Reality check -- problems with neighbors -- update2 post #60

[lunalibre]

Here's hoping that you folks on the DIS can help give me some perspective... .

I live in an area without a homeowners association. If we want to do something to our property, all we have to do is get a permit from the city and proceed with construction. We are currently adding a game room out over our garage. We have a two-story house, and when construction is done you really won't be able to tell it was added on. We also decided to build a storage shed in the corner of our property while we had the builders here. The shed borders property with long-time neighbors of ours. These folks weren't really friends, but we've done PTA together, we go to the same church, etc.

After the shed went up, we got a BLISTERING, curse-filled tirade from them about what inconsiderate you-know-whats we were. We "ruined" their fence on that side of their property, all they can see from their bedroom window is this ugly shed, and they wouldn't have even considered putting in a pool if they had known we were going to put up a storage shed. "The pool was here first!" was the quote. Apparently we've destroyed the whole "look" of the neighborhood with our 8' x 10' storage shed. I offered to put plants out to improve their view and was told "any plants you put out are just going to get in the pool, which would be even worse!" "You've destroyed our property values!" Oooookay.

So...reality check. Was I honestly supposed to have asked their *permission* before building on my own property? We have permits for all the work, everything meets city code. You can't see the new addition from the front of the house. You can see the shed from the alleyway, but you can see a lot of other things too (play forts, a neighbor's RV, some tall pickup trucks...). We put up a well-built wooden shed that matches the rest of the house. We're painting it to match and it's even going to have gutters to keep the water off our shared fence. Is it truly *my* responsibility to control the view from their pool??? If they had put up an 8' fence rather than the 6' fence (most folks around here have an 8' fence), you'd hardly see it from their yard. If they were so concerned about the view, shouldn't they have controlled it on their own property???

I have been crying my eyes out over this. We have saved for this new game room for years. We thought we *were* being considerate by not putting a window on that side to look into their pool. Several other neighbors (including the guy directly across the street) have sheds much bigger, and dare I say it, taller than ours. No one asked our permission first for those, and I sure didn't think it was necessary.

I just talked to the wife again this morning, informing her that we were painting today and we'd put tarps over the fence and as far over the deck and pool area as we could. I was told again what an obnoxious blankety-blank I was, how unbelievably inconsiderate, and that "they'd be returning the favor every chance they got." I guess that means they'll do what they can to ruin our property values.

I am just so upset over this I can't see straight. We didn't think we were doing anything wrong. The addition is not out of scale with the rest of the neighborhood. The shed isn't unusual. I had originally planned to landscape it like those cute little garden houses in Southern Living, but I guess I won't do that now since any plants will "just get in the pool." Am I really so inconsiderate with all this construction???

 

[snubie]

I don't think you did anything wrong and your neighbors are a bit on the crazy side if they think otherwise.

 

[jewelshouse]

Ok yes their your neighbors and you should respect them but . . . if it's on your property you have the right to put a shed in. They can't control what happens on your property and unless it is directly on their side they don't have a say in what goes in.

As long as it's taken care of and doesn't look "trashy" they don't have any right to complain and if it were me I would plant what ever I want.

If they continue to complain suggest they plant a tree, on their property of course, so it "blocks" their view.

Don't feel guilty, you paid for your property.

 

[tzolkin]

wow. I guess I would be upset if my neighbors did something that "ruined my property value", but I can't really see where putting a new shed in their own backyard would hurt me. I live in a poorer area, so maybe I'm just out of touch, but I really don't think you did anything wrong.

We fenced in our entire large backyard. We did tell the neighbors we were planning to put up a fence. They said okay and never another word. We didn't ask their opinion on the type of fence or anything. We just put it up. We also have a large playset, gardens, and a 30 foot tipi in our yard. No complaints.

I'm very sorry that you are having to deal with this. They honestly just sound like mean people and I would just ignore it. You did nothing wrong. They're probably just looking for something to complain about. If you have a yard that borders on/ has a view of your neighbor's, you can't expect that they don't have the right to use their yard as they see fit (within reason) because it bothers your view. If they are going to be that picky, perhaps they should look for a home with more property/privacy.

 

[MyDizneyBoyz]

Oh my heavens. Some people will just NEVER be happy. You followed the rules, you were more than considerate, now it's their turn to get over it.

When people complain about something, I'm more than happy to see how valid their complaint is and then respond accordingly. In this case, their complaint is just sour grapes. If it was a rusted out truck sitting in a pile of weeds they were complaining about, sure, I'd take care of it. But a brand new, professionally built shed that matches the house? Personally, I think it's cute. And it keeps garden tools and other such things out of sight. So technically, you've just improved their view by tucking all your potential clutter neatly away. Perhaps you should point out this fact.

When complaints drag on past a reasonable timeframe, I stop being nice about it. There comes a point when I'd just smile and say, "Sorry you feel that way but it's our yard and we'll improve it as we see fit. And can you skim your pool more often? You've got some debris floating in there and it's such an eyesore. Thanks."

