Potty training question.....

[mla2177]

Thanks. I'd rather not do either myself, but at least one is contained and not all over bedspreads, carpeting, stuffed animals, God knows where. To each her own I guess, but thanks for your input.

And she is 2 almost 3, not 4.

Just so you know, I have a neice (hubby's side) who used to pull her diapers off and smear poop all over the place!!!!!! By the way, she started being trained at 2 and is now 4 and is still wearing diapers, pull ups and training pants depending on what kind of mood their in!!!! They are waiting for her to tell them when she's ready!!! I wonder who the parent is?? Should they give her the option to be in a carseat too!

 

[skuttle]

DS turned 3 in July. It took him a while to become interested in the potty. Towards the end of July, his daycare suggested that I start sending him to school in just underwear because he was staying dry most of the day. We did that for a week. He would have at least one accident a day. He would hold his pee so long and then when he'd go it would be like a flood gate opened up!

That first weekend with just underwear, I had enough one day and sat him down and explained how disappointed I was in him for wetting himself. That seemed to do that trick and he have very few accidents after that. The next weekend we had the same talk, but this time about poopy. Again, that worked and he got. Once he "got it", he was trained in a couple of weeks. We did have a sticker chart for him. It took him a little while to get used to going out in public when we asked him to...for a while he was holding until he couldn't anymore!

We kept him in pullups at night for about a month. I told him that I didn't want him to go in the pullups at night, that they were "just in case" since he was still learning. He understood that and did wake us up when he had to potty at night about 1/2 of the time. I told him that this was the last pack of pullups and prepared him for the underwear only. He still has accidents at night every now and then when he goes to bed really tired, but over all he does well. Night is the only time he has an accident.

 

[debbi801]

some kids are just not ready until they're older. My youngest is *finally* potty trained at 4 1/2. There was absolutely no medical reason for the dealy, he just wasnt ready. When he was ready, he became potty trained and accident free in about 2-3 days. He's worn underwear now for 2 weeks without an accident.

What did work for us was having a potty in every bathroom and scheduling a weekend where we stayed home and kept him naked from the waist down. For some reason, having him naked helped him recognize the signs. After a few days of naked at home and lots of do you have to go potty prompting, it clicked.

Good luck. I hope it goes smoothly for you when the time comes. I know for us, the more we pushed, the more he refused until he decided he was ready. It can become a huge battle of wills. After complaining to the pediatrician about it, we decided to follow his advice and stop pushing the issue for a few months and then try again.

 

[robinb]

Every kid is different. My DD wasn't potty trained until almost 5. And then she had still had accidents every now and then. She didn't want to stop playing so put off the potty until opps! she wet herself. I think it was half of her being "ready" and the other half her own little power play. She was in charge of her body and she was going to do whatever she wanted with it. No amount of pleading, brides, m&ms, stickers or praise made a bit of difference with her. It's just the kind of kid she is. I think she finally (mostly) potty trained because she was starting Kindergarten. You may be in for another couple of years of this. Sorry . I hated potty training.

 

[mamatojon]

Just so you know, I have a neice (hubby's side) who used to pull her diapers off and smear poop all over the place!!!!!! By the way, she started being trained at 2 and is now 4 and is still wearing diapers, pull ups and training pants depending on what kind of mood their in!!!! They are waiting for her to tell them when she's ready!!! I wonder who the parent is?? Should they give her the option to be in a carseat too!

Why in the world are you so hostile? What difference does it make to you anyway? I think it is great that you have had such success in the potty training area. I just know that when my son was 3, I tried so hard and did everything the books and websites said (yes, I was consistent) and we still endured months, not weeks of not only accidents, but just not giving a rip about toileting. Stubborn, resistant, not ready, I don't know - I just know that I became a mother I didn't want to be and when I talked to the pediatrician about it (I was that frusturated) they reassured me that children will potty train when they are ready and that I needed to relax and not make it such a struggle. He trained when he was ready, at about 3 yrs 9 months, and night trained within weeks after that.

I was only commiserating with the OP because my daughter seems to have the same willful spirit that she mentioned in her daughter. I also really fail to see the comparison between toilet training and car seat usage, your kid doesn't run the risk of dying if he isn't out of diapers by four.

