Pre-trip:An Over-planner's Guide to Getting Married

[Chicago526]

Warning: Long post ahead!

Here’s a run down of the few days leading up to our wedding day, and the big day itself, all leading to our Disney Honeymoon! The actual trip report will follow shortly.

Cast of Characters (for pre-trip report only, not all of those mentioned went on the honeymoon!):

Me: Bride-to-be, new homeowner and full time corporate travel agent, recently diagnosed with Mickey-itis.
DFi: Soon to be DH, full time press operator for a major newspaper, and has a relapsing/remitting course of Mickey-itis.
Mom: My mom and all around nice person
Dad: My dad and another all around nice person
MIL: My DFi’s mother, and while quit nice, has a tendency to drive both DFi and I nuts because she WON’T STOP TALKING, EVER!
DB1: My oldest brother
SIL : DB1’s wife
DN1 and DN2: my 2 nephews and ring bearers
DB2: My other older brother and the hero that saved the wedding!
Dude: DFi’s best friend and best man
Tink: My best friend and maid of honor, flew in from FL for the wedding
Jasmine: My other best friend and co-MoH, since Tink lives in FL and couldn’t help me out like MoH’s usually do.
Nala: Another Bridesmaid, a good friend and sister to Tink
Kay: Last-but-not-least of the BM’s and a good friend

The week of the wedding comes along. I took Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday off from work to take care of all those “little” details that seem to occur right before any wedding. Wednesday I ran around like a crazy woman, I had to make the final payment for the reception and drop off all the ‘stuff’ (i.e. place cards, unity candle, toasting glasses, guest book/pen, ring pillows etc.), get my eyebrows waxed, call the DJ, Photographer, and Florist to make sure we were all on track, go grocery shopping to feed the guests that were due in on Thursday, do laundry so we’d have clothes to wear on the honeymoon and then clean the house for said guests.

I went to bed at 2 AM, and needed to be up at 5:30 AM to finish a few things around the house before going to pick up MIL-to-be at the train station.

We live in Elgin, a city that’s about 40 miles NW of Chicago, and DFi’s mom lives in his hometown of Chambersburg, PA. She won’t fly, and it’s too far for her to drive all by herself (it’s about 12 to 14 hours straight through). So, the only way for her to get her is by Amtrak (20 hours including a 5 hour layover in Pittsburgh). Now, Amtrak goes to Chicago Union Station, which also serves as the station for Chicago’s commuter rail system, Metra. And Metra has a station about 5 minutes from my house. Since I refuse to drive in Chicago (I don’t know where I’m going half the time and I can’t paraell park very well, two things generally required for big city driving) I was planning on just taking the Metra train to meet up with the Amtrak train. My train from Elgin was to leave at 7 AM.

Yup.

You guessed it.

I over slept!

At 7:05 AM, I was awoken by the sound of a fire truck going down the street. My alarm didn’t go off!

I leap out of bed, run downstairs to the office and pull up Amtrak's site so I can check to see if her train is delayed. Wait, what am I thinking?

It’s Amtrak.

Of COURSE it’s delayed!

But the question is, is it delayed enough for me to still make it to Union before she does!

At the time, it showed delayed just enough that if I can make the 7:55 train, I’ll just make it. But I still have to get dressed, and as I was running to the computer after waking up, I had also passed a mess my dog Missy had made during the night, she ate too many of her pig sticks and got sick all over the living room rug. Since MIL would at some point be seeing my living room rug, I had to stop and clean it right away. Thank heaven for steam vacs! In 15 minutes the rug was clean (although still damp) and I was dressed and headed out the door. I made it to the train station, parked, paid for my parking spot, and was on the platform with about 8 minutes to spare.

Only to find the Metra train was delayed about 15 minutes! What? Metra is almost NEVER late. Now MIL was certain to get to Union before I would. MIL is a small town girl and not used to being all by herself in big city like Chicago, and while Union Station and the surrounding area are quite safe, I was afraid she’d be upset and panic if no one was there to meet her. I could just see this middle aged woman, wandering around looking for her DIL-to-be with tears in her eyes, thinking she had been forgotten.

