Relationship weight

[redlight]

I have a new boyfriend, which explains why I haven't been around as much. Things are going great, but I found it difficult to keep off the weight I lost. Any tips?

 

[bumbershoot]

Make time for working out. Perhaps that could be an activity to do together? But if not, still make time for it.

Control what you order when dining out. Don't be "that" girl who only eats lettuce, but do what you were doing to lose the weight.

Those were the big killers when I started dating my now-husband. I just never felt I "had time", and we kept going out to restaurants and I wanted to eat, and we'd sit and talk for 2 hours, and I'd eat every bite...ugh. When we met, we had both lost a bunch of weight, though neither of us was at our goal weight. We both destroyed the efforts we had made, and although we managed to look good at our wedding, we destroyed that again, too. Now we're battling time, our urge to be lazy, and DH is battling the weight gain that goes along with a pituitary tumor he's dealing with AND from a medication he's taking as well. It's been slow for me (I'm 40 now), but harder for him b/c of those things.

Would have been MUCH easier if we'd never let our weights creep up to begin with.

 

[DisTeach1]

My best advice..."save" your eating for when you know you're going out and having fun, etc. I have done this, and have had a stable weight for much of my life.

I eat healthy during the week, at work, at home, breakfast, etc. In fact, I usually eat less than normal during the work day, or I have a diet shake, etc. That way, when my husband and I go out, or I go out with the girls, I know I can "splurge" and eat what I want.

When you're on your own or working, act like you are on a very healthy eating regimen, that way, when you're with your boyfriend, or out with friends, or on vacation, you can splurge.

 

[redlight]

Thanks for the tips. I'm pretty good at making the time to work out (though it's going to be hard with the heatwave this week). The difficult part is saying no to food I don't need, and we like to go out.

 

[kirbsam]

find a creative way to lose weight with your new beau. if you get my drift...

 

[chloelovesdisney]

Go out to eat less, stay in and "exercise" together more.

 

[redlight]

find a creative way to lose weight with your new beau. if you get my drift...

Thanks!

 

[Imzadi]

The difficult part is saying no to food I don't need, and we like to go out.

Congrats on the new boyfriend. When you go out to eat, do you typically share meals? While that's romantic, you might not be ordering the healthiest meals together.

My ex-bf used to love to eat a pint of Haagen-daz. He was a marathon runner, so his metabolism was so high, he actually lost weight even while eating it. Meanwhile, he'd wave a spoonful toward me, and I'd gain a pound just looking at it.

 

[redlight]

We do share meals, so that may be a factor. He's also a good deal bigger than me.

By the way, I lost 30 pounds last year and he doesn't know that I've lost weight. I feel kind of awkward bringing it up.

 

[Imzadi]

Don't feel embarrassed! 30 lbs is something to be proud of!!! Not everyone can do it.

I think you can bring it up gently as you start to order different meals. Mention that you lost 30 lbs, and he is with the new, slimmer you. That there are some things you still love to share with him, but, you might still gain weight back easily, if you don't keep an eye on your eating. Then you might have to go back on a diet again. He doesn't have to know that the food you normally eat IS the diet stuff. (As long as it isn't just a big bowl of salad, as Molly said.)

Still share some stuff, so he doesn't notice a big change, but primarily stick to what you know is better for you. He's going to be around for a while. And you will be spending more time together. So, it's not like you can only eat your diet stuff when he's not around. That's not going to be genuine and authentic for you. He's got to slowly be introduced to you eating your normal stuff.

I've always heard guys tend to have a higher metabolism anyway. So they can eat differently. They generally know that. You can use that excuse.

 

[cassidyh]

As a retired ballerina, I know how tough it can be to want to lose weight and JUST CAN'T! I always seem to yo-yo

Congratulations on 30 pounds so far. That is really amazing!

I know some people can't live without it, but I cut red meat out of my diet and lost 10 pounds like THAT. I feel a lot healthier without the red meat in my diet, and I'm slowly working towards pesco-tarian.

