School awards assemblies-love 'em, hate 'em or neutral?

[missypie]

Tis the season for school awards assemblies. At the middle school, parents only attend if they've received a call saying their child is receiving an award. In DS's three years at middle school, he never received an award - not even Student of the Month. (Of course, I, as his mother, thought he should have at least been Student of the Month once, as a kid with Asperger's Syndrome, making As and Bs in all pre-AP and GT classes.) He is child that will be overlooked his entire school career.

Last year, DD got 2 awards. This year, no call, so I guess no awards.

Don't get me wrong...except for Student of the Month, all the middle school awards are for the highest grade in each class, which is very admirable. Is it worth making 29 students feel bad or left out to recognize one student's achievements? Are any of those 29 other kids motivated to work harder next year so that they get the award? I just don't know. And of course, they give them for all classes, so the kids in the pre-AP classes are sitting there thinking that maybe they could have received an award if they had taken the "regular" class.

The choirs give awards at their concerts, that the students vote for (mst valuable, most inspirational, etc.) At the 6th grade level, they are pretty much popularity contests, but by 8th grade, they are pretty legit.

At the dance banquet, there were 6 awards given - again that the girls voted for - and the most popular girl received three of them!

I guess I just don't know about the whole idea of awards assemblies. I think our elementary school has it right. When the school opened, they told the principal (who was a seasoned old broad) that she had to have an annual awards assembly. She said no, she was having a success assembly. Each kid is called up and they get certificates for each thing they have done, but the big emphasis is placed on each student's "Personal Success" (learning the multiplication tables, etc.) It works nicely.

What do you think?

 

[disykat]

I don't like them. I am so thrilled to have my children at different schools this year. My oldest is the kid that wins every award out there - and our last name starts with A so he's first called for everything.

My youngest doesn't win awards. He figured out that if he did something really screwy he could get attention too by going to see the principal. This was a real pattern for us last year, with my oldest in 6th and my younger son in 4th. We never made a big deal about awards and really were never aware there had been a ceremony until the day after when we'd get the call from the principal. Now that my oldest has moved on to junior high - my youngest is in 5th and is coming into his own.

While hopefully my youngest son's misbehavior was a unique reaction to his brother winning awards, I have heard from many parents that they have trouble with their children on awards ceremony day.

I have no problem with a few, well deserved awards. However, IMO, if you start giving awards right and left it starts to be a cause of hard feelings and competition.

 

[floridafam]

This is a tough one.

I know every child is special but I also believe in recognizing accomplishments and hard work. What way is best? I'm not sure.

Do I like awards that are based on kid's voting? No, they are just popularity contests.

 

[NCRedding]

I just I am just the opposite. I hated the elementary school awards where every kid gets an award. In my mind, an award is supposed to be special, not something everyone gets.

DD has gotten awards in middle school for 6th grade, but not for 7th, so I've seen it both ways.

I personally think that academic achievement should be rewarded. The purpose of the award is not to humiliate or embarrass, but to encourage. I know when DD was in 4th, she saw the 5th grade awards and saw our neighbor get one of two awards for the top student. She said, "I want that award next year" and went on to achieve that. I think academic inductions (like Beta Club) should be before the whole school to reward and encourage.

 

[Brianne]

We don't make a big deal out of it here, which I know is something not all parents would agree with. If the kids want the awards, they know how to work towards getting them, but that's entirely up to them. We don't attend the assemblies nor do we give money for grades, etc. It's worked well for us, but every child/family is different.

 

[nkjzmom]

(Of course, I, as his mother, thought he should have at least been Student of the Month once, as a kid with Asperger's Syndrome, making As and Bs in all pre-AP and GT classes.)

He does deserve recognition for his accomplishments...I know it's hard dealing with Asperger's. A good friend of mine took her high school aged daughter out and is homeschooling her. They are both enjoying it so much more.

While the assemblies can be difficult I agree that those who have worked hard and earned awards should be honored. I disagree with everyone getting some kind of award. That could be done in the classroom setting though with the teacher celebrating individual accomplishments.

It comes down to us, as parents, to help our kids see their own strengths and to acknowledge others strengths as well. One DD may not get any awards at the end of the year...but guess what, back in the fall she won 2nd in the science fair. DS may not get top of the class but he was in the Sweet 16 of the school chess tournament. Other DD didn't win Student of the month but was nominated and that means that her teachers saw that talent within her.

I will admit feeling frustrated to hear the same names being called more than once though.

 

[MUFFYCAT]

i never liked the idea of school awards. even the student of the monthi and grammer school does terrific kids. those are usually given to the pta moms and the popular kids

 

[jesszac610]

Just back from my son's special honor awards ceremony and I gotta say I like them!!! This is the 3rd time this year he's gotten straight A's in the 5th grade and I couldn't be prouder of him! I think it also gives the other 5th graders more incentive to work harder, because there were many, many more kids on that stage today than at the last two ceremonies!

