PreK or Preschool? A parental quandry.

[Binnie]

My DD3.5 is extremely bright, but has been cursed with a December birthday (poor planning on my part!). Because of this, she would not be able to start kindergarten here in VA until she's almost 6, in 2 more years, which means 2 more years of pre-school.

She's already bored in pre-school. She knows her colors, shapes, letters (and how to roughtly write them!), letter sounds, basic math, etc., and the school she's in really isn't able to do anything more with her at this point. But they're great, and nice, and close to home, and all her friends are there.

I have the chance to send her to a private Pre-K program which would allow her to enter a private kindergarten next year. BUT I feel like to program is very rigid with a lot more structure than she's used to, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but I have issues with workbooks and pre-packaged programs for little kids. They have a whole lifetime of that stuff to look forward to!

What would you do?

 

[ekatiel]

Depending on when your school cut-off is (ours is Sept. 1st), many parents these days are holding back their summer born children from kindergarten. We have decided to this with my just turned 5 year old. He will not start kindergarten until he has just turned 6. I would be wary of starting your DD early, just b/c so many other parents are starting their kids late. When your DD is 13 and entering high school, there will be boys in her grade that are already 15 !!! If it were my DD, I would wait and start her on time. She will most likely be at the top of the class, and that will be an advantage to her for the rest of her life. That's just my 2 cents. --Katie

 

[QueenGoblin]

My daughter has a January birthday. She has been reading fluently since she was 4 years old. She started Kindergarten when she was 5 and will start first grade at 6. We could have pushed her ahead, but why? It would just mean she would grow up that much faster and I want her to enjoy her childhood as long as possible. I really don't want her going off to college at 17!

If you really feel like your daughter is unhappy, you might look into a program like a Montessori school that has a mixed age classroom and is very self directed. That way, your daughter could observe the older children and move at her own pace without being skipped ahead of her age group.

Being an older/brighter kid in a classroom is not a bad thing. It boosts confidence and gives them a chance to develop themselves as whole people. My father was a bright kid who entered Kindergarten a year early. Although he always did very well academically, in retrospect he wished he had that extra year and he didn't want to skip any of his own children ahead, even though academically any of us could have handled it too.

I thought about this too, but ultimately, having that extra year to be a kid and build confidence was more important to me than pushing DD ahead in school. I make sure to challenge her in other ways.

 

[Psuhusker]

My daughter is in the same boat. She is academically way above her age range. She is also 3 with an october birthday. She will be doing preschool this year but at a very advanced school. My husband and I would much rather her be at the top of her class than struggling to keep up academically and athletically. For this reason we have chosed to not push things and just let her go to school when she is old enough. Look for preschools that may have more advanced lesson plans

Good Luck!

 

[ncmickeyluvr]

Personally, I would keep her in her pre-school. We had a very similiar experience with dd. Her birthday is Nov 30...I was sooo upset when I found out she couldn't start school...I grew up where the cut off date was and still is Dec 31...so I assumed she would enter Kindergarten when she was 4. I have to say that now that she is 9, I am sooo happy that she is where she is. Being one of the oldest in the class is great...kids grow up too fast anyway. She's in the gifted program at school and is a leader in class. I also have a friend who's dd started school a year early..and is now wanting that year back ,as she just brought her dd to college yesterday, at barely 17.

 

[hmacmahony]

Well, and this is just my opinion

Preschool is about building social skills, not academics. She might go into kindergarten slightly ahead, but it has been proven that by 3,4 grade that levels out and kids naturally fall where they are going to fall on the charts.

I would much more worry about her social skills than what she can do at this age. I also find it hard to believe that a 3 1/2 year old is bored in preschool. As a former preschool teacher, that boggles my mind. Preschool is about playdoh, painting, puppetshows, blockes, and imaginative play. Those are the things she should be working on. Yes, a little academics are great, but they should not be the primary focus.

As for the cutoff, all my kids had later birthdays, and we held them all out of school a year so they started as one of the oldest. The maturity plays a huge factor in that decesion for us.

Once again, my opinion only here.

 

[poegirl30]

Another teacher and mom of two boys with Oct/Nov birthdays. I see it as a blessing instead of a curse. Many of our kids are going to school older, which just gives them a little extra time and maturity. My daughter will barely be eighteen when she graduates this year, and many of her friends will be either nineteen or almost nineteen. (Our area has a pre-1st program, which many of these kids went through after kindergarten.) As we are now doing our college tours and finalizing where she will attend next year, I wish I had a little more time with her!

Don't rush your dd into school. There are plenty of preschool programs that can work with an acclerated child. Let her enjoy being little. It's for such a short time!

 

[allyphoe]

I also find it hard to believe that a 3 1/2 year old is bored in preschool.