 

[Not so Dumbo]

Sounds like you have done everything right. You got the proper permits, everything's to code, the shed matches your house. I don't know what else you could have done. If you want a shed, your neighbors don't have the right to tell you no. Hopefully they will calm down soon, maybe given enough time it will all blow over.

 

[MightyMom]

Our neighbors put up a HUGE monsterous shed in their backyard. It's a huge metal shed.... it is well over 12 feet high.... and at least 18 feet across.

The neighbor collects vintage cars and he uses it as a garage to store them.

It is the UGLIEST thing!!! I hate waking up on a glorious morning only to see the sun reflecting off the top of that hideous thing.

To top it off..... the neighbor on the other side of the house parked his new RV up against the fence.

One side I see a huge ugly shed.... other side I see a big RV.

As much as I hate both things.... I won't dare say a word because it is their property.

 

[TheRatPack]

We have a set of neighbors like that....we plan on putting up a fence soon, but then it'll just be a complaint on what kind we chose...etc.

 

[deedeetoo]

You have done nothing wrong. Try to calm down.

I'm trying to understand why someone would gets so upset about you building a shed. I don't get it. We built a shed and didn't ask the neighbors. It didn't even cross our minds to do so.

What interests me more about this is that these people go to your church. They are cursing at you and making nasty remarks to you and they go to your church. I can't even imagine that.

 

[thegrimdwarf]

Aw, I'm angry on your behalf - give me your neighbor's phone number!

Seriously - don't shed tears over the rantings of your neighbors. Clearly they are immature, self-centered, and ignorant. And low class. What kind of adults come at their neighbor with vulgarities and name-calling? Even if you were in the wrong - which you aren't - but even if you were, that's no way for them to act. It sounds like your addition and shed are lovely. They're probably jealous.

If I were you, I'd take pictures of your property, especially along the fence line that separates your plot from theirs. And just make a little note of the date/time/circumstance/anyone present at the time of the threat to 'return the favor'. It'll be helpful to have this stuff in your arsenal in case they really are that stupid.

 

[mickeyluvr004]

We also have a lovely neighbor like that my other neighbor who is lucky to live behind him had to replace her septic system and needed to cut down trees to install it, well he was a pain in the you know what kept calling the town to report her but she had all permits, and all he did was complain that she was cutting down trees (on her property) and she was cutting down too many. I guess some people have nothing better to do. One day he came to my house complaining about my puppy doing a little barking (she was playing with our other dogs) and it was around noon, I made sure he knew that I knew his dog barks all night keeping us awake, I said you keep your dog quiet at night and I will try to keep her quiet during the legal hours, our ordinence is 7am to 9pm and my dogs stay in at night and when i am not home and they hardly ever bark so again some people have nothing better to do, I just hope that things don't mysteriously happen to your shed. good luck and I also would ignore them.

 

[lunalibre]

Thanks everyone for your kind replies. I was just so floored that these folks thought we were supposed to ask them for *permission* before building anything. Umm, it's *our* property and we are the ones paying the mortgage.

tzolkin, you have a 30' tipi? That sounds fun. And while my neighbors, aka The Unreasonables (herefore known as "the U's"), would not like it either, it would actually meet my city's building codes as long as it was 5' from all property lines. Maximum outbuilding height is 35'. Hey, I could have built a 3 story shed!!!

I appreciate the fact that a storage shed is not the prettiest thing in the world. It also looks taller from their yard because their property level is a good 2' below ours. However, if they had put up an 8' fence (after all, they already knew we were "awful" neighbors), all you would see from their side would be the roof. We had *planned* to landscape it to improve their view. Any vegetation other than grass would have been at least 8' from the edge of their pool. We thought that was far enough away --- but no. Now I'm not sure what we'll do with it.

deedeetoo, I really thought that, as Christians, we'd be able to work out our differences. After being told this morning that I should be prepared for retaliation...well, I'm just going to try to ignore them as much as possible. I forgot to mention -- the curse-filled tirade happened *in front of our children*. Now, it didn't damage my kids to hear those things, but I was REALLY offended that they did that. We would NEVER have heard the end of it if we had done something like that in front of their kids. I think I've been more than generous by not bringing that up to them.

Thanks again everyone. I needed to know if I was truly being inconsiderate, or if an implacable person simply thought I was being inconsiderate. It still hurts, but I have experience dealing with those kinds of folks. You can't expect to change them -- you can only change your reaction to them. I'm not going to stoop to their level. I'm not going to curse back at them. I'm not going to invite them to our Halloween open house anymore because we don't need any extra fireworks , but... maybe we can make the space between our houses a demilitarized zone.

Considering Mrs. U was saying a few weeks ago that she's hoping all our kids can go to school with a better class of people, I expect them to put their house on the market as soon as home values rebound some more. I think maybe they'll be happier if they can "move on up" and away from trash like us.

 

[cherjp]

Why dont you tell them that when they start paying your mortgage then they have the right to dictate what happens in your property!

 

[Disney_Angel]

Here's hoping that you folks on the DIS can help give me some perspective... .

