relationship question

[pearlieq]

Affections can wax and wane. That's what the vows are for.

They make the difference between just being in a relationship where you walk away when things aren't going well, and a marriage where you stay and fight. I am, of course, speaking of situations like the OP describes, not situations where things like abuse, infidelity, and addictions are a factor.

 

[brittsmum1998]

I will always "love" my husband BUT there are times I don't "like" him. There is no time limit on that.

I don't like the "falling in love" phrase either.

 

[Carly_Roach]

Something I read describes love the best for me:

In love = you want that person because of how he/she makes you feel.
Love = you want what's best for that person, even if it isn't you.

 

[Hemlock]

I once heard that the key to a lasting marriage is to not fall out of love with your spouse at the same time as they have fallen out of love with you. I believe that it goes in cycles.

well said. Hope you don't mind, but I'm going to use this one.

 

[happygirl]

Thanks again everyone I truly appreciate everyone answers This is so stressful for me. I'm the one that has fallen out of love with my hubby, I hope that we can work it out.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

My take - marriage isn't about love - it is about hard work and commitment. When the hard work and commitment are there, so is the feeling of appreciation and trust. When it isn't...

Too many people think that love is some magical spell that will bind them together for life. That is complete bunk. Love is what you feel when everything is going well. Those things that you feel when things are not going well are just as natural, but they don't mean more or less than those feelings of love. They are a sign that you need to get back to work on that commitment that you made.

I have what I consider to be the happiest marriage of all those that I have encountered. There are many times that I feel something other than love for my wife, but my commitment to her does not ebb and flow with those emotions. My commitment is based on 20 years of trust and a sincere appreciation for everything that she is and does. I don't need to feel an overwhelming love for her day in and day out to know that she is the best thing that ever happened to me. On my worst day, that remains abundantly clear.

 

[Buckalew11]

From personal experience (down to "I want out!") I can say, "yes, you can". And it takes a positive outlook and a DECISION to keep your vows and commitment.

Make the decision and act upon it. But the Fireproof challenge book and focus on something new to improve your relationship every single day. It is WORTH it and your kids will be grateful for it. If you pray, pray about it--tell God you feel this way and ask for help. I'm here to tell you, it can work. I didn't have the Love Dare book but those were the types of things I had to do to bring that love back around.

Good luck. It will be energy well spent.

 

[lovemygoofy]

Thanks again everyone I truly appreciate everyone answers This is so stressful for me. I'm the one that has fallen out of love with my hubby, I hope that we can work it out.

Check out the book "Five Languages of Love" by Gary Chapman. It really helped our relationship and understanding each other give and receive love.

 

[happygirl]

Check out the book "Five Languages of Love" by Gary Chapman. It really helped our relationship and understanding each other give and receive love.

Thanks, I really need to do this. I also think the PP who mention the fireproof thing is a great idea as well