Regional Differences

[punkin]

The "Miss Firstname" thing is standard around here. I know one person who doesn't like it because her name is June and she thinks "Miss June" sounds like she should be in Playboy.

I still remember having my car fixed in North Carolina and the mechanic called me Miss Firstname. I'd never heard that before.

 

[Liberty Belle]

that's funny!

it's standard here, too .. I just meant I hear it mostly at church by the preschool set. My kids are older (elementary & high school) and all their friends call me Mrs. Lastname. I'm also Mrs. Lastname when I'm volunteering at school. I don't love it because I don't love my name. I never have. LOL

a friend of mine, whenever she can't or doesn't know someone's first name, she calls them "Miss Ma'am", which I guess would break a multitude of rules in other parts of the country

I don't like the Miss Firstname thing at all. I prefer Ms/Mrs. Lastname or just Firstname (when appropriate). Miss Firstname almost sounds condescending. Like, you're not important enough to call Ms. Lastname, so I'll call you Miss Firstname in a kind of false respect, to stroke your ego.

I KNOW that is not how it's intended 99% of the time and I would never, ever say anything to anyone who called me Miss Firstname, but that's just the way it feels to me.

 

[tlbwriter]

I don't like the Miss Firstname thing at all. I prefer Ms/Mrs. Lastname or just Firstname (when appropriate). Miss Firstname almost sounds condescending. Like, you're not important enough to call Ms. Lastname, so I'll call you Miss Firstname in a kind of false respect, to stroke your ego.

I KNOW that is not how it's intended 99% of the time and I would never, ever say anything to anyone who called me Miss Firstname, but that's just the way it feels to me.

I think it's meant to denote that I am friendly enough with you to know your first name, but I am young enough that it would be disrespectful to use it on its own. I like it, because it feels weird when young kids either call me Firstname or Mrs. Lastname. (Actually, when they were really young, they just called me "DD's Mom," and that's okay too. )

 

[Michelle67]

that's funny!

it's standard here, too .. I just meant I hear it mostly at church by the preschool set. My kids are older (elementary & high school) and all their friends call me Mrs. Lastname. I'm also Mrs. Lastname when I'm volunteering at school. I don't love it because I don't love my name. I never have. LOL

a friend of mine, whenever she can't or doesn't know someone's first name, she calls them "Miss Ma'am", which I guess would break a multitude of rules in other parts of the country

I have a friend who does that too!

The Miss Firstname thing is common here mostly among very young children. My sons preschool teachers were referred to that way, and my daughter's Girl Scout leaders were when they girls were in Daisies and Brownies. Beyond that they called them by their first names only. That is not taken as a sign of disrespect here so long as the child knows the adult "well," or even if they just met the adult, so long as the adult introduced themselves that way. The kids normally follow the lead of the adult on that, whether calling them by first name, Miss Firstname, or Mrs. Lastname. Mrs. Lastname is almost exclusively reserved for teachers at school or church.

I also wonder, whether it is really "regional" or not...how many here refer to people to their face as Aunt A, Uncle B, Cousin D, etc as adults? Very few people that I know do that. Most will say "my Aunt A" when talking about them, but drop the "Aunt" when talking to them. I have one niece from NJ that calls me "Aunt Michelle" (she's in her 30s) and it always strikes me kinda funny. I also have an elderly cousin from Alabama who will call and say, "This is Cousin June." Also strikes me funny.

And one more: I had a coworker who referred to his parents by their first names. It seemed odd and disrespectful to the rest of us. Someone asked him about it one day and he said that his parents are from Norway, and they do not find it disrespectful at all. (According to him, I claim no knowledge about this at all) He said that to them it is odd for an adult to say "Mama" or "Dad," that is only expected from children. If I referred to my father by his first name, I think he'd come unglued.

 

[JVL1018]

I have a friend who does that too!

The Miss Firstname thing is common here mostly among very young children. My sons preschool teachers were referred to that way, and my daughter's Girl Scout leaders were when they girls were in Daisies and Brownies. Beyond that they called them by their first names only. That is not taken as a sign of disrespect here so long as the child knows the adult "well," or even if they just met the adult, so long as the adult introduced themselves that way. The kids normally follow the lead of the adult on that, whether calling them by first name, Miss Firstname, or Mrs. Lastname. Mrs. Lastname is almost exclusively reserved for teachers at school or church.

