RUDE little snowflakes . . .

[PrincessSuzanne]

Really?


How many do you have? Are they perfectly behaved all the time?


Children are impulsive. They act out. It's normal.

Kids have to misbehave in order to have their behavior corrected. I'm sure that that the parents didn't think so say "oh, and never call grandma an idiot". The correction sometimes comes after they do something.

I don't have children, but I do know how to raise them and I would raise them the way I was raised and I was not "perfect" but I was a well behaved child.

"Perfect" was probably not the correct word.

Oi, really?

You mean children who never pat their brother's hair RIGHT after he's asked them not to, just because they know it will annoy? You mean children who never try to lie when you ask them if they've flossed their teeth even ONCE in the past week? You mean kids who aren't ever foolish enough to say to their father's face, "That's stupid!" (And then get their heads bit right off, lol!)

Do you mean kids who wouldn't think it's cool to climb out a window, just because it's on the ground level? Kids who wouldn't say, "I don't have any homework!" when they really mean, "Well... it's not due tomorrow."

How about a toddler running away in a department store? A preschooler trying to steal a cookie, even though he knows it's wrong? What about a 6yo crossing the road alone, when he's been explicitly told he's not allowed? Or a 10yo reading a book under the covers after lights out? Are these all bad kids with negligent parents?

I consider my children very well behaved children. They're generally honest, kind to smaller children, and responsible. They're what everyone calls "nice kids". But they're a long was from being "perfectly well behaved"!

And you know what? I'm glad they're not perfect. I don't know how they'd ever learn to be complete people, if they were never allowed to make mistakes and reap the consequences.

There is a difference in doing things kids do and doing what that kid did. What I have highlighted I don't consider doing bad things, except maybe the crossing the road thing, those are just things kids do. I don't consider them acting out.

As I said above, "perfect" was not the right word. I was just copying what the other poster said, well behaved would have been a better choice.

Suzanne

 

[punkin]

I think it is rude to call children "snowflakes".

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I don't have children, but I do know how to raise them and I would raise them the way I was raised and I was not "perfect" but I was a well behaved child.

"Perfect" was probably not the correct word.

Get back to us after having children, preferably a "spirited" child or two. I thought I had this parenting thing figured out with my first 3 children and then decided to have a 4th. God sure does have a sense of humor! Jake was what I would call a "humbling experience". He's now 10yo and I love him to pieces and he's a joy to be with, but from the age of 1-5 he was a challenge.

And no, I don't think that he'd ever call anyone an idiot, much less yell that to a grandparent. If he did I'd expect whoever heard him to correct him and if I got wind of it he'd be reprimanded and then I'd try to figure out where he was learning that behavior. For all we know the child heard a parent yell that to another driver who had cut them off in traffic. She wouldn't necessarily have the common sense to know that a parent yelling it at someone who couldn't even hear them isn't the same as yelling to her grandmother. No, it's not acceptable, but kids sometimes do things that aren't allowed.

 

[Robinrs]

Impulsive, snowflake, whatever. I and my family was raised to inexplicable revere grandparents. The idea of calling an elder out of their name was not only unforgiveable but inexcuseable.

I'm not surprised on a board that constantly degrades mothers in law. No wonder the children don't respect their grands. And they find EXCUSES for them.

I can feel my Mom slapping me from heaven if I disrespected an elder.

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

Get back to us after having children, preferably a "spirited" child or two. I thought I had this parenting thing figured out with my first 3 children and then decided to have a 4th. God sure does have a sense of humor! Jake was what I would call a "humbling experience". He's now 10yo and I love him to pieces and he's a joy to be with, but from the age of 1-5 he was a challenge.

And no, I don't think that he'd ever call anyone an idiot, much less yell that to a grandparent. If he did I'd expect whoever heard him to correct him and if I got wind of it he'd be reprimanded and then I'd try to figure out where he was learning that behavior. For all we know the child heard a parent yell that to another driver who had cut them off in traffic. She wouldn't necessarily have the common sense to know that a parent yelling it at someone who couldn't even hear them isn't the same as yelling to her grandmother. No, it's not acceptable, but kids sometimes do things that aren't allowed.

