Prom expense questions

[luvmarypoppins]

This will be our lst prom experience as parents. Just wondering what the current rules are etc. Who pays for what etc. etc. Ds wants to bring a girl who is his friend, she has moved from the area and only attended his high school for l year. They have been friends since lst grade, worse she has a boyfriend etc. DS says I am taking someone who is funny and I can have a good time with etc. Dh and I are not happy about his possible date. I said, there are many girls at the school who would be happy to go with you to the prom etc. We have already bought ds a used car this year and we have paid $500 toward his senior trip. He has a job but is only very few hours right now due to basketball. He uses all his money for gas and car insurance. I hate to say this but if it was a nice girl without a current boyfriend I would be more than happy to chip in for things. DH friend is a limo driver so that is about all I am thinking of looking into etc. What to do? Also whatever we decide the next 2 ds will remind us, you did that for him etc. so I have to think of that too.

 

[Christine]

I don't know all the prom "rules" yet since my DD is only a 9th grader; however, I'm not sure what your issue is with your son taking his friend. He will probably have a lot more fun--no pressure. I think "romance" probably gets in the way of having fun at the prom.

I know at my DD's school, more people go as "friends" versus "couples."

 

[stinkerbelle]

do you mean - what parents pay for vs. what the kids pay for?
or what the guy/girls pay for?

IMO - kids pay...it's their event, not their parents. I couldn't imagine my parents paying for my prom expenses.

if they are going as "friends" - they split costs.
couples - boys should cover most costs

JMO

 

[ead79]

I think you should help cover the cost of whatever you would’ve paid for if your son were taking a “date” instead of a “friend.” I’m not sure why that would make a difference at all.

 

[BeNJeNWaFFLe]

There are no "rules" when it comes to prom. It all really depends on what you want and what you are willing to pay. You don't have to spend a fortune to have a good time. The guy doesn't always have to pay for everything. I actually paid for my date.

I'm not flaming, just curious. Why don't you like that your son wants to bring his friend as his "date"? If she is going to insure that he will have a good time, that should be all that matters. Prom is all about having a good time with good friends.

I actually went to prom with my best friend, who is a guy. And the truth, I paid. He didn't have the money to go but everyone in my circle of friends was going other than him. We didn't want to end school like that with him not there. So I asked him to come with me and I would pay. All he bought was the tux and my corsage. I really enjoyed bring a friend and wouldnt change it for the world.

Also I was able to budget myself for prom. I found a beautiful dress on an amazing sale. Prom itself wasn't expensive and our after prom activity was $45/person. I worked in a cosmetic store at the time so I got my hair done at home for really cheap and a coworker did my makeup for free. (I tried to pay, she wouldn't accept it.) From those savings I was able to pay for a really nice limo. It was expensive but it was well worth the money. Trust me when I say the total that I paid was nothing compared to most people. But I wasn't looking for a million dollar night. I was looking for a fun night with all of my friends. Actually, I remember that my female friends paid for their dates to come to prom. They felt that is was their prom so they should pay. So see there are no rules to paying for prom. It all depends on the person.

 

[PlaneJoy1]

Hmmmm... I would think that since he invited her, that your DS would pay for the tickets, dinner (if applicable, in our town proms have finger food not dinner), and a corsage for the girl.

I don't think a Limo would be necessary. It's a nice touch, but overrated. If you don't want them driving that night, perhaps a family member could act as their driver.

How much of this you help cover is up to you. Perhaps his formal attire is something you could help provide.

 

[Sandy V.]

I don't know if there are any hard and fast rules about who pays for what, but here's a list of possible expenses for your son:

Tux rental
Prom tickets
After-Prom tickets (if you have one)
Dinner
Limo rental or car expenses
Corsage
Prom photos
Breakfast for when it's all done

That's all I can think of at the moment. Personally, my son (almost 16) has had the most fun at dances when he's gone with "friends" or just stag, as opposed to a girlfriend or someone he wanted to be his girlfriend.

I just think there's too much pressure at that age to make the occasion more "romantic" than it needs to be.

 

[JKMastalski]

If your son invited a girl from a different school, then I feel as though he should foot the bill.
I don't know how I would feel if I was the girls boyfriend though. I know they are just friends, but still, I don't think I would be too happy if I was the boyfriend. Just my two cents.

 

[MerryPoppins]

I hate to say this but if it was a nice girl without a current boyfriend I would be more than happy to chip in for things.

It's hard to tell when things are written instead of spoken. Were you saying you don't think his date is a nice girl? Because if you have issues with the date beyond her having a current boyfriend my answer might be different. Why is it important to have a romantic date for the prom?

My DS went to the prom last year with a good friend. She had just broken up with her boyfriend and didn't have a date. He was planning on going with a group of friends anyway, so they decided to go together.

She insisted on buying her ticket to the prom. So we paid for DS's ticket, his tux rental and her corsage. DS planned to pay for her dinner, but I can't remember if she insisted on paying or not. DS works in the summer, but doesn't hold a job during the school year. Swimming takes up too much of his after school time and we want him to concentrate on making good grades, so we help him with big ticket items during the year.

DS had a blast. In a lot of ways I think it's safer to go with a friend. If it's a boyfriend/girlfriend and you have a fight you might end up with no date. I've heard several people who were in this spot and if you've already rented a tux or bought a dress and then you have no date. It can be a really sad experience. I'd say if this is what will make him happy, then support his decision.

 

[taximomfor4]

They should each pay what they are comfortable paying. What the kids cannot afford can be left out. If they are going as friends, a lot of the pressure is off for the "bells and whistles" -- he is not trying to impress this girl. Sounds like they might have a great time. Prom with a friend is a GREAT way to go (as long as her boyfriend is TRULY fine with the situation.) All they REALLY need is formal attire, and the tickets. And I think the kids should be paying (split up however it works -- since your son invited her, and it isn't even her school, he should probably bear the brunt of the expenses except her dress.) As the parent, I would not be paying any of it.

 

[Breezy_Carol]

When DD went to the prom, I paid for her dress and the limo, becuase I wonted her not to drive the distance to the hotel where it was held. She and her date were responsible for the rest.

So, when DS went to prom, I thought it was only fair to pay for his tux and the limo. He took care of the rest.BTW, the girl he went with was a firend from his class but not a "girlfriend".