Sensitive question for parents of little girls

[MamaBelle4]

How do you know when your little one is ready for her first bra?

My 8 year old is slender, not thin but more of an athletic build. In tight clothes (like her dance costumes or tank tops from last summer) there are little bumps forming. In regular clothes like tee shirts and dresses, it isn't noticable.

She seems so young. I remember a girl in 5th grade was teased for her first bra and the poor thing had definitely developed to the point where it was necessary. I don't want to put her in one too early, but I don't want to wait too long either. Maybe start having her wear camis to get used to the idea?

 

[kimblebee]

I don't remember how old my daughter was but I think she asked me for one, rather than me telling her she needed one.

I think it was around the time she had noticeable bumps in a shirt.

 

[Neesy228]

Just use your best judgement. I wouldn't overthink it. If you feel like she needs something, then I'd recommend starting with the tanks with the built in bra. Most younger girls wear tank tops under shirts and as a layering piece anyway, so she won't stand out. Then you can even move to sports bras later before going to a true bra in a few years.

 

[cabanafrau]

Yes, start with a cami if you feel that's a good solution for the phase she's at.

Not a sensitive question. Totally normal phase of development. If you seem shy or apprehensive about the situation it may make her feel that way and shake her confidence and self image. Treat it as a normal stage of life and that's likely how she'll approach it.

 

[Westcoastwild]

Camis are one idea...dresses or tops with "shelf bra" are another possibility.


But honestly I think I'd wait until she brings up the topic. She will, and probably soon. No need to make her self conscious, and once you start wearing a bra, you wear one for a long time.

 

[danielocha30]

you can do t-shirt as underwear or bralette ( girls sport like bra ), ask your daughter which one she will be comfortable with, yes 8 years seems too young, but now days girls are developing at a quicker pace, I got my DD her first around the same age for the same reasons, she was fine and adjusted really good, she is 10 now and got her first period and I was in shock but prepared, as for my daughter thankfully she wasn't the only one in her class going through the same, she did found support from other friends, the while growing up hit me harder than it did to her, as for now she still wear the sport like ones.

 

[Magpie]

It probably depends on your local culture, but around here it's a complete non-issue. There's no shame in wearing a bra.

I asked my daughter if she wanted one, when she was about your daughter's age and developing noticeable breast buds. She was delighted. She picked out some simple "training bras" (just flat triangles of fabric, designed for little girls).

It's exciting when your breasts start to develop. My daughter took immense pride in this part of her development (though it went a bit slower than she liked... somehow she'd got the idea from her puberty lessons that the breast fairy would appear and endow her overnight).

 

[Mickeynutty]

Trust your instincts. If you have noticed it, please talk w her about wearing a cami or undershirt. In my opinion, to save her from embarrassment, it is better too early than too late.

 

[Colleen27]

My youngest is almost 9 and among her friends it is about 50/50. DD and 2 of the girls in her 3rd grade started wearing camis or bralettes this year. The other 2 don't and don't need it yet. Their uniform shirts are relatively thin and plain white so it is really obvious when they start to need an under layer, and 3rd/4th grade seems to be that point for most.

I can't even remember when my older DD got her first bra... I think she was a bit older, maybe 5th or 6th grade, because in early middle school she was very angsty about not being as developed as her peers (and now she complains about how hard it is to find a good D-cup sports bra!)

 

[tzolkin]

I think that's a normal age for girls to start wearing something (doesn't have to be every day, perhaps only with certain outfits?), so I don't think she will have any issues with feeling like she stands out. Both my daughters were wearing regular underwire bras by late elementary school. I was a C cup by the time I was 10.

 

[Wishing on a star]

No biggie.. Really.....
Just 'pick one up' next time the two of you are out shopping.
Maybe you know where there is a store who has some cute little cami, athletic, type underthings....