I guess God does have a sense of humor, because I can't have children, thank you. Doesn't mean I don't know anything about them and the way I would have raised mine had I been able to have them.

Suzanne

 

[Magpie]

I don't have children, but I do know how to raise them and I would raise them the way I was raised and I was not "perfect" but I was a well behaved child.

"Perfect" was probably not the correct word.




There is a difference in doing things kids do and doing what that kid did. What I have highlighted I don't consider doing bad things, except maybe the crosing the road thing, those are just things kids do. I don't consider them acting out.

As I said above, "perfect" was not the right word.

Suzanne

Actually, unfortunate phrases emerging from a child's mouth IS one of those things kids do, at all ages.

Language is a tricky thing to learn, and kids don't always handle it well. Kids aren't always nice, or moral, either.

My 6yo daughter met her first black child at a jujitsu class. She said to me, "I don't like her, she's ugly!" Boy, did I correct her on that one! Especially since my daughter has a birthmark on her face, and has herself been on the receiving end of that comment from other children. But compassion and empathy aren't inborn, they're learned.

Kids say things they shouldn't. Sometimes they're disrespectful. I love the look my kids get on their faces when their mouths run away with them - it's an expression of, "Oh no, did I just SAY that? Oh boy... I'm in for it now!"

When it happens, we call them on it, and they apologize. And since that's exactly what happened in this case, I'm not sure what the problem is. It sounds like the OPs daughter handled it well.

For that matter - I don't know why it matters that this child didn't attend any of the other days of Vacation Bible School, since drop-ins are evidently welcome. Is the OP trying to imply that the child's not from a "real" Christian family? Certainly her folks weren't just looking for free babysitting, if the grandmother was there to see the child.

 

[Indiana Rose Lee]

So you were perfect, Princess? Must be nice. Most of us don't come under that heading. Thinking that you would be a perfect parent is rather condescending to those who know that no one is. I knew a ton about how perfect I would be before I had children too. The actual practice is much more difficult.

Children are self centered little beings. That is how they survive. This one heard or learned this behavior somewhere and picked a horrible place to practice it. Sad, and a shock to your poor daughter, OP!

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I guess God does have a sense of humor, because I can't have children, thank you. Doesn't mean I don't know anything about them and the way I would have raised mine had I been able to have them.

Suzanne

My best parenting came before I ever had children.

Reminds me of this quote: Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children, and no theories. ~John Wilmot

 

[Robinrs]

Actually, unfortunate phrases emerging from a child's mouth IS one of those things kids do, at all ages.

Language is a tricky thing to learn, and kids don't always handle it well. Kids aren't always nice, or moral, either.

My 6yo daughter met her first black child at a jujitsu class. She said to me, "I don't like her, she's ugly!" Boy, did I correct her on that one! Especially since my daughter has a birthmark on her face, and has herself been on the receiving end of that comment from other children. But compassion and empathy aren't inborn, they're learned.

Kids say things they shouldn't. Sometimes they're disrespectful. I love the look my kids get on their faces when their mouths run away with them - it's an expression of, "Oh no, did I just SAY that? Oh boy... I'm in for it now!"

When it happens, we call them on it, and they apologize. And since that's exactly what happened in this case, I'm not sure what the problem is. It sounds like the OPs daughter handled it well.

For that matter - I don't know why it matters that this child didn't attend any of the other days of Vacation Bible School, since drop-ins are evidently welcome. Is the OP trying to imply that the child's not from a "real" Christian family? Certainly her folks weren't just looking for free babysitting, if the grandmother was there to see the child.

Unfortunate?

You speak like we just met children for the first time.

I've raised my son and 4 nieces and nephews, and 3 cousins. I've been around children my whole life. That was not an UNFORTUNATE statement, that was a learned thought. Calling something or someone UGLY is not the same as asking "what's that on your face?" You expect curiosity from children, NOT nastiness.

Children are the most altruistic people alive. They WANT to love and find good. When they stray they have to know there are consequences. I knew BEFORE I opened my mouth. The problem with some children is they KNOW they won't be chastised so they rumble on like unsupervised whatevers, mainly because "momma" and "poppa" is afraid to teach them how to act. Believe me, my sister was the child from HECK but even she was limited by my parents' rules.

