Recent wedding trend ? vent

[Spacepest]

The last wedding we went to which was several years ago we had a similar experience. The invitation said reception to follow. We waited 2.5 hours with M&m's , nuts and a cash bar. They had invited my kids as well because we have known the family for 25 years. Once the couple showed up dinner was still not served for another hour or so. We said hello, made nice and went to McDonalds.

I had a similar experience at a wedding I attended last summer, for two high school friends getting married.

Wedding was one of those package deals, with the ceremony and reception taking place on the same property. The reception was to include a full dinner.

After the wedding we walked over to the reception tent...and waited over two hours for food service. There was a cash bar, no snacks, the food was already set up but none of the catering staff would let anyone eat per the bride's orders. Also the DJ refused to play music without the bride, no extra activities were offered, so we were left sitting at the tables in the reception area with watered down drinks.

What was the bride doing? Spending more than two hours taking pictures. At dinner time.

After the first hour, some of the guests left to go to a local restaurant a block away to eat, then walked back to the reception. I wish I had gone with them, because the food ended up tasting terrible from sitting out for so long! We were then given one hour to eat our food, go through the cake cutting ceremony, and dance, before we got kicked out since the reception site was rented by the hour and the time was almost up. The whole experience left a bad taste in my mouth.

When I had my wedding, the reception was immediately after along with food service, because in my opinion its rude to invite guests to a reception that takes place during a mealtime, and then not feed them immediately!

 

[usd2bmd]

I think to insinuate on the invitation that the reception immediately follows only to find out that it doesn't is a little strange.

When DH and I got married 20 years ago we had a full catholic mass at 12 and the reception started at 6. this was clearly stated on the invitation as well as the fact that my parents were hosting a party between the two so guests had something to do while we had photos taken.

After photos we went to the party and then head to the reception.

I can't imagine making our guests wait for us without offering them drinks and snacks.

 

[DeaverTex]

I've done a little reading (out of curiosity) and it seems that a delay between the wedding and the reception is common, even though I've never seen it. Of course, I've never been at a wedding where the reception wasn't held in the fellowship hall (or whatever they called it) in the same building as the ceremony, with the only delay being the time it took the church ladies to get the pimento cheese sandwiches and Kool Aid punch ready. All mid-afternoon affairs. Full disclosure: I've been to maybe 7-8 weddings in my life, so you can't really call me an authority.

 

[Pooh2]

I have been too lots of weddings where the bride and groom have an extended photo shoot, leaving guests standing around waiting. Some have had munchies while you wait, some not. Not a particularly enjoyable aspect of wedding for the guests.

My son got married last weekend. They did "First Look" photos, then all the formal and family shots before a Catholic ceremony. The bride and groom joined the cocktail/munchie hour and circulated amongst guests instead of a traditional receiving line. It was nice that they spent time with the guests instead of having their own extended photo shoot after the ceremony. Would love to see this become the new trend. Much more enjoyable for the guests.

 

[powellrj]

This happened a few years ago to a family wedding my parents attended. The wedding was at 4:30 in the afternoon and everyone went to the country club for the reception when it was over. The bridal party showed up after 9pm drunk from going out to a pre reception party for just them.

 

[LBIJim]

This happened a few years ago to a family wedding my parents attended. The wedding was at 4:30 in the afternoon and everyone went to the country club for the reception when it was over. The bridal party showed up after 9pm drunk from going out to a pre reception party for just them.

Did the guests have to wait for the drunks to arrive before dinner was served? If so, me and my gift would have been gone long before they arrived.

 

[Patience]

The same thing happened to us at a wedding several years ago. We attended the ceremony and then made our way to the fellowship hall right at the church for the reception. There was food already set up but we weren't allowed to eat it until the bridal party arrived. They came in about an hour and a half later. That's a long time to just be sitting there with no food, no music and no drink. Some people left before the bridal party arrived but most people just ate quickly once they were allowed to and left soon thereafter. I think the bride was a little upset that people left so soon after she and the groom arrived but when you force people to sit in a room for a long time with nothing to do, they are ready to leave.

 

[aprilgail2]

The last wedding I went to had a big gap - wedding at 2, reception at 7, in different parts of the city. I didn't have a problem with it - the times were clearly stated on the invitation though. It wasn't a huge inconvenience for me since it was local (and from what I heard at the reception, most of the out of towners just went back to their hotels in between), but some friends with little kids sent only one spouse to the wedding, since it was too tricky to get a sitter for both events (and too expensive to keep the sitter from the wedding all the way through the end of the reception). I believe for the couple the reason was a combo of church availability and destination picture taking. On the other hand, to tell people the reception is "immediately following" and then leave them to sit for hours is just rude - every wedding I've been to where the reception was right after, the guests started the cocktail hour while the wedding party took photos, they weren't just left to wait.

