Relationship advice needed for a friend - marital related

[Hillbeans]

My very close friend just found out that her husband of 2 years has been seeing someone else. Unfortunately after she confronted him (she found e-mail messages and called him at work) he says he doesn't want to be married anymore and hasn't been happy for most of the marriage.

They do not have kids, and they own a home and two cars.

What advice should I give her besides the obvious? She has e-mail proof of the affair however he does not want to work on the marriage at all and has just said some really horrible things to her earlier today. Should she hire a lawyer? She has her own money and I told her NOT to leave the house that he should be the one to leave. Anything anyone can share would really be appreciated.
Thanks.

 

[marybet]

You've already given her the best advice, get a lawyer and don't leave the house. If they have joint bank accounts she might want to withdraw as much money as she can, before he does. She should do all she can to protect her financial interests.

 

[j's m]

Wow, that's sounds like what happened to me many years ago, except then there was no e-mail.

I agree with the advice, don't leave, take all the money (they can sort it out later) and also save any e-mails to girlfriend, phone/cell bills etc. She might not need them for the divorce, but it always helps to have the info on file.

Once they cheat, you can never trust really trust again. My ex H did the same thing again, married the girlfriend and then cheated on her.

Wish her luck from me.

 

[Tiggeroo]

There are no kids it's only two years get rid of the bum. But for now keep her mouth shut. Act like everything is ok. Take the money out of the bank account, remove his name from charge cards, hire a lawyer, etc. Then with the lawyer see if she can get him to leave. Hopefully she can buy him out of the house but if not it's just her. She should be able to find a place to stay.

 

[Hillbeans]

Thanks everyone. I do hope I can convince her to get the ball rolling and not be a doormat to this person. I can't believe last week I thought this guy was one of the nicest guys around and now I have lost complete and utter respect for this person for not only cheating on his wife, but for lying about it and then telling my friend that he's not the marrying kind and for putting her down repeatedly with her attempts to go to counseling.

It makes me sad to see my friends split up, just very sad.

What made it worse was that it was done all via text messages - if you can believe someone you loved for a long time could sink that low - he's a coward.