School Car Pool Question

[Christine]

For the first time ever, I'm involved in a school car pool. I'm not sure what the correct way of handling certain situations is. This is for high school.

In the mornings, a parent comes and drives their kid, a neighbor's kid, and my kid to school.

The deal for the afternoons is that either me or my neighbor bring the kids home from school.

BUT...they are all in afterschool activities letting out at various times. My son's activity goes until 5:00, while the other two don't get out until 5:45. My neighbor has been picking up her kid and the morning driver's kid those days. I get my own son since he gets out 45 minutes early.

To throw a wrench in things, the morning driver's kid hurt himself at football yesterday and is now out for season, so he needs to be picked up at 2:30 (my neighbor and I who carpool to work are leaving work at 2:30).

Do we have the responsibility to pick this boy up at 2:30 now (or whenever we can get there) and then go back and get each of our own kids at 5:00 and 5:45 respectively?

What is normally done? I have some ideas.

One of them is, I would like to offer to pay the morning driver for taking our kids and let them do the 2:30 pickup of their son but I'm not sure that's the right thing to do as what is it really getting them?

We have not talked to the other parents yet as this just happened last night. They seem to be very nice, reasonable people so I'm not worried. Just want to do the right thing.

Opinions please.

 

[golfgal]

I would call the parents and find out what they want to do. Just because you carpool doesn't mean it has to be equal all the time. I would also suspect that the injured kid will still go to practice and watch, wouldn't he?

 

[Christine]

I would call the parents and find out what they want to do. Just because you carpool doesn't mean it has to be equal all the time. I would also suspect that the injured kid will still go to practice and watch, wouldn't he?

No, he won't be going to practice. He has basically torn out his knee and he will be dismissed at 2:30 each day and going home (probably to PT). It's a significant injury.

I'm sure we will get more info when we talk to the parents today but the other parent and I wanted to make sure that we offered up something sort of fair. I'm all about the money. I don't really want to make two round trips to the school everyday (within 2 hours of each other).

 

[LuvOrlando]

Couldn't the injured kid go home on the bus for however long he is in a cast then pick up normally again when he is better? I'm assuming 2:30 is the normal time for dismissal.

 

[mjkacmom]

Maybe someone else needs to drive in the morning? I'm involved in countless of carpools, but 1/2 hour is the max for getting there early or waiting for someone.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I don't know, that sounds a bit nutty for me with the pick up times. It is hard for me to see that working out long term. As you know kids will be coming home at various times throughout the yr with this club or whatever pops up.

Does your child need a ride to school by this person? In other words your child has no way to school other than a car ride? If that is the case I would certainly offer money to the driver in the morning.

Does the morning driver need someone to pick up her son? I guess if I were her I would find an alternate way home for my kid since you are unable to be there when school gets out.

I would ask her if it is OK to pay her and then each parent is responsible for getting their own child home. Or honestly, I could see her leaving your car pool since it no longer works out for her and hooking up with someone else with the same schedule.

I am assuming that there is no bus service and that the HS is a significant drive? How long does it take to get to the HS?

 

[Pixieflip]

All the carpools I have ever been in, and that's a lot, were for regular start and end times for the day. If a kid has an activity before or after school, it is that kid's parents' responsibility to get them to or from.

There is no way I'd be making special trips for someone else's kid. Now, if my kid is the one who stays late, than yes, I still have to arrive at regular dismissal and take the others home. But not if they stay late and at all different times. Nope.

Well, if they paid me, maybe.

 

[golfgal]

No, he won't be going to practice. He has basically torn out his knee and he will be dismissed at 2:30 each day and going home (probably to PT). It's a significant injury.

I'm sure we will get more info when we talk to the parents today but the other parent and I wanted to make sure that we offered up something sort of fair. I'm all about the money. I don't really want to make two round trips to the school everyday (within 2 hours of each other).

I would think that if he was going to go to PT vs practice that his parents would expect to pick him up after school to take him to PT. I would not make a special trip to pick him up either, nor would I expect anyone to do that for my child. When DD was still in middle school we got her to golf practice every day (the high school got out earlier then the middle school) but we carpooled on the way home with 2 other families. The thought never crossed my mind to ask them to help get her TO practice.

 

[mom2travel]

In all the carpools we have driven, there are always set start and end times. If anyone needs a ride outside of those times, that child's parents do an extra trip to retrieve their child. With 3 kids sharing the morning drive but all having different end times, I would say split the mornings 3 ways taking turns and each family picks up their own child after school.

For me, carpool is not about money it is about time (although saving gas is always a perk). If someone offered to pay me to drive their child rather than participate in the driving, that wouldn't help me at all.

 

[Christine]

Couldn't the injured kid go home on the bus for however long he is in a cast then pick up normally again when he is better? I'm assuming 2:30 is the normal time for dismissal.

Private school, no bus.

 

[golfgal]

In all the carpools we have driven, there are always set start and end times. If anyone needs a ride outside of those times, that child's parents do an extra trip to retrieve their child. With 3 kids sharing the morning drive but all having different end times, I would say split the mornings 3 ways taking turns and each family picks up their own child after school.

