Question about Breaking Dawn

[lovetoscrap]

My daughters book is here and I just opened the box. I havent' read this series and she ordered the book from Amazon herself with help from DH.


I just read the back of the book and . My daughter is 12 and we don't allow books that are extremely violent or have sexual content. We are a pretty conservative family. Based on the back of the book I am certainly worried about sexual content.

Can someone tell me if what the content of this book is like??? I don't need the storyline or spoilers, I just need to know if this is really appropriate for my 12 year old.

 

[VirtuallyMe]

My daughters book is here and I just opened the box. I havent' read this series and she ordered the book from Amazon herself with help from DH.


I just read the back of the book and . My daughter is 12 and we don't allow books that are extremely violent or have sexual content. We are a pretty conservative family. Based on the back of the book I am certainly worried about sexual content.

Can someone tell me if what the content of this book is like??? I don't need the storyline or spoilers, I just need to know if this is really appropriate for my 12 year old.

There is definitely implied sex scenes in the book- but nothing graphic.
There is not a lot of violence- less in this book than in the previous 3 in the serries.
But there is a very graphic birth scene in the book.

I'd have no problem with a mature middle schooler or older child reading the book but am always amazed to hear about 10-11 yo's reading them.

I tried to get my 16yo dd to read them- and my 10yo expressed and interest and I told her not yet.

There are so many books out there that you wouldn't think were inappropriate but have some questionable scenes- my dtr was given a book of the first 3 princess diary books by meg cabot- I happened to read it before she did- and then said I'd prefer her to wait awhile (the books aren't quite as Disney- as the movies)

maybe you ought to read the serries for yourself- so you can answer any questions- and let her do it...

 

[Jennasis]

Perhaps you should read it first. I wouldn't let a 12 year old read this particular book...knowingly...but at 12 I myself got my hands on stuff way worse than BD and I turned out ok!

 

[RUDisney]

I read Twilight out loud to my kids and 1/2 of New Moon to them, then we got too busy (well, they did, at least.) In the fall, I hope to pick up New Moon again with them and then to read Eclipse to them.

I'm not so sure I will read Breaking Dawn to them. My DD is 12 and is naive about "stuff". I don't want to read about "stuff" out loud to my 13 yo DS. I'm not shy about discussing sex with my kids. I just don't want to read, even though it's tame and more innuendo than anything, about Edward and Bella bumping uglies. I would let either of them read it to themselves, though.

As a matter of fact, I have to email my friend who I sucked into this series to let her know to read BD before her DD does. She can use her best judgment on whether to let her read it yet or not.

 

[JoyG]

Eh, I don't think Breaking Dawn is appropriate for a 12 year old. The other books were really about first love in an innocent sort of way. This book is more mature...marriage, sex, pregnancy, there's a gruesome birth and death scene.

 

[lovetoscrap]

Thanks for the input. I am a bit sick to my stomach about this. She has been looking forward to this book for months and if I tell her she can't read it she will be devistated. It sounds like a book I probably wouldn't normally let her read.

But I have a feeling that even if I say no, she will end up sneaking a copy of it at school and just read it there so I am not sure I would accomplish anything by denying it now. (yep, there are trust and honesty issues!) Guess I need to talk to DH, and maybe have a talk with her about the book content before I let her read it. At least use it to start a discussion.

I really am not into this type of book at all which is why I haven't read them. They don't appeal to me.

 

[lizardqueen]

For what it's worth, my BFF's DD10 and DD12 have read this entire series. They finished Breaking Dawn before my friend and I did. My friend is very open with her children about all things, they ask and she explains. Neither of them brought up any questions about anything "inappropriate" that was in this book. But you know your DD best and your "rules" for books with sexual content and there is alot of it in this book (not in graphic detail at all).

 

[MomofKatie]

There is very slight, romantisized innuendo concerning after-marriage lovemaking. There is absolutely nothing at all graphic- literally, the wedding night scene was a "he hugged me, then we went further..." and voila, it's the next morning. Now, Edward and Bella do discuss what happened the night before, but in very non-specific terms (mostly, he worries that he hurt her, since he is so strong).

