Ptsd???

[PUZZLDY5]

My son just got back from bootcamp. He had a HORRIBLE experience. The only way to really describe it is he is not the same child I sent to the Army 9 weeks ago. I'm not talking a little different, I'm talking A LOT different.
He isn't sleeping very much at all. Averaging about 4 hours a day. He isn't eating right. We have to practicly make him visit with people he hasn't seen since July. He practicly stays in his room.
Is it possible that he could have PTSD? He didn't go to war or anything like that but he has had a SEVERE personality change.

 

[Mermaid02]

My son just got back from bootcamp. He had a HORRIBLE experience. The only way to really describe it is he is not the same child I sent to the Army 9 weeks ago. I'm not talking a little different, I'm talking A LOT different.
He isn't sleeping very much at all. Averaging about 4 hours a day. He isn't eating right. We have to practicly make him visit with people he hasn't seen since July. He practicly stays in his room.
Is it possible that he could have PTSD? He didn't go to war or anything like that but he has had a SEVERE personality change.

Horrible in what way? They tell them when to go to bed, get up, eat, run, lift, etc. What happened to your son to make it so much worse for him than all the other recruits. When does he go back?

Of course he is not the same "child" that went into the army- he's not a child anymore.

 

[GeorgeG]

Boot camp is SUPPOSED to change people, usually in a possitive way. It's possible that your son simply isn't cut out for the military. Try asking him about it.

 

[RitaZ.]

Are you the same poster that had a thread about her son not liking boot camp? If so, I remember reading that thread. What happened to him that was so horrible? In that previous thread, you mentioned that he had a girlfriend. Did she break up with him?

 

[Rora]

Honestly, I doubt he has PTSD. It sounds like he is just experiencing bootcamp. It's not supposed to be an enjoyable experience whatsoever.

Like another PP said, maybe you should ask your son if is cut out for this. Not everyone is, and that's okay.

Good luck, Mom.

 

[shortbun]

Horrible in what way? They tell them when to go to bed, get up, eat, run, lift, etc. What happened to your son to make it so much worse for him than all the other recruits. When does he go back?

Of course he is not the same "child" that went into the army- he's not a child anymore.

Did you really read this posters statement at all or did you just immediately react to the general idea of their post? The boy came home and doesn't want to leave his room or eat. THAT is NOT going from a child to a man type stuff.

Poster. Honor your intuition and get your son some help. I've heard some pretty harrowing stories from guys coming home from boot camp. As in all other professions, there are some very sick people in the military and he could have run into some of them. Maybe he doesn't want to reveal things to you but would speak confidentially to a mental health professional. Good luck.

 

[PUZZLDY5]

Are you the same poster that had a thread about her son not liking boot camp? If so, I remember reading that thread. What happened to him that was so horrible? In that previous thread, you mentioned that he had a girlfriend. Did she break up with him?

I am the same poster. He isn't cut out for the military and actualy did get a General discharge with failure to adapt. He knows now that he isn't cut out for the military. He isn't talking much about what specificly happened but what he has told me isn't pretty. As far as the girlfriend goes, HE actualy broke up with her.

 

[sbell111]

On the other hand, it's a little too late to decide whether he's not cut out for the military. He's in the military. It's not like he can just call up the army and tell them that he's changed his mind.

 

[lovemygoofy]

I am the same poster. He isn't cut out for the military and actualy did get a General discharge with failure to adapt. He knows now that he isn't cut out for the military. He isn't talking much about what specificly happened but what he has told me isn't pretty. As far as the girlfriend goes, HE actualy broke up with her.

Your son has gotten a big dose of reality from every way possible lately. He has learned about what he can and can't do and he has learned some hard lessons about people around him.

He isn't going to be the same person he was when he left. I imagine his is heartbroken and stressed and embarssed all rolled into one. I certianly wouldn't make him talk to anyone like friends and family. He may not be even ready to talk about what happened.

