Registering for gift cards only... what do you think?

[cseca]

OK, I know this is a hot button issue for some people.
Where I come from people set up a bank acct for guests to transfer $ into for presents... instead of giving people random presents (we don't have registry... )... I know... what a concept huh?
I thought that was a much better way for people to give IF they would like to give.
BUT I understand that's not an option here... and that's ok.

However, since both DF and I have pretty much all the necessities and we don't want to add clutter to the house we don't really have anything to register for. So is it OK to just register for gift cards?
Or is that another no-no that I don't know about?

TIA!

 

[Pomlover2586]

Where DO you come from? Cuz i'm moving LOL

 

[BaBeeCee14]

I say why not? Go for it! I will have been living with DF for about 3 years by the time we are married and will have everything we already need. Besides, who wants to lug all those gifts around with them. I think giftcards are a great idea.

 

[Ember]

So long as you include no information about gifts in your invitations, I think it's okay to register for anything you like or simply to tell people (only when they ask, of course) that you're saving for ____ to give them the hint you would prefer cash/gift cards.

Of course, this is my biggest pet peeve regarding weddings - people who invite the presents they're expecting to attend their wedding... I will either decline the invite outright, or bring an engraved toaster (by Toastmaster, because those don't last a week). If I EVER received a bank account number with the expectation that I transfer money into it without my specific request of such, I would disown the couple involved in every way possible and be sure that they knew I thought of them.

 

[turtle51]

Why not do a honeymoon registry. Your guests can give you things towards your honeymoon. You make of list of all the things you would like to do and people pick what they would like to pay for. It is more common nowadays for people to live together before hand and not need very much. This way people can see in a sense where there money is going.

 

[cseca]

Thanks everyone...

I know about the ettiquette of not putting registry information in the invites. That's not the problem. We actually prefer to NOT register at all, but I don't want to have random gifts by not registering either... really we're not expecting any presents of any kind. I'm just glad that people make the effort to go to Disney for our wedding.

oh well... I'm going to go for the gift card ideas (especially from disney honeymoon registry... ). I just hope people don't get offended by it.
I guess if they get offended, they can always not give anything...

 

[Mermaid_Ariel]

This is our dilemma, too. We've been living together for a while now so we really don't -need- anything per se. I already told my Mom that I would rather nobody give anything at all since I'm expecting our immediate family to fly down and stay for our wedding. But, I guess people will probably want to anyway. I just don't want "random" gifts,

I would much prefer cash for "big" things we want to save up for. A new bedroom set, etc. I just don't know if that's appropriate to say when people ask where we registered (which I'm not planning on registering anywhere to give the hint)

 

[sajilunni]

When I got married 9 years ago, I hadn't wanted to register at all, because in our culture (Indian) gifts from guests aren't a must. I'm uncomfortable with gift giving, because I don't want anyone (especially our working class relatives) to feel obligated to spend money in order to come to our event. We only registered for a few practical things we needed. I'm just not a fine china kind of girl. However, I got ELEVEN crystal vases. And don't let me even start on all the swarovski animals, napkin rings and home decor I got. Our parents upper class friends wanted us to have the kind of home that they currently have, rather than thinking of what place in life we were at back then. I appreciate the thoughts, but it ended up causing more of a hassle than if they had given nothing at all.

In the last few years I've received three wedding invitations that included a small card that said something like "Our honored guests, nothing would make us happier than your presence on the most special day of our lives. Absolutely no gift is necessary! But if you do desire to honor us with a gift, may we respectfully request a monetary contribution so that we may fufill our dream of buying a home to start our life together."

I thought that was was a very classy and respectful way to ask for cash without seeming money-grubbing, because they keep the option open for not giving a gift at all with no hard feelings. I've been recommending it to my young relatives getting married, so they are not confined to the products carried by a certain store, and can decorate their homes in their own style.

Jil

 

[Ember]

No one should feel bad for not needing more stuff. And there is no etiquette surrounding a personal preference for what you'd (ideally) like to receive. So no worries there. However, no matter what you do, people still have the choice of what they would like to get you - be it the desired and registered for gift card or a ridiculously ugly lamp. Gifts are chosen by the giver, not the recipient. That said, most people give a gift to make the receiver happy and will want to know what you'd really like. And it's perfectly fine to tell them: "We really aren't expecting anything at all, but we are registered at ____." I'm sorry if I seemed harsh about the gift information in an invitation thing, I just really can't stand it when people are so greedy as to presume to direct people to give them gifts/cash. There is simply no polite way to tell someone how they should spend their money on the gift one is so sure they're going to receive.

I hope everything works out! It's delightfully refreshing to hear someone say they really don't want gifts, but rather want the people they love to be with them! If more people thought less about gifts and more about the meaning of the day and the person they love, perhaps more marriages would last.

 

[Mermaid_Ariel]

I hope everything works out! It's delightfully refreshing to hear someone say they really don't want gifts, but rather want the people they love to be with them! If more people thought less about gifts and more about the meaning of the day and the person they love, perhaps more marriages would last.

I don't think it was harsh at all. I totally agree with you. I honestly and truly feel that I don't want anyone to get us anything at all. I really do feel so deeply honored that everyone wants to spend this mini-vacation with us in Disney. It reminds me so much of all the happy memories I had as a child taking "family vacations" and we haven't done something like that since I was very young.

It's just me personally that I'd still like to gift the couple if it were immediate family. I know the gift is about giving what you'd like the couple to receive - but I guess I want to be a good gift giver. Eleven vases? Yikes!! LOL

I just dunno if I should register so people have the option to either give or not, or give what they want to. I don't know if it's presumptuous of me to not register so that if somebody does ask that I would reply that we haven't registered anywhere. I don't want that to imply that we expect money or is it rude to not give the option of a gift? Ugh! LOL