scary birth experience...reassurance??

[ez]

My son is almost 14 months old and I find myself still obsessing and being traumatized over his harrowing birth experience. This is exaggerated because he has been much later in meeting his milestones than my other kids were ( so far still in range though) and I find myself wondering if he could possibly have been negatively affected by the circumstances of his birth.
I was overdue by almost a week and my water broke it had lots of meconium (sp) I went to the hospital and after a few hours of non progression my dr ordered pitocin and an amnio wash. Well my nurse was with another patient and a different nurse came in, and it was her first day!! Anyway when she tried to do the amniowash and pitocin, the babys heartrate immediately tanked to almost nothing. This nurse called for help, no one came and apparently she didnt know what to do. She frantically called for help again, my nurse came in, turned me over on my left side, gave me oxygen and the heartrate came back up, but almost 2 minutes had elapsed. I was shaking like a leaf in a panic and was wisked away for an emergency c-section. Babies apgars were 5 at 1 minute and 9 at 5 minutes. He nursed very well when they gave him to me and all seemed fine. Everyone acted like everything was great and I never asked any questions..(bear in mind, I was recovering form all this and the emergency c section I want in a frame of mind to play 50 questions.)
Sometimes I am convinced everything is fine with my little guy, but times like now, as he is almost 14 months and only takes an isolated step here and there, and is still just babbling, I can't help worry. Also I feel such resentment or something over having an incompetent nurse at a crucial moment in my care. Anyway, I just thought I'd vent here, if anyone has any words of wisdom for me, or a story to share, it would be appreciated.

 

[golfgal]

My twins had a perfectly normal birth and DD didn't walk until she was 15 months (DS was 13 mo's.) and neither of them talked until they were almost 2. They are both straight A students now and no issues. Every child develops and different stages. Not walking at 14 months and just babbling at 14 months is perfectly normal.

DS 1 was a 36 hour labor, had heart rate issues, emergency C-Section, etc. and he walked at 8 months and was talking in full sentences at 18 months. He does just enough in school do slide by and is a challenging kid by anyone's standards.

You can't rate what happened at birth to their development necessarily. Is he crawling, standing on furniture, playing with toys appropriately? How tall/heavy is he? Is his body working on his physical development right now and the rest will come later?

 

[diznygirl]

My friend's baby didn't walk until she was 15 months old - perfectly normal. My DD is 2 and doesn't talk as much as my son at the same age - perfectly normal. Everyone progresses at their own pace.

If you have concerns, you should share them with your pediatrician. I was lucky to have one that liked to order tests because, in his words "that's what insurance is for."

Try not to worry so much and enjoy your baby!

 

[MandM-Mom]

If you are concerned you can get your child screened, this is exactly what we did. DD 18 mths just started walking at 16 mths after a bit of help from physical therapy, she has low tone, now she does physical therapy and speech because the only words she says is Da Da and just starting to say uh-oh. Your county health dept should have info on child developement screenings, we were actually referred through our pediatrician. My dd has no specific delays she is just developing slower than most and the therapy is really helping her along, we are so glad we didn't listen to everyone who said let her do it on her own time, if we did she might not be running around as good as she is now, I don't want to put her any farther behind.

 

[Iott Family]

I totally agree with the previous poster. All children hit their milestones when they are ready. I am on my fourth pregnancy and the only thing guranteed is that they will produce way too many dirty diapers for such small people!!!!!

My first born was a difficult labor and didnt walk until 13months but talked early, by 2 yrs she was having conversations and by 5 she was a reader and still is at age 9 1/2. My second born was a long but much easier delivery and progressed within a few months one way or the other of where they say to expect kids to. Our current baby is 19months and walked at 10 months but is just now starting to turn babble into a word or two. I will have to get back to you on our fourth as he/she is still in utero!

If your concerns are really waying on you I would make an appt with the pediatrician and express your concerns to them. Thats what they make the big $$$ for, to reassure us and care for our younguns'

 

[becka]

DS's heartrate dropped and I ended up with a c-section after pitocin and hours of failure to progress. It was not necessarily an ideal birth situation. DS did not really walk until he was about 15 months old - partly because crawling was just so much faster for him and he took a few hard falls when he was learning that scared him off for a while. His language also seemed to be maybe a few months behind some of the other kids. Within just a few months he was developing a very big vocabulary and was running everywhere. All kids develop at a different pace and there is a wide range of normal.

If you are really concerned then contact the doctor but try not to get too worked up over it - some kids are just slower to start walking but it usually is not an indicator of anything serious.

 

[GEM]

No words of wisdom, but I do want to let you know that I understand totally! My little guy was 12 weeks early and weighed 1lb and 7oz at birth. He spent 83 days in the NICU, the first 27 of those on a ventilator. For the first few weeks, we didn't know if he would be alive from one minute to the next. He was over two weeks old before we could touch him, over a month old before we could hold him. He finally came home weighing only 3lbs and 14oz.