His body is still adjusting back. He was on a set schedule and that includes the way he eats and sleep. I would say let him be for a few days or even weeks. Maybe he just needs time to himself and time to think. I'm sure he realizes what isn't cutout for him but knows he needs to find what he wants to do.

 

[NotUrsula]

OK, I take back my earlier answer. He didn't just finish boot camp -- he washed out, which is an entirely different thing. In my experience, men can be touchy about the humiliation of that for the rest of their lives.

I'm not going to say to just leave him alone, because it is possible that he could need counseling or even something more intensive at this point. However, I think that you really need to try to give him some space to grieve for a while. Most crucially, don't push him to socialize with people who knew where he was, because every single one of them is wondering what happened that he didn't make it, and he knows it. It's a raw wound, and pushing him to "get back to normal" too quickly is probably akin to rubbing salt in it.

What's he doing while he's not sleeping? I think that the answer to that could be telling.

I think that it would probably be good to give him two weeks or so to grieve for the lost ambition, and then start to encourage him to try to get a job so that he has a purpose in life and some structure to his day. Don't look for the job FOR him, however -- it will be really important to him to succeed at something on his own now, even it is is a small success.

 

[jsmith]

actualy did get a General discharge with failure to adapt.

Apparently they changed his mind for him. a surprising number of soldiers get discharged for failure to adapt these days. And-different people develope PTSD for different reasons-what to one mind is insignifigant is unbearable to others-however the sypmtoms the OP is describing dont fit with what my experience of PTSD is-that usually involves violence,anger and self medication-frequently with excessive alcohol. It does sound as tho the young man is depressed-i would suggest that a visit to a physcologist or other counselor-as well as a medical doctor for evaluation is in line.

 

[PUZZLDY5]

Apparently they changed his mind for him. a surprising number of soldiers get discharged for failure to adapt these days. And-different people develope PTSD for different reasons-what to one mind is insignifigant is unbearable to others-however the sypmtoms the OP is describing dont fit with what my experience of PTSD is-that usually involves violence,anger and self medication-frequently with excessive alcohol. It does sound as tho the young man is depressed-i would suggest that a visit to a physcologist or other counselor-as well as a medical doctor for evaluation is in line.

Thank you.

 

[DawnCt1]

It sounds as if your son is experiencing a Major Depression. Perhaps he had a "road map" for his life that involved the military, and is feeling a loss because it isn't for him. That's okay. It is not for everybody. There are other wonderful things he can do, other successes he can have, other goals he can reach. He may not know that. I think it is essential that you get him some help now, preferably with a psychiatrist. You said that he received a general discharge? Do you know if he is within the period of time where he can receive help from the Veteran's Administration? These are things you need to find out and quickly. Either way, he needs some mental health care now.

 

[woodkins]

My son just got back from bootcamp. He had a HORRIBLE experience. The only way to really describe it is he is not the same child I sent to the Army 9 weeks ago. I'm not talking a little different, I'm talking A LOT different.
He isn't sleeping very much at all. Averaging about 4 hours a day. He isn't eating right. We have to practicly make him visit with people he hasn't seen since July. He practicly stays in his room.
Is it possible that he could have PTSD? He didn't go to war or anything like that but he has had a SEVERE personality change.

Is it possible that he doesn't want to see his friends/people because he is embarrassed or ashamed that he discharged rather than entering the military. Perhaps even though he knows it isn't for him he still feels that somehow he is a failure or feels that people will view him as less of a man because he didn't "make it" (I'm not saying that he didn't make it or failed-just trying to get into his head and think of what he may perceive how others are viewing him).

The lack of sleep could be due to worry about his future. Obviously the military would have been a few year committment and would have helped him plan his future career goals etc & now those plans are completely changed which would cause anxiety and worry for anyone.