Did I mention I have a vivid imagination?

Metra shows up (finally!) and the trip to Chicago was uneventful. We pull in, and I race to the Amtrak part of the station, fly through the doors and stop at the information desk.

“Is the train from Pittsburgh here yet?”

“Oh no, ma’am, it’s running late, and it’s still about 20 minutes away or so.”

“Oh that’s just great, because I’m running late too!”

Since I left the house without anything to eat or drink, I stop at a newsstand to grab some water (I’m more thirsty than hungry) and by the time I get back, the train is pulling in. I meet with MIL and we stop at McD’s for breakfast before heading back to Metra to take the train home again.

Now, DFi works nights printing the newspaper, and after he was done with work, he had to go pick up Dude (his best man, best friend, and blood brother) from the airport. Dude also lives in Chambersburg, but unlike MIL, he’s perfectly happy to fly. DFi also takes Metra to work, so he didn’t have a car, so he took the “El” (Chicago-speak for the elevated train, although it’s also a subway train in a lot of areas too) to O’Hare to pick up Dude, took the El back to Union, and then picked up Metra to get to Elgin. They got home about an hour after we did. He hadn’t slept yet, so while DFi slept and Dude settled in (i.e. hooked up our Playstation2 so he could spend the afternoon playing games) MIL and I went to pick up my gown from the dress shop and stop at the store and pick up a few things I’d forgotten when I shopped the day before. Now, you’d think after a 20 hour train ride that my MIL would want to rest. At least that’s what I thought and had planned on running errands by myself while she did so.

“Oh I’m not really tired, and if I sleep now, I won’t sleep tonight. I’d love to come along and help you out!”

So off we go. Seeing how I’d only gotten about 4 hour’s sleep, what follows is rather predictable. My normally totally organized never-forgets-anything brain had only been fireing on three cylinders all week as it was, and by now I think I was down to two. The bridal shop only takes cash for alterations. They reminded me of this on the phone when I called to confirm the dress was ready. I was going to stop at the ATM on the way to get cash. I drive all the way to the shop, walk in the door, and realize that I’d forgotten to stop and get cash. “No problem” the clerk said “I’ll get the dress ready while you run out”. So we turn tail and drive down the block to a bank and go through the drive through. I withdraw my money and head back to the shop. The dress looks GREAT and I’m all happy. MIL loves the dress and is pleased to be with me while I pick it up (DFi has no siblings, so of course MIL has no daughters, and this is really special for her). We manage to stuff this 50 pound ball gown (and I’m not kidding, this thing really is about 50 pounds!) into my back seat and we’re off to pick up a few things at the grocery store. Now, I never keep much cash on me, as I pay for almost everything with my MasterCard logo ATM card, which just deducts money straight from my checking account. I go to pull my card out of my wallet and…

..wait…where is it? Where’s my ATM card?

Oh no! I think I left it IN THE ATM MACHINE AT THE DRIVE THRU!



I pay for the food on my real credit card (boy I hate doing that!) and race back to the bank. MIL waits in the car while I run in. I walk straight up to the receptionist.

“I was just in your drive thru, and I’m pretty sure I left my ATM card in it”

“Oh, have a seat and I’ll see what we can do”

A minute later a well dress woman, I’d say my age or a bit older, walks up to me”

“Well, if you left your card in the ATM, it would have sucked it back in after a minute, what we call a “capture”. The good news is that it will be safe. The bad news is that our policy is to mail the card back to the issuing bank, and then they’ll release it to you. So it will take a few days for that to happen. It’s all for your security, of course”. She looked a little worried, like I might start to yell at her or something. Far from the truth of course, it was all my own dumb fault, after all.”

“Oh, I understand. It’s just that I’m leaving for my honeymoon on Sunday and my bank can’t issue a new card that soon. I guess I’ll just have to run over there and take out a bunch of cash for the trip instead. Could you do me a favor, though, and check the machine to be sure you have it? I don’t want to cancel the card if I don’t have to, and I’m not 100% sure I left it in the machine”.

