Reasons why a mom wouldn't like her son's girlfriend?

[Pin Wizard]

my DH always wished she would be a lesbian so he wouldn't have to think of her with a guy. How's that work?

LOLOLOL!! Don't you remember the first time it dawned on you that your parents actually did it? I do! GROSS!!! LOLOL!

I'm a single parent of a boy. I've already told DS of which one he should settle down with. Of course, he'll have to go back to FL to get her, but returning there is in his plan at this point. LOL! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...12 year olds!

 

[Stitchfans]

I have 2 daughters. My guess though is he is ma ma's boy and she is jealous of the attention her son is giving your daughter. So afraid she will take him away from her. I have a situation were I don't like my daughter's boyfriend. No one in our family likes him as a matter of fact. She is determined to some day marry him and we all see the heart ache she will have later. So far he has given her a promise ring. He is very immature, self centered, and worst of all a complete control freak. Lately dd24 has been going to church with us and he is trying to get her to stop that! He yells at her often to the point were I have jumped on his case and then the baby starts crying. He mooches of us and my daughter has to pay for everything. I at least stopped him from mooching off us now but she doesn't seem to think it is mooching since she makes a little more money than he does. I know they say love is blind, but does it make you stupid too? For crying out loud, the first time I met this clown he informs me that he can't wait until his old man (thats what he calls his dad) dies cause his father just inherited tons of money from his mom who recently passed away. My ex husand is worth a lot of money, he owns 3 houses, and has tons of investments. My husband, exhusband and I all are well aware that he sees the $$$$ by marrying our daughter.
Sorry needed to vent thanks for listening theres more but I don't want to write a novel.

 

[minniecarousel]

It sounds like your daughter is a sweetie! I have always tried to like the girls that my sons have dated. The main reason for not liking any particular girl is if she appears to "control" my son. There was one girl who had to have everything her way! (not sure why DS stayed with her for so long!) I just look at my sons with the girl they're with and if they're happy - I'm happy! (and boy, is my older son HAPPY!!)

 

[disykat]

I have totally different answers if they are still in high school. While many of the above could be true if the son is older, it could just be that the mom doesn't really approve of super serious relationships in high school. I didn't date seriously enough in high school to spend much time at a boyfriend's house, nor did my dh. We're BOTH going to have some issues if our children do - and it probably won't have ANYTHING to do with the girl.

Worry about pregnancy
worry about getting distracted from grades, work, etc.
worrying that son won't want to leave girlfriend to go to his first choice of college
worry that son will want to get married and never have a chance to "play the field"

It could have nothing to do with your daughter really, but with the worry that his feelings for her will change the decisions he makes.

 

[Tasha+Scott]

Oh, this sounds all too familiar! Dh's mom hated me when we were dating too. I never did anything to make her hate me, other than dating her son. Basically she was fine when we first started dating but when we got serious she felt like I was taking her 'baby' from her. He was the youngest and the only one of her children who still lived at home so he was technically still the baby in her eyes. She was extremely nasty to me a few months after we started dating. I was always nice and polite and tried to avoid conflicts but she still didn't like me. We have been married almost 6 years now and it has gotten only slightly better, not much. When we told her we were expecting our first child (we had been married nearly 5 years at this point) she got extremely angry and said she wasn't happy for us. It caused major problems between her and Dh because it really hurt my feelings as well as his. Finally when we found out we were having a girl she started to come around a little but not a whole lot. But when DD was born I guess the reality finally hit and she has accepted our baby...but she still hasn't accepted me! I have done everything I know to do to make peace but I finally realized that I never did anything to her to begin with and some people just find reasons not to ever give someone a chance. At least she is nice to my child. That's better than nothing.

Basically I would tell your DD to just always be nice to his mother (unless she says or does something extremely nasty that can't be ignored!) and maybe she'll come around. If not, then his mother is the one that has the problem, not your DD. I have learned the best way to deal with Dh's mother is to avoid her except during holidays or when we take the baby to see her. It works out better that way for all involved. Sad, but true.

 

[sue1013]

It could also have to do with as you said they are always at your house. The mother probably doesn't know your DD well enough to see how nice a girl she is. Girls seem to want to be at their house. I would always tell my DD you've got to give his family time too. I'm also the mother of a son and that is the only thing that has bothered me about his girlfriends.