I also wonder, whether it is really "regional" or not...how many here refer to people to their face as Aunt A, Uncle B, Cousin D, etc as adults? Very few people that I know do that. Most will say "my Aunt A" when talking about them, but drop the "Aunt" when talking to them. I have one niece from NJ that calls me "Aunt Michelle" (she's in her 30s) and it always strikes me kinda funny. I also have an elderly cousin from Alabama who will call and say, "This is Cousin June." Also strikes me funny.

And one more: I had a coworker who referred to his parents by their first names. It seemed odd and disrespectful to the rest of us. Someone asked him about it one day and he said that his parents are from Norway, and they do not find it disrespectful at all. (According to him, I claim no knowledge about this at all) He said that to them it is odd for an adult to say "Mama" or "Dad," that is only expected from children. If I referred to my father by his first name, I think he'd come unglued.

I have never in my life called my cousins, Cousin A, I don't refer to them that way, nor do i call them that to their face. I will say: My cousin, Dawn..
OTOH I can't imagine not using Aunt or Uncle in front of my aunt or uncle's names.
My mom dropped the aunt and uncle when talking to my grandma's brothers and sisters though. Not sure at what age she stopped doing it, but I would feel awkward.

As for calling my parents by their first names, I would never ever, and if my children tried that I would find it incredibly disrespectful and I would not be answering them. Then can call me Mom, Ma, Mama, Mommy. That's it.

 

[LilyWDW]

I don't like the Miss Firstname thing at all. I prefer Ms/Mrs. Lastname or just Firstname (when appropriate). Miss Firstname almost sounds condescending. Like, you're not important enough to call Ms. Lastname, so I'll call you Miss Firstname in a kind of false respect, to stroke your ego.

I KNOW that is not how it's intended 99% of the time and I would never, ever say anything to anyone who called me Miss Firstname, but that's just the way it feels to me.

I see it as being respectful. To me, it's sort of that in between area where I am too old for you just to call me by my first name... but I am not in enough of a position of authority to be called Ms. Lastname (or old enough!). So, Miss. Firstname seems to be a good compromise between the two (to me).

 

[golfgal]

I see it as being respectful. To me, it's sort of that in between area where I am too old for you just to call me by my first name... but I am not in enough of a position of authority to be called Ms. Lastname (or old enough!). So, Miss. Firstname seems to be a good compromise between the two (to me).

Again, it's more of a southern thing. I think it is incredibly cute for a little 3 year old to call their teacher "Miss Mary" though-especially since they are almost always in love with their preschool teachers and the inflection in their voices is so dang cute.

 

[design_mom]

I also wonder, whether it is really "regional" or not...how many here refer to people to their face as Aunt A, Uncle B, Cousin D, etc as adults? Very few people that I know do that. Most will say "my Aunt A" when talking about them, but drop the "Aunt" when talking to them. I have one niece from NJ that calls me "Aunt Michelle" (she's in her 30s) and it always strikes me kinda funny. I also have an elderly cousin from Alabama who will call and say, "This is Cousin June." Also strikes me funny.

I am almost 40 and I refer to all of my aunts and uncles as "Aunt ___" or "Uncle ___." I'm in Ohio. My husband's family (St. Louis, MO) does the same. For what it's worth, he calls my aunts/uncles "Aunt/Uncle ___" and I call his the same way. As in, "Aunt Jan, do you need help with that?"

My mother is nearly 70 and refers to her one surviving aunt at "Aunt Olive" (she's 93), and that's what I call her, too. Aunt Olive's daughter is "Cousin Judy" although I generally refer to my own generation of cousins by first name (without Cousin in front.)

As far as calling adults Mrs. Lastname or Ms. Firstname: My kids generally call their friends' parents Mrs. Lastname (although I'm still working on it with my 7yo who likes to call them "Mr. Abby's-dad" and "Mrs. Jimmy's-mom" etc.) However, if the adult introduces themselves to the child with first name then they are allowed to use Ms. Firstname/Mr. Firstname (our next door neighbors are Ms. Linda and Mr. Dave). If Dave and Linda told me that they did not like being called Ms./Mr. Firstname, then I would allow my children to call them what they wish to be called. However, I think Ms./Mr. seems more respectful than children using first names. (When I was a child, I don't remember referring to *any* adult by first name -- at least, not without a prefix like Aunt __, or Uncle ___ -- nor being invited to.)

