Question for all the SAHM's

[deanainnc]

Have any of you went from being a SAHM to being a housewife? Meaning, how many of you left your jobs when the babies came along, with the intentions on returning to work when they went to school or got grown, but when the time came you were comfortable fiancilly (sp). Had IRA's and what not's funded really well for retirement and never went back to work?

Reason for asking my dd is 16 and ds is 11. I quit my job when dd was 2 and over the years I have worked subing in the local elementry school cafeteria. We are a homeschooling family so evently I quit the pt job and now I am home 100% of the time. My plan was to go back to work when youngest got out of high school but now dh says no. We will be completly debt free in less than 5 years (including mortgage). We have a nice nest egg for retirment that we are adding to virtual every day. DH is planning on retiring very early and wants to travel.

My question is what do you find to do with yourself after the kids are gone and you are home all day alone?

 

[Barb D]

My sister is a homeschool mom, too, and someone just recently asked her what she is going to do when her kids are all grown. One of the things she's planning on doing is teaching homeschool co-op classes.

 

[KristinBelle]

I plan on having a career after my kids are grown, I could never stay at home alone all day, I'd go bonkers.

 

[Alex2kMommy]

I quit my job in August 2005 when my eldest DS started kindergarten, so I'm not quite there yet.

But there seem to be a lot of SAHMs in my neighborhood, many with kids grown and gone. I know that some of them do some volunteer work, and some work part-time or on an as-needed basis. I myself am trying to get back into a hobby that I had little time for when the kids were babies.

If you're looking for something to fill your time, look into what you enjoy most: A hobby, volunteer work, go back to school for training if necessary and desired. And you don't have to get a job just for financial reasons; you could get a job doing something you love, and get paid for the pleasure of it.

 

[All American]

Hmmmm, I have always thought that being a SAHM and housewife go hand-in-hand.

While my child is still in diapers, my mom is finally able to be in the same boat as you. She, and alot of her friends, did some traveling and pursued hobbies and interests. My mom has always loved to sew. A few weeks ago she found a couple of local quilting groups and is learning new techniques and making friends along the way. Also, when I was in college, I remember that in several classes there were women whose children were grown and they just wanted to further their education.

If it were me, I'd sleep in past 6:30 and go from there. Good luck!

 

[Sherri]

Have any of you went from being a SAHM to being a housewife? Meaning, how many of you left your jobs when the babies came along, with the intentions on returning to work when they went to school or got grown, but when the time came you were comfortable fiancilly (sp). Had IRA's and what not's funded really well for retirement and never went back to work?

Reason for asking my dd is 16 and ds is 11. I quit my job when dd was 2 and over the years I have worked subing in the local elementry school cafeteria. We are a homeschooling family so evently I quit the pt job and now I am home 100% of the time. My plan was to go back to work when youngest got out of high school but now dh says no. We will be completly debt free in less than 5 years (including mortgage). We have a nice nest egg for retirment that we are adding to virtual every day. DH is planning on retiring very early and wants to travel.

My question is what do you find to do with yourself after the kids are gone and you are home all day alone?

Sounds kind of like my situation. The kids are 15 and 16. No realy financial need for me to go to work full time. I do work 3 hours a day as an aide at a school. I'm off all summer and for school Holidays.
I should clean the house when I get home from work at noon, what do I do instead? I DIS. Its amazing how it fills those empty hours until the kids are home. I also go out to eat with my friend when she if off from work. Sometimes I shop, and when I don't get my run in in the morning, I run in the afternoon. Mostly I miss the kids and spend my time wishing they were young again so we could go to the park.

 

[sugarpie]

I was talking with another SAHM about this, just yesterday. We both can't wait for our kids to be in school so we can go back to work. My husband can't wait either, he thinks I'll be slightly more sane if I get out of the house more.

 

[disykat]

I've vascillated between working part time and not at all since my kids started school. Some years I substitute teach so I work only when I want, other years I commit myself to a part time position. I still am having trouble deciding which I like better.

When I'm home, I'm able to keep busy but miss the routine of working and the connections I make there. I also find that with volunteer work it tends to go in cycles. It's super busy and then all of a sudden the event or whatever is over and I think, "now what do I do?" until I get immersed in something else.

When I'm working, I feel bad when the kids are sick. I worry that they feel like they're not my priority leaving them home alone, even though they are old enough to be left. I feel bad asking DH to use leave to tend to the kids (I don't have sick leave accumulated like he does) when his career is our "bread and butter". I still have some regular volunteer commitments I try to keep up, all my kid's activities, plus household work. I think I'm happier working because I really do enjoy it, but sometimes it's very busy!

I do know I have no desire to work full time while my kids are still home, but I haven't totally ruled it out. Sometimes I wish I would just make up my mind to stay home and schedule myself accordingly. I think being able to travel when you want and set your own schedule is a great perk of not working.

 

[Beth76]

Just because you don't need the money doesn't mean you can't work. If you want to get a job then you should. It doesn't have to be a full-time career. Maybe teach preschool if you miss being around little ones.

