SEE!! This is why I DON'T ask my SIL!!

[Fishbone†]

For those of you who were following my "cruise" plight..... where I wanted to give my niece a Disney Cruise for her birthday, and all you parents gave me advice to tell her parents first. It was good advice, I admit that, after asking, I realized that, yes, they would need and want to know ahead of time. So, thank you!

That being said.......I received their permission to give her the cruise....with a re-confirmation from my SIL that she should have another option if she didn't want the cruise. I had planned on that anyway, but how many of you give a gift (any gift) to someone with an alternative gift waiting in the wings, IN CASE the person didn't like the first one. Again, I had planned on that, simply because she's a teenager..... but whatever.
Her birthday isn't for over a month, but we are running into some issues.... she's entering high school, and therefore CAN NOT miss 5 days of school...... apparently missing 5 days of a class constitutes immediate failure of that class.... so, a 7-day isn't an option unless she's off school..... that leaves Christmas break (WAY too expensive for me) and Spring Break (which my SIL said I couldn't have because they wanted it). Now we're looking at a 3-day with a suppliment trip. Blah blah blah....... my DB announces they are taking a trip this year, and next year's Spring Break is free for me...... I don't have her school schedule.... asked SIL several times.... she doesn't have it...... time is ticking...... SO, I decide, before going through all of this to change the trip, I better make sure she would be interested.... I wanted it to be a surprise for her birthday, but what difference does it make if it's a surprise today or in April??? I called her this morning..... told her about it..... she said (rather politely and calmly), that yes she would like that...... we talked..... I discovered she REALLY wanted a 7-day if at all possible..... "you know" she said "we could go on Spring Break" (I haven't checked into that cost yet)..... blah blah blah.... longer story shorter..... I discovered at the end of the conversation that my lovely SIL had already told her about it.......

Okay, here's my frustration: For $2500+, DON'T YOU THINK I HAVE THE RIGHT TO THE SURPRISE??????? It's over, and I can't change it, but I'm SOOOO sad...... that's the second best part of the whole thing (next to the trip itself). She knew it was to be a birthday present....... what was the point??? ARGH!!! The thing is, Britt was the only one with a surprise element possible, as the other 4 girls will have to know now that they will have a trip coming up..... otherwise, we would would have 4 broken little hearts.

*sigh*

 

[Dan Murphy]

{{Hugs}}, Fish. It will be brighter today!!!!! Let me see that smile.

 

[d.kurz]

I think it stinks that SIL told her.

 

[hercamore]

Yes, your SIL shouldn't have let the cat outta the bag!

Those girls are SO lucky to have you for an aunt. Just keep remembering the fun you will have (away from the cold weather here).

Mn kids have tons of days off in Jan and Feb (teacher days, MLK day, Presidents Day). I bet if you get ahold of the next school calendar, you'll find a workable week.

herc.

 

[doxdogy]

Why in the world did she have to go and do that? That was so selfish on her part. So sorry that your surprise was spoiled. Your nieces are very lucky to have you as an aunt.

 

[Kermit]

I'd have my feelings hurt if that happened to me, too. {{{Hugs}}} I would try not to worry too much about it, though. I'm sure your niece still thinks it's a wonderful gift--it's just too bad you didn't get to see her initial excitement.

 

[#1 Disney Fan]

Agreed.... *sigh!* Sorry that your SIL let the surprise out, Heidi. You are a wonderful aunt though, and your neice is a very lucky girl to have such a generous and kind aunt like you. I hope that your trip is filed with tons of magical memories. ~*Hugs*~

 

[Keli]

Your SIL was way outta line in telling your surprise to your dn. I guess the best you can do now is keep the details of the trip quiet so that there is some surprise left for your dn. Has she ever been on a cruise? Does she know what to expect? If not, you should have plenty of opportunities to see her surprise and excitement once you guys get there.

 

[jamsmom]

I am so SORRY that your SIL ruined the surprise. I was very fortunate that my sister did not ruin it when I took my 14 yr old niece Jan 1-5. My sister had to okay it through basketball coach and made sure the coach knew it was a surprise.