 

[golfgal]

I am almost 40 and I refer to all of my aunts and uncles as "Aunt ___" or "Uncle ___." I'm in Ohio. My husband's family (St. Louis, MO) does the same. For what it's worth, he calls my aunts/uncles "Aunt/Uncle ___" and I call his the same way. As in, "Aunt Jan, do you need help with that?"

My mother is nearly 70 and refers to her one surviving aunt at "Aunt Olive" (she's 93), and that's what I call her, too. Aunt Olive's daughter is "Cousin Judy" although I generally refer to my own generation of cousins by first name (without Cousin in front.)

As far as calling adults Mrs. Lastname or Ms. Firstname: My kids generally call their friends' parents Mrs. Lastname (although I'm still working on it with my 7yo who likes to call them "Mr. Abby's-dad" and "Mrs. Jimmy's-mom" etc.) However, if the adult introduces themselves to the child with first name then they are allowed to use Ms. Firstname/Mr. Firstname (our next door neighbors are Ms. Linda and Mr. Dave). If they told me that they did not like being called Ms./Mr. Firstname, then I would allow my children to call them what they wish to be called. However, I think Ms./Mr. seems more respectful than children using first names.

That is SOOOO cute!!!!

 

[Liberty Belle]

I am almost 40 and I refer to all of my aunts and uncles as "Aunt ___" or "Uncle ___." I'm in Ohio. My husband's family (St. Louis, MO) does the same. For what it's worth, he calls my aunts/uncles "Aunt/Uncle ___" and I call his the same way. As in, "Aunt Jan, do you need help with that?"

My mother is nearly 70 and refers to her one surviving aunt at "Aunt Olive" (she's 93), and that's what I call her, too. Aunt Olive's daughter is "Cousin Judy" although I generally refer to my own generation of cousins by first name (without Cousin in front.)

As far as calling adults Mrs. Lastname or Ms. Firstname: My kids generally call their friends' parents Mrs. Lastname (although I'm still working on it with my 7yo who likes to call them "Mr. Abby's-dad" and "Mrs. Jimmy's-mom" etc.) However, if the adult introduces themselves to the child with first name then they are allowed to use Ms. Firstname/Mr. Firstname (our next door neighbors are Ms. Linda and Mr. Dave). If Dave and Linda told me that they preferred first name only from the children...then I would allow my children to call them what they wish to be called. I think Mr./Mrs. Firstname is a weird way to "walk the line" between being formal and familiar, but it seems odd to me to allow kids to use *just* first names without a specific invitation. (When I was a child, I don't remember referring to *any* adult by first name -- at least, not without a prefix like Aunt __, or Uncle ___ -- nor being invited to.)

I use Aunt and Uncle, too. Can't imagine just calling them by their first names! We say Cousin Amanda, Cousin Tyler, etc when talking to the kids, but we don't call them that.

 

[golfgal]

I have a friend who does that too!

The Miss Firstname thing is common here mostly among very young children. My sons preschool teachers were referred to that way, and my daughter's Girl Scout leaders were when they girls were in Daisies and Brownies. Beyond that they called them by their first names only. That is not taken as a sign of disrespect here so long as the child knows the adult "well," or even if they just met the adult, so long as the adult introduced themselves that way. The kids normally follow the lead of the adult on that, whether calling them by first name, Miss Firstname, or Mrs. Lastname. Mrs. Lastname is almost exclusively reserved for teachers at school or church.

I also wonder, whether it is really "regional" or not...how many here refer to people to their face as Aunt A, Uncle B, Cousin D, etc as adults? Very few people that I know do that. Most will say "my Aunt A" when talking about them, but drop the "Aunt" when talking to them. I have one niece from NJ that calls me "Aunt Michelle" (she's in her 30s) and it always strikes me kinda funny. I also have an elderly cousin from Alabama who will call and say, "This is Cousin June." Also strikes me funny.

And one more: I had a coworker who referred to his parents by their first names. It seemed odd and disrespectful to the rest of us. Someone asked him about it one day and he said that his parents are from Norway, and they do not find it disrespectful at all. (According to him, I claim no knowledge about this at all) He said that to them it is odd for an adult to say "Mama" or "Dad," that is only expected from children. If I referred to my father by his first name, I think he'd come unglued.

Oddly enough, most people around here use Aunt and Uncle when they address them, "Hi, Aunt Mary" even adults. I have a hard time calling former teachers by their first name, even as an adult--even though some of them are really probably only 6 or 7 years older than I am . Same thing with my parent's friends, still call them Mr. or Mrs. Lastname.