It is very common here to attend just the reception and skip the ceremony. Just as it's not uncommon for people not invited to the reception to go to the church part and attend the wedding if they like.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

The big gap has been customary here for as long as I can remember. But, nobody says "reception to follow immediately". More like wedding at 2, reception at 5.

Yep.

In general, weddings with large gaps, someone would host a get together for people that were out of town guests with no where to go or anyone else who wanted to attend.

Also if it said reception immediately following, then you would walk into a cocktail hour sans bride and groom.

I would say OP the fault here is that your wedding hosts were very poor planners.

 

[Maggie Lizer]

I have been to three weddings with a full Catholic service and a reception at a country club afterwards. Two in NJ, one in NY. For both, following the conclusion of the ceremony, guests went to the reception venue for cocktail hour and the bride & groom & attendants arrived maybe an hour or an hour and a half later. Each reception had drinks and one had a fancy cheese board and some hot hors o'deurves, one had tables set up with assorted appetizers/amuse-bouches, and for the third I cannot recall if there was any food.

My mom said that when she got married in the 70's in NY, after the Catholic ceremony, she and my dad and the bridal party stayed with the photographer for over 2 hours taking photos before they could go to the reception. Meanwhile, all the guests went to the reception for a cocktail hour, and she was famished by the time she and dad finally arrived.

I guess I've never been to a wedding where there was not some sort of cocktail hour to entertain the guests while the bridal party was taking their post-ceremony photos. I would personally find a gap of several hours kind of weird.

 

[PaulaSB12]

It's THEIR wedding.

The bride and groom exit the church, the invitation says reception immediately to follow. The mother of the bride asks the guests to make their way to the reception. We drive across town. The reception hall says everybody is too early, and we can't come in until X. Some ppl leave, some ppl find something nearby to do, some ppl wait. They open the doors to let us in "early", the bride and groom don't show up until 2.5-3 hrs after the wedding ??? Turns out, they rented a party bus to take the wedding party to go back to their favorite bar place for rounds of drinks.
So the bride and groom leave the guests after getting mother of bride to ask guests to go to the reception then go with a few friends for a 3 hour drink. That is so rude.

 

[jerseygal]

Mentioned this to our 27 year old son last night as he is an usher in a wedding next week...

Mentioned this "scenario" of hours in between and he said that all of the weddings he has attended in the last year or so, there is a "gap" for pictures, but the guests usually have a cocktail hour...

He and his friends are young and like to have a GOOD TIME! He mentioned that in his opinion it is RUDE AND SELFISH to leave your guests "in a lurch while you are drinking yourself silly before the wedding even begins"...

Thank God for Level Headed and Considerate Sons!

 

[Flamingeaux]

Lots of weddings are a waste of money. Sort of like graduation rings... hahaha

 

[Jedana]

DD1 had space between her wedding and reception. About 5 months.
They went to the JP, got married, and had a big reception later, when they had more time. They wanted to get married on a particular date, that meant something to them, but with her being in school, and having finals during that time frame, it was easier for them to do it this way. (And she will have issues for the next few years, as she is working on her Masters in business now)


DD2 is not having a big reception. She gets married in 5 days. They are getting married on the beach, with some friends and family, and then there will be cake and punch before they run off for a mini honeymoon at WDW. The original plan, 6 months ago, was for October 2015, but then he got deployment orders and she didn't want to wait any longer. Of course, she decided that 2 months ago, so this all had to be pulled together quickly.

He flies in Friday, they are going to get the marriage license. Getting married Sunday morning. They leave right after cake to WDW for a few days. Come back here on July 1st (her 21st birthday; they are spending the morning at Epcot ). Having dinner with us. They fly out to see his family the next day, for 4 days. Back to CA on the 7th and she has to be at DL on the 8th. (Did I mention she got a job at DL? She's in merchandising--it's a start, and she is over the moon.) He deploys 7/25, the same day she is supposed to start at DL. Told her to talk to someone in HR and get her start date pushed back a day or two, if possible.

 

[msjprincess]

Every wedding I have attended has had a gap except when the couple was married at the catering hall. And I'm almost 50, so it's not a new thing.