I would encourage him to speak to a counselor, psychologist, clergy etc. just to sort out his feelings about the situation as well as to rule out any possible depression or ptsd.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Sounds like he is in some Major clinical depression. Which is understandable considering he was not able to hack boot camp. That has to be a HUGE blow to a guy.

I would suggest that you try and talk to him about getting into some counseling, doctor, or something.

He needs help now. He is lost and depressed.

 

[dodukes]

I also agree with not forcing him to socialize right now, he sounds depressed. The VA sounds like a good possiblity for mental health care if he qualifies.

 

[Hannathy]

OK, I take back my earlier answer. He didn't just finish boot camp -- he washed out, which is an entirely different thing. In my experience, men can be touchy about the humiliation of that for the rest of their lives.

I'm not going to say to just leave him alone, because it is possible that he could need counseling or even something more intensive at this point. However, I think that you really need to try to give him some space to grieve for a while. Most crucially, don't push him to socialize with people who knew where he was, because every single one of them is wondering what happened that he didn't make it, and he knows it. It's a raw wound, and pushing him to "get back to normal" too quickly is probably akin to rubbing salt in it.

What's he doing while he's not sleeping? I think that the answer to that could be telling.

I think that it would probably be good to give him two weeks or so to grieve for the lost ambition, and then start to encourage him to try to get a job so that he has a purpose in life and some structure to his day. Don't look for the job FOR him, however -- it will be really important to him to succeed at something on his own now, even it is is a small success.

I agree with this, he is embarrassed. Of course he doesn't want to be with his friends they are going to want to know what happened and they are males! men don't talk about feelings like women do. Or his female friends will try to mother him and want to "talk" about it cause that is what girls do, maybe he isn't ready for that.

How long has this been going on? if it is less than 2 weeks I would say let him be, and watch and just be there. If he is still in his room after 2 weeks then you can start to try and draw him out back into the world. If you can't at that point I would try to get professional help. Unless he starts any sort of suicidal talk of course.

Male pride is a big thing in young guys and his has been stomped on, and now he as a young male doesn't even have a girl! He has to withdraw to his cave and lick his wounds in solitude.

And he won't be the same, they never are when they have been away, any kids, be it military or college or even a long camp.

 

[PUZZLDY5]

I thank everyone for their replys.
It hasn't been long since he got back.
I will tell him that there is help available for him and I will set it up he if wants me too.
I have told him that I am here for him anytime he wants to talk about it.
As a mom it is ripping my heart out to see him so unhappy.
He really was wanting this to work at first and then it got worse as the weeks went on. I know it has to be hard on him mentaly and to a point physicaly.
His dad/dh and I discussed it decided to give him another week or so to see how he adjusts to civilian life again. My dh is at home all the time now so he can pay more attention to what is going on with him.
It's a fine line between not wanting to push the situation and letting him sit idle.

 

[Mermaid02]

I am the same poster. He isn't cut out for the military and actualy did get a General discharge with failure to adapt. He knows now that he isn't cut out for the military. He isn't talking much about what specificly happened but what he has told me isn't pretty. As far as the girlfriend goes, HE actualy broke up with her.

This makes all the difference. He's probably confused and embarassed. Try to convince him to see a counselor asap. He will probably open up to a therapist about things he doesn't want to talk to you about.

 

[ChrizJen]

Hugs to you, OP. I don't care how old your child is, it's no fun for a mother to see her child hurting.
I was going to state that I only have experience with PTSD in small children, which would obviously present differently than it would in an adult, so I don't really know.
But I do know that it sounds like your son has been through a tough time. I would do as others have said, and give him a little time to process and grieve. But he could be suffering from depression, so keep an eye on him and if it seems like he's "down" longer than he should be, try to get him help.
Just be patient. Basic Training is never fun, but given that he was discharged on top of it, he's going to have an even tougher time.
Just be there for him. Eventually he'll want to talk about it. And when he does, remind him that he's young, and there's most likely a divine reason this didn't work out. He's meant for something better!