 

[tlbwriter]

I'm in my late 40s and I've just recently stopped calling my closest aunt "Aunt Firstname." My nephew is 30 and he hasn't called me "Aunt Firstname" in years. Maybe it's a generational thing.

 

[LilyWDW]

Again, it's more of a southern thing. I think it is incredibly cute for a little 3 year old to call their teacher "Miss Mary" though-especially since they are almost always in love with their preschool teachers and the inflection in their voices is so dang cute.

Well, I called plenty of adults Miss (or Mister) Firstname when I was younger in Illinois and they had not issue with it either. So, I don't think it is only a southern thing (I lived up there longer then I have here).

 

[RLccweems]

Punch, $5 an hour babysitters.

In my area it's 10.00 an hour.

 

[NotUrsula]

Only 2 of my parents' 16 siblings are still living, and I address them both as Aunt Firstname. AFAIK, so do all of my cousins and their children, all 60-something of us. (That's numbers, not ages, though the eldest of my cousins are in their 60's.) I perhaps should add that except for two cousins, none of these folks are American. My parents to their dying day addressed their Aunts as "Auntie", and that is how my Aunts identify themselves when they call me on the phone, "Hello, M, this is Auntie Mary. How are you, love?" (BTW, that's another US regional quirk. IME, in the American South, "Aunt" and "Auntie" sometimes are indicative of race. The only Americans that I've ever heard frequently use the term "Auntie" have been AA. In Louisiana, at least, it usually is pronounced a bit differently than it is in the UK and Ireland: "aun-TEE" rather than "AUNT-ee")

There is a wide age difference between myself and my eldest sister. My children call my nieces and their spouses Aunt and Uncle, although they are actually first cousins. (However, my nieces have never called me Aunt unless they want to annoy me, as we are about the same age and went to school together. Their children do call me Aunt, which is rather nicer than Great-Aunt )

My children are taught to refer to their parent's friends and adult neighbors as Miz/Mister Firstname unless the person prefers last name; they are not supposed to address any unrelated adult by firstname only untll they get past their mid-teens. (They do call their adult cousins by their first names, however.) As to the reason for this form of address, LilyWDW is exactly right; the honorific is used as a term of respect for folks who are older and unrelated, but still very close to you.

 

[Minnesota!]

I have a friend who does that too!

The Miss Firstname thing is common here mostly among very young children. My sons preschool teachers were referred to that way, and my daughter's Girl Scout leaders were when they girls were in Daisies and Brownies. Beyond that they called them by their first names only. That is not taken as a sign of disrespect here so long as the child knows the adult "well," or even if they just met the adult, so long as the adult introduced themselves that way. The kids normally follow the lead of the adult on that, whether calling them by first name, Miss Firstname, or Mrs. Lastname. Mrs. Lastname is almost exclusively reserved for teachers at school or church.

I also wonder, whether it is really "regional" or not...how many here refer to people to their face as Aunt A, Uncle B, Cousin D, etc as adults? Very few people that I know do that. Most will say "my Aunt A" when talking about them, but drop the "Aunt" when talking to them. I have one niece from NJ that calls me "Aunt Michelle" (she's in her 30s) and it always strikes me kinda funny. I also have an elderly cousin from Alabama who will call and say, "This is Cousin June." Also strikes me funny.

And one more: I had a coworker who referred to his parents by their first names. It seemed odd and disrespectful to the rest of us. Someone asked him about it one day and he said that his parents are from Norway, and they do not find it disrespectful at all. (According to him, I claim no knowledge about this at all) He said that to them it is odd for an adult to say "Mama" or "Dad," that is only expected from children. If I referred to my father by his first name, I think he'd come unglued.

When talking about my aunts/uncles I use Aunt/uncle/cousin. However, never ever have I used "Aunt" or "Uncle" when talking to them. I never knew people did that, honestly, until I met DH. And it drives me INSANE that at 33...he still uses those terms. Ugh. And so do all his siblings.

I never have/never will...and that is one of the many reasons his family doesn't like me

And I don't care what my kids call me. As long as they are respectful in their tone. I know of many people who call their parents by their first names. It doesn't bug me.

My kids call me momma, and I call my mom "mom"...but I would have no issues with those being switched up!

And also...never had I ever known kids to call elders...Mrs. LastName. Certainly not parents of their friends. It was always their first name. It sounds too stuffy and informal otherwise.

