Prom Weekend

[laceemouse]

That's illegal. However, if my 18 year old was in a country where the legal drinking age was 18, I'd allow him/her to drink. And if my child rented a house with a bunch of other teenagers, and things got out of hand, and the police were called, and they had to pay for damages, lesson learned. Too bad this didn't happen to my DH - maybe if it had, he wouldn't have thrown the dorm party freshman year and college, and wouldn't have been kicked off campus!

The legal drinking age is now 21 EVERYWHERE!

 

[laceemouse]

I am shocked that hotels and homes are renting to kids so young! We own a home in Florida and the rental companies there will not even rent to COLLEGE aged kids, and when they rent to adults house parties are not allowed even then! You can't rent a car until you are 25, that is the way the car rental companies run things everywhere.
I can't understand parents who don't care what their kids do. And why does PROM have to be such a big deal, this isn't a honeymoon, it's high school PROM!

 

[laceemouse]

My daughter went with a group of her friends to a rented shore house after prom last year, but I made sure an adult was there at the house.

The mother who was arranging everything had mentioned that her 24 year old daughter was going to 'chaperone' them, but I raised a few issues with her that she hadn't considered.

1) Prom day was a school day, and the kids all wanted to head to the shore after the prom. Driving at 1am on desolate Rte 72 in NJ after being up since 6:30am in the morning?? Not a good idea.

2) Are there enough "legal" drivers? In NJ, teens under the age of 18 have "Cinderella" licenses. They can't even drive after midnight...and are severely restricted on the number/relationship of people they can have as passengers.

That was all the organizing mom needed to hear...she had forgotten about those things.

What she ended up doing was arranging all the transportation there between her, her husband and her 24-year old daughter. They drove all the kids in separate cars since they were well-rested. The husband came back home, and left the Mom and her older daughter there. The Mom said she told the kids she would be there...but would not be "there". She spent her weekend lounging on the deck or in her separate room watching TV.

Ultimately, the kids had a GREAT weekend and it all worked out well. I felt better because I knew they had a safe ride to/from the shore and an adult there in case of an emergency.

All great points, Texas drivers have the same restrictions at that age. Also, driving late at night exhausted is never a good idea. These parents are scared to ever say "no" to their kids but how are they going to feel if they have an accident?
I also think that kids sneaking off to have sex is different from going to a hotel with mom and dad's permission and credit cards.

 

[laceemouse]

Also, all girls or boys and girls? BIG difference!

 

[laceemouse]

Will anyone even rent to children/young adults that age? For most hotels, you have to be 21 or older.

YEP! Guess the rules are different in Jersey?

 

[mjkacmom]

The legal drinking age is now 21 EVERYWHERE!

Do people in Europe know this? Because they seem to think their limit is 18. And I'd not only let my 18 year go off for a night (provided he/she is responsible, and hangs out with responsible kids), I'd let him/her stay at the shore for the summer, if he/she got a job. It's time to grow up - 3 months later, off to college, where there REALLY isn't that much supervision (again, because these are adults). The sheltered kids really seem to party way more than those who were slowly given some independence.

 

[Zeebs]

The legal drinking age is now 21 EVERYWHERE!

Do people in Europe know this? Because they seem to think their limit is 18. And I'd not only let my 18 year go off for a night (provided he/she is responsible, and hangs out with responsible kids), I'd let him/her stay at the shore for the summer, if he/she got a job. It's time to grow up - 3 months later, off to college, where there REALLY isn't that much supervision (again, because these are adults). The sheltered kids really seem to party way more than those who were slowly given some independence.

Actually the legal drinking age is not 21 everywhere. Europe, Australia and New Zealand it is 18, I think America is in the minority of 21.

In Australia a lot of kids when they graduate from school before heading away to university etc go away for a week for Schoolies week. They are not normally accompanied by adults. Yes there are some that go mad but many that do not. They are messy though I use to do housekeeping for Club Med in Australia clearing up their rooms I am hoping they weren't that messy at home LOL.

Kirsten

 

[KateMW]

The legal drinking age is now 21 EVERYWHERE!

