Pros and cons of going with another family

[disnutt]

We've taken my in-laws and my mother down. I've gone with some friends. It always sounds like a nice idea to share our love of WDW with others but then things start going wrong. Now we have friends who want to go with us in November. Is this a mistake to consider?

Pros: They have kids that match ours perfectly in age/gender. We like them as a couple. They pay their own way. They want to work at planning our days together so I don't have to play tour guide/chief ADR obtainer.

Cons: We want to stay on-site and thought they did too. Now she's talking about renting a house off-site. They want to rent a car. We just want to use ME and the internal transportation. They want to spend lots of time by the pool. DH and I don't like to spend whole days there just quick dips after the parks.

Should we try to pursue a joint vacation or could this be the end of a lovely friendship? Any hints on how to combine two different vacation styles and still have a good time?

 

[tmt martins]

We went a few years ago with Cousins (same age and 1 younger then our DD) Aunts and my Dm and Step father.

It worked out well .We did stay on-sight but our Park time was totally different they liked to just kick it at the pool as well not Ride people.

I had a plan and gave them some tips on how to maximise their time.We met up for many of the fireworks and parades did the waterparks together and shows.

Just remember this is YOUR vacation .Explain your plans and places to meet if needed and you will still have a great time .

 

[jennifer293]

When we take MIL & FIL , and me being the planner that I am. I have all of our vacation pretty much mapped out so we are not wasting time in the morning deciding where we want to go for the day. I make a copy and give it to MIL and I say this is what we are doing for the day. I say, "If you would like to join us today that is great, but if not that is fine as well...some days they joined us and some days we just met up with them about dinner time and then spent some time together. That way nobody feels pressured and you can do what your family wants to do.

***I did notice that every day that we went to a waterpark they always came with..I guess they like the water parks..

They are going with us again in July and we are looking very forward to it.

 

[Lesley]

It has always seemed to me that the main thing to be sure of when traveling with others is that everyone is clearly able to do what they want to do when they want to do it. I don't think I could travel with anyone who expected to be together the whole time (even my dh and kids...LOL) ...its too limiting for everyone.

The on-site vs. renting a house issue could really be a deal breaker though. If both parties are really set on doing the opposite here I don't think you can really be vacationing together. Perhaps go at the same time, meet up a few times and leave it at that. We've definitely had a good time with family who have been at WDW at the same time as us, but were staying off property.

I don't know that I could do WDW with most of my friends, even those we get along with really well, unless that first rule was firmly in place. But most of my friends don't really "get" WDW. We have done WDW with my parents (originators of "we're all free to do as we like")....and it has been great.

 

[razamataz]

I think that trying to plan a vacation together when one of you are staying off-site is not a wise idea. It already sounds like you all have two different ideas of what vacation looks like.

Based on the fact that her family is already considering something different while on vacation, I would think that she may want some flexibility to do what they want as a family.

If it were me, I would plan for only my family in regards to a daily agenda. Since you can make ADRs so far in advance, why don't you plan to eat supper with your friends? Then you know that you will see your friends at a specific time and can make plans for the evening with them, if you so choose.

That way, you can enjoy your friends without feeling pressured and vice versa. A bad vacation would be a horrible way to end a friendship.

Hope this helps.

 

[DISUNC]

..... It always sounds like a nice idea to share our love of WDW with others but then things start going wrong. ..... Is this a mistake to consider?

It does sound like a NICE idea, But I think it is a BIG mistake.

In order to do this, you really have to stay at the same resort with the same itinerary! Since that dont look like it's gong to happen.....You will be spending ALOT of time waiting for people to show up. And I mean A LOT of time. Also SINCE you are Park people,...(true DISERS) AND they are relax by the pool people... You will be going to attractions that they wont, and most likely want to do some other time....etc. Totally 2 VERY different schedules.

I'm more like you, EVEN if MY BEST friend slowed me down in WDW...I'd KILL HIM!

Maybe just spend 1 day together...BUT NOT the whole vacation.

 

[WeluvDisney2]

Let your friends plan their vacation the way they want to do it, and plan yours the way you want to. Then set up days/times to meet up and spend time together. Do not try to spend every minute together, it is too much stress on everyone. The point of a vacation is for everyone to do what they want and have fun!

 

[hayleypiesmom]

Our last trip to WDW (coincidently also our FIRST trip,) we traveled with another family (a coworker of mine.) While, it wasn't horrible, it made me crave another trip that much more.

First off.... they were definitely NOT thrill riders. We like to try everything at least once, they put their foot down at anything over 2 mph!!!!

I spent HOURS scouring these boards, the UG book, etc., and had a definite plan of what we wanted to do, where to eat, etc... I was constantly frustrated because we ended up waiting on them to arrive, and wasted that precious early morning time.