 

[soccerchick]

opps -- please delete mods...

 

[soccerchick]

I haven't gotten there yet w/my DD (she's only in Kindergarten) but I'd have to say in elem. and MS I'd be wary. I'm also leery of the "let's celebrate EVERYONE [read 'mediocrity'] mentality I see so much of already, but that's another thread .

At the H.S. level, I think there is some validity. The kids are more mature and do, for a large part, like to celebrate their friends' successes. I also think it's good for the younger kids to see what they can achieve and be rewarded for. Some of these local scholarships give out BIG $$$. I do like the schools who do try to "spread the wealth" and realize that there are many deserving kids. I've seen HSs where one or two kids, who are phenonmenal, take home all the awards while some really good kids do get overlooked. Of course, not all of them fill out those scholarship applications either.

Hmmm, guess that makes me neutral?

PS. I also vote for keeping them short!

 

[jrmasm]

I think academic awards make more sense than attendance awards.

 

[Todd&Copper]

As a kid who received her fair share of awards, I didn't like the assemblies in Jr. High or High where the entire school had to sit through the whole thing for like 20 - 30 kids to accept certificates. I preferred the evening assemblies for family, because every student there was invited to receive something (usually they honored both academics and athletics). I felt like such a geek when the assemblies were for the whole school, but I liked getting the awards.

 

[missypie]

When I was a freshman in HS, the school gave out an award for the "top" student in each course in each grade. One guy in our class won every single freshamn award. I assume he earned them all fair and square, but it ticked off the rest of us "also rans."

 

[disykat]

I agree it can be hard on the recipients as well. As I said before, my son won a slew of them. That's just the kind of kid he is. It was even more noticable because his name was always called first. It got to be a joke at the 6th grade promotion ceremony.

I hope people weren't thinking he only got them because I'm a PTA mom. I would have preferred he didn't win them, because it obviously affected his little brother.

I would prefer they just wrote their names in the school newsletter. That way the kids that are excited about it get their recognition, and the kids who aren't can remain clueless.

Of course, this could just be trauma talking - a delayed reaction for being the recipient of the 9th grade Home Ec award.

 

[hydster]

As a mom of 3 kids in school I hate them! We've had some awards and some years without! I hate seeing the looks in the kids faces (and not just mine) who tried so dang hard to succeed only to be passed up by someone else. I don't think it's fair to "shove it in the face of the other students" but I also think that those that get the award should be praised. Some of the awards come down to a popularity contest between student and teacher! Some of the kids that got awards at my kids school last year were admitted to me as a Kindergarten teacher by their own teachers that they only got them because they were the "less of the 2 evils" which really stinks in my opinion!

In our school we just got a new principal this year and it was great what she came up with. All the kids that got the awards were invited with their parents to a "tea" which included all the recognition they deserved with their parents there and grandparents along with the principal, their teacher and the superintendant but not a slam to all the other children who thought they deserved one too. The kids were named in her weekly newsletter and just a congrats but that was it. All the hoopla surrounding these kids were held with those that actually really "cared" that their child got an award. As a teacher and having kids at the school it was really hard to watch the disappointment on all the kids faces that didn't get recognized.

I also think attendance awards are a joke! My son didn't want to stay home with STREP because he was trying to get the "never missed school award" which to me is so wrong! Someone sends their kid sick and then it gets others sick meanwhile the kid who started it gets the attendance award. Sometimes crap just happens! Give them for academics but not attendance!

Ok rant over!

 

[LVSWL]

I think that for the most part, the kids know who is going to get the honor roll awards. In my son's middle school the kids are very aware of who has the highest average in each class so the are even pretty sure who will be getting best in class for each subject but it is still great to be recognized. To the ones who have a problem with it, too bad. These kids work incredibly hard to make these grades. This is one little assembly on one day for them to feel proud of their accomplishments.

 

[NCRedding]

disykat: I was also the receipient of the 9th grade Home Ec award--which amuses everyone who knows me--so not me!

 

[Saphire]

I really like them. I usually end up all teary and emotional seeing kids I know receiving honors for something. It makes me well up with pride thinking of what these kids accomplish. Our school is so great though, because not all the awards are strictly for academics. There are some for 'most improved' and some for 'hardest worker' (even though grade may not be A), there are sports and music awards also. I love to hear the teacher explain why they gave an award, it is often interesting and heartwarming. There is room in our high school assemblies to honor all kinds of kids who have acheived in many ways, and I like that.

 

[buddy&wooz]

My kids always get honor roll awards, at least, so I've attended some years, if we have nothing better to do! But they don't let you know ahead of time, so unless you know your kid will at least get honor roll, you could show up for nothing. One year a rumor spread that every kid was getting something, and quite a few families showed up where the kid got nothing. It was only a rumor, nothing from the school, so I don't know what could have been done, but those poor kids were so upset (this was 5th grade.)

I'm not a big fan of them- I tell my kids they should do well because of the doors good grades will open for them, not for rewards.