Pros and Cons....Dorm living vs Sorority

[mum4jenn]

Need help. My daughter is entering her freshman year of High School and we have started sending off for college info. She will be taking honors classes and AP classes.

I was not able to attend college so I really have no info on dorm life vs sorority life. Could you please help us out?

We are not rich at all so I do not know if that has anything to do with being accepted by the sororities or not.


Also...if we do decide to do the sorority thing HOW do you go about deciding which one to try and join?

 

[Coconut36]

Did you mean Senior year not Freshman year?

 

[rascalmom]

I lived my first 3 semesters of college in a dorm, and the rest of college in my sorority. I preferred the sorority.

As for which one to choose, she should go where she is most comfortable.

 

[furb & dez]

My sister joined a sorority in her third year and says that there were many times when she wished she had stayed in the dorm instead.

I asked her if it was because everyone cycled at the same time and she tried to swat me.

So I'm assuming I was right

 

[shortbun]

Lots of schools don't even allow sorority living houses anymore. Few allow it before Junior year. They want their dorms full. This would be my last worry for now if I had a high school freshman. Living arrangements just don't dictate much when considering a college. I pledged a sorority my freshman year and then quit when I realized they wanted their members to be lockstep about every issue and thought. That was in the 70's and sororities took quite a beating in popularity back then.

 

[sookie]

if this is her freshman year you need to worry about hs stuff for right now.
there is a time and a season for everything. start thinking about this stuff at the end of her sophomore year / summer before junior year. You don't need to really start thinking about this heavily until she begins her junior year of HS.

Most colleges do not allow sorority house living until junior year of college anyway. They want the dorms full. Worse, some of the dorms are so full that they can't house all the students.
And - do you want to pay the dues each year for sororities? Will your DD want that when she goes to college? You can't tell. I think my husbands words on this was "I didn't need to pay for my friends or my social life, thank you very much."
I had one friend who went through rush, pledged, and was in for two years - but quickly wanted OUT in her freshmen year, but tried to stick it out. It finally got to the point where she switched schools because she felt that if she went back to the same college and dropped her sorority, it would be a big deal.

 

[Christine]

Many universities require that college freshman reside in the dorms. Period. So, no off-campus living and no sorority-house living. It is usually in your sophomore year that those decisions can be made.

At that point, your daughter will have a very firm opinion about what she wants to do and you will make those decisions then.

I would not worry about this stuff now. Relax.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Need help. My daughter is entering her freshman year of High School and we have started sending off for college info. She will be taking honors classes and AP classes.

I was not able to attend college so I really have no info on dorm life vs sorority life. Could you please help us out?

We are not rich at all so I do not know if that has anything to do with being accepted by the sororities or not.


Also...if we do decide to do the sorority thing HOW do you go about deciding which one to try and join?

My dd was in a sorority and it is EXPENSIVE. Fees, clothes, dues, this, and that and you are like they need money for What? College is expensive period.

How are you or her planning on paying for college expenses is the first thing you look at.

Sorority life was a couple of thousand on top of the reg. tutition. Of course this is going to vary by school.

She is a Gamma Phi Beta. She is no longer at the school and finishing up here but she can pay money and be an alum.

 

[mum4jenn]

Thanks for the replies! I am not freaking out about this at all...I guess me putting the word help must have made it seem like I was freaking....but we are not.!!

I also know that there is time to make those decisions but these are just some of the things my daughter had been wondering about so I thought I would go ahead and get those answers out there.

I know my daughter does not seem the sorority type but just wanted to have the info.

Thanks everyone!!!!!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Thanks for the replies! I am not freaking out about this at all...I guess me putting the word help must have made it seem like I was freaking....but we are not.!!

I also know that there is time to make those decisions but these are just some of the things my daughter had been wondering about so I thought I would go ahead and get those answers out there.

I know my daughter does not seem the sorority type but just wanted to have the info.

Thanks everyone!!!!!

Tell your dd to start doing her own research. There are many sites to start with. My youngest is 15 and is a sophmore now and she is already scrutinizing degree programs. She is determined to double major in business and communications.

She is staying in a dorm as we speak for "college camp". We just dropped her off for the 3 week program yesterday. It is her last yr of that. However it really helps the kids focus on college, college life, and get serious about what they want out of school.

Good Luck!

 

[Laura66]

My Em is a senior this year. Freshman year she did live in a dorm and rushed in the Spring. Sophomore and Junior she lived in the Delta Zeta house. You can live in a dorm - but the majority of the girls prefer the house. There is limited space so unfortunately some girls get left out.
It was quite expensive - but in her chapter they had a cook so meals were included during the week. We were unsure of sorority life because of the stereotypes but it's been a wonderful experience for her. She's made wonderful friends, served on the Executive board as House manager and chaired other various committees.
I believe they do have payment plans.

 

[DaisyLynn]

I lived in a dorm for one semester and hated it. And I even had a single.

I did not want to live in our sorority house either. It was expensive and cramped. It was nicer just to go visit.

I ended up getting a three bedroom apartment with two of my sorority sisters, which was perfect for me! My parents helped with rent, but I always held a part time job for gas/groceries/fun.

As far as which sorority to choose...well. It's early to think about that! They basically choose you. I would just suggest that she participate in rush week, bring a friend and get to know the girls. From my experience, it was pretty clear where I fit. And all chapters are not alike, either. At one school the girls of a particular sorority might have the reputation of being more "reserved" while at another, they could be the "party girls."

But for now, she should enjoy high school! Some of my favorite memories are from those years!

 

[tar heel]

I was a first-generation college student from a family of modest means in a rural area. I had no legacies and lacked the proper wardrobe -- I'm sure I would not have been chosen. Fortunately, I had absolutely no interest, either. Two of my freshman year suitemates rushed, which reinforced my lack of interest (both from hearing about the process and recognizing how little I had in common with those girls).

