Sad news about local teen

[Tiggeroo]

Last week a local hs senior was killed in an auto accident. He was driving a bit too quick on damp roads. My sons knew him slightly and alot of local kids who I work with are upset. Last week's homecoming was postponed due to this. Now my son who is a college freshman is home for the long weekend and was supposed to go back to school this afternoon. During the summer he is a beach lifeguard. He just found out that one of the lifeguards who was good friends with the boy in the accident committed suicide last night. Alot of the guards are here from college due to the long weekend. They went to see the boys parents and just took his younger brother out surfing for the afternoon to get him out of the house for awhile. This is so upsetting. Now instead of one family grieving there are two. This boy was only 19yo. Any thoughts on what I can do for my son. He will need to go back to school today.

 

[mom2boys]

:hugs: So sorry to hear this. Just let your son know he is loved and that you are there for him. You've probably already done that.

 

[mommytotwo]

I agree, just be there for him if he needs to talk.
Be sure that he gets home safely and tell him that you Love him.

 

[dis4me]

 

[Tiggeroo]

the thing is he's already homesick. He was not looking forward to going back to school today. But he needs to go back and won't be able to come back for the services. He's such a good kid. I'm glad they've taken this boy's brother out surfing. I know it won't make him feel better but it will let him think about something else for just a couple hours.

 

[puffkin]

Is there anyway he can stay home for the services? Or come back for them. If he was just an acquantice, I wouldn't worry too much, but if it was a close friend (the second kid) I think it would be important for him to have that closure and attend the services. School is important.....but this is important too. If there is no possible way for him to attend, perhaps you could attend on his behalf. I am sure it would mean a lot to your son to have representation at the services.

They did a really nice thing taking out the younger brother surfing. Speaking from experience, usually the siblings of a deceased person get forgotten. Everyone is so focused on the parents, and the kids have to be strong for their parents that people often forget about them (especially is they are teenagers/young adults).

 

[Rock'n Robin]

Yoiu can give him a lot of hugs and make sure he knows that suicide should NEVER be an option for anyone. A death makes everyone feel bad, but for the second kid to add to it like that by his own choice....it actually makes me a little angry. Now everyone is grieving twice as much.
Make sure the communication stays open, and I agree, if he was close to this second kid he should be able to come back if he chooses--perhaps he can go back to school and inform his professors so he can get his work ahead of time.
Robin M.

 

[ADisneygirl]

As for your son, I would see if he could miss a few days of school. I know how important school is (being a teacher) but he needs time to grieve around his loved ones. I am sure you are telling him how loved he is and how suicide is never the right answer no matter how much pain we feel.

Although suicide is a very selfish act, I would never feel anger toward the person because one must understand that a person contemplating suicide has tunnel vision -- they see only the unbearable pain that they are in and think it will never end. Suicide is an act of impetuous desperation and it is so terrible that this boy could not see past his immediate pain in order to realize that there was a beautiful future still in store for him. It is so sad.

Extra hugs to your son. He needs his family right now.

 

[Blueeyes101817]

i would definitely see if he could miss classes for the services....most professors would probably understand and help him catch up on whatever he missed