I wouldn't worry about any teasing at all...
Girls wear whatever they want, and are okay with it.
And, girls seem to be reaching this stage earlier and earlier.
(maybe that wasn't the case with the girls you know when you were growing up???)

Remember, the bigger a deal you make of it, the bigger a deal SHE will make of it.

It is just clothing... a garment for a little girl... (not a double D underwire)

 

[lovesmurfs]

(and now she complains about how hard it is to find a good D-cup sports bra!)

My DD17 needs a high-impact sports bra that's D-cup as well - we have to go to Dick's. She likes Under Armour ($70 per -- ugh). We were fortunate to find 2 in her size that were marked down about 50% yesterday -- same colors (and not what she'd normally choose), but 50% off is 50% off!

 

[potterfanatic]

I have three pre-teen daughters, so just bought a couple of sports bras and tossed them in their underwear drawers. I figured when they started wearing them we could discuss if they needed a better fit or shape. It worked great.

 

[mjkacmom]

Once there is a bud, there should be some sort of bra. Even my skinny petite girls were wearing camis with shelf bras at that age (60 pounds soaking wet). They were in dance classes with older girls and were very self conscious.

 

[Lilacs4Me]

DD13 was about in 4th or 5th grade when she started wearing one, but she would wear a tank before then if she was wearing a tight shirt.

Most of her friends starting "showing" somewhere between 3rd and 5th grade. Basically 8-10 years old. Nobody thought anything of the girls wearing bras....at least not that I'm aware of.

ETA: I coached a girls sport from the time DD was in 3rd grade on, and once the girls were in about 4th grade, we as coaches told them to wear a tshirt or cami or bra under their uniforms. Nobody batted an eye....it was just normal.

 

[Southernmiss]

How does your DD feel about it? We started noticing changes in DD at about age 9. That's when I bought the American Girl Book "The Care and Keeping of You" and we had a girl talk about changes that she would experience.

Puberty sets in earlier these days with girls and the buds are some of the early signs.

DD started with the cami and athletic bra. She is 15 and wears the same size as I do.

We have a commercial in our state right now about prepaid college plans. They shockingly remind us that at 3rd grade our kids are halfway to college! Time goes so fast and it can be a shock to realize they will experience puberty and body changes when they still seem so young.

 

[QueenIsabella]

If you look in places like Target, they sell what we used to call "training bras" in the girls section, by the socks and underpants. They come as low as ~size 6, have many pretty styles and colors, and aren't meant to provide support so much as coverage. They look more like a fashion accessory. Next time you're out shopping with her, you might want to ask if she'd like some, let her pick out the styles/colors that suit her.

And don't be concerned, although it might "seem" early, your DD is within the normal range. I've spent the last year tutoring in DS11's 5th grade class. There are a few girls in there who have already gotten their period, most could use a bra, and a few whose bodies haven't started changing yet. All are perfectly normal.

 

[Kellydelly]

If you can see her nipples/breast buds through her shirts I would get her a bra/bralette. Target sells some that are nice for that stage, they have a light padding/lining in them but aren't real bras per se.

http://www.target.com/p/hanes-girls-2-pack-bras-pink/-/A-18773653

 

[NAB]

Wow 8 years old is like only grade (?) that is pretty early.

Let her be a kid a bit longer now way she is that developed. What do the other kids in dance do?

I think my daughter was in grade 5 or 6 . We started out with the bralette too.

Soon enough they will have to wear one everyday, it is the first thing to go when I get home. My daughter likes to sleep in hers , she is 17 no thanks.

 

[Magpie]

Wow 8 years old is like only grade (?) that is pretty early.

Let her be a kid a bit longer now way she is that developed. What do the other kids in dance do?

I think my daughter was in grade 5 or 6 . We started out with the bralette too.

Soon enough they will have to wear one everyday, it is the first thing to go when I get home. My daughter likes to sleep in hers , she is 17 no thanks.

There's nothing about a training bra that in any way keeps a kid from being a kid.