I live in an area without a homeowners association. If we want to do something to our property, all we have to do is get a permit from the city and proceed with construction. We are currently adding a game room out over our garage. We have a two-story house, and when construction is done you really won't be able to tell it was added on. We also decided to build a storage shed in the corner of our property while we had the builders here. The shed borders property with long-time neighbors of ours. These folks weren't really friends, but we've done PTA together, we go to the same church, etc.

After the shed went up, we got a BLISTERING, curse-filled tirade from them about what inconsiderate you-know-whats we were. We "ruined" their fence on that side of their property, all they can see from their bedroom window is this ugly shed, and they wouldn't have even considered putting in a pool if they had known we were going to put up a storage shed. "The pool was here first!" was the quote. Apparently we've destroyed the whole "look" of the neighborhood with our 8' x 10' storage shed. I offered to put plants out to improve their view and was told "any plants you put out are just going to get in the pool, which would be even worse!" "You've destroyed our property values!" Oooookay.

So...reality check. Was I honestly supposed to have asked their *permission* before building on my own property? We have permits for all the work, everything meets city code. You can't see the new addition from the front of the house. You can see the shed from the alleyway, but you can see a lot of other things too (play forts, a neighbor's RV, some tall pickup trucks...). We put up a well-built wooden shed that matches the rest of the house. We're painting it to match and it's even going to have gutters to keep the water off our shared fence. Is it truly *my* responsibility to control the view from their pool??? If they had put up an 8' fence rather than the 6' fence (most folks around here have an 8' fence), you'd hardly see it from their yard. If they were so concerned about the view, shouldn't they have controlled it on their own property???

I have been crying my eyes out over this. We have saved for this new game room for years. We thought we *were* being considerate by not putting a window on that side to look into their pool. Several other neighbors (including the guy directly across the street) have sheds much bigger, and dare I say it, taller than ours. No one asked our permission first for those, and I sure didn't think it was necessary.

I just talked to the wife again this morning, informing her that we were painting today and we'd put tarps over the fence and as far over the deck and pool area as we could. I was told again what an obnoxious blankety-blank I was, how unbelievably inconsiderate, and that "they'd be returning the favor every chance they got." I guess that means they'll do what they can to ruin our property values.

I am just so upset over this I can't see straight. We didn't think we were doing anything wrong. The addition is not out of scale with the rest of the neighborhood. The shed isn't unusual. I had originally planned to landscape it like those cute little garden houses in Southern Living, but I guess I won't do that now since any plants will "just get in the pool." Am I really so inconsiderate with all this construction???

You did nothing wrong!

 

[RMulieri]

I have a similar problem.As long as there is no home owners assoc., you have abided by township rules and regs, and you are indeed on your own property...TOUGH NOOGIES FOR THEM. I currently have a set of neighbors that are insisting my pool ( which is up to code and very costly might i add)ruins their view,is an eyesore(I get compliments on it from everyone else) and how dare I do that without their permission? They have gone out of their way to try and make us misrable, and be obnoxious about it.These people also threw a hissy fit of epic proportions when we put up our fence( not chain link or wood either), and tried to get a petition started to keep the properties without boundries .Good luck with this.I let everything roll off my back, and had motion detector lights installed at the rear of my property in case they decided to retaliate.

 

[Disneydonnam]

We have a neighbor that is never happy. We have a reg wooden fence up and he leans on it wiggles it has pulled boards off. He thinks we should have an open white picket fence that would match the one the other neighbor on the other side of his house. He is in the middle so he wants both sides to match.

 

[sashagiselle]

Whatever! Do not let them get to you like that. I know it's going to be hard evertime you see them, but seriously, don't sweat it or let it ruin the enjoyment of having your new addition and some storage space! Just being nosy, can you post a picture of it?

 

[tzolkin]

tzolkin, you have a 30' tipi? That sounds fun. And while my neighbors, aka The Unreasonables (herefore known as "the U's"), would not like it either, it would actually meet my city's building codes as long as it was 5' from all property lines. Maximum outbuilding height is 35'. Hey, I could have built a 3 story shed!!!

It's not permanent, we do take it down and store it in the garage in the winter. It's in a back corner of our yard and has trees behind it, so I think it looks rather lovely... We only invite the nice neighbors over to have a few drinks and roast marshmallows in it though

 

[DVCJones]

Hey, I think it is time to get a couple of chickens...oh, and a rooster too. Better yet, how about a couple of small farm animals. Maybe it is time to put together that garage band you always wanted

Seriously, I would consider putting in that window if you REALLY wanted it. You obviously tried to be considerate. Its a shed, not a barn full of animals. For the love of Jiminy. It amazes me how people can't mind their own business. Maybe you should ask them what color your next car should be too. Since you know they may see that from their yard too.

 

[JESW]

Wow! Sorry that you are going through all that! We did the same thing by adding a room above our garage and putting up a shed - actually, we have two! And we were lucky enough to not have problems with crazy neighbors. You may want to file something with your local police as they pretty much threatened you and you may want to have that on record. Sure hope that nothing happens tho!

Jill