“Oh sure, give me a few minutes and I’ll find out for you”

A few minutes later, she comes walking back. Is that a card in her hand?

“Well, I’ve got some great news! The car behind you picked up the card and handed it in. Since it wasn’t “captured” the usually policy doesn’t apply, so I can give you the card back, I just need to see some i.d. if that’s okay?”

Okay? That’s freaking GREAT! I show her my license, she hands over the card, and says that if I ever want to switch banks, to please stop by (and I might, my bank is two towns away, I never switched after moving because my bank has such good service but driving so far is a pain in the butt). I thank her profusely and silently thank the good and honest person behind me in the drive-thru.

You have no idea the trouble you save my DFi and I. I believe in Karma, so someday, you will receive the same kind of help when you need it! Angels truly walk among us!

Crisis averted, we finally head home. My parents are coming over for dinner, so I get that started. Mom and Dad live in AZ most of the year, and only come home for about 2 months in the summer, staying with DB1 and SIL. This time they extended their stay until we were due home from the honeymoon. Anyway, part of their “keep” is to watch my nephews when needed. SIL had a class that night (she’s earning a 2nd masters in Education, she’s a special ed teacher) and so they brought DN1 along. He wasn’t going to eat, though, so I set him up in the living room with a Mickey Mouse DVD to entertain him while we had dinner. All through dinner, DN1 was laughing his head off. Another Disney convert!

The day before was MIL’s birthday, and since she had spent it on the train, DFi and I planed a little surprise party for her. Basically, I baked a cake, wrote “Happy Birthday” on it, and presented it to her (complete with candles) for desert. Then we gave her the presents we’d bought for her. She was so happy and so surprised; it was totally worth the extra effort! SIL came to pick up DN1, stopped and chatted for a while, and left with DN1. DFi also had to leave for work that night, so we said goodbye to him too.

Mom and MIL did the dishes while I sat at the computer to work on the wedding ceremony programs. Nothing like waiting until the last minute! My parents and MIL talked while I worked, they left not long after I’d finished printing them. They still had to be folded, but I was exhausted so I decided to leave that until morning.

Friday dawned sunny and warm. Hot, actually! I was getting a bit worried. Our ceremony was to be outside on the patio of the country club that the reception was at. The forecast for Saturday was sunny, so we lucked out in that regard, but was it now going to be too hot? I was to wear a 50 pound ball gown and the guys would be in tuxes. I was starting to worry that I or someone else would have a fainting fit from the heat. One more thing to worry about! Anyway, I started the day by making breakfast for my two guests, Dude and MIL. Why is a bride-to-be doing all this cooking right before the wedding, you ask? Actually, I love to cook and find it relaxing, this was a way to keep me both relaxed and busy at the same time. The day flew by, MIL joined me for a few more last minute errands (like getting my nails done). Up to now, she hadn’t bothered me too much. She talks. All the time. Non-stop. And after about a day it usually drives me crazy, but so far it hasn’t been too bad. But on the way home from getting our nails done, I hit my limit. MIL brought her camera, an “old fashioned” one with regular film and normal batteries. Her battery ran out after leaving the flash on all night and asked if we could stop and pick up a new one.

“DFi and I have tons of batteries at home, I’ll just give you one”

“Oh no, I couldn’t do that! I’d really rather stop and buy one myself”. MIL is the type that would rather die than put someone out, so there was no use forcing the issue, I spoted a Walgreens and left the car running while I waited for her. I figured she’d be in and out in about 5 mintues. We needed to run back home before going back out to go the the ceremony rehearsal and we didn’t have much time.

