School shoes for 11 y.o. girl--uniform and age issues

[gk90]

I have to go out in a while to find school shoes for my soon-to-be 11 y.o. DD and I'm wondering about some of the uniform and age issues. The girls in her school are required to wear low-heeled black leather shoes, from K to 5 they have to be lace-ups (basically boy shoes) or strap (Mary Janes)

Now that she's going into 6th grade she has the option to wear a penny loafer type shoe as well. I asked her what she wanted and she said the Mary Janes.

Normally I would be fine with that--she's just a size 3 1/2 or 4 and still looks like a little girl, not an adolescent yet. (of course she's starting to act adolescent, all touchy an difficult--ugh...) But I'm afraid that she's going to get to school and see that many of the girls have "moved up" to penny loafers and ask me to buy her another new pair of shoes right away. I have to say that from what I've seen most of the 6th graders and older don't wear the Mary Janes any more--they're in penny loafers or lace up shoes.

I don't know what to do--any ideas? What would you do? Pressure her to get the penny loafers? Hope that there are no Mary Janes in her size? Look for the lace-up shoes instead?

TIA for any ideas!

 

[powellrj]

My DD is 12 and they are allowed to wear a flat slide on shoe in black. Its almost like a ballet slipper with a small heel in black leather. Is that an option?

 

[liveforthemagic]

I feel your pain. My 10 year old (5th grade) and I have very different taste in shoes. She's also my only girl--so I always have questions like yours, too! Its probably much easier for moms who have older girls.

Here are some options that might work.

1) Buy both styles in her size and let her try them both on at home. Then you and DD and whoever else is in the house can tell her that she looks very grown up in the style you prefer. Maybe have her best friend check them out and give her opinion.

2) Take her to the store and let her try on both pairs---maybe she'll like the older style better there, and save you the time and trouble of returning the Mary Janes.

3) Is there anyway she can wear her tennies a few more days at school while she watches what her friends are wearing? At our school, they don't have to have hard shoes until October. Until then, they can wear tennies every day, but some kids wear their hard shoes. Maybe she'll notice what the other girls are wearing, and decide she likes them better.

4) Or here is my devious answer. Tell her they don't make Mary Janes in her size b/c they are for little kids.

We got DD some really cute shoes at Kohls--they are Candies--which is normally a brand that I think is a little to trendy or advanced for her age group. But these are totally flat little brown shoes--they do have a strap across the toe--but its an updated strap just for decoration--its not the basic thick Mary Jane strap. They really are cute....if you go on line, maybe they have them in black as well.

Its difficult, cause you don't want to teach her to be a follower and not express her own style. But it seems like this age, at least for my DD, is one where they really want to fit in style-wise, and they are starting to notice what their other friends are wearing, how they are doing their hair, etc.

Good luck!

 

[disneyjunkie]

Why not buy one pair of each type? That way she will be able to switch up.

 

[Goofy'slady]

I just bought our 10yr old 5th grader some black Mary Janes from Clark's and she & I both loved 'em. My problem is that although she's in 5th grade clearly her shoes size got skipped to middle school because she's measuring at a 6.5 but we buy her a women's 7.

I hope and pray that she slows down her growth spert because at this rate she and I will be wearing the same size pretty soon.

T.

 

[powellrj]

I just bought our 10yr old 5th grader some black Mary Janes from Clark's and she & I both loved 'em. My problem is that although she's in 5th grade clearly her shoes size got skipped to middle school because she's measuring at a 6.5 but we buy her a women's 7.

I hope and pray that she slows down her growth spert because at this rate she and I will be wearing the same size pretty soon.

T.

My DD who is 12 wears a womens size 9 and hasn't hit her growth spurt yet. Who knows what size she will be wearing!

 

[MonkeyDishwasher]

I'm 24 years old, and I still love a cute Mary Jane style, so ayone who says it's "too young" for any age is mistaken in my book. Do her shoes from last year still fit? You could let her wear those the first day back, let her see what the other kids are wearing, and do an after school shoe run after that day for whichever style she prefers.

I know it's not cool to do the "peer pressure" thing, but at that age, every kid is just trying to fit in, whether adults tell them to be themselves or not. Not the advice they want to hear. If she does her own thing, applaud her on that and encourage those decisions. If she wants what the other kids are wearing, she may actually like the style or just be wanting to fit in. She may also have seen the older kids wearing the "new" style and already decided that she doesn't like it, so she wants to stick with her tried and true style.

 

[hambirg]

I feel your pain! Last year my daughter absolutely had to have a pair of Converse. After a week at school, she sees that everybody is wearing Vans and HAD to have a pair of those.


I say send her to school with what she has now for a week. She can just tell her friends you haven't had time to go shoe shopping yet, but you are going this weekend. She will know by then what it is she wants.

 

[tink_n_pooh]

Why not just have her call all of friends and find out what they are wearing??

