Really Bad Day

[Eeyores Butterfly]

Do you ever just have one of those days? I'm just looking to vent, not start a debate, not be told how wrong I am, how incompetent, I get it.

I have posted how I have a tough group of students. I have one kid in particular that has bitten me hard enough twice that he drew blood (among many other physically aggressive behaviors.) I've been trying some different calming techniques with him and this morning went wonderfully. I thought maybe I was finally reaching a breakthrough. Then he went to specials and everything just went downhill.

I am still having problems with my para. I talked to him today about something that occurred and he sat there and argued with me. Honestly, it feels like he creates more work for me.

Then I got some news on a student. It's one of those tough situations you know you will have to deal with as a teacher but hopefully not in your very first month. It's going to be very difficult and I'm dreading what the next few days could bring.

I had training tonight so decided to go to Taco Bell on the way. I'm in the drive through, the lady ahead of me starts to pull forward, and then stops because she forgot her change. They asked me to back up and there was nobody behind me so I did. At some point another car came around the corner. I don't know who hit whom, but it was gentle enough I didn't even realize what happened at first. She comes running out, screams at me to "Get out and look at what you've done!" I get out, apologizing over and over because a this point I have no clue who hit whom and assumed I was at fault. I kid you not, the only damage was a dent in her license plate.

There was not a single scratch, scuff, or even dirt mark on her bumper. But she demanded my information and wouldn't even let me pull out of the way so as not to block the drive through. I realize now I should have taken pics with my cell phone and gotten her information, but at the time I was fairly shaken and very flustered, especially with her yelling at me. There was no actual damage to either car. She kept going on about how her husband would look at it and they would be talking to my insurance. At one point I'm said, "I am so sorry. It was accident." She just told me that's what they are called, would not accept my apology. Come to find out from the Taco Bell people after she left, that she continued coming into me. Was I at fault? Probably at least partially. But it sounds like she may have been partially at fault too. I don't know. First time I've ever had to do this.

At this point I am late for my training. Go to turn on my GPS which had turned off when I shut off the car. It won't turn on. I end up spectacularly turned around and lost, called the school to tell them I was running late, and they never relayed the message to my trainer.

So yeah, I know I'm stupid. I can't handle my own classroom or para, I was at fault in the accident and should have taken pics and gotten her information, should have a better sense of direction, I get it. So please can this not be a bashing thread?

Anybody else just ever have one of those days?

 

[Stevania]

You should always, always, ALWAYS call the police for an accident. You must have an accident report. You probably were at fault for backing up in the fast food lane.....sucks.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

I'm sending you as many hugs as I can.

Being a first year special ed teacher is the hardest thing I've ever done. It's the only professional job I know of where the newest members of the profession the most challenging cases and the least support. It's like having an intern do a heart transplant while the award winning surgeon is down the hall putting in ear tubes, or asking the first year lawyer to argue in front of the Supreme Court.

As someone who has had 16 more years (each one easier) after that first hard one, I can tell you that you'll come through this. That you'll find your "swing" and end up loving this job. I can hear it loud and clear in your posts how much you want to figure this out, and motivation is half the battle.

If you ever want another teacher to bounce ideas off (I actually don't teach much anymore, mostly what I do is coach teachers), send me a PM.

And get some sleep.

 

[npmommie]

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

I guess I don't get why you would call the police when there was literally no damage to either car. I mean, if it happened while the cars were parked (and I had been in her car) I would not have expected a note or anything. It never even crossed my mind (like I said, at the time I was really flustered, I"ve never been in an "accident" before if you can even call it that). She never demanded it either, so I'm wondering if she would even have a leg to stand on if she made some kind of claim?

 

[Stevania]

I guess I don't get why you would call the police when there was literally no damage to either car. I mean, if it happened while the cars were parked (and I had been in her car) I would not have expected a note or anything. It never even crossed my mind (like I said, at the time I was really flustered, I"ve never been in an "accident" before if you can even call it that). She never demanded it either, so I'm wondering if she would even have a leg to stand on if she made some kind of claim?

You do it to protect yourself! She could have an accident tomorrow with a tree, and say YOU caused it. No pictures, no proof, nothing.

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

Yeah, in hindsight it may not have been a bad idea. But I'm going to be frank: Her hissy fit and dented license plate were not even on my radar after recieving the news about my student. (other than she was screaming at me.) Life should be so good that a dented license plate ruins my day. Actually, I've been that car (got to car in parking lot to find my license plate dented but no other damage) and it really phased me not one bit. If it should ever happen again I wll remember that.

 

[Stevania]

Yeah, in hindsight it may not have been a bad idea. But I'm going to be frank: Her hissy fit and dented license plate were not even on my radar after recieving the news about my student. (other than she was screaming at me.) Life should be so good that a dented license plate ruins my day. Actually, I've been that car (got to car in parking lot to find my license plate dented but no other damage) and it really phased me not one bit. If it should ever happen again I wll remember that.

