Chapter 10: Water…Water…
Oil…Oil…
Room Service…Room Service…
We were on a mission from God.
Ok, maybe that’s overstating things. But we were on a mission, and we had to get up at 6:00 a.m. to accomplish it. Now that I think of it, we had 2 missions. Crap, let me start again.
We were on two missions from God. The first was to collect these little beauties right here:
That photo is the sole reason we tend to favor the Holiday Inn Express when traveling. Mmmm…cinnamon rolls. So good! And so good for you!
The second mission was to hike to the iconic Delicate Arch, in
Arches National Park.
If you’ve ever seen a photo of Arches National Park, chances are the photo is depicting Delicate Arch. It’s famous and iconic enough to serve as a symbol of the American West. As such, it’s an extremely popular hike for visitors. High season for tourists is summer. And the high temperature on this particular date was forecast to be 104 degrees. Combine all of those factors, and it’s critical to get an early start.
The park entrance is only about a mile north of the town of Moab, so that made for an easy drive. We entered using our annual pass, and then bypassed the visitor center and the overlooks. We even bypassed the obligatory family photo next to the entrance sign (don’t worry, we’ll pick it up later). We stuck to our mission and drove approximately 15 miles through the park to the Wolfe Ranch parking lot, site of the trailhead for Delicate Arch. We arrived there around 7:15 a.m., and the parking lot was already half full. And when I say half full, I mean the entire paved parking area was full. The overflow dirt/gravel parking area was still available.
There’s nothing fancy about this hike. No tricks, no gimmicks, no shortcuts. It’s right there in front of you. One-and-a-half miles, straight up. This photo is from later in the day, but it gives a good clear picture of what lay ahead of us:
See those little dots on the rock face? Those are hikers on the trail. To see Delicate Arch up close, you have to climb that rock wall. That’s all there is to it. There’s no shade, no level spots on the trail to give you a break beyond the first quarter-mile or so.
Essentials: an early start, lots of water/fluids, sunscreen. With the first item out of the way, we loaded up on bottles of water and Gatorade and slathered everyone with sunscreen. Julie, Scotty and David are blessed with the ability to tan, whereas Sarah, Baby Drew and I have pale skin and thus only come in two colors: red and white. Not only that, Drew refuses to wear hats for more than 7 seconds, so we have to basically saturate his head and hair with sunscreen in order to protect him. This means you can have a little fun with his hairstyle.
Oh, did I fail to mention that I’d be carrying 30 lbs. of baby straight up that rock wall? Yep, we sure do know how to vacation. At least one of us looks happy.
So, we started the hike. The first quarter mile is the warm-up. There are a few level areas, and you climb and descend a couple of smaller ridges. You can cover this ground fairly quickly, especially if you’re racing ahead of the kids.
Why would I do that? Well, I have certain responsibilities as an American father. I have to teach my kids how to throw and catch a baseball, for example. I have to teach them how to mow the lawn, change a tire on a car, belch on cue, improve any food with bacon and cheese, fix things with duct tape and/or WD-40, ignore piles of clothing on the floor, and the pull-my-finger trick. Among those responsibilities is the need to teach my kids how to ambush people on a lonely trail. You know, in case bad guys are following you. Or maybe it’s someone you know, and you happen to have a filled-to-the-brim Super Soaker. Those types of situations.
So, I needed to start Drew’s training, and there was no time like the present. We would disappear around a corner, wait for the kids to catch up, and then jump out with fingers blazing. After a few tries, Baby Drew proved to be a natural. He would point his index fingers at his brothers and sister and say, “Pchew, pchew!”
Man, this fatherhood thing is easy.
Sadly, it wasn’t long before we hit The Wall.
We had no choice. We started to climb.
We did the best we could. It didn’t take long before we needed to rest, and out came the water bottles. Looking back, you can see how quickly the elevation changes along the trail:
The best way to make the hike manageable was to break it up into small chunks. We’d set a reasonable goal, saying let’s get to that bush; now let’s get to that rock pile, and so on. That made things seem much easier than looking up and saying: let’s climb THAT.
But climb it we did. Once again, I was extremely proud of my family. It was exhausting, but there were no complaints. They just set to the job and got it done. Even the baby was content to sit back and let me do the work. Imagine that!