 

[golfgal]

Our kids are in 9th grade and 6th grade and I just went back to work after being home since DS14 was born. In our old town I was involved in enough, had a lot of friends to do things with, etc. that I was pretty busy. After we moved I spent a lot of time on the DIS and didn't have much else to occupy my time so I got a job. Had we stayed in our old town I would have continued to stay home but I was bored here so I got a job.

 

[mytwotinks]

My kids are still young, but I don't plan on returning to work. My dh will be about ready to retire when dd#2 graduates from high school. He will probably work part time (paramedic/fireman) after retirement, but that will be very flexible so we will have a lot of freedom.

I don't really worry about how I will fill my time. If I think I would enjoy it, I might get a part time retail job. I will finally get a chance to work on some of the hobbies that I love but don't usually have the time to work on. I would love to be able to really become an active member in the women's ministry at my church. I plan on travelling with dh and my sisters. I don't really think that you have to stay home and become a hermit just because you don't work.

If you would enjoy a job, I would get one. It is much easier to enjoy a job when you know that your family doesn't depend on your income for their dinner! You can take any job you love.

 

[bevtoy]

While my kids are at school and I work part time and go to college.

 

[rigs32]

A "nice nest egg" might not carry you through a long retirement that includes a lot of travel. If you sock all of your income away for retirement, it might make those years that much more comfortable - especially if one or both of you lives for a long time.

 

[MrsPete]

A "nice nest egg" might not carry you through a long retirement that includes a lot of travel. If you sock all of your income away for retirement, it might make those years that much more comfortable - especially if one or both of you lives for a long time.

I was thinking the same thing. I'd like to KNOW that DH and I were set for a comfortable retirement and that we could enjoy some traveling, etc. Those extra years of extra income could make the difference in "making it" and being comfortable -- especially for families like mine, in which the women tend to live very long lives.

 

[beattyfamily]

I'm a SAHM and this year for the first time my girls are both in school from 9:00a to 3:00p. I keep busy with errands, my five Toy Poodles, volunteering at Church and school, taking care of the house and DISing, of course.

I will not go back to work until they are at an age where they can be alone on sick days, holidays, vacations and our summer vacation as I wouldn't have anyone to watch them on those days. I just don't know if and when that might happen and if it did I'd only work the hours they're in school. DH doesn't want me to go back to work really. He is very supportive of my being a SAHM and a homemaker.

I may also go back to school and maybe work from home. Time will tell.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

My question is what do you find to do with yourself after the kids are gone and you are home all day alone?

Not a SAHM mom anymore....got a part time job in the school cafeteria in Nov.

However, I would clean, computer, video games , etc....I always found something to do.
I guess if the kids were gone-gone, moved out, I would do something part time or volunteer.
Not sure which.

 

[EthansMom]

I've been a SAHM since DS5 was born. I'm not sure if/when I'll go back to work. DH makes enough money that every dollar I make would be taxed over 43% (28% federal tax + 7% state tax + 6.2% SSI tax + 1.45% medicare tax).

Add in the fact that I would have to find a job that allowed me to get the kids on the bus in the morning, get the kids off the bus in afternoon, and stay home with them when they're sick. Oh, and DH works lots of OT and does some business trips, so my job would probably need to have no business trips (which was part of my previous jobs).

And I'm not so sure that DH would be willing to pick up half of my current responsibilities if I went back to work full-time.

I'm not sure if my working full-time would be best for me and my family. I'm taking a wait-and-see attitude. In the meantime, I'm using what free time I have to volunteer at the grade school.

 

[mytwotinks]

It isn't as if when my kids are home that I am holding their hands and playing games with them the whole day. Now that my kids are getting to where they entertain themselves (9 and almost 5) most of my day is spent taking care of the house. When they are no longer home during the day (next year) I will do all of my grocery/walmart/target and all of that other no fun errand running while they are at school so they won't have to tag along for that. I will find worthwhile things to do with my days. I actually think it is rude when someone asks a mom whose youngest child is starting Kind. "What are you going to do with yourself?"

My neighbors actually tease me about how much "running around" I do. I think that people really feel sorry for women who don't work. I don't think it is for everyone, but for those of us who enjoy it, it's great!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

My neighbors actually tease me about how much "running around" I do. I think that people really feel sorry for women who don't work. I don't think it is for everyone, but for those of us who enjoy it, it's great!

For Pete's sake, isn't that the truth. I loved being at home, was never "bored"...
My neighbors would think I was crazy or "nerdy".... because I like "electronics", science, & history, etc....

 

[Amy&Dan]

Interesting thread. This is all I have been thinking about lately. My kids are 10 and 12 and I haven't worked in 13 years (quit when I was put on bedrest during first pregnancy). In most ways I am very happy at home. However, suddenly, I went from having a large group of SAHM friends to being the only one still left at home. For now we are fine financially okay but I know that to boost up our retirement nest egg, I will likely need to go back to work at some point. I really find my harshest critics to be women my own age, who used to stay home but don't anymore. You'd think they of all people would know how busy and fulfilling my life is for the most part. Right now, I am just taking a wait and see attitude. Also, my kids aren't old enough to be home alone when they are sick or off track (year round schooling) and I help take care of my mom who has cancer and Alzheimers. So for now I stay put. But I do wonder what I'll even do by the time I go back to work. Probably work at Barnes and Noble with a bunch of teenagers.