Q for mom's of tweens

[CanadianPaco]

DD started her period a couple of months ago. She ended up missing a day of school because of how rough she was feeling. It happened again today. I want to be so supportive and so caring but I think back to when I started.... My mom never let me miss a day. Ever. Was she being too hard? Insensitive? Am I being too soft? Over sensitive? What are your thoughts?
Thx

 

[brittsmum1998]

I haven't let Britt miss a day of school. I have given her tylenol before school. She has gone to the nurse for tylenol for cramping. She has never known that its been an option. Its just a fact of life. I'm curious if I've been too hard on her now .

 

[DVCLiz]

Get her prescription strength Motrin and have her start taking it as soon as she thinks she is starting. It made all the difference for me when it was first available and for my daughters.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Since she just started and school is ending I would cut her slack. At the same time talk it over with her ped/doc and then she can get the rundown of what to do to help herself.

Currently my dd takes Pamprin on the bad day and then is fine after that. Also we keep telling her to lay off the caffeine as it makes cramping worse.

Need to figure out her strategy for getting herself to cope with her symptoms.

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

My DD is graduating next week. She got her cycle in 6th. grade. Not one day was she excused from school for her cycle. I sent her off with enough pads and motrin...

If my daughter would have been vomiting or such from the pain, I would be taking her to the drs. and yes I would have kept her home, but just feeling yucky and having cramps, absolutely not.

And I had horrible endometriosis. My mother took me to the drs. got me pain meds and off to school I went.

 

[cheermom1]

I never let my dd miss b/c of that either. ever! I give her pampren and off to school she goes. now my sister always has one day a month that it is so bad that she throws up but mom only let her stay home a couple of times for that and that was it. I look at it as a fact of life and the faster they learn to deal with it the better. But I certainly don't get upset at someone else for letter their dd stay home, not my business, all I can do is tell you what I did.

 

[HSMndLKfan92]

Medication makes life a lot easier.

 

[DisneyFan32WI]

My daughters have never missed school because of their period.

 

[golfgal]

I think you are being too soft. Have her start taking ibuprofen a couple days before she gets her period and take it for the first couple days ON SCHEDULE, even if it doesn't hurt and she will be just fine. Tylenol doesn't help as much as ibuprofen. I never missed school because of my period nor has my DD. I did have a girl on my floor freshman year in college who would "writhe" in pain every time she got her period and would refuse to take anything though. I wouldn't want to have my DD end up like that.

 

[AKL_Megs]

IMO, she can't miss school for cramps. I would have missed a lot of school! But at the same time, at 27, my cramps aren't any better now, and while I would LOVE to take a day off every month when Flo comes, I can't. I'd miss a lot of work, and a lot of life! What I DO do is take meds as soon as I know Flo is on her way.

(I get a foot cramp, bad hair, hot flashes, and a dislike for EVERYONE When that happens, I reach for the Advil, because as bad as my PMS is, my cramps are worse!)

I also take an Advil as soon as I know it's coming. I take another every 4 hours, and I rarely have (or feel) cramps.

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

I am in the minority. I have severe endometrosis so I have a lot of sympathy when my DD15 says her cramps are really bad. She has never asked to take a day off school but has asked for me to take her in an hour late or so waiting for the morning meds to kick in. Not often, but a few times. Usually she will take her morning meds and take a long hot shower then I run her up. It is only on day one but while she does not have endometrosis I know that when mine are really bad it's all I can think about and no sense her being at school unfocused when she can stay home and feel better then go in.

I suppose if a kid is taking advantage of it then I'd out an end to it, but my DD has only done it a handful of times in 3.5 years and never more then for maybe 2 hours max, so when she says they are really bad I believe her. If she said she needed the whole day I'd probably say OK as long as it wasn't on a regular basis, but I can't see her asking.

 

[jamie&Greg]

Gosh, IDK. It's not a good habit to get into but maybe she has an extremly rough period. Mine was so bad when I was younger (still is) I use to miss days of school for it - heck I still stay home sometimes now when I can. I would take her to a dr. but be flexable! I think I have a pretty high pain tolarance. I have worked right after surgiers ect. put my cramps can get up to a 9 on a 1-10 scale at times.

