Shallowness

[jobrosx0disney]

Do you consider yourself to be shallow?

I didn't, but something that happened to me recently made me rethink this. So let me just rant on, and feel free to share your opinion about being shallow

I've always said that intelligence and being funny is the most attractive thing and what I look for in guys. But in the past three days, I've been infatuated by someone who I know really likes me, and is both intelligent and funny, but he just isn't that good looking .

Looks wise, he is cute. I don't do 'cute', I do more rugged and harsher good looks, possibly slightly more masculine. So when I look at him, there isn't an obvious attraction based on just looks, which I thought would never be important to me. I still consider that to be shallow and pathetic, but somehow I've turned into that :/

But his personality is just perfect. He is hilariously funny, ambitious, intelligent and spontaneous. So much about us is similar yet also so amazingly different. I am in no way 'random', spontaneous or able to let myself go easily, whilst that just comes naturally to him. We agree on things like religion, education and loads of other stuff, which is weird because sometimes my opinion isn't always the easiest to understand.

I've never met someone who I've so easily been able to click with. It takes me days for me to have a good conversation with someone new, but this happened within hours, during a 'gathering' in our friends shed. Which doesn't sound too romantic, but we just talked all night. We also went out today, and talked loads too.

I dunno whether I can see myself being with him though because there is no physical attraction , I always assumed personality would be enough. Even though everything about him is perfect, there is just still something stopping me from going for it. I hate the idea of me being shallow. So maybe I am just a little shallow? Who knows.

Saying that, I just have this gut feeling? You know that feeling?! Lol. It is hard to explain. I can't focus on anything, it takes me ages to sleep and even though I am hungry, I can't eat. This has all happened in three days :l and I realise that I sound like a pathetic 16 year old, but I never thought this would happen to me.
Wow, that was long If anyone has read that, I praise you

What are your experiences? Have you ever been with someone based on just their personality/looks alone? Anyone with similar stuff?

Discuss being shallow

(for the part i highlighted) sweetie... we are in the same boat. except im 14 lol. ive seriously been going through the same thing. i couldn't eat for at least 3 days.. but now ive started eating again lol. falling asleep sucks. it takes me seriously like and hour or more to fall asleep b/c all i think about is this one kid. and i know you may all think im crazy since im only 14... but i really think i might be in love. and from you saying this... you could be too. idk how long you've been going through this.. but mine has been for about a month. (its been longer but its gotten serious this month)
love sucks sometimes. LOL :|

 

[saratogadreamin09]

Here's my story about shallowness


The boy I have a crush on now is not the cutest person on earth but he's nice. Last year I never thought he was cute but once I got to know him I found out how great of a person he is so now I think he's a lot cuter

 

[Axel]

i'm not shallow. i've dated men who were very overweight, men who were very underweight, men who were drop dead sexy, and men who's looks could have left a lot to be desired to some people.

but, there was something that made me date every one of those people. and it was never how they looked. yes, sometimes their looks were icing on the cake, but i never held physicalities against anyone.

i don't feel that i'm the most attractive person, so i don't hold the way anyone looks against them, because thats how i would want to be treated.

my boyfriend is, in my opinion, the most beautiful person in the world. and today, he came home to me in sweat pants and a sweatshirt with my hair in a mess. and he looked at me and told me that i'm beautiful. and, to him, i am.

when you love someone, they are beautiful in your eyes, no matter how they look to anyone else.

at least thats how i feel.

This is how I feel as well. I know that for some people, physical attraction means less, but who appears attractive varies from person to person. For example, not many of my friends (maybe 1 of them) thinks that John is good-looking. But to me, he's pretty much the most handsome guy around.

 

[disneychick2721]

i don't feel that i'm the most attractive person, so i don't hold the way anyone looks against them, because thats how i would want to be treated.

ditto.

 

[Babyjustrun]

I'm shallow in the sense that I'll bash people and I'm not any better than them. I'm usually x56789 worse than them.

 

[chisnpeke]

Hmmm...sounds like me! And NO!, I will not put the tacos down!

Ok, I used to eat a ton of Oreos...I ate a whole pack of them myself. That was when I was able to do that kind of thing and not have to worry about it. I'd also eat Krispy Kremes all the time. But miraculously I never gained weight. My ex boyfriend just started to eat and and eat and eat a bunch of crap (Taco Bell isn't exactly crap but when it's all you eat it does bad things for you!) I just can't stand it when someone does that and then cries about it. Don't complain and question and cry "why am I so fat?" uhh lay off the fastfood and you'll see a difference. I mean at least have some variety in your diet! It just got to be too much with him...in the morning he'd have an energy drink and then after school all he would have was a taco salad or a big burrito chalupa thing.

