Pregnancy Issues... first time.

[jessaboo]

Hello all -

I've never been on this particular board before, and I would love some support if at all possible.

I'm just at 9 weeks, and I've just learned that I am not healthy enough to carry my baby in this point in time. The baby isn't forming correctly, and I'm getting sick from it.

I'm really upset about this, because my boyfriend and I were both extremely excited about this opportunity. It's been taken away from us way too early, and I'm just really upset about it.

I'm a senior in high school, as well, and I've taken today off.
I don't want to talk to anyone really, and my mom got mad at me for staying home. It's just worse because I had my first ultrasound, and everything.

Sorry for downing the board, but I'm really comfortable on the DIS, and I'm just looking for someone to tell me that I'm not crazy for being upset.


Thanks.
- Jessa

I just don't know what to do?

 

[momof3disneyholics]

It's normal to be upset and it is a loss no matter how far along you were. You need to be easy on yourself and it that means staying home and crying all day or staying in bed all day then do it. Everyone grieves differently. I lost a baby last year at 5 months pregnant. I had people telling me it was meant to be or we can always try again but that did not make me feel any better. I wanted to get pregnant again right away but I listened to my doctor and let my body take time to heal and when the time was right I did get pregnant again and now have a healthy 3 month old son. Last year though when all this was happening, I thought it would never get better, but it does pass. Time does heal and you just have to stay positive and know there are other things to look forward to.
There is another message board that I turned to when I was grieving a loss. Here is a link to it. http://www.mothering.com/discussions/forumdisplay.php?f=22

 

[annie1995]

Awwww hun, I'm so sorry for what you are going through. You are not crazy in anyway to feel this way. . I have gone to a pregnancy site for 2 years now, and they also have a wonderful board for ladies who have lost their babies. I'm sure it would be a huge help for you. The site is http://www.pregnancy.org/bulletinboards/

Scroll down to grief and loss, and click on pregnancy and infant loss support and you will find a huge amount of support from ladies who have gone through losses before. You will be in my prayers.

 

[frdeb1999]

Your deffinately not crazy. Everyone of my kids were precious to me from the instant I knew. We lost one at 8 months along and people honestly don't know what to say to you. Just remember that when they're speaking and saying off the wall stuff. I'm sure you'll have more some day. In the meantime grieve in any way you need to and don't worry about what people think or say. Only you know yourself well enough to know what you need! Your in my thoughts and prayers...and things will get better.

 

[TruBlu]

I lost a twin at 12 weeks. I know how sad it makes you. Please stay strong. Can you talk to your counselor at school? Talking really helps.

 

[Mackey Mouse]

First.. hugs. I am not sure what to say here as I have never experienced this first hand, I can only imagine what it would feel like and even that hurts...I would take as much time as I needed, do what I needed to do to be comfortable with what is going on, ask questions, involve your family and friends so you will not be alone.. No one should be dealing with this type of thing alone. We are here if you need to talk and I like that some of the previous posters gave you links to sites that help...

Hugs again.

 

[onesadduck]

Major hugs to you! I'm so sorry you have to go through this, and with a mother who sounds less than supportive. You had every right to miss a day of school after this! I've never been through a miscarriage myself, but a friend of mine did have one recently. She was 7 weeks along, and only knew she was pregnant for two weeks. But it was still very hard on her. This was four weeks ago, and she's just now getting back to "normal". Her fiance may even be more upset than she is (and they knew it was a high-risk pregnancy from when they found out about it).

I know the idea of having another baby doesn't comfort you much- you wanted that baby. Remember that you are still young, next time your body will be more ready (and remember that it was anything but your fault- some women blame themselves when this happens). Take care of yourself. Emotionally and physically.

Don't worry about "bringing us down". We're here to help and support you. This section would be useless if everyone was happy and healthy all the time. You came to the right place. I hope you feel better physically soon. I'm very sorry for your loss.

 

[minkydog]

I lost my second baby at 15wks. It was devastating and no one knew what to say. It took several months for me to feel happy again. But eventually, I did get happier and it didn't hurt all the time. That was 17 years ago this month.

I can promise you, you will never forget this baby. But it won't always be this gut-wrenching. <Hugs to you and your boyfriend>

 

[PattyR.]

I am so sorry you are going through this. It is absolutely normal and right for you to grieve and feel unable to go to school today. I would talk with someone you can trust, a school nurse, teacher or counselor, pastor, friend, mom of a friend, whoever you feel you can talk to and trust. It is never good to keep feelings, especially these type of feelings bottled up inside. And keep posting here on the dis, its a wonderful board and it can really help to post amongst friends who are in a sense strangers. Best of luck to you and please take care of yourself.

 

[Sunbeamblue2002]

I really am sorry for what you are having to go though. Please understand that your feelings are normal. I have lost twins and lost another baby to a miscarriage. It isn't an easy time. Please try and turn to someone who will just let you be. I know that its very easy to want to curl up in a ball and melt away. However find some type of comfort in a friend. Also please go to the Share web site www.nationalshareoffice.com and talk with the women their. It was of great help to me at a time in need. Remember people will say things that arn't right and they don't mean any harm. Also don't let yourself get into the "What wrong with me" thought process. It'll only make you feel worse. Take time to take care of yourself and please ask your Dr. to give you a referal to a profession esp. at this time of yr. Most of all be good to yourself you are in my prayers.

 

[TLSnell1981]

Losing a child at any stage in your pregnancy is devastating. My daughter was stillborn at 7 months. No one understands completely unless they have been through this. A little piece of my heart will always be hers. Give yourself all the time you need to grieve. It's okay to be sad, it's okay to hurt...but I promise...it does get better with time. My thoughts and prayers are with you as you go through this difficult time.