Seating for wedding reception question

[mom2grace]

Thanks for the update! Your attitude is admirable.

 

[martikus]

You are such a better woman that me. But I’m glad you could find the humor (ish) and hoping your son eventually realizes how amazing you both are and how crazy his in-laws are .

And dang karma’s crazy for your DIL and her mom .

 

[BroadwayHermione5]

Thank you for the update!
Sorry to hear about the weather and the covid situation, and as a performer I am telling you you did the right thing by smiling and laughing it off! I still think its ridiculous they forced you to do that (while I am a performer there is no way in hell I would force anything like that-its me and my partners time to enjoy you know what I mean?)

Your attitude is still awesome as when you first posted! Congratulations on another engagement in your family!

 

[EzraSchmidt]

It sounds like reserving tables for your 37 guests would make things smoother and more enjoyable for everyone.

 

[sam_gordon]

The wedding was 2 1/2 years ago. Guessing the seating has been figured out.

 

[disykat]

I can't believe I missed this thread at the time. I even scrolled back through to see if I had responded before and forgotten. This rings so many bells for me as a "mother of the groom." I went along with everything and kept my mouth shut, as I thought was my role as mother of the groom. Now I'm a grandma who isn't allowed to see her grandchild except for very briefly sometime near the holidays. (We live an hour and a half away and I've seen her three times in 18 months. Our son comes to visit us by himself sometimes but isn't "allowed" to bring his daughter without threats of her leaving him.) It's hard when a bride lets her narcissistic traits take over and that becomes the norm for the relationship. (We all have those traits that come out sometimes, so it honestly didn't flag a warning for me at the time. I thought it was just a bride thing since we hadn't seen it before.) Looking back, I feel like my stand back and stay out of it plan bit me in the butt, but the reality is that if a bride can't "see" the groom's family it's probably a harbinger of things to come. I hope the OP isn't in my boat.

 

[sam_gordon]

I can't believe I missed this thread at the time. I even scrolled back through to see if I had responded before and forgotten. This rings so many bells for me as a "mother of the groom." I went along with everything and kept my mouth shut, as I thought was my role as mother of the groom. Now I'm a grandma who isn't allowed to see her grandchild except for very briefly sometime near the holidays. (We live an hour and a half away and I've seen her three times in 18 months. Our son comes to visit us by himself sometimes but isn't "allowed" to bring his daughter without threats of her leaving him.) It's hard when a bride lets her narcissistic traits take over and that becomes the norm for the relationship. (We all have those traits that come out sometimes, so it honestly didn't flag a warning for me at the time. I thought it was a bride thing.) Looking back, I feel like my stand back and stay out of it plan bit me in the butt, but the reality is that if a bride can't "see" the groom's family it's probably a harbinger of things to come. I hope the OP isn't in my boat.

It's hard to decide whether letting kids make their decisions on their own or stepping in and pressing your views is better. Too bad there's no crystal ball to say what the "right" decision is.

 

[disykat]

It's hard to decide whether letting kids make their decisions on their own or stepping in and pressing your views is better. Too bad there's no crystal ball to say what the "right" decision is.

I still think I was right to stand back, but it just didn't end well for me. It didn't occur to me that it would make me invisible. Reality is, had I tried to be more opinionated about their decisions, not only does it go against what I think is right, I also think that would have been even worse for me in the long run.

 

[sam_gordon]

I still think I was right to stand back, but it just didn't end well for me. Reality is, had I tried to be more opinionated about their decisions, not only does it go against what I think is right, I also think that would have been even worse for me in the long run.

DS & his fiancee aren't making decisions we agree with, and they've managed to upset my sister, my mom, and my aunts. We've expressed our concerns, but they're legally adults and we're not paying for it (we'll give them a financial "gift", but that's it). So I'm just hoping the family doesn't fracture.

Don't get me wrong, the decisions they've made aren't "terrible", just not "proper etiquette" and have rubbed some people the wrong way.

 

[tinkerbellandpeterpan]

I still think I was right to stand back, but it just didn't end well for me. Reality is, had I tried to be more opinionated about their decisions, not only does it go against what I think is right, I also think that would have been even worse for me in the long run.

I'm so sorry to hear this. I love my in laws and consider them equals to my parents. I would never put my husband in a position that he would have to sacrifice any relationship with them. I just don't understand people who act like this. I'm so grateful my MIL raised a man with all of the amazing qualities my husband has....if nothing else she deserves respect for that. But I genuinely love her as a person anyway. And my FIL is a gem. I can't imagine keeping them out of our lives or at arms length.

 

[mantysk8coach]

OP…we need an update! Are they still married? Have things settled down or is there still drama with the MIL? How did the other son’s wedding go?

 

[Babs Johnson]

I didn’t read 13 pages of this old thread but I hope you talked your son into dumping the bride, or at least that you decided to boycott this farce.