There are a few more lovemaking scenes in the book, but they are pretty much more of the same. The most graphic scene in the book was a childbirth one (it is, however, nothing like real birth- it is, after all, a supernatural child being born). As long as your DD knows the "facts of life", and knows that what is described in the book isn't what really happens, she should be fine.

 

[Mickeyluver37]

There are so many books out there that you wouldn't think were inappropriate but have some questionable scenes- my dtr was given a book of the first 3 princess diary books by meg cabot- I happened to read it before she did- and then said I'd prefer her to wait awhile (the books aren't quite as Disney- as the movies)

maybe you ought to read the serries for yourself- so you can answer any questions- and let her do it...

Yeah, I was a little shocked at the content of these books. My 11 y.o. has read most of them already- my fault- grabbed a last minute basket stuffer without really looking into it. How bad could Princess Diaries be? Anyway, Amazon has some really lengthy reviews on why these books are NOT appropriate, maybe there are some reviews on the books the OP is looking at.

 

[kristilew]

I've only read the first one, so can't speak to the others. The reason I wouldn't let dd read them wasn't the sex, it was the shallowness! Within moments of sighting this boy, the main girl is hopelessly in love. She NEEDS him. she hopes he NEVER LEAVES her. She wants him FOREVER. Whine whine whine, poor girl, no self esteem until she is loved by a boy. Oh, so helpless. Even her attempts to be strong and independent just require rescue by a big strong male.

UGH! Not the ideals I want internalized around here!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

My 11yodd is reading them after sheer boredom because I read them.
She is not naive about sex. Plus she is a writer of gruesome details. She does it well though.
She is on a writers role playing board about wolves.

That being said she wants to be an author and is very good with natural talent.

 

[lovetoscrap]

Well, guess who is bawling her eyes out in her room?

I haven't decided yes or no yet--DH and I are still discussing it. But I sat her down to ask her if she realizes this book is different from the others and to discuss how it fits into our values of what we allow and don't allow. I told her we are still thinking and she will have to be patient until we make the decision.

The fact that she ran off to her room crying and is throwing an all out fit up there is a big part of the reason that I feel she is just not mature enough for books with mature subjects. She is really an immature 12 year old, and not very worldly. I try to be open and honest with her about all topics but she is "squeamish" and doesn't want to talk about sex or or boy/girl topics at all when I bring it up. She puts her hands over her ears and says "I don't want to know! I don't want to talk about it!"

I wish there was a G version of the book! This is certainly when being the parent stinks.

 

[kristilew]

Get her the Uglies/Pretties/Specials books to make it up to her/distract her. They are "in" without going too far, and much better tween role models.

Good for you for sticking to your guns. I teach classes on talking to kids about sex: studies show that when teen girls read this stuff, they think it's going to be so wonderful. Then, when they start to experiment, and it's not as blissful/easy/great as the books or movies make it seem, they don't have the experience or maturity to assume the books are wrong. They think there must be something wrong with themselves. So they go further, experiment more, trying to get it right. And they continue to believe they are somehow "not right" or lacking. It becomes a downward spiral. All because we let them absorb this stuff way too early.

Thump, that's me stepping off my soapbox. Sorry!

But really, I wish there were more moms like you!

 

[Maleficent13]

Well, guess who is bawling her eyes out in her room?

I haven't decided yes or no yet--DH and I are still discussing it. But I sat her down to ask her if she realizes this book is different from the others and to discuss how it fits into our values of what we allow and don't allow. I told her we are still thinking and she will have to be patient until we make the decision.

The fact that she ran off to her room crying and is throwing an all out fit up there is a big part of the reason that I feel she is just not mature enough for books with mature subjects. She is really an immature 12 year old, and not very worldly. I try to be open and honest with her about all topics but she is "squeamish" and doesn't want to talk about sex or or boy/girl topics at all when I bring it up. She puts her hands over her ears and says "I don't want to know! I don't want to talk about it!"

I wish there was a G version of the book! This is certainly when being the parent stinks.

I am not disagreeing with most of what you write, but I did want to address the bolding. I am 30+ and last summer if something had prevented me from reading the final installment of the HP series, perhaps for several years, I'd have cried and pitched a fit as well.

Readers of all ages can be very passionate about their books, and from what I understand this series is very HP like in regards to its following. At least cut her a break on her reaction to the disappointment.

