RE: a Grandson's first trip

[judyt0915]

My husband and I are going to WDW for our 4th anniversary in September. We'll be upgrading to annual passes so that we can visit numerous times over the next year. Our trips for the most part will just be the 2 of us. My stepchildren live in another state and we only have them on school breaks. And my daughter is a married adult with a 2 year old and another due in August. We know that we will plan at least one trip with my husband's teenage children. But, I would love a 3 day weekend... just Lolly, Pop and Carson.

My question is...
As a parent, how would you feel about missing your child's first Disney trip? Would you even entertain the idea of him (or her) going for the first time without you?

With the new baby and everything else going on in their lives, they wouldn't be able to go. I haven't mentioned it to her yet because I'm curious as how other parents would react.

Thanks!
J

 

[snowwhite84]

Well, my initial reaction after reading this was "never in a million years," lol. However, my mother knows that about me and it wouldn't occur to her to try. So it makes me think you must know something about your daughter that is making you consider it. If she's not a big Disney fan, maybe she wouldn't mind. We are taking my baby in Sept for her first trip and it is something I have been planning for since before I was even pregnant.

If you really want time alone with the grandchild, why not plan a little weekend trip to the beach? Or just wait a bit and take both grandkids when they are older. If the grandchild was, say, 7 and had never been, my opinion might be different. At that age even if I couldn't go I wouldn't want to deprive my child of the experience. But at 2, the trip is really more for the adults to get the experience of making those memories. Either way you sound like a great grandma!

 

[judyt0915]

You are correct. It could go either really good or really bad . LOL It's why I haven't said anything to her as of yet. My daughter likes Disney. Maybe not love, but definitely likes a lot Her first trip was for the middle school chorus competition, and I wouldn't have denied her that experience. BUT, she wasn't 2 either. Sigh, I don't know. We're only in our 40's, so I suppose we've got a few years left in us to do another Disney trip.

Thank you, we try to be awesome grandparents. We're lucky enough to live close, so we're able to see him all the time. And we often keep him for the weekend. Since he is the first grandchild, I do suspect we spoil him.

 

[ktlm]

As for me- I would be heartbroken and I can't imagine missing DD's first trip. She was just under 3 on her first trip and it was amazing. I love Disney though. It may not be the same for someone who likes, but doesn't love Disney. I do know parents who would be absolutely fine with sending a child to Disney with the grandparents on a first trip. I also know parents who can't really afford Disney who would love it if someone would take their child. I would mention it to them, but I would not push if they resist. Also, whatever you do, don't mention it in front of the grandchild (my Mom's favorite trick for forcing me to say yes to things)! Please- in your 40s? You have decades left! My Mom was in her 70s when she went with us to WDW. DH's parents were late 60's. The pre-school years are a great time for a Disney trip though! So magical!!!

 

[elaine amj]

Depends entirely on your daughter. If some trusted family members had offered to take my 2 yr old on a trip like that, I would have jumped at it with open arms and been super grateful that my kid gets to have such a fun experience - with or without me. Sure I'd be a bit sad to be missing out...but certainly not mad. At the end of the day, I'd be happy for my kid. Plus, i'd have some quiet time to focus on the baby - yay! IMO, a 3 yr old returning for a 2nd visit would likely react about the same way as a 2yr old going for a first visit. That said, I'm not overly sentimental about having to be the first person to see my kid experience something. I never even knew that was a thing until people mentioned it here on the Dis.

Sadly, my in laws were older and just couldn't handle little toddlers entirely on their own. My mother lives across the world and when she would visit every 1-2 years, we were always super excited to have the opportunity for 1 kid-free night.

 

[yankebabie]

I am a Nana taking my grandson to Disney this June for his first trip. When I originally approached my son about it he was like "no way" he wanted to be there for his first trip. But after discussing it further & him having time to think about it he came around because me & grandson (age 5) are best buds And he didn't want his son to miss out on such wonderful memories with his Nana So could go either way & could also change their way of thinking about it after initial answer

 

[snowwhite84]

I am a Nana taking my grandson to Disney this June for his first trip. When I originally approached my son about it he was like "no way" he wanted to be there for his first trip. But after discussing it further & him having time to think about it he came around because me & grandson (age 5) are best buds And he didn't want his son to miss out on such wonderful memories with his Nana So could go either way & could also change their way of thinking about it after initial answer

I think this is an example where age plays a factor. A five year old can really appreciate WDW, and as a parent I wouldn't want to take that experience away, even if I couldn't be there. But at 2, I think the experience impacts the adults more. The 2 year old won't care if they don't go to WDW.