15 minutes later, she comes waltzing back out, battery in hand. I was livid, but since I wanted to be nice to my MIL-to-be and my houseguest, I just grit my teeth and asked her if she needed anything else before we headed home. We make it home with only about 15 minutes until we have to leave again for the rehearsal. I was hoping for more time to relax, but oh well. I noticed the message light on the answering machine was blinking. Probably one of the wedding vendors with a question or something. I play it. It’s from Dude’s…well…she’s not his girlfriend and they don’t live together, but they still have some sort of relationship. They also share custody of their little boy. The message was from her. Dude doesn’t have a cell phone so he gave her my number in case she needed to get a hold of him.

“Hi, this is Hope, Dude’s son’s mom. I need to talk with Dude, it’s urgent. Please have him call me ASAP.”

Oh no! Is his son sick? Is there some other problem? DFi has no family other than his mom and Dude, his dad died when he was 16, he has no siblings, and none of his other family were willing and/or able to attend the wedding! If there is really an emergency and Dude has to leave, DFi will have no one at his wedding other than his mom!

So, Dude has no cell phone, but DFi does. So I try to call him so he can pass the message on to Dude.

What’s that ringing? I hear a ringing coming from somewhere in the house as I try to call DFi. And his phone goes to voicemail…wait a minute!

The bonehead left his cell phone at home!

Oh well, we’ll see them at the rehersal in about 30 minutes anyway. So off we go once more! We get to the country club and meet up with DFi and Dude in the bar (where else?). I pass on the message, and Dude borrows DFi’s cell phone (which I brought a long like a good little fiancé). While Dude’s on the phone with Hope, DFi and I go upstairs to speak with the catering manager about a few final details before getting the rehersal started. The rehersal goes off just fine, and we then head to DB1 and SIL’s house for the dinner. We had it there because at the time we were planning the diner, DFi and I were in the middle of selling our condo and buying a house. We didn’t know when exactly we’d be moving, so rather than risk not having a place to hold the diner, SIL volunteerd her home. I made it easy on her, though, and ordered enough food for an army from Famous Dave’s Bar-b-que and had purchased enough beer and wine coolers to float a fleet of battle ships. Famous Dave’s even provided all the paper plates, napkins, etc. so she wouldn’t have much clean up to do. Having the food delivered was still cheaper than taking 20 people out to dinner at a restaurant. Also, since my two nephews were the ring bearers, they’d be able to be at the rehearsal dinner and still be able to go to bed at a decent time, since the dinner was at their house! Dinner was great, all the bridal party attendants loved their gifts, and DFi and I left for home at a decent hour.

W-Day dawns bright, clear, and most importantly cool! The plan is for DFi and Dude to go get haircuts and basically stay out of our way while us girls run the show. MIL goes for a walk, again to get out of our way. DFi’s mom may talk a lot and spend WAY too much time shopping for batteries, but she is at least considerate enough not to bug her DIL on her wedding day! I spend a more or less quiet morning steaming my veil and gathering all the crap….err…precious wedding accessories I’ll need to bring along to get ready at the country club. Marriage license, check! Make-up, check! Marriage license, check! Jewelry, check! Marriage license, check! Ceramony Programs, check! Marriage license, check! Ceremony Music, check! Marriage license, check! Hmmm, not paranoid about forgetting something, are we? No, not at all!

The next part of the day’s plan is for Tink and Nala to get their hair done and then pick me up and take me to lunch with the other BM’s before I have to be at the salon for my hair and make-up. They were supposed to be there no later than 10:30, as my salon appointments started at 12. It’s 10 minutes to 11, so I call Tink to find out what’s up.

“Well, they had another bridal party ahead of us, they are just finishing up with me and they haven’t even started Nala yet. But don’t worry, I’ll take Nala’s car and pick you up, and Nala’s boyfriend will come get her when she’s done and meet up with us later”.

“Okay, but we won’t have time for lunch, we’ll have to pick something up on the way”

“Oh no, we’ll be fine!” Now, I though she meant that we’d still have time for a sit-down lunch at Red Robin. Uh, no. No we won’t be ‘fine”. I’m still calm, but Tink has a way of ALWAYS needing to be right, so I had to be firm with her to get my point across. “No, Tink! We are not “fine”. My appointments are at 12, you need to come pick me up, we will stop for food on the way, and head straight to the salon”. My tone brooked no argument. And for once, Tink paid attention, I think she thought I was freaking out and wanted to keep the Bride from becoming Bridezilla. “Okay, okay, I’m on my way and I’ll be there in 10.”