And then comes along ODS' best friend. His mom is from the south...and asks to be called Miss Mary. I roll with it because she requested it...but it's never anything I would have taught my kids

 

[indimom]

I have a friend who does that too!

The Miss Firstname thing is common here mostly among very young children. My sons preschool teachers were referred to that way, and my daughter's Girl Scout leaders were when they girls were in Daisies and Brownies. Beyond that they called them by their first names only. That is not taken as a sign of disrespect here so long as the child knows the adult "well," or even if they just met the adult, so long as the adult introduced themselves that way. The kids normally follow the lead of the adult on that, whether calling them by first name, Miss Firstname, or Mrs. Lastname. Mrs. Lastname is almost exclusively reserved for teachers at school or church.

I also wonder, whether it is really "regional" or not...how many here refer to people to their face as Aunt A, Uncle B, Cousin D, etc as adults? Very few people that I know do that. Most will say "my Aunt A" when talking about them, but drop the "Aunt" when talking to them. I have one niece from NJ that calls me "Aunt Michelle" (she's in her 30s) and it always strikes me kinda funny. I also have an elderly cousin from Alabama who will call and say, "This is Cousin June." Also strikes me funny.

And one more: I had a coworker who referred to his parents by their first names. It seemed odd and disrespectful to the rest of us. Someone asked him about it one day and he said that his parents are from Norway, and they do not find it disrespectful at all. (According to him, I claim no knowledge about this at all) He said that to them it is odd for an adult to say "Mama" or "Dad," that is only expected from children. If I referred to my father by his first name, I think he'd come unglued.

I'm in Indiana and I do. Most of the people I know do also.

I am almost 40 and I refer to all of my aunts and uncles as "Aunt ___" or "Uncle ___." I'm in Ohio. My husband's family (St. Louis, MO) does the same. For what it's worth, he calls my aunts/uncles "Aunt/Uncle ___" and I call his the same way. As in, "Aunt Jan, do you need help with that?"

My mother is nearly 70 and refers to her one surviving aunt at "Aunt Olive" (she's 93), and that's what I call her, too. Aunt Olive's daughter is "Cousin Judy" although I generally refer to my own generation of cousins by first name (without Cousin in front.)

And that's how we do it also. No title unless we are trying to differentiate between two different Johns, or something like that.

As far as calling adults Mrs. Lastname or Ms. Firstname: My kids generally call their friends' parents Mrs. Lastname (although I'm still working on it with my 7yo who likes to call them "Mr. Abby's-dad" and "Mrs. Jimmy's-mom" etc.) However, if the adult introduces themselves to the child with first name then they are allowed to use Ms. Firstname/Mr. Firstname (our next door neighbors are Ms. Linda and Mr. Dave). If Dave and Linda told me that they did not like being called Ms./Mr. Firstname, then I would allow my children to call them what they wish to be called. However, I think Ms./Mr. seems more respectful than children using first names. (When I was a child, I don't remember referring to *any* adult by first name -- at least, not without a prefix like Aunt __, or Uncle ___ -- nor being invited to.)

Well, I called plenty of adults Miss (or Mister) Firstname when I was younger in Illinois and they had not issue with it either. So, I don't think it is only a southern thing (I lived up there longer then I have here).

My day care kiddos call our elderly neighbors Mr. Bill and Miss Betty. I think the first names are somewhat easier for young kids than last names.

My mother worked for years at the local elementary school and was frequently called "Grandma Rainey" (a shortened version of Lorraine) by the kids there. She didn't ask them to call her that, but one child saw a grandmotherly-looking woman and chose to call her that, and before long it spread to the other kids.

 

[DeaverTex]

Again, it would be all in the way it was said. It just isn't really said around here other than being snarky or SOMETIMES someone at a store or wherever may say "ma'ma can I help you" since obviously they don't know your name but usually it is just "can I help you". In this situation it's fine but again, you rarely hear anyone say "ma'am' . I guess it would be like "y'all". No one here says that either, but common in places in the south.

What?! What?! How do y'all manage to communicate?! (And of course, I'm teasing.)

 

[SaraJayne]

What?! What?! How do y'all manage to communicate?! (And of course, I'm teasing.)

We say "you guys".

 

[Michelle67]

I lost track of whom I was quoting but it's okay... I just smiled over the knowing which John you're talking about given as an example. I know soooo many John's. That's the one exception to my "not calling people cousin" thing. I don't call him that to his face, but in my phone my cousin John is listed under C...Cuz John.