Renal Failure end in my kitty...

[zakatak]

Some of you know Nicholas, my balinese, who has been in renal failure since May 2004. We treated him aggresively that summer but he just got worse and worse so we stopped all treatment to let him die. That was Labor Day, 2004. Then, he got better (not his values, just his health). He has been doing well in "hospice" ever since (eating the wrong kind of food, no fluids, etc...).

Well, the last few days, he has been yowling like crazy. I took him into the vet and he has lost 3 lbs (20% of his body weight) and his blood work shows his creatinine at 6.5 and BUN at 85 (normals are .3-2.1 and 10-30 respectively). The vet, who really loves Nicholas, has recommended the E word (which I can't even say). I'm not sure if I can do that... even walk in the door. 17 years is a long time and a lot of history. My Mom, who passed away 14 years ago, who never saw her grandchildren, LOVED Nicholas! How can I let him go?

Everytime we even mention to ds(9) that Nicholas is old, he starts crying. He sleeps with him EVERY night, ON his pillow, waiting for him to come to bed. How will my son ever get to sleep again without talking to Nicholas on his pillow?

Does anyone have any advice as to how to get through this? Because I don't think I can.

Karen

 

[LOVETHATMOUSE]

Jan 7, 2005 we had to put our beloved Buddy to sleep after 18 years of being our baby. He stopped eating suddenly 1.1.05 and a week later he was gone. Vet said it was fatty liver disease due to something catastrophic that was going on in his little body. His levels were way off - nothing could be done. I didn't think I could bring him in at the end b/c I had him longer than my dd who was 9 at the time. She was devastated as well, but knew Buddy's body was no longer working and he needed to be let go. I am so glad that I went in with him and was there at the end - My face was the last thing he saw and he died in my arms. Yes it was hard, and I was a blubbering, sobbing mess, but he looked at me with those little eyes and I SWEAR he was telling me it was alright that he had a great life and will see us when we get up to heaven (Yeah, I'm crying as I type this). What I chose to do might not be right for you, but you can't let him go on in pain. What helped my dd was that we bought one of those stepping stone kits and she made a memorial to Buddy and we placed it over where he is buried in our garden (she was worried that if we ever moved, we would be leaving him behind. I explained that his soul would be enveloped in the stone and if we ever did move, we would be able to take him with us that way - she already said she wants it when she grows up and gets her own place ). She goes out there every now and then to talk to him. Maybe you can do this with your son? My dd didn't live a day in her life w/o Buddy, so it was extra hard when he passed. But she did hold him before we buried him and kissed his head. Oh - one more thing. We planted a perennial bush over him, so it will bloom every year. My heart goes out to you and your family. I know the pain you are in - it's only been a year for us, but it does get better little by little.

 

[Tigger_Magic]

I can only offer this poem which has helped me on several occasions to do what is necessary for a beloved pet.

The Last Battle

If it should be that I grow frail and weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then will you do what must be done,
For this -- the last battle -- can't be won.
You will be sad I understand,
But don't let grief then stay your hand,
For on this day, more than the rest,
Your love and friendship must stand the test.
We have had so many happy years,
You wouldn't want me to suffer so.
When the time comes, please, let me go.
Take me to where to my needs they'll tend,
Only, stay with me till the end
And hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.
I know in time you will agree
It is a kindness you do to me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I have been saved.
Don't grieve that it must be you
Who has to decide this thing to do;
We've been so close -- we two -- these years,
Don't let your heart hold any tears.

-- Unknown

 

[AllyandJack]

I'm so sorry.

My cat was 21 when we had to put her down and I had her since I was 4 years old.

We decided to do it because it became dangerous for her to be in the house alone. She had a stroke or maybe a brain tumor and she couldn't walk straight and would fall all the time. We had horrible visions of her falling down the stairs while we were out and her suffering for hours waiting for us. There was nothing we could do. She had thyroid issues and weighed about 4lbs. That didn't seem to bother her though. Even if we did determine what was wrong, she never would have survived surgery to remove a tumor or chemotherapy. If it was a stroke, there wasn't anything that could be done to make sure she wouldn't hurt herself in a fall. We really were out of options - and my parents would have sold the house to save Patch, but all the money in the world wouldn't have helped.

The night before we took her in, I spent time alone with her. I told her how much I loved her and how much she meant to me. I thanked her for the 21 years she was there for me....a furry reminder that a bad day at school wasn't the end of the world.

