Question about gift registry etiquette

[Rhonda]

My son is getting married soon, and they just signed up with a couple of store gift registries. The stores gave them those little cards to stick in invitations.

My question is -- do they just go in the shower invitations, or is it ok to put them in the wedding invitations too? I don't remember ever getting a wedding invitation with a gift registry card in it. But, it's been awhile since I've been to a wedding I guess, and maybe I just don't remember.

Thanks!

 

[Strawberry Lemonade]

I've always received them in the shower invitation only.

 

[aprilgail2]

I have never gotten one in a wedding invitation, only shower invites.....but around here you just don't give a gift at a wedding, its always money.

 

[goodeats]

Definitely a faux pas to include them with the actual wedding invitation. The bridesmaids are supposed to spread the word. And really most people know to just look it up on-line.

But it is proper to include the registry on a shower invitation, since that is where you 'shower' the bride with gifts.

 

[SDFgirl]

From what I've heard, it's a big no-no to put the cards in the wedding invite. Perfectly acceptable for the shower invite.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

I actually had my shower invitations printed with where we were registered.

 

[Tracey1974]

Shower only

 

[mbw12]

I've only received them in shower invitations. Seems sort of tacky to include in a wedding invitation.....

 

[skiwee1]

I actually had my shower invitations printed with where we were registered.

You had your own shower invites made? Isn't that what a friend is supposed to do? Did you throw your own shower?

 

[kerrynic78]

I received a wedding invite the other day with a registry card in it. I have been to tons of wedding and this is the first time I received one with a wedding invite, I was always told that it was to go with the shower invite only.

 

[Beth76]

It's my personal opinion that they don't belong in any invitation--shower, wedding or otherwise. They are becoming more "accepted" for shower invites. However, NEVER in a wedding invitation. The reason the stores give them out is because it's free advertising for them.

 

[snoopy]

It's my personal opinion that they don't belong in any invitation--shower, wedding or otherwise. They are becoming more "accepted" for shower invites. However, NEVER in a wedding invitation. The reason the stores give them out is because it's free advertising for them.

I agree.

 

[Goofyzgurl]

You know the last two wedding invites that I've had, I've gotten little cards with all the places the couple are registered. It was helpful to me, but I didn't know it was a faux pas. I guess they didn't know either?

 

[kadaten]

It's my personal opinion that they don't belong in any invitation--shower, wedding or otherwise. They are becoming more "accepted" for shower invites. However, NEVER in a wedding invitation. The reason the stores give them out is because it's free advertising for them.

Anyone invited to either function should be close enough to the host or family to ask "where are they registered?" if they want gift suggestions. If I don't know from speaking to the bride/groom themselves, I've always asked the shower hostess when I called to RSVP. For the wedding, if I didn't know I'd call and ask either the bride/groom or another family member (whoever was my link to the wedding).

 

[disykat]

I also think they shouldn't be included in any invitations. However, I can see it being somewhat acceptable in shower invitations because it is not the bride and groom doing the inviting - it's the shower host. For the wedding invites it would be like saying "come to my party and bring me a present" the shower invite would be more like " I'm throwing a shower for .... and I know she likes...".

 

[Aimeedyan]

More acceptable in shower invites, simply because that's the purpose of a shower, but definitely not acceptable in a wedding invite.

We got those cards when we registered but I chunked them all - I can't keep up with them when I get invitations in the mail anyways. For some of my showers, the hostesses printed on the invite where I was registered so all the info was there on one page. A few hostesses opted to not include registry info and guests just called if they cared to know.

 

[twojo21]

registry cards can go in the shower invitation only. the registry info should be spread word of mouth & on their wedding website.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

You had your own shower invites made? Isn't that what a friend is supposed to do? Did you throw your own shower?

You know, when I came back to visit this thread, I realized that's what it sounded like. No, I didn't do my shower invitations, the hostesses did. Sorry about that.

 

[Kahana-ri]

We placed registry cards in the shower invitations. For the wedding everyone gave cash.

 

[Rhonda]

Thank you everyone for your replies! You all confirmed what I was thinking already -- we'll let the bridesmaids put them in the shower invitations, but it would definitely be tacky to put them in the wedding invites!

Thanks again!