When you reach the top of the rock face, the trail narrows. Near the end, you have to walk along a ledge with a not-insignificant drop-off to one side. Julie wasn’t a fan of that and instructed everyone to hug the inside of the wall to our right. The rest of us, naturally, thought it was awesome.
The National Park Service lists the Delicate Arch Trail as a “strenuous” hike, and with good reason. It’s a brutal, relentless climb in desert heat. The ultimate question is: is it worth it?
After all of that work, climbing rock faces and clinging to cliff edges, you turn one final corner. And you’re greeted with this:
I mean…it’s just…
In other words, yes, it’s worth the effort. A thousand times. When you finally reach the end of the trail, Delicate Arch is on display in all of its glory, situated over a natural amphitheater with the distant La Sal Mountains as a backdrop. It’s one of the most jaw-dropping gorgeous sights I’ve ever seen.
The geology of Arches is unique. Plate tectonics created a fold in the earth’s surface at this location which forced a red sandstone layer to the surface and created most of the unique rock formations in the area. This particular sandstone is susceptible to wind and rain, the primary forces of erosion, and the patterns of weather combine with the geology of the rock to form the arch formations. There are over 2,000 documented arches in the National Park alone, more than half of the total number in the world.
Yet when I see a sight like this, I can’t help but think that there’s more to it than just geology and random chance. This looks like it was designed by a master artist to me.
I think we need to try for that elusive family Christmas card photo.
Um, Mr. Photographer? The arch is up there, to the right. We walked a long way to see it, and we’d kind of like to have it in the photo. Thanks.
There, that’s more like it. Oh, but wait—the focus is—
Sigh. Never mind.
As a hiker, you are free to climb along the rocks and wander the edge of the amphitheater, even stand under Delicate Arch itself. Many people were taking advantage of this, and we decided to go for it. Julie wanted no part of wandering the edge of that rock, so she stayed back with Drew while I walked with the big kids. We waited our turn in the makeshift line that formed near the arch.
When our turn came, I sent the kids out. Scotty was nervous, but Sarah held his hand the whole way. How many kids do you think get the chance to do this?
We returned to Julie and kept the photo shoot going. Yes, I know these are a lot of photos of the same arch, but I defy you to do that hike and then keep from firing the shutter from every conceivable angle. I’m only posting a small sample size of the actual number of photos we took.
Julie had wanted to see Arches ever since we got married. It took us 17 years, but we finally got there. See, honey? I do deliver on my promises. Eventually.
I’d say we spent a good half hour up there, enjoying the view (and the water and Gatorade and sitting down). But there was a lot of park left to explore, so eventually we took our last looks at this special place and then started the walk back down the path.
For some reason, the walk seemed much easier this time.
We’d only been hiking down a short while when all of a sudden, there was a commotion. I stopped in my tracks, startled by all the noise. Was there an injury, or an accident? Had we stumbled into a herd of wild animals? What was all that noise?
It was a group of Japanese women, suddenly surrounding me and Baby Drew. They were chattering and laughing and shouting to each other…and taking hundreds of photos of us. My initial read on this situation was that they obviously had never encountered such a devastatingly handsome man as me, and were overcome by my rugged good looks. But another, more accurate read would say they probably rarely encountered blond-haired, blue-eyed babies and thought Drew was the cutest thing ever. Or maybe baby backpacks were rare in Japan. I have no idea. I stood awkwardly and gave kind of a half wave for the photos. Drew sucked on his sippy cup and seemed nonplussed. Whatever that was, please let me know if you ever go to Japan and see products being endorsed by the local celebrities, Blond Angel Baby and Man Beaten With Ugly Stick. I will need to direct my attorney to sue for royalties.
At the bottom of the trail, within that first quarter mile, there’s a side trail you can take to see petroglyphs, or as we like to call it: ancient graffiti. Being the completists we are, we took the side trail. You’re welcome.
All I know is: I make crude drawings of stick figures on a horse on these rocks, and I get arrested. Other people do it, and it’s preserved as a historic treasure. I hate double standards.
Coming Up Next: Well, that was one arch. I think we need to see a few more of the 2,000+ they have here.