Putting a child into rehab

[emer95]

I'm not sure what I'm looking for by posting this... maybe hoping for good stories or to see if anyone else has been through this.

My nephew is almost 17 years old. He started becoming quiet, withdrawn, and angry a few years ago. His parents were very concerned, and they are loving, involved, on-the-ball type of parents. They put him in counseling and spoke to his teachers and friends. They found a joint in his room, then a bag of marijuana in the garage, and then other things- much worse than that. They also found out that he was hurting himself. Last night they told us they are putting him into a year-long rehab program three hours away. My SIL sobbed as she told us. He doesn't even know yet.

My heart is so heavy for all of them. I truly believe they are doing the right thing, but I can't imagine how hard it's going to be. They both have the right attitude, though. My SIL said she'd rather spend the money on rehab now, then spend it on a lawyer or to bail him out of jail, or God only knows what else.

Just looking for some commiseration, I guess.

 

[focusondisney]

I'm not sure what I'm looking for by posting this... maybe hoping for good stories or to see if anyone else has been through this.

My nephew is almost 17 years old. He started becoming quiet, withdrawn, and angry a few years ago. His parents were very concerned, and they are loving, involved, on-the-ball type of parents. They put him in counseling and spoke to his teachers and friends. They found a joint in his room, then a bag of marijuana in the garage, and then other things- much worse than that. They also found out that he was hurting himself. Last night they told us they are putting him into a year-long rehab program three hours away. My SIL sobbed as she told us. He doesn't even know yet.

My heart is so heavy for all of them. I truly believe they are doing the right thing, but I can't imagine how hard it's going to be. They both have the right attitude, though. My SIL said she'd rather spend the money on rehab now, then spend it on a lawyer or to bail him out of jail, or God only knows what else.

Just looking for some commiseration, I guess.

What a heartbreak for his parents. They are making a good choice. I wish them strength & courage as they go thru this trying time.

 

[Disneybuckeye]

Prayers for your nephew that he will come out of rehab a changed person and can enjoy his future. What a tough situation for a family to be in.

 

[CathrynRose]

I don't have advice, but let your sil know something she may not have thought of.

At 17, this is their last chance to make this decision for him, and force him in. in a year, he's able to say no, and lord knows what path he could go down.

They don't have a choice. It must be done now, so they will always know they did all they could.

Lots of luck to every one. So sorry.

 

[shortbun]

Scary and sad. I hope they all come out well on the other side. I'm sitting here praying for them as I type.

 

[kidzmom3]

It's a very tough decision to make, especially since some studies show that rehab for teenagers can actually result in more drug use. A year long program is quite long, I hope its a sober high school situation and not one of the crazy "survivalist" types.

 

[piglet50]

i agreed with the pp who said that since he is 17 they are still able to make these decisions for him. so hard to know how rehab will turn out but at least they know that they have done all they could and hopefully it will be the best thing for their son. i wish them all the best.

 

[Katy Belle]

Its tough stuff. I could have written a very similar post a year and a half ago. My nephew was checked into rehab at age 17. His was to be 6 months. With good behavior, etc and a lot of pushing from his parents, he got out in 3 months. He has not stayed clean and sober. His Mom desperately wanted him to start his Senior year with his class, he did. He skipped classes, was dealng, barely graduated. Couldnt get into University, now in Community College. Doesnt want parents telling hm what to do, moves out, comes back. A real mess.

My opinion....his parents have hurt more than helped. Getting him out of rehab early, no consequences for bad behavior, whole family stopped counseling and AA. I know they just wanted him to be better. But they just cant stand the tough love. His Dad walked in on him and 14 other kids doing drugs in their living room. Let him explain it away....They hosted a big graduation pary for him 2weeks later So hard to watch.

A year long program at age 17 sounds promising. Mom and Dad must stick with the plan. It wont be easy.

 

[kacaju]

my dd friend...her parents had to do this with her older sister..My understanding (coming from my then 15-16 year old) was the parents lined up the rehab place..and basically woke her up out of bed and had help from (maybe the school??) and took her away...they of course followed..and I may not be remembering this completely right since it was a few years ago. Last I heard she was doing well...but again it has been a while.

You do what you have to do..((hugs)) to your family. It is much better then my poor mom who is controlled by my alcoholic 44 year old brother and we can't get her to get away from him. she is too enabling to him.

 

[java]

My sons friend went to rehab for a year. He was forced to go.

The only thing he got out of rehab was an education on the drugs he had yet to try. He tried some hit rock bottom and then went back to rehab on his own.

When he got out, he was able to walk with the class at graduation. And is at college right now.

 

[nmmom95]

How very sad. I hope your nephew gets the help he needs. I can't imagine how difficult this is for his parents. Best of luck to your family.

 

[discnewbie]

No stories, just hugs to your family I hope everything goes well for your nephew.

 

[rcpae]

Oh my! Hugs and prayers for your whole family. I am sure this a nightmare that they never expected to be a part of. I wish your nephew and his parents all the best. You sound like a wonderful family!

 

[Robbi]

Praying things turn out well for your nephew.
Just as with all things, some will work the program and others won't. There's no blanket saying, "Rehab doesnt work or makes things worse" or " Rehab is the miracle cure." It's up to the individual person to take advantage of the help being offered.

 

[A Mickeyfan]

I don't want to sound like a downer, while they can legally place him into a rehab center, it doesn't guarantee he will get anything out of it. If he isn't willing to accept the help, it will be a waste of time. I am speaking from experience with my son. Although he isn't a minor, but an adult(26), I have held things over his head to enter rehab and he has done so just to shut me up. Then after the term of the program, he has come out and gone right back to the same behaviors because he didn't want it (I did). He is now in recovery because he has wants it. He has been clean since Sept. He started by in patient and now is doing out patient maintenance. The holidays will be the tell tale for him Good Luck to your nephew

 

[emer95]

Thank you for all of the encouragement, and especially the prayers. It means so much.

 

[njmom47]

Hope things turn out well.

 

[flakypuff]

Praying things turn out well for your nephew.
Just as with all things, some will work the program and others won't. There's no blanket saying, "Rehab doesnt work or makes things worse" or " Rehab is the miracle cure." It's up to the individual person to take advantage of the help being offered.

I agree with Robbi. First, your brother and sil need you now. They need to be strong for you nephew. Being a parent of a 17 year old my heart breaks for them They are doing what they can. I am sure it is hard but they are not turning a blind eye that is good. You sound like your heart is heavy too I hope all turns out well. It may be a long road but if all of you walk it together I pray it will have a good turn around

 

[nursebetty]

A friend I use to work with did this and surprise, surprise her son turned his life around. The first time. I think the long term programs are the best option if you have the insurance or $$. Good Luck to them. He will be angry at first, but he is already angry and the "program" will deal with this. I think they are doing the right thing and hopefully it will work. Sometimes it's a process.

 

[Bungle]

Tell them to stay strong. Forced rehab almost never works out and most likely this will be the beginning of a process that could go on for years so being prepared for a long battle is important. When does this child turn 18?

Drug addiction is hard, really hard on the loved ones actually, because it is such a selfish and destructive situation.