This. My DD6, who did complain of boredom in kindergarten, was never bored at her preschool, which did not have an academic focus. They did tons of fun stuff, and while I know they covered numbers / letters / colors / shapes, that was a tiny fraction of the day. DD designed and carried out a scientific experiment at one point, because she wanted to know the answer to a question, but that was the teachers supporting her in an interest.

I agree that a mixed-age classroom might be a good fit for your DD. Our preschool was a 2-year program, so all the kids had the opportunity to be both youngest (learning from the older kids) and oldest (teaching the younger kids).

We did look at an academic preschool at one point. They had the 3yos sitting silently, doing worksheets. The parent volunteer leading our tour was encouraging people to start their kids out at 3. Her child had started the 3yo room in December due to a move, and had been asked to repeat the year rather than moving up with the 4yos, because she hadn't been able to catch up. (This same program claimed that transferring in for kindergarten was near-on impossible, because the kids would be too far behind. Interestingly, they actively recruit and offer merit scholarships to 5th, 6th, and 7th graders - about the age that kids get more say in where they go to school.)

 

[DisneyAndRedSox]

Same boat here! DD will be 4 in Nov and misses the cut-off. We are not going to push kindergarten early. We know she will be ready for it, but we heard there have been a lot of studies that kids who wait have an advantage in middle and high school being on the older side instead of the younger side.

 

[Binnie]

I also find it hard to believe that a 3 1/2 year old is bored in preschool.

She is bored where she is. It's not that she's bored with learning, it's that she can't learn enough.

Her class is 20 kids and two teachers. There are several kids with disciplinary and/or developmental issues in her class, so that makes it hard for the teachers to focus on teaching. (That's one of the primary reasons why I'm thinking of moving her. The kids are out of control EVERY time I go in the class.) And it won't get any better when she moves up to the next class, either, since those kids will move with her if she stays where she is.

I plan to contact one of the Montessori schools tomorrow, if for no other reason than to get another option in the mix.

 

[K and K's Mommy]

It's amazing the difference between the states because in Indiana she would be considered about right in the middle. Our cut-off is August 1, but most people do not send July birthdays.

My DD has an August birthday. I love it that she is the oldest. She had a first grade class with quite a lot of "girl drama," (I know, already) but she was one of the few who could let it go and not be bothered by it. I think her maturity was the reason why. Her teacher was very good at individualizing instruction so she was pushed academically.

20 kids with two teachers does sound like a lot in preschool. I know where my kids have gone it is 14 kids with two teachers. But, I also wouldn't like a preschool program that uses a lot of worksheets. I think contacting Montessori is a good idea.

 

[cassandrap83]

I think every parent thinks their kids are extremely bright. My 3.5yr old (birthday in November) Can write out everyone's names in our family, including her own, and can read some words. Some people would think that is "extremely bright" but others would think that is just "normal".

Personally, I was an "extremely bright" child & tested off the charts when I was younger. My parents started me in school a year early, also by sending me to a private school. (October birthday here) While I did excel in school academically, I have to say that I would NEVER do that to my child. From the social aspect... it was terrible. I was the "last" to do everything. It became especially devastating in High School when I was the last person to drive, and then the last person to be able to see a Rated 'R' movie, and then the last person in my group of friends to turn 21.

You have so many options today that weren't around when I was younger. There are SO many gifted programs out there & so many AP, BI, & Honors classes available once your child is older. College is so competitive these days, and having your child at matched maturity & academic levels from day 1 just may give them the edge they need.

 

[cerberus]

She is bored where she is. It's not that she's bored with learning, it's that she can't learn enough.

Her class is 20 kids and two teachers. There are several kids with disciplinary and/or developmental issues in her class, so that makes it hard for the teachers to focus on teaching. (That's one of the primary reasons why I'm thinking of moving her. The kids are out of control EVERY time I go in the class.) And it won't get any better when she moves up to the next class, either, since those kids will move with her if she stays where she is.

I plan to contact one of the Montessori schools tomorrow, if for no other reason than to get another option in the mix.

I am in a similar situation with DD birthday being August 29th. So this is something I have been thinking about for awhile now. I still have not made a decision but since she is just about to turn 4 I have awhile to think about it. My comment is in regards to your current preschool...I would find a different and better preschool program. My DD class is 8-10 kids and 2 teachers.

 

[MomNeedsVacay]

She is bored where she is. It's not that she's bored with learning, it's that she can't learn enough.

Her class is 20 kids and two teachers. There are several kids with disciplinary and/or developmental issues in her class, so that makes it hard for the teachers to focus on teaching. (That's one of the primary reasons why I'm thinking of moving her. The kids are out of control EVERY time I go in the class.) And it won't get any better when she moves up to the next class, either, since those kids will move with her if she stays where she is.

I plan to contact one of the Montessori schools tomorrow, if for no other reason than to get another option in the mix.