Vent over.

 

[chisnpeke]

(for the part i highlighted) sweetie... we are in the same boat. except im 14 lol. ive seriously been going through the same thing. i couldn't eat for at least 3 days.. but now ive started eating again lol. falling asleep sucks. it takes me seriously like and hour or more to fall asleep b/c all i think about is this one kid. and i know you may all think im crazy since im only 14... but i really think i might be in love. and from you saying this... you could be too. idk how long you've been going through this.. but mine has been for about a month. (its been longer but its gotten serious this month)
love sucks sometimes. LOL :|

I had the same thing happen to me at 14. I had a huge crush on this guy (and he told me he liked me first) but he was a serial dater. Anyways, I was constantly thinking of him 24/7 and convinced myself I was in love...I wasn't, I was just infatuated. I only realized that after I fell in love for real though.

 

[DollfieDreams]

ive had my experiences, and the one fact remains: i am everything but shallow.
id honestly hate myself if i called myself shallow.
dont flame me :/

 

[ohdisco]

I'm shallow.
I know what I'm attracted to, and if they lack in all/most of those attributes, I'm most likely not going to like them in the long run. Most of the people I know are the same way.

My boyfriend is the worst about it though. He said he could never date someone who didn't have the same body type as I did, and who wasn't as tiny as I am. He's told me I'm his ideal and he doesn't seem to be attracted to anyone who isn't really thin with a big chest and the "sexy librarian" type (which he always defines me as).

 

[MrsSparrow..]

Thanks so much for all your replies. I wanted to reply to them all, but I ended up quoting so many my post with have been ridiculously long.

I'm just gonna try to stop thinking about it so much and let what happens, happen. I don't really believe "everything happens for a reason" but on this ocassion, I'll make an exception.

This thread does make me laugh though, because I usually hate the relationship venting threads because I see them all the time on here and other boards. But I just couldn't resist.

(for the part i highlighted) sweetie... we are in the same boat. except im 14 lol. ive seriously been going through the same thing. i couldn't eat for at least 3 days.. but now ive started eating again lol. falling asleep sucks. it takes me seriously like and hour or more to fall asleep b/c all i think about is this one kid. and i know you may all think im crazy since im only 14... but i really think i might be in love. and from you saying this... you could be too. idk how long you've been going through this.. but mine has been for about a month. (its been longer but its gotten serious this month)
love sucks sometimes. LOL :|

Lol, yeah I see what you mean. I'm definately not in love though. When I read that I was like Omg, no way! Haha, everyone is different though. Good luck with your love

 

[ilovepoohbear]

This guy is in my year and he is attracted to me but i just dont like him. Partly because I don't find him good lookng and partly because all he talks about is computers and I hate computers.

I went out with this guy and no-one else found him good looking but I thought he was and he had a great personality. When he split with me, my friend Zoe got to know him and now she is going out with him. It was weird because she didn't find him good looking but she got to know him and she is attracted to him.

 

[HSMndLKfan92]

I don't think its shallowness if everyone's looking for someone attractive.

 

[iloveyou_belle]

i dont think im shallow at all but i have to say, i have my shallow moments, especially when im hanging out with the boys. like i would never ask a girl out if i didnt find her attractive in the first place.

this one girl asked me out before, i didnt find her attractive but i said yes anyway. we started hanging out and she turned out to be an awesome and cool person. i started to like her but only as a friend and she was cool with that. we ended up being best friends.

 

[PurpleDucky]

i'm not shallow. i've dated men who were very overweight, men who were very underweight, men who were drop dead sexy, and men who's looks could have left a lot to be desired to some people.

but, there was something that made me date every one of those people. and it was never how they looked. yes, sometimes their looks were icing on the cake, but i never held physicalities against anyone.

i don't feel that i'm the most attractive person, so i don't hold the way anyone looks against them, because thats how i would want to be treated.

my boyfriend is, in my opinion, the most beautiful person in the world. and today, he came home to me in sweat pants and a sweatshirt with my hair in a mess. and he looked at me and told me that i'm beautiful. and, to him, i am.

when you love someone, they are beautiful in your eyes, no matter how they look to anyone else.

at least thats how i feel.

i agree.

 

[BabyPiglet]

I agree with Shelby's post. I'm not shallow in the sense of seeing other people's beauty.

Shallow can have a lot of different meanings, so it depends on what you think of the word if you would say I was.

 

[K-Shong99]

my theory is that i'm not shallow.
i just know what i like.
:]
but i guess for me it doesn't really matter.
the guys that i find sexy, everyone else thinks are ugly.
my friends constantly make fun of me about the guys that i find attractive.