I've also lost some weight recently by drinking reduced fat peanut butter (about 2 tbsp), frozen banana, light vanilla activia, and a splash of milk smoothie for breakfast. It keeps me full throughout the day and it tastes like candy Other smoothies are good, but the peanut butter works the trick to keep you full.

I find it SO hard to work out. I work as a transcriptionist for like 6 hours a day straight, and the last thing I want to do when I get home is work out. I try to take my dog on walks pretty often, but sometimes get lazy and just take him to the dog park to run around while I relax in a chair!!

Really though what helps me work out is work out videos. My mom has Comcast and they have so many things you can do On Demand so you can switch it up and not get bored. I've done walking videos, cardio dance videos, pilates, you name it.

Good luck with your weight loss! You are doing great so far!

 

[MomNeedsVacay]

Make sure you tell him about things you eat and don't eat. Every single one of my friends and family members knows that I don't eat a lot of carbs, so wherever/whatever I eat has to have another option.... For example, yeaterday we went to Chuck E. Cheese w/ the kids...my DH ordered a large pizza, but also got me a plate for the salad bar ...I don't eat pizza.... I won't eat sandwiches from Subway, I won't eat most anything fast food.... limit your empty alcoholic calories.... The most important thing is telling others, so you are more inclined to keep yourself accountable.

 

[mtemm]

for me one of the hardest things was the bread. I love bread, but I never had it with every meal. when dh and I were first together not only did we go out more often, but when we ate in he always had dinner rolls, or worse, this wonderful loaf of italian bread he would bring home from a local bakery. omg, it was heaven on earth. and worth at least 10lbs of extra weight on my end.

I just find that men in general (at least the ones I've been in relationships with) eat far more often and far more food than I need to eat, so recognizing that and drawing those lines early is important.

its funny, but dh and I were separated for a year and I immediately lost a ton of weight. I needed to lose about 25lbs and it was off in a matter of a of months and kept off. some time after we reconciled, it slowly crept back on. I'm just now realizing I need to get back to my no-dh-around eating habits, instead of my with-dh eating habits, while keeping him around.

 

[Imzadi]

I don't eat a lot of carbs,

I won't eat sandwiches from Subway, I won't eat most anything fast food....

I don't eat a lot of carbs either. I still get stuff from Subway though. I tell the guys to "Please, scoop out the bread in the inside." Then I do this scooping motion with my curled up fingers.

The sandwich maker person is always wearing gloves. So they just scoop out the light puffy part of the bread with the tips of their gloved fingers, leaving the crust. It becomes a curved, hollowed out hero that way. If they don't understand, I tell them I like the bread to be more like a thin, pita, instead of all puffy. That they get.

Even after I get the sandwich, (or any sandwich,) I end up pulling away most of the bread as I eat it. Basically there is only enough there so I can actually hold the sandwich without getting my fingers all messy from the sauce or dressing.

At the end, the wrapper has a big pile of shredded bread on it. It looks like I'm about to feed the birds. It's amazing how much bread there still is, even after the insides are scooped out.

I suppose I could have used a fork. I do for the meatball subs. But, some sandwiches, it's better to hold all the insides together to take a bite. That's what the little bit of bread is for - finger holding.

I don't have kids, so I'm not teaching them to be weird with bread. And when I get a new BF, he's just going to have to think this is one of my "cute quirks."

 

[MomNeedsVacay]

I don't eat a lot of carbs either. I still get stuff from Subway though. I tell the guys to "Please, scoop out the bread in the inside." Then I do this scooping motion with my curled up fingers.

The sandwich maker person is always wearing gloves. So they just scoop out the light puffy part of the bread with the tips of their gloved fingers, leaving the crust. It becomes a curved, hollowed out hero that way. If they don't understand, I tell them I like the bread to be more like a thin, pita, instead of all puffy. That they get.

Even after I get the sandwich, (or any sandwich,) I end up pulling away most of the bread as I eat it. Basically there is only enough there so I can actually hold the sandwich without getting my fingers all messy from the sauce or dressing.