It is very common for preemies his size to have all sorts of ongoing complications - everything from temporary delays to cerebral palsey to vision and hearing problems to eating difficulties to learning disabilites.

I spent the first year of his life looking for any sign that something might be wrong. I obsessed over everything thing he did or didn't do. I was constantly comparing him to other babies his age to see how far behind he was. It was really hard.

All I can tell you is that, now he is 28 months old and I'm not nearly as obsessed or worried now as I was. He sat up and crawled later than most babies, and he didn't walk until about 16 months - but that's all sill within the normal range. He is still very small (about the size of a 12 month old) but he really shows no signs of any problems at all, other than a very slight speech delay for which he gets weekly therapy.

As for the birth experience itself (I had an emergency c-section with only about an hours notice), that has taken me longer to let go of. I felt guilty and just generally traumatized for a long time.

It really does take a long time to get over something like that. I wouldn't worry too much about your little guy yet. Everything you are describing sounds pretty normal to me. Maybe, if it would ease your mind, you could have him evaluated by someone to see if he might benefit from any sort of speech therapy or whatever. I can really say that it's helped Paul a lot!

Best wishes to you all!

 

[Rowena]

You poor thing! Talk about a harrowing experience. Please don't replay it and obsess overly...There's nothing you can do now to change it, other than register a complaint with the hospital (which I think you should do).

Talk to your Ped. if you're worried about your DS, and be frank about all you wrote here.
You are the mom and biggest advocate your child will ever have. Trust yourself.

 

[justhat]

Madison was born 2 weeks early, but also had meconium and they did that amnioinfusion thing too. Her heart rate also dropped a few times during labor, which after her head came out we found out was because of a partially prolapsed cord (stuck between her head and shoulder). They didn't let her cry, carried her face down to the warmer and a team of literally 5-6 pediatricians were working on her. It was very scary to me, especially since she was my 1st child.

She walked at 11.5 months so I didn't really have any concerns about that , but my cousin's baby is 3 months older than Madison and walked a few weeks after her, so she was over 15 months when she first took a step. Now Madison's 18 months old and says about 12 words. A month ago though she said 2 words. I was very concerned at her 15 month check up when she only said mama, but her dr was okay with it for the time. She wasn't even really babbling then, the only sound she made other than mama was 'ba'. Then around 17.5 months she started saying other things. She's still on the low side of vocab for 18 months (from what I've read) but her dr was impressed by the big improvement and said not to worry just yet.

 

[mickeyboat]

Hannah was a premie - born at 34 weeks. My water broke for no known reason at 31 1/2 weeks, and I was hospitalized for 2 1/2 weeks until they induced me. I labored all day with no progression. I asked for something to relax me, and they increased the pitocin while I was resting. Then I was dialated enough for an epidural.

The epidural wore off and I had to really prove it to them that I needed something more. The anesthesiologist fixed that, but then they started to have issues with Hannah's heart rate. They put me on my left side, gave me O2, and inserted a scalp monitor. I pushed for 2 1/2 hours. They were ready to do an episiotomy when she came out. I tell you it seemed like A LONG time before I heard her cry for the first time. We were petrified. She was 4 lbs. 12 oz.

DH cut the cord and we got to see her for a blink of an eye before they wisked her of to the ICN. DH and I broke down in tears. We saw her an hour later. She spent two weeks there with apnea, jaundice and eating problems before we were able to bring her home.

She was somewhat delayed, but within normal ranges on all her milestones. She never crawled, walked at 13 months, talked at around 2 (only "da da" until then). She is skinny for her age but average for her height. She just started K this year and is doing very well.

SO, when Hannah was four months old and I found myself PG, I was certain it would happen again. Hannah's first birthday was 4 days before my due date, so I had her first birthday party almost a month early, to make sure she would get one before all the trauma happened all over again.

Emily was born two days before her due date, after 2 hours of labor, perfectly healthy. She and Hannah are so close in age that they both went to K this year.

Good luck to you!

Denae

 

[Ava83]

I had a horrible labor also..Our only saving grace was our Dr and nurse (our nurse was an angel) I had pitocin due to being Strep B postive to speed up my labor (my water had broken) I had one long, long contraction then stopped, baby's heart was racing, I spiked a fever and off I went for an emergency c-section.

Avawas born screaming, they mentioned they have never seen so much meconium, they were taking syringes of it out of her tummy (suctioning her)
the did her blood oxy levels and they were low..Ava was put in the NICU for 10 days, on oxygen with meconium aspiration (sp)

Now a little over 3 years later she is perfect. no issues with development at all, but at a year old I can tell you I had the same concerns you did at that age...I was worried she did not walk until after her 1st birthday, etc. But when they are so little they develop at their own rate and its was hard for me not to worry, So I really do understand what you are going through.

Peg

 

[mrsltg]

I am sorry that your birth experience was so traumatic. I had one of those, as well, and it was awful. I am still angry about it nearly five years later...

Read "The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth" by Henci Goer. It helped me to relax a good bit and it also educated me tremendously on my rights as a patient.

Good luck!

Erin