 

[MrsPete]

I'm conservative too, and I was fine with these books -- they continue in the same vein as the previous books: Bella and Edward are obviously very much in love, they love kissing each other -- lots of very romantic scenes with phrases like "then the world stopped" and "I forgot to breathe" -- but they do not have sex until they are married.

SPOILERS AHEAD:




Once they are married, it's clear that they are having sex, but the books do not describe the sex scenes. On their honeymoon they arrived at their destination, and Edward invited Bella for a midnight swim. She goes to take a shower, then she goes out to the beach. He's already in the water up to his waist, she drops her towel and joins him. They say a few lovey-dovey things, and suddenly it's the next morning and she's waking up in bed. Clearly they had sex, but we, the audience, aren't invited to watch.

Later in the book Emmett teases Edward and Bella about their sex life -- things like while he watches a ball game he comments, "At least someone in this house scored". Very realistic brother-like teasing.

Also, once the baby is born and Bella is healthy again, they're very clearly having sex, but again, the reader sees the couple -- remember, they're married -- go away to their own bedroom, kiss a bit, then suddenly it's much later. It's no secret what went on, but the personal details are left out.

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

Without having read the book (I might read the series once I finish Harry Potter), I would have to say that I would be wary of allowing a girl like that to read anything with sexual innuendo. If she won't let you talk to her about it, it is obvious that she is not ready for it. Perhaps you could sit her down and tell her that if she wants to read the book, she needs to sit down and have a discussion with you about the facts of life. If she doesn't want to hear it, she doesn't get to read it. At least that way she is getting the sex, kissing, childbirth stuff from you first and not from a book or from friends.

 

[karebear06]

I'm sure there are worse things she can hear from her school friends than what is in the book. Maybe you can discuss the book together and answer any questions she has while she is reading it. To me it sounds very mild. I know when I was twelve, I knew more than my parents thought I did.

 

[celerystalker]

I think before you decide you should read the honeymoon scene. As eeyore's butterfly said, this might be the perfect opportunity to talk about sex with her.
The fact that bella and edward waited until they were married and were prepared for it not to be great are both good things to teach her - real love waits and doesn't feel pressure to do something they're not ready for.

Perhaps using the book as a bargaining tool will help - "Yes, you can read the book, but first we have to have an adult discussion about sex and what it means."

I understand what kristie is saying and never really thought about it before - but honestly I'd rather kids learn about sex through books rather than from their schoolmates or television.

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

I was really on the fence about reading these books due to all the descriptions of sexual tension, but knowing that they waited until they were married has clinched it for me. I figure if I'm teaching middle school language arts I better be aware of what my students are reading! I'll have to pick these up as soon as I finish re reading Harry Potter.

 

[Sandy321]

OK, I know this may not be what other parents do, and I may be thought of by others as a "horrible" mother... but...

My 11 yr dd is reading the series. She is a voracious reader. LAst year she begged to read the DaVinci Code, I sat down with her, and we discusses the topics of the book, why some people have a problem with the book, and what did she think of that... and then she read the first chapter outloud with me, and again, more discussion.... One thing I told her is I often read romance novels, but, (and she has witnessed me doing this so it came up naturally) I skip pages - sometimes a chapter - and I gave her that permission... she has read books with "drugs" in them (Down the Rabbit Hole, about steroid use) It opens discussion. Last night's talk was about "cult leaders" and how can people be so gullable to follow a "JOnes" and "drink koolaid knowing it was poison"

Have you watched some TV shows? Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants? Secret Life of an American Teenager? Discussion - because what you said in your first post speaks VOLUMES...

She will probably get a hold of a copy and read it anyway.

Build trust and respect, give her the book, and DISCUSS, have open communication - esp talk about this book is FICTION - gross her out by talking about "real life"...

This is important to her, and she is important to you - IF you truly believe you cant stop her from reading it anyway, then dont you want her to read it in a way she feels safe to discuss it with you?

Good Luck, she is your child, and you get to decide how to raise her, but having 2 kids now growd (23, 20) there are some things I cant control, but i want them to be able to talk and communicate with me - I dont want to "burn bridges" (not that one book would ever do this to you!)

ITA with a previous poster about comparing it to the last Harry Potter book -

Good Luck, its hard being mom, making hard choices for your family!!