For me, carpool is not about money it is about time (although saving gas is always a perk). If someone offered to pay me to drive their child rather than participate in the driving, that wouldn't help me at all.

Very true. We, well DS18, drove a couple neighbor kids to and from school all last year because he was going anyway. The kids walked over to our house and they all left from here. This year he is in college and one of the mom's from last year's carpool is driving the kids to school. We are not because they can take the bus if they don't get a ride . When the twins get their license they will probably drive to school so they will take this one friend.

 

[Christine]

Maybe someone else needs to drive in the morning? I'm involved in countless of carpools, but 1/2 hour is the max for getting there early or waiting for someone.

No one else is available. Both the other parents and I work. We get to work at 6AM. Morning driving is not an option unless it is an emergency and one of us will take off work. They agreed to do the morning shift, we take care of the afternoon based on the kids having a normal schedule, i.e., when sports are over, my husband will be bringing the kids home everyday at 2:45 p.m.

 

[Christine]

Does your child need a ride to school by this person? In other words your child has no way to school other than a car ride? If that is the case I would certainly offer money to the driver in the morning.

Yes, for the most part. The other option is for my friend/neighbor's husband to go into work late, take the kids to the private middle school they used to attend, have them sit in "before care" for an hour and a half, and then take the private bus service that stops there and takes kids down to the high school. The bus will cost $700. I don't mind paying, I did it last year, but we were both trying to save this man his job (the employer didn't care for the later hours) and we were trying to give the kids a better morning, hence the carpool.

Does the morning driver need someone to pick up her son? I guess if I were her I would find an alternate way home for my kid since you are unable to be there when school gets out.

Probably at 2:45 they would need a ride (they work later hours); however, they can pick up later and the school does offer a free study hall every day until 5:00 p.m. so the boy has somewhere he can sit but I'm sure he doesn't want to do that.

I would ask her if it is OK to pay her and then each parent is responsible for getting their own child home. Or honestly, I could see her leaving your car pool since it no longer works out for her and hooking up with someone else with the same schedule.

This is what I'm thinking and then my neighbor and are fairly screwed.

I am assuming that there is no bus service and that the HS is a significant drive? How long does it take to get to the HS?

There is private bus service. You pay for it (I did last year). The issue wasn't the money it was with my neighbor and I trying to keep the kids from having to get up at 5:00 a.m., being taken to their old middle school to sit and wait for the bus, and then take the bus about 10 miles to their school. My son didn't mind it and I was okay with it but my neighbor was not. Her husband was the one taking the kids up to the middle school to get the bus. I guess it was causing problems for him work-wise.

 

[Christine]

In all the carpools we have driven, there are always set start and end times. If anyone needs a ride outside of those times, that child's parents do an extra trip to retrieve their child. With 3 kids sharing the morning drive but all having different end times, I would say split the mornings 3 ways taking turns and each family picks up their own child after school.

Unfortunately we can't. We CANNOT do a morning drive. That's why this carpool is a little unusual. The morning driver is a constant which is why we want to make sure that they get a fair deal in the afternoon somehow.

 

[Donaldswife]

I would offer the family the money to take your child in the morning. They are still going to have to drive their child every morning anyway. Hopefully they can find a situation that works better for them in the afternoons.

Good luck, I hope you can all work something out!

 

[XYSRUS]

Can the injured kid stay after and do homework/ read? That's what our kids do if a ride isn't available.

 

[Christine]

Can the injured kid stay after and do homework/ read? That's what our kids do if a ride isn't available.

Yes, he can but not sure he wants to stay from 2:30 to 5:00 p.m. That will be his decision I suppose.

 

[mom2travel]

Unfortunately we can't. We CANNOT do a morning drive. That's why this carpool is a little unusual. The morning driver is a constant which is why we want to make sure that they get a fair deal in the afternoon somehow.

Well, maybe if the injured boy needs to go to PT right after school, the parents will need to pick him up anyway. In that case, offering to (temporarily) pay them for gas $ for doing all the morning driving might work. Or you could offer to bring him home at 5 on days when he might need to stay for study hall that he doesn' have an early ride.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Honestly I would pay for the bus service. I know you are trying to avoid that option but it sounds like more trouble than it is worth to me.

Gas money daily for trying to pick up kids multiple times will be expensive and the time aggravation is something I could not take. But that is just me. Plus if you are picking up this kid from school later this will negate paying for a morning drive. Sounds complicated.

Sucks they have to get up at that time to catch the private bus, but at least you will know you don't have to worry about a driver.

I guess sit down with the parents and try and come up with a workable solution first and if you can't work it out, go with the bus service.

 

[Pixieflip]

Sounds like a tough one. I wonder if there are other families that might work out better for you to carpool with. Look for someone who needs what you can offer and who can offer what you need.

For example, I wanted someone who could do the after school run so I could continue working longer at home, so I am willing to do the morning run. I found a neighbor who had a new baby and didn't want to go out so early in the mornings, especially in the winter. Works great for both of us. Then she had another baby a year later, so we are set for the next few years!

Good luck. I hope you find a great solution.