My other niece and nephew know that I will take them someday (maybe when thy are 14) But, my 11 year old niece gets to go right before she turn 12


Maybe you can concengtrate on what a great time she wil have and the knowledge that you gave her that.

 

[Kallison]

My SIL has jealousy issues whenever the kids have fun with me, maybe that is the case. At least she didn't try to sour her on the idea. I'm a little confused, are you going this spring break or next year spring break. I work in the middle school and it is very, very difficult for the kids to catch up when they miss school. At least in our district. Can you go in the summer, kind of misses the point of the warm weather element, I know. Have a good time, you are a super Aunt.

 

[nativetxn]

I would be so disappointed. Why in the world would your sil do that? That is just mean if you ask me. She's sort of selfish, huh?

Try not to feel sad, you still have the cruise to look forward to

 

[Whitegloves]

Fishbonet,
Something you may want to check into...here in our school district you can apply for a trip form...it has to be okayed by the principal...it allows the child to take time off for a trip. Quite often the school considers the trip to be educational. High school kids generally have to talk with each instuctor and make arrangements to do work ahead of time or make-up on return.We have gone to Disney during school year many times and gotten approval every time. I can't imagine your school doesn't have something like this. Here's hoping for a good trip for you!
Diane AKA Whitegloves =0)

 

[SonjaB]

UGH, I'm so sorry your SIL ruined the surprise!!!! You're such a great Aunt to do this for your niece, though. Would it be possible to do it in the summer? The older they get, the harder it is for them to miss school, my son is approaching middle school age and it's already gotten tougher.

 

[mom2boys]

Many school districts have websites with calendars posted. Our public school system has this year's, next year's & a tentative 2004-2005 calendar link. Just do a search for the school district.

P.S. Your SIL should have let you surprise your niece.

 

[Fishbone†]

Thanks guys! I'm not mad anymore.... still a little disappointed, but Keli is right, she's never been on a cruise before, and so the whole thing will be beyond her imagination until she experiences it.... for those moments of "surprise", I am grateful!!

Kallison - That may be the problem, but more likely, my SIL thinks that if she wouldn't like something, then my DB won't like it, so she "plays" the idea down.... or as you said "sours" her on the idea.... fortunately, I don't think she could come close to talking Britt out of this. Interestingly enough, she told me that Britt probably wouldn't want to go on the "suppliment" trip with me, and when I told Britt about it... "just in case of a 3-day", she wanted to know if we could go there anyway. I think I can arrange that.

SonjaH - the problem with a summer trip, is that here in Minnesota we get couped up ALL winter long in the cold and ice and snow that it seems a shame to leave our state in the midst of the small amount of warm we get for a HOT place. I just can't fathom a tropical vacation in the summer. I think Spring Break will work..... although, I would prefer skipping town in December or January..... but, you do what you gotta do.

mom2boys - Thank you.... I've tried their website.... nothing yet, but the advantage of telling Britt today, is that she will be pushing her student advisor for a copy of the schedule. Hopefully I will see one soon.

This is going to work out..... my SIL might have gotten the initial reaction, but I get the real-time experience reaction. WE ARE GOING TO HAVE THE BEST TIME EVER!!!!!!!

 

[debster812]

And I'm next, right Fishy†

 

[Serena]

You sil may have stolen the surprise, but you and your neice are going to have so much fun that it won't matter.

 

[Fishbone†]

Yep Deb, you're next..... right after Sadie..... ummmmm, no, that's right after Callie...... well, then there's Kendra...... and you can't forget Chloe...... oh, and then Tamie (she says she has first dibs)..... AND THEN it's you're turn. I guess that makes it about 2010. Will you be packed by then??

 

[Serena]

Now wait a minute, what about me??? LOL

 

[BrerMom]

next year's Spring Break is free for me...... I don't have her school schedule.... asked SIL several times.... she doesn't have it

She may not know. We don't know our schedule for next year yet, not even what day school will start.

That said, I would be so angry with your SIL if I were you. Have you told her how you feel? She can't pretend she didn't know it was a surprise....sounds like she wanted her DD to not get excited. Some people are really worried that if their kid has more fun with a different adult, they may lose the kid's love. Maybe she's insecure???

So sad. Here you try to do something nice and don't get to see the surprised look on her face.