OP, I would look at it this way: if you take the 2 year old, and get a photo of him meeting Mickey, then text it to your daughter, will she think "oh that's so great," or will she think "gosh, I wish I was there for that." I would go for it if it's something that will help her out as an expectant mother, not if it will make her a little sad.

 

[yankebabie]

I would go ahead and ask, all she can do is say no. No harm in asking

 

[Tink_83]

All you can do is ask and see how much this kind of a trip would mean to her but maybe have either a back up plan (like another trip or just taking him for a long weekend) as a part of the discussion. That way your daughter can consider the options and not feel like she's been presented with a "this or nothing" choice (like we'll take the grandson for a weekend so you can work on the new baby's room or have some alone time before the baby comes, but only if we get to take him to Disney)... Also, personally some of my best memories with my DD have been at Disney; so for me that would be hard. Probably harder now that she is older, honestly when she was 2 and went she loved it but I think it was 6 months later when she was about 3 1/2 (we went right before she turned 3 the first time) that it would have been awful for me to miss. Still, that first trip I had no clue she was a Merida fan until we passed Merida and she insisted on waiting in line to met her... as a parent that works full time I already feel like I miss out on so much of DD's childhood that it's hard to imagine missing another big first like this. Again, no harm in asking though (just don't do it in such a way that she feels like she has to accept that if she is going to get a weekend alone).

Also, if your only in your 40s you have MANY, MANY years ahead of you to enjoy Disney and other trips like that with your grandson. My grandparents on my father's side were in their early 50's when I was born and I grew up knowing only vibrant, energetic grandparents that were able to do so much with me. It is something I will always remember and treasure and as an adult I realize that many people don't get the same experience that I got. Anyway, my point is that over the next few decades you'll be able to do many things like this; and doing it when your grandchild can remember is also great because it becomes a memory that they will get to treasure as well. Good luck!

 

[yankebabie]

Well my mother passed away very young (55) from ovarian cancer. Never put off what you really want to do, when you want to do it, as we never know what life has in store for us. Learned that lesson the hard way. Hopefully your daughter lets you take your grandson to Disney

 

[judyt0915]

Thank you all for your thoughts! I think I'll casually throw it out there this weekend and see what her reaction is before deciding whether to make a serious conversation about it. I certainly don't want to make her feel like I'm pressuring her into anything, but I do want to leave that option open. I know Carson wouldn't feel like he's missing out on some great gift if he doesn't get to go this year. I know he'd have a great time, but he doesn't have a clue what WDW is at this point.

I hope we have many more years ahead of us to things with the grandchild(ren). At the same time, having had a stroke (freak accident) last year, I know how important it is to live life as if it's your last day.

 

[mjkacmom]

I'd let a close family member take my 2 year old to WDW for the first time. The grandparents will benefit more than the toddler, who won't remember it anyway. Of course, I'm one who doesn't think going for the first time is some monumental big deal.

 

[DisneyWorldbuff]

I just wanted to say that I love that your Grandma name is "Lolly". That's awesome. I hope I get a cool name like that one day too.

 

[judyt0915]

Of course, I'm one who doesn't think going for the first time is some monumental big deal.

That's my husband... "What's the big deal" LOL

I just wanted to say that I love that your Grandma name is "Lolly". That's awesome. I hope I get a cool name like that one day too.

Thank you. He already had a grammy, grandma and papa, nanny and pa, and a grandpa. I wanted something different (and younger sounding). Lolly and Pop met those requirements perfectly

 

[Tk0021]

So far I have only been to WDW twice ( I know crazy right) once as a five year old and last year me and my wife took our two girls. We are making our next trip this September and my parents are going. This is my first trip to WDW with my parents because my grandparents took me and my brother when I was five. My parents never seemed to care that they missed my first trip and even though they have made several trips later in life to WDW they just did not have the money to take us when we were young.

I think they were just happy we got to go.

 

[wonderstruck88]

My being there for my son's first Disney trip is a non-negotiable - I would absolutely be heartbroken if I missed his first time seeing it. Of course, it's not exactly the same - I absolutely love Disney World (we even honeymooned there!), I'm counting down until we get to take him, and he asks all the time when we can go (obviously he's older than your grandson - just turned four). Right now he's in his room re-enacting one of the castle shows he watched on Youtube. I can hear him saying, "Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls! Welcome to the Magic Kingdom, where dreams come true!"

So when my mother-in-law wanted to take him on his first Disney trip without us, it came across as pretty tone-deaf and I honestly was a bit offended she would even ask - she knows how important this is to my husband and me. So if your daughter does say no, I encourage you to drop it and just look forward to taking a trip together once they have done their first visit already. (Now that we finally know when we're going, my dad is very excitedly thinking of a family trip for all of us the year after - and that is something I'm looking forward to!)