About 10 minutes later, Tink gets there, we load my dress and other wedding crap into Nala’s car, and head off to the salon. “Jasmine is going to pick up food from Red Robin and meet us at the salon, we’ll have time to eat before going in, and I’d rather you have real food than junk from McD’s” Tink said as we were driving. “Sounds good to me!” I said, happy as a clam. I apologized for sounding harsh on the phone, I explained I just wanted to get my point across and that I wasn’t upset at all. Tink explained that she meant we were okay for time, not that she still expected we’d be able to eat at the restaurant! All was good!

We get to the salon just as Jasmine pulled up with the food, and we ate in the car while parked in the lot in front of the salon. Then I was pampered while my hair and make-up was done. And we were ahead of schedule, too. It was 1:30 when I was done and didn’t need to be at the country club until 3:30 (ceremony was at 5). Hmmm, what to do…what to do…

Well, what else but margaritas! There was a decent Mexican restaurant about 5 minutes from the country club. We called my best guy friend Jay (also one of the groomsmen) and my DB2 (another groomsman) to meet up with us girls for drinks. We had a merry time, and half way through the drink, the Bride was feeling no pain! Wisely, she stopped before it became impossible to walk and talk properly.

We get to the country club, and everything is great, and running on time. The florist, photographer and video guy are all there, ready to go. I start to get dressed. I’m putting on my nylons when I suddenly realized…

…I forgot my shoes!!!!

My SIL was standing by, heard me exclaim “Oh ****, I forgot my shoes” and turns to run and get my DB2. He is given a key to the house and instructions on where the shoes are (my bedroom closet in a grey shoe box with a slip of paper stapled to the outside, it’s the only shoe box in the closet, can’t miss it). Unfortunately the house is about 25 minutes away, one way. We only had about 35 minutes to kick-off time. Just then the minister arrived, asking if we were on time and if I had the marriage certificate. I explained about the shoes, he said he’d announce to the growing crowd that it would be delayed about 15 minutes. “Okay, well, I have the certificate in my backpack, let me get it. I rummage through the bag. Where is it? I know I packed it. I KNOW I packed it! It’s not in the bag.

I’m pretty sure you go to hell for swearing in front of a minister, right?

I then remembered that I’d taken a few things out of the bag to get ready, so maybe it fell out! I look on a near by chair, and there it is! I then realized that I’d put it between the two pantyhose packages so that it wouldn’t get all wrinkled, and when I pulled out the pantyhose to put on, the certificate came out along with it! Phew! I handed him the precious piece of paper and he left to inform the crowd that the bride was an airhead.

DB2 got back with the shoes in good time, I slipped them on like Cinderella must have done, and we were ready to go. I walked out to the patio, met up with my dad (who came closest to making me cry because HE almost started to cry!) and he walked me down the aisle. It was a perfect fall day, not too hot, not too cool, bright and sunny! Later, I told DFi that the good weather was a wedding gift from his Dad (his dad died when DFi was 16) and that he must have had a good view of the ceremony, seeing how he was watching over us and all.

The ceremony, photo session, and reception went off without any further hitches. The bride and groom left in a limo, taking them to a nice all-suite hotel by O’Hare so we could catch our flight to Orlando the next day.

…to be continued in my trip report: An Over-planner's Guide to Honeymooning at WDW: Part One!

 

[pumba]

thanks so much for letting us be part of your wedding day......I know about forgetting stuff right before the big day.......38 and a half years ago I did the same thing....only I think someone didn't have their skivvies.......thanks again for yoru report

 

[tmq2766]

Ahhhhhhh.... I grew up in Elgin and still live in the area so I feel like I was right there with ya..... CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!