It was a matter of my semi- prepared nature, and their "let's-stand-looking at-the-map-and-decide-on-something" kind of attitude. Drove me insane!

By Tuesday, we all decided (unspoken) that we would all do our own thing, and just meet up for something, like lunch or a particular show. That worked out well. We would all share our experiences of the day, and it "stayed fun."

I think if we had tried to stay together all day, every day, we would have all been miserable!!!

Since we drove (two separate vehicles) it was nice to have the company-- we were able to switch around-- kids changed vehicles, shared DVD's, etc., and that part was really nice.

Not exactly sure if we'd do it again, with another family. We are leaving in 16 days -- just the three of us, and I am ecstatic that this trip is all ours.

My advice would be to just plan maybe one or two specific activities (like maybe a character meal) per day to share with another family, and then make sure that everyone has their own time....

HS

 

[TerBear4]

I think most of the other posters have already mentioned this, but I suggest you do some things together and some things apart. Otherwise, since you like to do different things you will go nuts trying to keep the same itineraries!

We have never vacationed to Disney with other couples for this very reason, we like to do things our own way and be flexible. I have a friend who lives nearby Orlando and she normally drives up for a day or two to join us. We really look forward to seeing her and her family and spending the time, but then we really look forward to having our own time again.

Good luck in your decision.

 

[disneymom3]

Actually I think that the way the basic plan sounds is the ONLY way I could vacation with another family. Sounds like it would be very easy to say "let's meet for this and that and the other thing" and then go your own ways the rest of the time. THey get to be offsite and spend time by the pool, you get to stay on and spend more time in the parks.

 

[Disneyrsh]

We've taken my in-laws and my mother down. I've gone with some friends. It always sounds like a nice idea to share our love of WDW with others but then things start going wrong. Now we have friends who want to go with us in November. Is this a mistake to consider?

Pros: They have kids that match ours perfectly in age/gender. We like them as a couple. They pay their own way. They want to work at planning our days together so I don't have to play tour guide/chief ADR obtainer.

Cons: We want to stay on-site and thought they did too. Now she's talking about renting a house off-site. They want to rent a car. We just want to use ME and the internal transportation. They want to spend lots of time by the pool. DH and I don't like to spend whole days there just quick dips after the parks.

Should we try to pursue a joint vacation or could this be the end of a lovely friendship? Any hints on how to combine two different vacation styles and still have a good time?

It sounds like you have two totally different vacations in mind. When we travel with friends, we figure out what 'type' of vacation we want to do first, then go from there. One group on site, one group off is too hard to plan and coordinate, in my opinion (and I've done it ).

Now, if everyone was onsite, one group having a car and one group using internal transportation worked out well because the car group (us) could always run and get the stuff we inevitably forgot (underpants, one year).

If they're going to hang out by their house all day at the pool, then just tell them you'll do the vacation another time, because I can tell you from experience that a house rental vacation at disney is totally different from an onsite vacation-you'll be driving yourself nuts trying to pry them out of that house's pool.

 

[snugglepeas]

All I have to say is DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!! when I was a kid(11years old) we went on a vacation to disney with another family, these were people that we had spent ALOT of time with before this vacation, are parents were best friends for 15 years before this vacation, and the ages of there kids mached up with are ages. but the vacation was HORRID, we never agreed on things to do, but they insisted that we all stay together in the park, my parents were not the type to let us whine for no reason and the thing i remember most is there kids whining almost endlessly, after we got home from this vacation are familys didnt speak for a long time. there daughter was one of my best friends when we were young and after that vacation I didnt talk to her again til we were in high school and had to talk because we were in classes together.

 

[DisneyPhD]

We have been 3 times with some friends who have kids the same ages as ours (and they get along great.) The thing is we get a long very well with this other couple too, and travel well together. You know the type, you can be with them long peroids of time with out problems. We are the planners, and they go with the flo. In fact our 1st trip we (both women) were pregant with the 2nd child (just 8 and 4 weeks.)

The 1st trip we stayed at VWL, they WL. The 2nd we were at BCV, they wer at BC. We spent most days and meals together but did spilt up if the situation called for it. The 2nd trip we had my niece and her sister along, we thought they would baby sit one night and we would go out, but we were all having so much fun together we stayed as a group.

The 3rd trip we only spent 2 days together (my DH and my friend both teach college and their breaks weren't the same week this time.) They flew down early and went to Vero beach for a few days, then over to WDW where they meet us and then we went to Vero after they flew home. This trip we depended on cell phones a lot for contact and we really needed them. They stayed at Pop and we were at SSR. It worked out well with the cell phones and set times for dinners and such.