At the end, the wrapper has a big pile of shredded bread on it. It looks like I'm about to feed the birds. It's amazing how much bread there still is, even after the insides are scooped out.

I suppose I could have used a fork. I do for the meatball subs. But, some sandwiches, it's better to hold all the insides together to take a bite. That's what the little bit of bread is for - finger holding.

I don't have kids, so I'm not teaching them to be weird with bread. And when I get a new BF, he's just going to have to think this is one of my "cute quirks."

it's funny...my kids know about my quirky eating.... "Mom doesn't eat sugary stuff...."

 

[bumbershoot]

Even after I get the sandwich, (or any sandwich,) I end up pulling away most of the bread as I eat it. Basically there is only enough there so I can actually hold the sandwich without getting my fingers all messy from the sauce or dressing.

At the end, the wrapper has a big pile of shredded bread on it.

I do the same thing! It started when I was pregnant, and for some reason the crust of bread and buns just bugged me. I still do it now, sometimes, completely unconsciously.

I don't go to subway b/c of the ingredients in some of their breads, but I do get veggie burgers at various places, and I usually end up with a pile of "bun crust" on the plate!



The "exercise" mentioned earlier tended to go along with snuggling and eating, so it's never caused much weight loss for me!

 

[busyshrew]

Here's a trick I used all the time:

Before going out for an evening with your beau, eat up a nice big apple. Then chug-a-lug a big glass of cold water or unsweetened cold tea if you need the caffeine to stay awake. (just not a sugar beverage or juice).

The apple & water give you lots of fibre and extra hydration, which really helps cut the hunger pangs. It's healthy, and good for you.

Also try starting any meal out with a bowl of soup, as long as it's not a cream soup. By the time you've eaten an apple, drank a full glass of water, and drank a bowlful of soup, you will only have enough room for a teeny-tiny taste of dessert.

Congratulations, and GOOD FOR YOU. Losing weight is not easy. Keeping it off is even harder!

 

[cassidyh]

Everyone has good tips! One I haven't seen though (forgive me if someone mentioned it!)-- you could always look up healthy recipes online, and next time the BF wants to go out, tell him that you found a great recipe you'd like to try, and would love to stay in and cook for him!!

That is..if you are the cooking type, which I am FAR from! Maybe he loves to cook, though! Cooking is a great thing to do with your man. Luckily mine loves to cook, and he's slowly teaching me.

 

[Imzadi]

Everyone has good tips! One I haven't seen though (forgive me if someone mentioned it!)-- you could always look up healthy recipes online,.

There is actually a book called, "Eat this, Not that." It talks about healthier restaurant & fast food choices when eating out. It lists actual restaurants and items. Some of the stuff we would think is healthier actually has hidden fats & sugars, and the dish we wouldn't have thought to pick turned out to be better.

It's not ideal, but if one is eating out a lot, it may help.

 

[redlight]

for me one of the hardest things was the bread. I love bread, but I never had it with every meal. when dh and I were first together not only did we go out more often, but when we ate in he always had dinner rolls, or worse, this wonderful loaf of italian bread he would bring home from a local bakery. omg, it was heaven on earth. and worth at least 10lbs of extra weight on my end.

I just find that men in general (at least the ones I've been in relationships with) eat far more often and far more food than I need to eat, so recognizing that and drawing those lines early is important.

its funny, but dh and I were separated for a year and I immediately lost a ton of weight. I needed to lose about 25lbs and it was off in a matter of a of months and kept off. some time after we reconciled, it slowly crept back on. I'm just now realizing I need to get back to my no-dh-around eating habits, instead of my with-dh eating habits, while keeping him around.

I love bread too, and yes, that's one of the foods that I cut back on when I was losing weight. I didn't avoid any food, but was strict with portion sizes. I need to go back to doing that. I often will eat restaurant bread, and that surely puts on the pounds.

I had a difficult breakup in 2008, and in the aftermath gained weight from emotional eating.