 

[Sparx]

I would put her on a midol regimen and if she says its still really painful she might need to see a doctor. I've definitely had cramps that made me want to go back to bed, but if she's REALLY unable to function with medication it might be something more serious like a previous poster said.

 

[binny]

My DD is graduating next week. She got her cycle in 6th. grade. Not one day was she excused from school for her cycle. I sent her off with enough pads and motrin...

If my daughter would have been vomiting or such from the pain, I would be taking her to the drs. and yes I would have kept her home, but just feeling yucky and having cramps, absolutely not.

And I had horrible endometriosis. My mother took me to the drs. got me pain meds and off to school I went.

yeah but they cant just take medicine with them anymore. At least not here.

Mine has missed a day due to this. I missed a lot some people have a *really* hard time with their cycles and have a lot of pain and discomfort. I wouldnt let it be a monthly occurance (missing school I mean) but especially while her body is getting used to it I would cut her some slack Just MHO though

 

[RF536]

If this is not an every month occurance, then I would cut her some slack if you believe she is really in pain. When I was in jr. and HS I would get really bad cramps and had a really heavy flow. So on occasion I did stay home from school or came home if things got really bad. I ended up having to take Precription Aleave and also had Tylenol w/ codine. Some days I my flow was so heavy on top of the cramps that had to wear both a super heavy flow tampon and pad and still go through them in the hr I was in class.

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

yeah but they cant just take medicine with them anymore. At least not here.
Mine has missed a day due to this. I missed a lot some people have a *really* hard time with their cycles and have a lot of pain and discomfort. I wouldnt let it be a monthly occurance (missing school I mean) but especially while her body is getting used to it I would cut her some slack Just MHO though

That's for sure, with a Zero Tollerance even a cough drop gets you out of school for 3 days.

 

[simba20]

It all depends on if it's just cramps or a heavy flow.

I had really heavy flows and was too embarressed to go to school sometimes for fear of it soaking through my pants.

I never told my mom because I was too embarressed to talk to her about it.

I suffered until I went off to college and then went to the health center on campus when my period caused me to miss a week of classes, and I knew I couldn;t go through that any more (I also found out that I was very anemic at that time).

Anyway, I'd talk to her about it. She may have all the "facts" about how her body works, but could have something else occuring like I did that she's too embarressed to mention -- yes, my fear was being hauled off to "one of those doctors" atthe age of 13. Be open and available for her to share the information if something else was occuring.

 

[minkydog]

Oh man, as a school nurse I see this aaaaalll the time. Certain girls will come to me every 28 days like clockwork. They don't want meds, they just want to go home. And their moms come and get them. I don't get that. They're going to be having periods until they turn 50 or so, so they're going to have to learn to be prepared for them. Occasionally I'll have one that I know has severe, truly debilitating cramps which cause vomiting. And I have gone to bat for them with their parents to get them to take those girls to the doctor for treatment.

My own DD17 has been having periods since she was 10. She's very irregular and she never knows when it's going to show up, so she goes prepared everyday. I have had to pick her up on a couple of occasions due to vomiting & cramping, and once she was in a big mess, but it is certainly not a common thing. I have asked her if she'd like to talk to the doctor about going on medication to regulate and lessen her periods, but she doesn't want to do that so I left it alone.

OP, I agree with PPs who said to give her some slack since it's almost summer. But I think you need to remind her that she will need to be proactive in her own health. Teach her how to mark her calendar and make sure she has ibuprofen or Midol on her person or in the school clinic for use when she starts cramping.

 

[CanadianPaco]

Thank you everyone for your advice. I don't use Pamprin/Midol so it didn't occur to me to have her try them. We've been using Advil. But it sounds like Motrin is a better choice. I have been very up front and honest with her about having her period and coping. She isn't used to the heavy flows and the products. I think I'll get Pamprin/Midol and encourage her to work through things.

 

[Hollywoodhaha]

I have never missed one for period.

I started on my first day of school this year [it was also my 16th birthday. Yes, my bday was the first day of Junior year] and no teacher would let me go to the nurse to get a pad or go to the restroom. Worst day of my life.