 

[stm61]

My DD who is 12 wears a womens size 9 and hasn't hit her growth spurt yet. Who knows what size she will be wearing!

one of my dd's9, in 4th grade, is now in a woman's size 7! I'm 5'8" and wear a size 9 1/2. I wore an 8 1/2 until I was pregnant with her and her sister! Ds almost 15, 10th grade, 5'8" wears a men's 12 1/2, and has NOT had a growth spurt yet! I really, really hope that boy does not grow into his feet lol. Dh is 6'2" and only wears a 10 1/2. Other dd9? At about 52", 57 lbs, she's 4", 10 lbs smaller then her twin and wears a size 3 with room to grow. Funny thing is, both girls wear the same size jeans! Could not figure out how that was possible, given the large size difference, until I stood them next to each other and realized that bigger dd is long-waisted, while smaller dd is all legs. The little one needs the same length as the taller one but the slims are literally falling off of her. I just love clothes shopping these days...

 

[stitchlovestink]

I just bought our 10yr old 5th grader some black Mary Janes from Clark's and she & I both loved 'em. My problem is that although she's in 5th grade clearly her shoes size got skipped to middle school because she's measuring at a 6.5 but we buy her a women's 7.

I hope and pray that she slows down her growth spert because at this rate she and I will be wearing the same size pretty soon.

T.

Don't feel bad, My DD15 wore a size 10 shoe when she was in 5th grade and only 10 years old. I do hope she has stopped growing this summer as she is 6'1" in bare feet. Fortunately, she still wears about the same shoe size. Sometimes, I get her a 10 1/2 and if it's a true dress shoe, I'll get an 11 so she doesn't get toe cramps.

 

[mom2my2gr8kids]

My DD who is 12 wears a womens size 9 and hasn't hit her growth spurt yet. Who knows what size she will be wearing!

My niece who is barely 10 wears a womans size 10!

 

[disneymarie]

I have to go out in a while to find school shoes for my soon-to-be 11 y.o. DD and I'm wondering about some of the uniform and age issues. The girls in her school are required to wear low-heeled black leather shoes, from K to 5 they have to be lace-ups (basically boy shoes) or strap (Mary Janes)

Now that she's going into 6th grade she has the option to wear a penny loafer type shoe as well. I asked her what she wanted and she said the Mary Janes.

Normally I would be fine with that--she's just a size 3 1/2 or 4 and still looks like a little girl, not an adolescent yet. (of course she's starting to act adolescent, all touchy an difficult--ugh...) But I'm afraid that she's going to get to school and see that many of the girls have "moved up" to penny loafers and ask me to buy her another new pair of shoes right away. I have to say that from what I've seen most of the 6th graders and older don't wear the Mary Janes any more--they're in penny loafers or lace up shoes.

I don't know what to do--any ideas? What would you do? Pressure her to get the penny loafers? Hope that there are no Mary Janes in her size? Look for the lace-up shoes instead?

TIA for any ideas!

I went to the Striderite outlet and found great shoes for my DD at that age. Great selection and sizes. They also had KED's sneakers too.

 

[Plantlady]

We encourage our kids to get what they want, and not follow what their friends want.

I think is she wants Mary Janes, get them, compliment her, make her feel great about her decision, and you're done!

But, I have boys, perhaps easier than girls in this particular area. Frankly, I don't even know what Mary Janes look like.

 

[justcruisin]

I agree with the PP, let her get the Mary Janes.

Why encourage her to get what all the other kids are getting? Where does that end ...

If she changes her mind, gently remind her you offered her a choice in shoes and perhaps she can add put the loafers on her Christmas list.

 

[java]

My daughter loves the Born mary janes. (they are a little less little girl to her? more sporty?)
Here's a picture but I got them at the Stride Rite outlet.
http://www.onlineshoes.com/productpage.asp?gen=w&pcid=113187
But I think these are adorable
http://www.shoes.com/Shopping/ProductDetails.aspx?p=EC1006728&pg=5068583

In fact in looking I think I'll get those for me

Oh and I agree with let her pick. Don't feed into being one of the crowd. Let her be an individual!

 

[Cynt]

Let her pick her own shoes like the PP mentioned. Mary janes are a classic shoe they never go out of style just like the penny loafer. Either will be fine. You're making a big deal out of nothing.

 

[jeepgirl30]

I agree with letting her pick the Mary Janes. I think it is great she doesn't want to do what everyone else is doing but wants to do what she likes. Good for her!

I think my DD8 is going to have my tiny baby feet. She is still in a size 13 kids. I remember in HS for cheering I had to have different sneakers because I still couldn't fit the womens sizes! It was so embarassing.

 

[Bama mom to 3]

My DD who is 12 wears a womens size 9 and hasn't hit her growth spurt yet. Who knows what size she will be wearing!

My dd will be 11 next week and she is also in a 9 women's shoe And she hasn't hit her growth spurt either. She definitely gets her foot size from DH's size of the family.