 

[Robinrs]

My 6yo daughter met her first black child at a jujitsu class. She said to me, "I don't like her, she's ugly!" Boy, did I correct her on that one! Especially since my daughter has a birthmark on her face, and has herself been on the receiving end of that comment from other children. But compassion and empathy aren't inborn, they're learned.

I don't agree with the highlighted words, either. I think compassion is inborn in some people, completely absent in others. Both can be taught to be better or worse by the wrong and right people.

 

[Sparx]

She was 6 not 2! A 6 yr old is old enough to know you don't speak to adults like that.

I would guess she is a "precious little snowflake"

Not if she's been taught that you DO speak to adults like that.

 

[Carly_Roach]

Impulsive, snowflake, whatever. I and my family was raised to inexplicable revere grandparents. The idea of calling an elder out of their name was not only unforgiveable but inexcuseable.

I'm not surprised on a board that constantly degrades mothers in law. No wonder the children don't respect their grands. And they find EXCUSES for them.

I can feel my Mom slapping me from heaven if I disrespected an elder.

Exactly. Calling a grandparent a name was grounds for a spanking when I was 6. But things were different in the 60's and 70's.

Unfortunate?

You speak like we just met children for the first time.

I've raised my son and 4 nieces and nephews, and 3 cousins. I've been around children my whole life. That was not an UNFORTUNATE statement, that was a learned thought. Calling something or someone UGLY is not the same as asking "what's that on your face?" You expect curiosity from children, NOT nastiness.

Children are the most altruistic people alive. They WANT to love and find good. When they stray they have to know there are consequences. I knew BEFORE I opened my mouth. The problem with some children is they KNOW they won't be chastised so they rumble on like unsupervised whatevers, mainly because "momma" and "poppa" is afraid to teach them how to act. Believe me, my sister was the child from HECK but even she was limited by my parents' rules.

Exactly. And very likely why we see 30- and 40-somethings today who expect and believe that it's totally natural for children to "act out" and children who can't control themselves. They have no point of reference for understanding that when children had to learn how to control themselves and mind their manners, they did control themselves and mind their manners.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Exactly. And very likely why we see 30- and 40-somethings today who expect and believe that it's totally natural for children to "act out" and children who can't control themselves. They have no point of reference for understanding that when children had to learn how to control themselves and mind their manners, they did control themselves and mind their manners.

But I remember my mother saying the whole, "these days kids are so _____"....and if I'm telling the truth I'm almost 50. More than likely her mother said the same thing.

 

[Carly_Roach]

But I remember my mother saying the whole, "these days kids are so _____"....and if I'm telling the truth I'm almost 50. More than likely her mother said the same thing.

Yes, I feel a bit of that as well. But as far as I can remember, no child (in my Grandmother's day, my mother's day nor in my day) would have dared to race around screaming at the top of their lungs at an adult function where the adults were trying to have a conversation. Especially after being told to take it outside. I see quite a bit of that today where if the parent's attention isn't at least somewhat on the snowflake and what the snowflake is doing ("Look at me, Mom!"), the entire function could be disrupted while parent tries to get said snowflake under control.

In yesteryear, parent would have picked up screaming snowflake, taken screaming snowflake outside, and given screaming snowflake something to scream about right now and something to scream about later, including extra chores on top of your regular chores, no TV for a week and grounded to your bedroom for a week.

And they MEANT it!

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Yes, I feel a bit of that as well. But as far as I can remember, no child (in my Grandmother's day, my mother's day nor in my day) would have dared to race around screaming at the top of their lungs at an adult function where the adults were trying to have a conversation. Especially after being told to take it outside. I see quite a bit of that today where if the parent's attention isn't at least somewhat on the snowflake and what the snowflake is doing ("Look at me, Mom!"), the entire function could be disrupted while parent tries to get said snowflake under control.

In yesteryear, parent would have picked up screaming snowflake, taken screaming snowflake outside, and given screaming snowflake something to scream about right now and something to scream about later, including extra chores on top of your regular chores, no TV for a week and grounded to your bedroom for a week.

And they MEANT it!

I wonder how those spoiled children will parent their own children.