Ummm...no it isn't. It's 21 everywhere in this country, but it is certainly not 21 everywhere in the world.

 

[alisonlee3]

I am from northern NJ and went to seaside for prom weekend. Yes there was alcohol involved but I had also went to a few parties in high school where alcohol was involved. We all had a great time, nothing bad happened. If you trust your child then I think you should let her go.

 

[frndshpcptn]

And my follow up would be- what happened in Seaside while you were there?

The same things that happened at parties in town.

Except we had the beach as a backdrop

 

[disneyandme]

I'm surprised by how many people are saying that since kids will party at home what's the difference with a party at the beach. In town- kids would have a finite amount of time before they have to be home (useless you let your kids come and go as they please), they would face parents if they came home high or drunk, and talk would get around. At the beach, kids are unsupervised, have an unlimited amount of time and are free to do as they please all day and night. I understand that they are about to head off to college- but again there is a some checks and balances they are restricted to- they have classes to attend, work to complete, etc. I'm sure some kids will not attend class and just party all the time- but for most kids they have to balance between classes, school work, and having fun- it's not total freedom.

 

[mjkacmom]

I understand that they are about to head off to college- but again there is a some checks and balances they are restricted to- they have classes to attend, work to complete, etc. I'm sure some kids will not attend class and just party all the time- but for most kids they have to balance between classes, school work, and having fun- it's not total freedom.

These HS gets to to classes, do homework, etc. - we're only talking 1 night. College students get WAY more freedom than HS students who are only away from home 1 night.

 

[roscoepc1]

Over my dead body, unless there were also parents whom I trusted there. Period.

 

[Hannathy]

Over my dead body, unless there were also parents whom I trusted there. Period.

Not trying to be mean but what difference is 3 months going to make? You do realize that August of that year they will be able to do this every weekend with out you even knowing don't you? By Graduation they either know how to act or they don't 3 months isn't going to do a thing.

 

[disneyandme]

So, have you decided about letting her go?

 

[frndshpcptn]

I'm surprised by how many people are saying that since kids will party at home what's the difference with a party at the beach. In town- kids would have a finite amount of time before they have to be home (useless you let your kids come and go as they please), they would face parents if they came home high or drunk, and talk would get around. At the beach, kids are unsupervised, have an unlimited amount of time and are free to do as they please all day and night. I understand that they are about to head off to college- but again there is a some checks and balances they are restricted to- they have classes to attend, work to complete, etc. I'm sure some kids will not attend class and just party all the time- but for most kids they have to balance between classes, school work, and having fun- it's not total freedom.

Well, for me at least, quite a few people I knew in high school were either high or drunk on weekends when we were home - so not much difference there.

It's only a weekend - and it was less than 3 months until we all left for college (graduated at the end of June, left for college mid-August). At this point, what are you really afraid would happen that either already hadn't or wouldn't once you were further away from home and the constraints of high school friends?

 

[dolfinjuls]

I'm in S. Jersey and this is a big thing that most seniors do after prom for a long time! I graduated almost 10 yrs ago now and it's been going on long before I graduated. What my group of friends did was all stayed at my friend's house that Fri night and spent the full next day at the beach/boardwalk. But more recently, my coworker's son went two years ago for his senior prom wkend. And the cops busted their house and found alcohol. Some of the kids were taken down to the station and others were fined. Seems they did this to every house around that was known as renting to high school students.

 

[DCbride]

dolphinjuls you make excellent points!

First, if she was going to a friend's house I would have zero problems with it. In fact she has been going to LBI since 6th grade to stay with friends and their families.

Second, there are few houses that rent to the under 25 crowd, if the kids can find those houses I am pretty sure the police know which houses there are and watch pretty closely.

She is still on the fence. A senior from her high school died in a 1 car accident this weekend and the whole "teens are not invincible" kind of hit close to home.

 

[fortheluvofpooh]

I know when I graduated from Cardinal Dougherty, that was the thing to do, Senior week at the Jersey shore. Wildwood was full of teenagers running amuck. I know you are scared for her safety but sometimes we just have to have faith and let them go. Good Luck on your decision.