of me laughing at him. I still taunt him about his shocked exclamation of "You can vaccum linoleum??!!!??!!!" My FIL didn't figure out how to do laundry until he was in his fifties, and yes there were some quotes from that which my SIL and I still laugh at. Sure my boys will eventually figure it out if I don't teach them, but I'm saving my DIL some trouble and saving them from being laughed at.

EXACTLY! My husband moved straight from his mothers house to mine.. and she did everything for him. He didnt even know how to load a dishwasher. No big. I taught him. But I do feel that my MIL did my husband a disservice.. After 8 years, I am still teaching him to do things.. I wont do that to my kids future spouses. I want my kids to know how to cook, and clean.. and run a home. BEFORE they move out.

 

[Christine]

I didn't have any set chores growing. I was an only child, we had a small home, and both my parents managed to easily keep the house organized and under control.

I occasionally did dishes after dinner but that stopped because my mom wasn't satisfied with the way the were cleaned. I sometimes had to dust or vacuum but nothing was "my job." If I needed something washed urgently, it was up to me (once I was a teen) to do it myself, and I did. I also had to iron my own clothes because we were an "iron as you go" family. So, nothing was assingned to me and a basically lived a life of being waited on.

I moved out at 19 and was able to cook, clean, and do all the things my parents did just by reading instructions and using common sense.

That doesn't mean I don't think kids shouldn't have chores, I think they should. But as long as they are able to read and follow directions, they will do fine on their own.

 

[DVCLiz]

I think the issue of a helpless husband is entirely different (and should be another thread - I think we could all tell some amusing stories!) from the issue of not haivng any of these responsibilities assigned to children until they leave home. Both men and women can and should be able to figure out these life skills once they are on their own, even if they haven't had practice during childhood or young adulthood.

A man who moves fom momma to wife and never has to learn any domestic skills has been babied and I wouldn't put up with that for a lifetime. I'd toss him the dirty laundry and go to a movie. And when I came back I'd expect some clean laundry that wasn't ruined.

 

[MerMom60_94]

I was the youngest child and when I would ask my mother if I could help cook she would tell me "if you want to help me, leave the kitchen and get out of my way!" I can be kind of the same way if I am really busy. I prefer to do my own thing than trip over other people. Anyway, when I got married I had minimal cooking skills and didn't know how to do any laundry. My husband taught me all that. Believe me, not having to do these things as a child hasn't hindered me from doing them every day of my adult life.

DD doesn't have to have regularly assigned chores to know how to fend for herself. She definitely knows how to cook, she just doesn't do it on a regular basis. She can throw in a load of laundry if she is looking for a particular outfit that hasn't been cleaned and she knows how to fold. DH has even taught her trimming hedges, mowing, staining the house, how to use the snow blower - things I don't necessarily know how to do. That doesn't mean she has to do these things on a regular basis to know how to get by in life.

 

[Ceila]

Finally - someone posted what I've been thinking every time I read those statements!!

Not that I'm saying that kids shouldn't help out - they should! (Mine certainly are expected to.)

But kids who don't have chore lists, don't have after-school jobs, do have their college paid for, do have parents who pay their car insurance when they're teens, etc. are not doomed to a life of failure.

 

[Angelhalo]

about kids and chores!

Do you really mean to tell me that people think that if a child doesn't have to do laundry or cook when they live at home, they won't be able to figure it out when they are on their own???

I didn't do laundry. Guess what, the first time I did it, I read the directions and figured it out. Not that hard.

I didn't cook at home. I moved out, got hungry, learned to cook.

I did clean my bathroom, my room, dust, dishes, etc at home...moved out and the first year I lived with an inch of dust!

Part of being on your own is learning these types of things and I don't think that because you didn't do laundry, you are ill-prepared for life.

Of course having your kids help out with this stuff is just fine, and teaches responsibility, but I don't think kids who don't do this will be drooling idiots who put dish soap in a dryer.

'm sure this will annoy a few people so sorry, but this just boggles my mind!

I agree with you OP. It's fine if you want to give your kids chores and your reasons are your reasons. But, to think that if you don't have them doing it these things while they're teens, means they'll be completely lost later on, seems silly. I had no "chores" growing up but I am a fully functioning 31 year old. I do laundry, I clean our home, I cook our dinner, and I even decorate cakes. I'm a very good cook from what people tell me. My mom was not a great cook so I certainly didn't need to learn it from her LOL!

 

[NikiM20]

My grandparents raised me and my grandmother is from the generation where the wife did everything. I was never allowed to use the stove, washer, dryer etc. It was "hers". I figured everything out To this day she is the same way. After one of the hurricanes she got electricity back first and I needed to do laundry. I sorted the laundry etc, but she insisted on putting the clothes in, adding detergent, starting it etc. I think it is a generational thing.

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

Great post, OP. We didn't have chores growing up (and I absolutely hate the sound of that word. It grates on my nerves for some reason) and I turned into a fine adult.

I am an excellent cook, and I can amazingly function very well on my own I've been doing it for a very long time.

 

[Planogirl]

I stay out of those threads. I've shown DS how to do laundry but I do it all myself because I want to. I never feel like the others do it right but that's just my thing.

I'm sure that DS will do fine when he is on his own even if he does the laundry all wrong.

 

[MIGrandma]

I never did laundry, or cooked, or scrubbed a toilet until I got married.

I learned on my own how to do all those things and more.

At home I was responsible for keeping my own room clean, helping with the dishes every day and the weekly ironing and that was about it.

The only things I cooked at home before getting married was a macaroni salad once, spaghetti and popovers. Mom didn't like me "messing up" her kitchen.

Now with my own children, I did make sure they knew how to do their own laundry before they left home for college/marriage. And they knew their way around the kitchen as well.