 

[Mkrop]

Yes, you can have perfectly behaved children all the time, it is possible. And I don't know why that is so disturbing, it should be the norm, but doesn't seem to be these days and to me that is unacceptable. And I don't mean those scary stepford wife like kids that just sit with their hands folded and never speak unless spoken to, but children can most certainly behave perfectly.

No, not all children act out, believe it or not.

Suzanne

In what alternative universe do you reside?

My kids are well behave MOST of the time. But they have their moments.

Kids are made to test limits and see what they can get away with.

The KEY is how a parent reacts to the behavior, if we dont model good behavior or correct inappropriate behavior then yes are children will be in trouble.

My guess is this child learned this behavior from somewhere, it may not be the parents but older siblings or neighborhood kids etc

Disrespecting an elder, would not have be allowed growing up and it would not be allowed with my kids.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I'm sure she's just modeling what she's seen at home!

Such as mum calling and calling to dad across the yard and then giving up, throwing up her hands and commenting, "Idiot!" Possibly because he's just done something she was trying to warn him not to do - but a child wouldn't understand the context.

Kids are mimics. And since she wasn't demanding special treatment, I'm not sure I'd consider this "snowflake" behaviour. Just rude.

I'd give her the benefit of the doubt and blame it on ignorance, and possibly bad role modeling. Your daughter did right by calling her on it, and it would have helped if you'd backed her up by saying, "That's right, we shouldn't call people names, especially not when they're people we love. What if your grannie had heard you call her that?"

I agree, plus she was probably embarrassed that she yelled out and didn't get an answer, so it might have been kind of a defense mechanism, too. I know when I've been in a crowd, seen someone I know, called out there name several times only to have them not hear me, it was embarrassing.

But, yeah, I never would have dreamed of doing that when I was a kid! Not the yelling out and certainly not calling my grandma an idiot!

 

[Hannathy]

Yes, I feel a bit of that as well. But as far as I can remember, no child (in my Grandmother's day, my mother's day nor in my day) would have dared to race around screaming at the top of their lungs at an adult function where the adults were trying to have a conversation. Especially after being told to take it outside. I see quite a bit of that today where if the parent's attention isn't at least somewhat on the snowflake and what the snowflake is doing ("Look at me, Mom!"), the entire function could be disrupted while parent tries to get said snowflake under control.

In yesteryear, parent would have picked up screaming snowflake, taken screaming snowflake outside, and given screaming snowflake something to scream about right now and something to scream about later, including extra chores on top of your regular chores, no TV for a week and grounded to your bedroom for a week.

And they MEANT it!

Exactly!!!

And I still stick with a 6 yr old knows that wasn't a nice thing to say. She knows what idiot means. I find it very insulting to children that some of you are saying kids are too dumb to not have the sense to know calling someone an idiot isn't the same as calling them dear. I give kids more credit than that.

I also believe with the poor poster that children can and do know how to behave in public if it is expected and all that is tolerated from the very beginning. My kids have always known that we do not tolerate misbehaving in public. There are no if ands or buts. The example of running in a store, oh yea ask one of my kids what would have happened to them if they tried that malarkey. From pre-school/Sunday school on my kids knew they had better not ever bring home a note or get in trouble for misbehaving there would be no excuses allowed for that.

She knew what she was doing and also knew there would be no repercussions to doing it.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I don't have children, but I do know how to raise them and I would raise them the way I was raised and I was not "perfect" but I was a well behaved child.
"Perfect" was probably not the correct word.




There is a difference in doing things kids do and doing what that kid did. What I have highlighted I don't consider doing bad things, except maybe the crossing the road thing, those are just things kids do. I don't consider them acting out.

As I said above, "perfect" was not the right word. I was just copying what the other poster said, well behaved would have been a better choice.

Suzanne

All children misbehave. Every single one of them. Some more than others. And believe it or not, it often has to do with more than just parenting.

 

[Mkrop]

You know this could be about how the child and the family throw around words as well. Maybe idiot does not hold the same negative connotation in their family.

Some people think the word stupid is the worst word on the planet these days and others are not as worked up about it or it depends on its context and children are not always the best at placing vocabulary in context.