My three sons are about as different from each other as possible (we say they came from different planets), but absolutely no interest in a fraternity is something they have in common.

Greek life is a big deal at some schools, but often people THINK it's a bigger deal than it is. Early on, some people told my youngest son that "everyone" is in a fraternity at the university he is going to. The truth of the matter is that not quite 1 in 5 students is in a fraternity or sorority.

Since I sound negative about Greek life, I'll add that one of my closest friends now was not only in a sorority, but she was president and worked for the national chapter for a couple years after college.

 

[carrie1626]

My daughter joined her Sorority as a sophmore and I'm happy she waited until then. By the end of her freshman year she had made many friends and had a good idea of the campus life she was most comfortable in.
Her experience was wonderful and she was PREZ during her Junior year. Believe me, I had a perception of what Sorority was going to be and I was WRONG. My daughter had a great experience, made alot of great friends and the PREZ experience was a beneficial experience. Their Sorority was constantly doing community service based work and activites giving to St. Jude's Hospital. I couldn't have been more proud

Her college did not have off campus Greek housing so every Sorority/Fraternity member had to live on a Greek floor ONE year. Most of those were during Soph/Junior yr.

Freshman year will be challanging enough without the added activity of Sority life.

 

[trip]

I was in a sorority but we didn't have a house but 2 of my 3 DDs lived in a sorority house. For them, they were required to live-in their sophomore year. After that it depended on space available. They had to keep the house full to pay the bills!

Sorority life varies sooo much depending on the region and campus. If you want some info check out greekchat.com (they can be a little psycho at times )

At some schools if you don't join as a freshman you probably won't be selected later. At others, you could probably join as a senior.

 

[pooh4brains]

Once your daughter narrows down her college/university choices, start asking the questions re: Greek life at campus visits. On a larger campus, sororities/fraternities will not dictate the social life of the school. On a small campus, Greek life will most likely dictate the social scene.

I was not the sorority type either, and had I understood what "75% of our students are involved in Greek life" meant, I may have chosen a different school.

Time is on your side, and it is never too early to start looking at colleges. Being an informed consumer is half the battle! She might change her mind a bit on what she likes as she progresses through high school, but like PPs have said, junior year is crunch time when it comes to the final decision.

 

[LittleMissMagic]

Like you're finding out from everyone's replies, all schools conduct Greek life and housing differently.

At my school, you go through rush your first week (some schools start rush the week before school begins, some hold rush in the spring) of school. During rush week, the girls will get to meet members of different sororites and get an idea of who they think they'd like to be sisters with, and the sorority sisters will narrow down who they want to join their sorority. Sororities will "drop" girls throughout the week (say no) and at the end of the week, girls may (or may not, depending on how many girls rush and how many sorority spots there are available) receive bids to one or a few sororities and will "pledge" to the sorority they want to join.

The pledge period is sort of an initiation (usually not much hazing in sororities... fraternities at my school, that's a different story) which takes most of the first semester. They aren't allowed to live in sorority housing until they are members (2nd semester) and that is based on availability.

At my school, you must live on campus during your freshman year (or at home with your parents if you house is within 20 miles, I think). It's a good way to meet other students and get to know people who are and are not involved in Greek life.

Also, it's important to note that Greek life is rather expensive (prepare to spend about $1500 a year on dues), and the rush week can be terribly judgemental. Because they only have a week to get to know 500+ girls, a lot of evaluation is based on appearance... well dressed, natural beauty, etc. At my school, being a legacy (mother in sorority) will only get you through the first round, then you're on your own. It's better to have a sister who is in or was recently in the sorority... then you're almost a definite because you have a strong pull from inside.

 

[MrsDuck]

Sororities are REALLY pricey. I'm not just talking about dues.. I'm talking about the gifts you need to buy for your "Big" or "Little", the outfits necessary for socials/events, etc. It all adds up.

I went to a school where Greek life was VERY important and I didn't join. Best decision I made. Greek life was not for me and some things that I've heard about sorority life scares me {obviously some are great, some are not so great-- just speaking from personal experience}.

Honestly, most sororities in my neck of the woods don't let freshmen live in the house their first year. I'd probably encourage your DD to live in the dorm just to meet more people and to have an "out" in case she wants a break from her sisters.

When the time comes, if your DD is interested in possibly going the Greek route, encourage her to participate in Rush Week. If she enjoys it, great. If not, she can always drop out.

 

[hops&dreams]

From my experience, I LOVED living in the dorm my freshman year. For me, it was a good way to ease into moving away from home. I made great friends there, who I knew were going through a lot of the same adjustments I was.

That being said, I went pot-luck (random draw) for my room-mate and HATED her. In the beginning it was great, but she was a partier, and I was not so much. I ended up hanging with other girls on the floor, and friends I had made in classes and such. I had an apt near campus my sophmore year, and moved home for a boy (horrible idea) after that.

 

[tvguy]

Lots of schools don't even allow sorority living houses anymore. Few allow it before Junior year. They want their dorms full. This would be my last worry for now if I had a high school freshman. Living arrangements just don't dictate much when considering a college. I pledged a sorority my freshman year and then quit when I realized they wanted their members to be lockstep about every issue and thought. That was in the 70's and sororities took quite a beating in popularity back then.

Not sure where you are, but the high school class of 2009 was the biggest incoming class in U.S. history. 2010,11 and 12 weren't much smaller. Most schools out west are scrambling to find housing, so they strongly encourage off campus housing. Some have even taken to renting out floors of hotels to house students.

To the OP question, no way to say. Each Sorority and each college is different. College I went to had 4 distinctly different sororities. Everything to snooty and expensive, to one that was just basically a big family home.