It was hard. It still is, but it doesn't consume me anymore. I got a locket at Tiffany's and I have her picture in it. I have pictures of her everywhere. I got her a Leave A Legacy (it says "Patch. Always In Our Hearts"). I think about her a lot and now I'm able to laugh and smile at the memories. I still cry sometimes (like now ).

I got more cats within a month. I missed having a pet around, so I went to the shelter and adopted two. Ally and Jack. I love Al. In fact, it scares me because I dread having to go through that pain again. Jack is cute and lives with my parents. I got 2 more after that, so I have 3 at home with me. Simba and Paddles are fun. I'm not sure how I'll deal with losing Ally.....she's almost 6, so I hope I have lots of time left.

I'm not sure if a new pet is the "answer", but it really helped us to have new little furballs hopping around. They're just so cute.

I'm not sure I have any concrete advice to get through it, but that's my story. I also wanted to let you know that you're not alone. So many people think we should just get over losing a pet because it's "just" an animal. That couldn't be further from the truth.

 

[escape]

Karen,

I'm so sorry you are having to face this. I've been there before with 2 cats. One I let die a natural death. The other had help with the process.

This is such a hard, hard decision to make. My first cat was 21 years old and had been with me through several family tragedies and triumphs. My vet at the time recommended the E word as well. How could I take the life of a devoted family member? I couldn't go through it. I could not let her go. This later proved to be a mistake. The last several hours of her life was agonizing. I vowed I would never let a cat suffer like this again.

My second cat was 14 years old. My new vet, a very loving person, told me when it was time. He waited as long as he could but I knew when he gave me the word, it was time. I had a final day with my Blackie and then I had to take her in. It was one of the hardest days of my life but I felt some comfort in knowing that I saved her from the horrible pain my first cat experienced.

How do you get through it? You just do. One day at a time. It will be hard...but in time your heart begins to heal. Eventually, you might consider getting a new furbaby. There are so many warm hearts waiting at shelters to be adopted. You won't be replacing your sweet Nicholas; you'll be giving another a chance for a good life in his memory.

to you and your family during this difficult time. I'll be thinking about you.

 

[Virgo10]

It is very, very hard to let go of an old and faithful friend. When the Old Cat got sick, he looked at me one day as if he was telling me it was time to let him go. That was 6 years ago and I still miss him.

May you find the strength to do what is right when the time comes. My thoughts are with you.

My faithful friend has gone away to a place... I cannot follow.
To long green grass and rushing brooks and a time just past tomorrow.
He's left a spot here in my heart that's empty and so aching,
That the tears won't stop. They go on and on. I know my heart is breaking.

He was only a stray, an old tom cat, when he found us one fine day.
He was all beat up and nearly starved and I thought he'd run away.
But with food and warmth and a lot of love he made my house his home.
And I thanked God each and everyday that he never more would roam.

But time flies by in the wink of an eye and the autumn of life draws near.
And then even love and the best of care cannot prevent the time you fear.
The Old Cat's gone. He has slipped away ... my cat, my pet, my friend.
But our love goes on and follows you 'til, in Heaven, we meet again.

 

[Breezy_Carol]

When we had to have our dog put down when DD was 5 and DS was 3, the vet loaned us some nice books to share with them I can only remember one, it was called The Tenth Good Thing About Barney by Judith Viorst (I think). Maybe some books would help. It will be sad but a part of life.
And I don't know your beliefs but I believe your cat will be with your Mom and maybe that would be of comfort to you and Nicholas.

to you all.

 

[Mom-to-3]

I volunteer with a Golden Retriever rescue group and have heard so many sad stories... and I still start to cry even though my Comet died in 2/2002.

I offer two bits of advice and a website.

Nicholas knows you love him. That, more than anything else in the world makes him happy.

You need to do what is best at the time, using all the information you have at that point. Don't look back later and say, "What if?" No one is perfect. We make the best decision we can at the time.

www.petloss.com helped me with some good articles. The mushy stuff just made me cry harder (and I was doing enough of that on my own).

{{Hugs}}

 

[Pea-n-Me]

My father and I shared a love of dogs. I've had to put 3 of my dogs to sleep since my father passed (one whom he loved dearly), and I always find it comforting to think of him watching over them for me. I believe your mother will be doing the same.

