Separate or Joint Checking Accounts?

[eliza61]

Question for those of you who keep separate accounts..

What about savings goals? Do you agree to put a certain percentage of each paycheck into savings?

Just curious.. I know DH would never contribute to his Roth or savings unless I made him do it.

Oh that's very easy. We simply talk about what the goals are, how much can afford to pay etc, etc. My Dh is the more discipline one out of us as far as savings. When we set a goal like a vacation or when we wanted to purchase our dvc we came up with a monthly amount we needed to save for and then transfered that money into an account set up for that item. (we have 1 joint account we call the "house")

We keep 3 months living expenses in a ING account that doesn't get touched unless the world is literally ending. Since the recession our goal is to get that up to 6 months. That's hard because we are paying college tuition.

I'm the better shopper, as I will research loans, prices, bargains until the cows come home.

I have a pocketbook fetish. I love expensive bags (Kate spade, louie, coach etc). Dh trust me implicityly. He never has to worry about me buying a bag before our "needs" are taken care of. The same with me, if he comes in and says he's thinking about buying a boat. I know 100%, without a doubt that he has crunched the numbers and that he would not jepordize our financial security over his hobby.

That trust is what makes our marriage a success not having a joint account.
As I said before, the 3 girls I know who's husbands up and left them with kids all had joint accounts. Sure as heck didn't help them out. So I don't buy into the "seperate accounts mean you don't trust the person" stigma.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

. Now I'm largely shopping for his gifts out of his money, which doesn't seem right to me.

I always found that weird as well. But since I stay home--no choice really. A separate account wouldn't change that it was his hours that paid for the gift.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

.

That trust is what makes our marriage a success not having a joint account.
As I said before, the 3 girls I know who's husbands up and left them with kids all had joint accounts. Sure as heck didn't help them out. So I don't buy into the "seperate accounts mean you don't trust the person" stigma.

You are placing too much emphasis on separate accounts being the reason for your success in marriage.

As for women with joint accounts--if they are blind to the finances while sharing such accounts or blind to their relational issues, then again--the joint account was not the cause of their downfall either.


The whole point is--be on the same page with finances as the spouse, whether it is merged finances or separate.

 

[disney1990]

I have my own checking and savings accounts and DH has his own. However, we are actually "on" each others accounts, we just don't write checks off of them. As far as bills are concerned, I pay some of these and DH pays some of them. It's worked this way for 26 years now.

 

[rabyoga]

We have joint accounts for our 21 yrs of marriage. Hubby is nuts about money; so he handles the bill paying, etc. (Which is fine with me cause I hate doing it-only had to do it when he was deployed and I HATED it!). Whatever works for your relationship

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

You are placing too much emphasis on separate accounts being the reason for your success in marriage.

As for women with joint accounts--if they are blind to the finances while sharing such accounts or blind to their relational issues, then again--the joint account was not the cause of their downfall either.


The whole point is--be on the same page with finances as the spouse, whether it is merged finances or separate.

 

[si-am]

We have separate accounts but a joint one for bills, mortgage, groceries, etc.

Sometimes it is a pain to have to constantly transfer money into the joint account to pay bills, but I think I'd freak out if we pooled our money together into one big joint account. I really like having *my* separate money, and I'm pretty sure DH feels the same way.

I got married late, at 30, and by then I was so independent that I was just used to doing my own thing. Also, my mom was a housewife/SAHM who was in terrible trouble after my parents' divorce because she didn't have anything of "her own."

So for my peace of mind, and for our lifestyle, it just makes more sense to keep things separate, mostly.

 

[Jenvenza]

We have a joint bank account. My ex-husband and I had separate accounts - his idea - and I never liked that. I ended up divorcing him.





Not for the separate bank accounts though!

 

[Planogirl]

We've never had a joint account. It always seemed easier to keep finances separate.

It's odd though because I have both checkbooks now by DH's choice. He can't control his spending so he has another income flow from some part-time work and that's his money alone. The rest (mine and his) go to bills and any left is open to either of us.

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

We hold everything jointly, unless we cannot for legal reason (401Ks). For those the other is the beneficiary.

We entered the marriage with nothing except each other. We both love, respect and trust the other with our lives and our money. We each have POA just in case and our wills are such that the other gets everything, unless we both die together, then the kids get everything, in trust.