I'm in Virginia also... I have no idea where you are but here in Northern VA, the trend is that MANY people hold their children. THe cut-off is September 30, but everyone at our preschool with children who have summer birthdays even two boys we know; one had a March and one had an April birthday held thir kids back. THat means SOME kids are 6 1/2 when entering K.

I have to ask you to clarify... Is this a daycare or a preschool?? I've seen people call their daycare, a preschool, when simply they are pretty different things. Most preschools for 3 year olds are 3-4 hours in the morning/ three times a week. If your child is bored in that short amount of time, then there is definitely something wrong with the preschool. I knew exactly what my kids were doing every second of the day at preschool, because their teachers gave the parents full lesson plans. AND every day they sent home a newsletter about how the day went.

I personally wouldn't send my child to school early for social reasons. If your child excels, maybe channel that into extracurricular activities??

 

[MomNeedsVacay]

BTW-- talk about poor planning ...all there of my kiddies have birthdays right around the cut-off date!!! I hate making this decision to hold or push ahead--its very hard to think about!!

 

[disneycountrygirl]

I agree with the other posters about letting her start K at the appropriate time, as hard as it is to keep her back.

My mom had a Sept birthday and her parents started her a year early and she constantly struggled ALL through her school years and fully believes that she would have had a different experience being the oldest instead of almost 2 years younger than some of her classmates.

My daughter has a Sept birthday too, and is currently 5 so this is technically her K year coming up, but we homeschool, and she's been "in school" for 2 years now and is doing all first grade work (and some second), so we don't have to deal with those issues.

But if/when she transitions to public school, I will still have her put in her age appropriate class (where she will be among the oldest), even if she is 3 grade levels ahead academically. I just want to give her the most advantages I can, and I know there are distinct disadvantages to being the youngest.

Being a homeschooling mom, I can say that there are easy and simple ways with barely no work on your end to keep your daughter challenged academically. You pottytrained your daughter, taught her to walk, to eat, to talk....you have been teaching her all along, and you don't have to turn over everything to the schools just cause she is a certain age. Because you uniquely know your child, you are even more qualified than they are to lead her academically. (And no, I don't believe everyone should homeschool!!!) But if nothing else, software programs are great for that stuff - my kids and I are learning Spanish via that route, and the kids LOVE it. I don't sit at the computer with them, I just listen as I am doing chores around the house and they are doing Spanish on the computer - which to them is the fun equivalent of playing video games, except they are learning.

Workbooks are also another easy and fun way - they can be bought at children's educational stores or even Walmart. Plus, if she wizzes through them and completes even let's say a first grade level book, you will have something concrete to show the schools instead of them having to take your word for it that your daughter is smart and should be worked with to stay challenged.

Videos are another means - I have more than a couple friends who showed their kids the Leapfrog videos around age 3 and 4 and they learned to read independantly through watching them.

Good luck with whatever you end up doing.

 

[AnastasiaTremaine]

Oh, gosh - it felt good to read this thread! I have been going through the same thing with my 3&1/2 year old November b-day girl...just wasn't sure what to do with her and felt really distraught about her starting kindergarten so 'late'. Thank you for the reminder that childhood does indeed go by so fast and really, what blessing her late birthday is, in that perspective. This was really comforting & reaffirming - not my thread, but thanks to all of you!

 

[CLR4321]

It sounds like her current preschool may not be a good match for her. I would definitely look into a different preschool. I would suggest visiting them before picking one, to find one that matches her needs. Talk to the teachers about her being advanced and see which one would have the best program for her.

 

[mom-2greatkids]

I could have written this same post. DD's birthday is in November, and by her third birthday she knew all of her shapes, colors, letters, wrote most of the letters and completed addition worksheets. In my mind she was very advanced (her preschool teacher agreed) and I was disappointed her birthday wasn't 3 months sooner so she could go to kindergarten a year earlier. Now DD is 10 and I can't imagine what would have happened if she had entered kindergarten a year earlier. I know she would have struggled both academically and socially.

My advice is to look at other preschools and also to get your DD involved in other activities, such as dance, gymnastics, etc. She'll learn new things and also continue to develop social skills.

 

[DisneyAndRedSox]

Her class is 20 kids and two teachers. There are several kids with disciplinary and/or developmental issues in her class, so that makes it hard for the teachers to focus on teaching. (That's one of the primary reasons why I'm thinking of moving her. The kids are out of control EVERY time I go in the class.) And it won't get any better when she moves up to the next class, either, since those kids will move with her if she stays where she is.

I plan to contact one of the Montessori schools tomorrow, if for no other reason than to get another option in the mix.

If the classroom is out of control when you go there, move her. That is uncalled for. Look at Montessori, also look into pre-schools that are NAEYC accredited (I send my DD to one).

http://www.naeyc.org/accreditation/search

I agree with another poster- look into other activities to enrich her even more. You can do dance, gymnastics, swim, or even classes at a local Y or JCC. My local Y has a cooking class for 3-5 year olds that looks great (many centers have a non-member rate).