I understand how difficult it is to part with a beloved pet, especially when you have to make that dreaded decision. If an animal is not in pain or suffering than I'm all for letting them ride out whatever time they have left (heck, my last dog was on wheels, LOL). I don't know cats, but if yowling means that Nicholas is uncomfortable or in pain, then, in the words of one veterinarian who helped me put it in perspective, "he needs you to do this for him". There is never a right time or an easy time, either, but his BUN and creatinine levels are not compatible with life, and if you let him go much longer, he will die a natural death, but it will more than likely be very uncomfortable. If it makes you feel better, I take care of people in the hospital and when they are that ill they usually tell me they don't want to live like that anymore.

Last year when I put my Cody to sleep, the vet made it a lot easier than I'd ever experienced by giving him an intramuscular sedative first, one which they'd give if he were about to have surgery. He fell asleep on the table while we patted him and told him how much we loved him. Once he was asleep, I kissed him, then walked over to the window overlooking the garden and pictured him greeting my father and running at the Rainbow Bridge. When he was gone, it was a relief; in my heart I knew his time had come, and we were simply releasing him from his body which didn't work anymore. I believe I will see them all again someday, and we will have an incredible reunion.

Keeping you in my thoughts. There are so many here who understand, I'm sure you'll get lots of great responses and ideas.

From www.petloss.com

FROM FRIEND TO FRIEND

You're giving me a special gift,
So sorrowfully endowed,
And through these last few cherished days,
Your courage makes me proud.


But really, love is knowing
When your best friend is in pain,
And understanding earthly acts
Will only be in vain.


So looking deep into your eyes,
Beyond, into your soul,
I see in you the magic, that will
Once more make me whole.


The strength that you possess,
Is why I look to you today,
To do this thing that must be done,
For it's the only way.


That strength is why I've followed you,
And chose you as my friend,
And why I've loved you all these years...
My partner 'til the end.


Please, understand just what this gift,
You're giving, means to me,
It gives me back the strength I've lost,
And all my dignity.


You take a stand on my behalf,
For that is what friends do.
And know that what you do is right,
For I believe it too.


So one last time, I breathe your scent,
And through your hand I feel,
The courage that's within you,
To now grant me this appeal.


Cut the leash that holds me here,
Dear friend, and let me run,
Once more a strong and steady dog,
My pain and struggle done.


And don't despair my passing,
For I won't be far away,
Forever here, within your heart,
And memory I'll stay.


I'll be there watching over you,
Your ever faithful friend,
And in your memories I'll run,
...a young dog once again.


In Memory of Asta, Feb. 1997
(c) Karen Clouston

 

[zakatak]

Thank you very much everyone. It will be a tough decision and a tough week. The poems hit home... but it still is a hard decision filled with WHAT IFs.

Thank you.

 

[jacksonsmom]

I am so sorry
It is never easy saying good-bye to an old friend. Just last January I too was faced with making that decision. My cat, Charlie, had a brain tumor. It got to the point where he would fall down when trying to walk.
I know, although it broke my heart, I knew it was time to let him rest.
I wanted to be with him when he took his last breathe, I wanted to be holding him and hearing me tell him how much I loved him when he passed. I didn't want to wake up one morning or come home one evening and found he died alone.

I didn't want to say good-bye but I knew I didn't have a choice, he was going to die, no matter what I did

YES!!! It was the hardest thing to do...walking into the vet's office knowing I will be walking out alone, but I knew Charlie was ready to go, although I tried as long as I could to keep him here...he didn't have much time left. The most I could do for him was to end his suffering while in my arms.

www.petloss.com is a GREAT place for support and to talk about the what ifs! Please check it out. They gave me a lot of support when I made the decision to say good-bye to Charlie.

Also please read The Last Battle. I know someone already wrote it down, that poem really made sense to me when I was struggling with my decision on whether or not to let Charlie go.

As far as your son, continue to talk with him. My son was about 6 yrs old when Charlie died. We did not choose to let him be in the room while Charlie was put to sleep but after Charlie was gone my mother brought him up to the vet clinic and he got to say good-bye to him and kiss/hug him one more time.

I am so sorry. I know what you are going through. Sometimes I still think "what if" but I know deep down Charlie was not the same cat I knew and loved, he was old and tired and ready to rest.