My advice is talk with your friend about what they want, and try to have set times to meet up (dinners with ADR's) and cell phones for contact. Be flexible and if they want different things then you, don't be afaird to spilt up and meet back again for dinner and such.

We have great trips with our friends, and great times with just the family (sometimes that is the fun, having it be just us.) My DD is so spoild. She had been to WDW so many times, and 3 times with her best friend. Once we also meet up with some friends who were there the same times as us and spent the day with them.

 

[EthansMom]

I've had both good and bad experiences travelling to WDW with others. Travelling with my Mom and Stepdad was great. We flew in from separate coasts and stayed at the same on-site resort in adjacent rooms. They left the planning pretty much to me and were happy to go with the flow and mention when there was someplace they wanted to stop or something they wanted to do. We had a good trip and a nice visit!

We also travelled with the in-laws, once again flying in from separate coasts. However, there were 13 people total split into one group that stayed on-site and one group that stayed off-site. We had chosen to stay off-site with some of the in-laws. Everyone had an aversion to planning and visiting the parks with 13 people (and no plan) was terrible. We were constantly waiting... waiting for people to come down for breakfast, waiting for people to figure out what they wanted to do, etc... And when we weren't waiting, we were running... running to make the bus, running to make the next show, etc. It was miserable. We will never travel with the in-laws again.

My advice, since your vacation styles seem to be so different, try to plan times when you will meet up to do certain things... maybe meet for one meal per day, meet for one or more of the shows, schedule a Character Meal together, etc...

Good Luck!

 

[spoiltrotten12]

We went to WDW at the same time as my aunt and uncle and two cousins last year. We both stayed in villas on opposite ends of the 192. My uncle gave us their phone number and we gave ours to them. Out of 14 days we went on 3 days out with them.

You do what you want to do and let them do what they want to do and then occasionally meet up and spend the day together.

 

[luvwdw]

Thanks for this post!!!

I was thinking about posting the same thing. We are going in Dec. with another couple and their children. We are great friends with these people, but I'm getting aggravated with the whole planning. We've gone to disney alot and usually with my parents/husband's grandparents and we have a "way" we do things. They have gone once. I offer suggestionsi/ideas, they're getting rejected. We love the rollercoasters (my dd loved Expedition Everest!), they have a hard time getting their kids on Dumbo. Then to top it off, our travel agent always calls them and not us, even after I leave a message for her!!!!! AARRGGHH! I'm dreading my vacation at my favorite place on earth!!!!!!

I'm going to offere the suggestion that we meet for meals/pool time. That's a good idea.
Thanks for the ideas!!

 

[jetprincess]

Maybe you could go ahead and plan your separate trips but have some scheduled together time. Maybe a few evenings for dinner and the pool. Maybe you could plan to meet and spend a morning or an afternoon together in one of the parks. That way you could still spend time together and you could avoid the bickering of the kids!!

 

[Disneyrsh]

I have one hard and fast rule at Disney.

I don't wait.

If I'm supposed to meet you at 11:30 at the CP for lunch, and you're not there by 11:45, well, I eat without you. We have friends that used to be chronically late, often by over an hour.

One time while vacationing with us they showed up late at Cosmic Ray's just as we were walking out.

"Why didn't you wait for us?" They cried.

"We were hungy, and we assumed you wouldn't want us to spend an hour in the hot sun just waiting for you to show up." We replied.

They showed up late to a few more things, got left out, and were miraculously cured.

Don't waste time waiting for the rest of the group to show up, you'll resent them and it'll spoil your vacation.

Yeah, they'll grump, but then they'll grow up and show up.

 

[belle&beast]

We have lots of friends that love WDW and we all have kids in the same age group and I think it would be lots of fun to go together as long as it was established that everyone would be able to do what they like to do. My best friend and I have even talked about going together with our families. Now, we are as close as sisters and could easily tell the other what we want to do without feelings being hurt or anyone getting angry- that's just the type of friendship we have since we have known each other since childhood. On the other hand, I have friends that I really enjoy, but know that we would have problems with a vacation just because of our personality differences. I would only go with another family if you really feel there will not be strain on your friendship, because it would be sad to ruin a friendship over a vacation.

Also, keep in mind that the kids need to understand your plan to do your own family things, too. We went with my parents and sister in January and my parents were leaving the parks earlier than we were and my DD4 was really upset because her thought was that we would all be together all of the time. I failed to prepare her that they might not always be with us. My parents stayed offsite and met us for ADRs and at the parks when they were ready. It was not a problem at all, but again we all knew we would be doing things at our own pace.

 

[penguin087]

A lot of things can be worked out but the on-site/off-site thing is a deal breaker. I would just go with my family knowing our friends will be there the same time and planning a few times to get together. You may end up hanging out together the whole time or you may end up seeing them a few times but I would plan my own vacation.