We both feel that having separate accounts would indicate we are not completely in the marriage together.

We both get "spending" money, so there is no control issues with money. It really helps that we are both on the same page WRT saving for the future. We enjoy ourselves but also believe in helping others. We have not trouble talking to each other about money or any other subject.

This is what works for us.

I could have written this myself. It describes our feelings exactly!

 

[eliza61]

You are placing too much emphasis on separate accounts being the reason for your success in marriage.

As for women with joint accounts--if they are blind to the finances while sharing such accounts or blind to their relational issues, then again--the joint account was not the cause of their downfall either.


The whole point is--be on the same page with finances as the spouse, whether it is merged finances or separate.

I was actually trying to point out the ridiculousness of the assumption that people were making that joint account=trust in a marriage.
As a few posters (see page 1) stated that seperate accounts felt like that meant they were not committed to the marriage.

 

[MiniGirl]

Dh and I have several joint accounts and then we each have our own savings and own checking accounts.

Dh's check goes into the joint accounts and we each take out a monthly allowance that we are free to spend as we want. This has worked for us for a lot of years, but I think the main reason it has is because Dh and I have the same attitude towards money. Neither of us really spend a lot, so it hasn't caused any problems. We also both see the money as OURS (eventhough I bring in almost none of it.) I always say dh works hard to bring it into the house, and I work hard to make sure it stays here. LOL!! Dh just got his last paycheck today and even said, "We made $X this year."

Personally, I have seen big problems arise in marriages wherein spouses have joint accounts as well as those in which they have separate accounts. I always felt it had more to do with different spending habits more than anything else. I have friends who had to get separate accounts because one person was a spendthrift and brought down the other person. I've also known those with separate accounts whose spouse has gone into massive debt without the other spouse knowing it, but put the other spouse's name on the credit application making the unknowing spouse responsible for the debt. Yeah..... none of those marriages lasted.

 

[jordansmomma]

DBF & I have seperate accounts. When we get married we will have 3 accounts, our current ones and then a joint one for the household.
He is really anal about money. He knows where every cent goes!! Not that I don't but he has a check register plus he has Quicken or something like that. That just seems like too much of a hassle for me. I prefer to pay online, he likes to write checks. So when we are married he can pay the bills. Until my student loans are paid off only 25% of my pay will go in the account and the other 25% will go to the loans.

 

[mumom95]

We've always had joint accounts. When we first got married we moved across the country so had to open new accounts anyway, it just made sense to make it joint.

I like having joint accounts. I know it has nothing to do with the commitment level of a marriage, but I would feel weird if we had to discuss who pays what bill, who pays for dinner and etc. We are on the same page when it comes to our financial goals. And luckily we have enough money to pay for our needs, and a decent amount of our wants, so when either one of us wants to spend some money we do.

But I know couples who have separate accounts and wouldn't have it any other way. I think it's just a matter of what works best for your family.

 

[supercarrie]

We have a joint account and have since we got engaged and moved in together. Both of us are huge savers, not spenders, and it works for us. We consult each other over any unexpected larger expenses (no set amount, just whatever our "gut" tells us to do) and as we have such a similar philosophy, it works quite well.

If one of us ever changed, and we started disagreeing, we would potentially change the situation. But it works for us now.

I don't think separate v/s joint accounts means one marriage is more stronger or sensible than the other - it seems that most fights about money occur because people have different philosophies about spending, and that would occur whether there is a joint account or not.

 

[-Hope-]

I don't think separate v/s joint accounts means one marriage is more stronger or sensible than the other - it seems that most fights about money occur because people have different philosophies about spending, and that would occur whether there is a joint account or not.

ITA!! I think that motivations for the choice a couple make are more of an indicator to the overall strength of the marriage than the actual choice made. If the motivation is to try avoiding a conversation about money then your in trouble. No matter what you decide it should include a conversation and an agreement between partners.

 

[Silent1CB]

Married over 20 yrs. Joint accounts. I handle all the finances. DH is military, so I also have Durable Power of Attorney for everything for him just in case. He has it for me also. We do not fight about money at all. DH thinks I do a great job. We have no debt & mortgage is paid off.

My elderly dad has everything in his name alone. Its sad. He doesn't trust my mother with even $1. Its always been that way. They fight constantly about money.