Question about Baby Showers

[ferrytale]

This may be more "etiquette" than budget, but I figured I would ask you all you opinions. Is it "okay" to throw a shower for your 2nd baby? I thought it was ok if there was a few years btw or you are having a girl after a boy or vice versa.
SIL is pregnant with their 2nd child(a girl) their first was a boy who is 3 1/2. Her family is throwing her a baby shower for this baby as well. They did have a shower for my nephew, but they were living with her parents at the time so they didn't have a TON of stuff for him, including a crib/dresser/changing table. They now have their own place and baby will have her own room.
Now, my DH's grandmother and aunt are having a fit that they are throwing her a shower. They think that one was enough and she doesn't need it. They were not asked to help with anything, and it is not a fancy thing, just at SIL's mom's house. It isn't a $$ issue for them, as the grandparents do not have any issues after years of saving and smart planning.
Personally, I don't care, I think it's nice they are having something for them. We ARE on a budget, and can still afford to get some small things - and I know that SIL won't mind that it is the though that count.

 

[aka-mad4themouse]

I think that you'll find that many traditionalists will feel that more than one baby shower is unnecessary and lacking in etiquette. I wouldn't hold it against the aunts and grandma for the way that they feel. They are a product of their generation.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

I think that you'll find that many traditionalists will feel that more than one baby shower is unnecessary and lacking in etiquette. I wouldn't hold it against the aunts and grandma for the way that they feel. They are a product of their generation.

I agree, and I agree with how they feel too. There seems to be a lot of that going on tho...2nd (and 3rd and 4th...) baby showers. I've even read on the DIS that THE BABY will feel bad not seeing pictures of a baby shower in their baby book for them if the older sib had one.

 

[kaytieeldr]

I Googled baby shower etiquette and - surprisingly - the first three sites that came up all indicated it's fine to have a shower for each baby.

Now, keep in mind, these were baby shower-related sites, and not general etiquette sites - but, I guess it's okay... and of course, I'm not the arbiter of what's socially acceptable

 

[1PrincessMomma1]

I think that you'll find that many traditionalists will feel that more than one baby shower is unnecessary and lacking in etiquette. I wouldn't hold it against the aunts and grandma for the way that they feel. They are a product of their generation.

I'm young and feel this way. That's how I was raised.

 

[kaytieeldr]

I've even read on the DIS that THE BABY will feel bad not seeing pictures of a baby shower in their baby book for them if the older sib had one.

You're joking, right? After me and my brother, my mother never even had time to start baby books for the rest of the kids - never mind what's in or not in them! !

 

[bekkiz]

My feeling is, if someone else is throwing the party, should you really expect the mother to be to say no? That would be rude as well. I can see having an issue if the guest of honor is also the hostess, but honestly, if her family wants to have a fun time getting together to celebrate, I guess I just don't see the problem.

 

[honugirl]

Technically, from an etiquette standpoint, there should only be one baby shower. Nowadays, no one really goes by that and you'll see showers for the 4th, 5th, and 6th child. It's also a breach of etiquette to have any member of the family throw the shower, but no one goes by that either.

 

[mjkacmom]

2nd showers are rare here.

 

[luvmy3]

I only know one person who had a second baby shower and that was because there was 12 years between the 1st and second. They tried unsuccesfully for years to get preganant and everone was overjoyed when it happened to them. I guess they just aren't common with the people I know.
Personally, I don't think a shower for a second child is needed. I do always send a gift when another baby is born so I don't see anything wrong with people sending things to a mother when she's expecting #2,3,4 etc but I don't think they need the whole big party and big gifts like strollers, high chairs and stuff.

 

[MinnieMe87]

Second showers are not rare around here and I think they're perfectly fine to have. I guess my etiquette isn't the greatest!

 

[Bluestars]

I don't see anything wrong with having a shower for a 2nd baby. I look at it as more of a celebration of a birth. If someone has a problem with it, they don't have to go.

 

[CharityLynn]

Around here we don't have showers for babies after the first one, or at least we don't in my family. I ahve heard of some who had a second but it was a diapers/wipes sort of shower, just the necessities.

A cousin of mine just had her 3rd child and her friends threw her a third baby shower. Like someone else said you're probably not going to say no if someone wants to throw one.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

For anything past a first shower, my wife and I limit our gift a great deal.

 

[aprilgail2]

I don't see anything wrong with having a shower for a 2nd baby. I look at it as more of a celebration of a birth. If someone has a problem with it, they don't have to go.

Showers are more gifts to get ready for a baby- not celebrating a babys birth- that is done after the baby is born and everyone that comes to see the baby brings a gift. Second showers are tacky gift grabs (just like engagement parties IMO)

 

[Bluestars]

Showers are more gifts to get ready for a baby- not celebrating a babys birth- that is done after the baby is born and everyone that comes to see the baby brings a gift. Second showers are tacky gift grabs (just like engagement parties IMO)

If you feel that way, the polite thing to do would be to decline the invitation. If other people enjoy doing something, I say let them do it. I don't look at it the same way. I see it as buying a special gift for a new baby. I don't feel resentment at all. If I did, I wouldn't go.

Also, unless the baby is born the year after the first, many people give away or sell their baby items. My kids were born 6 years apart. People at my work surprised me with a baby shower for my 2nd child, who was a boy (my first was a girl). I didn't have any baby stuff or boy clothes. I thought it was nice and saved all of the cards and put them in a baby book. I'm sorry some people find that annoying. I hope that anyone at that time who found it annoying would have at least had the decency to not attend the shower.

 

[MinnieMe87]

If you feel that way, the polite thing to do would be to decline the invitation. If other people enjoy doing something, I say let them do it. I don't look at it the same way. I see it as buying a special gift for a new baby. I don't feel resentment at all. If I did, I wouldn't go.

Also, unless the baby is born the year after the first, many people give away or sell their baby items. My kids were born 6 years apart. People at my work surprised me with a baby shower for my 2nd child, who was a boy (my first was a girl). I didn't have any baby stuff or boy clothes. I thought it was nice and saved all of the cards and put them in a baby book. I'm sorry some people find that annoying. I hope that anyone at that time who found it annoying would have at least had the decency to not attend the shower.

I agree!

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

...I'm sorry some people find that annoying. I hope that anyone at that time who found it annoying would have at least had the decency to not attend the shower.

It is understandable when the children are spread out like that. By then, you may have already given away many of your baby things. However, implying that someone that attended your shower so as not to stand out as someone who didn't attend your shower is indecent is pretty narrow minded, don't you think?

Not everyone that goes to a party or buys a person a gift does so "gladly", but even so, they deserve thanks. They have still given of themselves...

 

[okeydokey]

I turned down offers from friends who were going to throw me a shower for my second. I felt it was greedy and tacky. I knew that if anyone wanted to come visit us and bring a gift after he was born, they would do so.

 

[Disney Ron]

... a shower for my second. I felt it was greedy and tacky. I knew that if anyone wanted to come visit us and bring a gift after he was born, they would do so.

I am expecting my second this June. I feel the same as this poster. More than one baby shower just tacky.

Mrs. Disney Ron