I promise I was NOT trying to beat you up. My parents instilled in me, to always call the police, always. Even for the most minor fender bender because you just don't know what the other person will do down the road.

I'm hoping this other person will do nothing, god knows you have enough crap in your life right now.

 

[momof1princess]

i hope things get better for you.

 

[JOCAmom]

Can I just give you a hug since I have no advice to give. I'm sorry you had such a horrible day.

 

[Stevania]

i know how you feel. my 80 year old grandmother (who is in failing health) is having knee surgery monday, my husband has come to hate his job to the point he wants to quit, i loathe my job with all my heart and desperately want to quit but can't, my mother is so deeply in debt we're having to help support her and i've started snacking again...i managed to quit for 5 years, and the habit has crept back up on me. i'm at the breaking point myself. some days it's really not worth it to get out of bed. i hope your friday is better.

nevermind

 

[IDoDis]

Typically, police won't even come to calls from parking lot fender benders. The accident has to be on a road. At least that's how it's handled where I live. For parking lot accidents we are told to just exchange information. And you may not be completely at fault. Since she was also going forward into you, she may very well likely be considered 50% at fault. If that happens, she'll just have to pay for her own damages, which sounds like nothing but lots of smoke.

Call Taco Bell tomorrow and see if they have a video camera on the drive-up lane. Many places do have cameras nowadays. If they do, let your insurance company know. They can get the video. If the other driver was moving forward, your insurance will fight her claim.

As far as the teaching, I know how challenging the job can be. Many times it doesn't seem like you are getting anywhere, but by the end of the year you'll be able to look back and see improvements since the beginning. If you are getting bit, make sure to always wear a long-sleeved shirt. You might consider wearing gloves when working with this student. Good luck!

 

[MariDisney]

Hang in there. I have worked with many seriously aggressive students throughout the years, and I can tell you it is one of the hardest things you will ever do. No one else seems to understand because your situation is so unique. At least that was my experience in the schools I taught. It will get better as your confidence in handling the siutation grows. Same goes for the para.

Hang in there, I know you've had a rough day or two IRL and here on the DIS.

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

I think part of the problem with my classroom is I was not adequately prepared for the behaviors. I was told the kids had problems with adaptive behaviors (and that really is all but two of my kiddos). I was lead to believe the physical behaviors would be minimal. I dont know if this was intentional or not. I have literally sat on desks to stop a student from throwing it. And I teach elementary school. One student will throw anything in range when he is angry. The other one bites, although that is decreasing (mainly because I have much faster reflexes), spits, kicks, scratches, hits, head butts. I thought I had figured out all his little tricks when he pulled a new one on me this week: hair pulling. He is doing much better for me, I think he just needed an adult to bond with, but it frustrates me that as soon asthey go to specials or lunch or his therapies (essentially the times I am not with them) all that progress just goes down the drain.

The first week I literally did not have one single break from my students. I ate with them, they went with their grade levels to specials instead of having our own time, and even after we had our own time I was always being called to take a kid. I like having plan time and having adult time, but I may have to go back to not having either until I can get this kid to be successful without me.

 

[jemgumby]

No bashing here. We all need to vent sometimes and here is a .

 

[MariDisney]

Have you had training in how to deal with physical aggression? There are courses (usually 8 hours or so) that can help you know the best way to get out of a bite, hair pull, etc. They will also teach you the best and safest way to physically assist or restrain if needed. I have worked on hospital inpatient units with kids with life threatenin self injury and aggression towards others. Have been adequately trained in "Crisis Prevention Intervention (CPI)" really gave me the tools I needed. Also, are you trained in Applied Behavior Analysis, which will help you deal with the functions of behaviors and how to plan to manage them. Perhaps your district has a Behavior Analyst to help you out (that's what I do).

 

[NewCrew42]

This is what my dad used to say to me when I had a bad day...

Have a good cry and get a good night's rest. Things will be better in the morning!

Now my husband of 18 years says it to me, in fact he said it to me last night.

I hope tomorrow is a better day!

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

I'm actually taking a training right now called Mandt that is in restraint and how to handle difficult behaviors. It is a 30+ hour course. That means I am going to school at like 6:30 am and not getting done til 9:00pm. I'm not sure if I'll be paid, even though it is a job requirement. I hope I am because the first day conflicted with a new teacher training they required me to go to and I am being docked money because of it. If not, I knew it was a possibility going in. A.) The training is required, and B.) It is very necessary to what is going on my room right now.

 

[Plannin'Shannon]

Sending some pixie dust your way. Hope everything looks brighter for you very soon.

 

[I_Heart_Disney_4_Lyf]

Poor thang, here's hoping you had a better today.
Sometimes I feel like those horrible days are there just to remind us to appreciate the "boring" days in our lives.