 

[BeNJeNWaFFLe]

I am very sorry you are going through this, but you are not alone. I have lost 4 pets and I am only 22. Two died young because of cancer. It hurt to let them go but it hurt more to see them in pain. I was actually in college, in my dorm room on a weekend when I got the call that my dog had to be put down. I cried for awhile. It may not be the best thing but my family has always gotten a new dog or cat within 1-2 weeks. It kind of helped having a new kitten to take care of. (My mom always says this is the last cat/dog we will have, and then she gets more. She knows she can't live without them.) Your kitty will tell you when it is time. One of my cats now I have had since I was about 7. She has always been my cat and will do anything for me, still does. She is getting old, losing weight, and has arthritis. It is going to hurt bad when she has to go, but I will get through it. So will you. Take many pictures so you will have them to cherish. To me, my pets are not just animals, they are family.

Lots of to you.

 

[LOVETHATMOUSE]

Last year when I put my Cody to sleep, the vet made it a lot easier than I'd ever experienced by giving him an intramuscular sedative first, one which they'd give if he were about to have surgery. He fell asleep on the table while we patted him and told him how much we loved him.

My vet also did this with our Buddy. He just drifted away in a nice slumber in my arms. Never experienced any pain at all. My sister was with me when he passed. She had just put her cat to sleep a few months before (poor Asher got hit by a car, nothing they could do) and warned me that when a cat gets that sedative,their eyes will stay open because it is not like a "real sleep". The best advice she gave me was to close Buddy's eyes after he had that shot (before E) - it made things so much better b/c it was just like he was sleeping. I know that this might seem to be morbid advice and I don't want to hurt or surprise anyone reading this, but it was the BEST advice my sister gave me - you don't want them to pass with their eyes open.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I agree LOVETHATMOUSE. As hard as the process is, that made it easier than seeing the animal struggle as they get the final shot (E). In the future, I will only do it this way.

zakatak, there is a book that was immensely helpful to our family last year when we had to put a brother/sister pair of dogs to sleep within a year of eachother. This was a first experience with the death of beloved pet(s) for my twins who are now 8. It is called Dog Heaven and is written and illustrated by Cynthia Rylant. I believe there is a cat version of the book. It can be found in the children's section of any major bookstore, but to be honest, I liked it even more than my kids did. But the storyline made sense to my kids, so it was good in helping them understand. I also tell our children that our pets will live forever in their hearts.

 

[Disney Ella]

So sorry to hear Nicholas isn't doing well.

 

[taylor1293]

I completely understand your pain. Our 16 year old cat, Randy, just died this past July. His kidney's were failing and we had known for about 6 months. Due to his age, and the recommendation of the vet, we decided not to intervene medically and let things happen naturally.

By July 22nd, he could barely walk and it was as though he wasn't mentally with us any longer. He spent most of his time at the numerous bowls of water we had out for him. I made the call to the vet to set up the appointment to have him euthanized on the coming Monday. After hanging up the phone, I cried and cried. I cried from the guilt of knowing I was taking him in as well as from the pain of knowing that I was soon going to have to say goodbye to our oldest and most loving pet.

Well....on Saturday he really started going downhill. We all slept out on the floor in the living room with him Saturday night. And on Sunday afternoon he died in my husbands arms at home. I'm glad we were with him and we got to say goodbye, but there was a big downside to letting him die this way. It was obvious that in his final minutes that he was in a lot of pain. I will never forget how he moaned and fought the pain. To this day I still feel guilty that I hadn't taken him on on Friday and given him a peaceful passing.

I'm sharing my story to let you know that there are advantages and disadvantages to both methods. And to let you know that you aren't alone in your pain.

As for you child. It will be rough for a while. My 12 year old was okay, but my 5 year old cried for quite some time. And when we opened up our Christmas decorations last month and his stocking was in there, she carried it around and slept with it for days.

I wish you the best during this difficult week.

Teresa

 

[LOVETHATMOUSE]

And when we opened up our Christmas decorations last month and his stocking was in there, she carried it around and slept with it for days.

OMG - this happened to me this Christmas. When I put out the tree skirt, there were spots of fur from the past Christmas. He loved sleeping under it. Well, I cried and cried - that was tough.

 

[Planogirl]

I know how hard this is. Many years ago my beloved Rufus suddenly lost all control of his faculties and didn't seem to know what was going on around him any more. His veterinarian wasn't sure what was wrong with him and treatment didn't help.

We finally made the decision to end it when we realized that he was only getting worse and nothing could be done. He urinated wherever he happened to be standing and could barely walk. He spent most of his time hiding. We didn't want to see him suffer and even through the haze, I think that he was. But it was SO hard!

Strength to you to get you through this. My heart goes out to you.