 

[mla2177]

Why in the world are you so hostile? What difference does it make to you anyway? I think it is great that you have had such success in the potty training area. I just know that when my son was 3, I tried so hard and did everything the books and websites said (yes, I was consistent) and we still endured months, not weeks of not only accidents, but just not giving a rip about toileting. Stubborn, resistant, not ready, I don't know - I just know that I became a mother I didn't want to be and when I talked to the pediatrician about it (I was that frusturated) they reassured me that children will potty train when they are ready and that I needed to relax and not make it such a struggle. He trained when he was ready, at about 3 yrs 9 months, and night trained within weeks after that.

I was only commiserating with the OP because my daughter seems to have the same willful spirit that she mentioned in her daughter. I also really fail to see the comparison between toilet training and car seat usage, your kid doesn't run the risk of dying if he isn't out of diapers by four.

I am so hostile, because I got a lot of criticism from my in-laws with the way I potty trained. I really get irritated when people say they are waiting for their child to tell them when they are ready. That was the point with the car seat. You don't give them the option, you just tell them we are going to potty train!!!! Like I said in my Op, they do have to show signs of being ready, I understand that. I got criticism from them because they all told me that method won't work and that their kids took years to train!!! The proof is in the pudding! I was trying to help the OP so she doesn't have to ordeal years of a power struggle with her child! That's all it is too! They know they are in control! I do understand every child is diffrent. My sister used the same method and her daughter was trained in 2 weeks. Mine took two months! It's still better than two years! I am sorry if I offended you, that was not my intention.

 

[AtlantaSue]

Hi - I didn't read all of the posts, but here's my recent experience. DS will be 4 on Dec. 16th. Up until around October sometime, he never once initiated the potty on his own - he just was not interested at all. I talked about it, tried to encourage, but he just was not ready. Then, one day - he just went in on his own and did it -yee ha! I don't even remember much "training" after that - -he just kept going on his own. When he hit 3.5 and still was in diapers, I wanted to rip my hair out - - but he just wasn't a willing participant, and I think you REALLY need that! Good luck!

 

[MareQ]

I am so hostile, because I got a lot of criticism from my in-laws with the way I potty trained. I really get irritated when people say they are waiting for their child to tell them when they are ready. That was the point with the car seat. You don't give them the option, you just tell them we are going to potty train!!!! Like I said in my Op, they do have to show signs of being ready, I understand that. I got criticism from them because they all told me that method won't work and that their kids took years to train!!! The proof is in the pudding! I was trying to help the OP so she doesn't have to ordeal years of a power struggle with her child! That's all it is too! They know they are in control! I do understand every child is diffrent. My sister used the same method and her daughter was trained in 2 weeks. Mine took two months! It's still better than two years! I am sorry if I offended you, that was not my intention.

What works for YOU is only good for YOU. It's extremely arrogant to think that your way is the right way and everybody else is doing it wrong. Every child is different - every parents way of parenting is different - parents have to do what works without people judging or being critical of their reasons. Considering the fact that you said you got criticism regarding your own methods I am surprised you're dishing it out to others.

 

[robinb]

You don't give them the option, you just tell them we are going to potty train!!!! Like I said in my Op, they do have to show signs of being ready, I understand that. I got criticism from them because they all told me that method won't work and that their kids took years to train!!! The proof is in the pudding!

The "proof" is that your kid had the personality to potty train easier. I know you don't mean to be rude or hurtful, but it comes across that way to those of us who had/have problems potty training. Believe me, we feel like parental failures enough not to have someone rub our noses in it. Just because your method worked for you doesn't mean it will work with other kids. Consider yourself lucky that you didn't have to go through years of hell like I did.

 

[DisneyMomx7]

I've trained seven kids - and its been different for each one of them. The easiest one to train was trained right before her 2nd birthday - the hardest one was trained right after his 4th birthday. Believe me I felt like a failure when ds just wouldn't seem to get trained. He's now in his 3rd year of college with a 4.0 GPA so I've learned that its not so big in the grand scheme of life when they get trained.

One word of advice I can get give after all that is relax! Kids WILL NOT be trained until they are ready, although its definitely a good idea to steer them to the potty. My MIL insists that DH was trained at 6 months - now who do you think was trained - MIL!!! If you are having trouble potty training believe me so are lots of others. You are not alone. It will finally happen so RELAX!

 

[noodleknitter]

Don't remember the author, but one parenting authority wrote a book about potty training, how-to, and how easy it was. He/she had one child...

Well, you can just guess what happened when he/she had the second! No way did the original perfect plan work for the next one!

You can't make a child use the toilet. One of my friends mom's tried. She rubbed his nose in it like he was a dog. And yes, he does still remember. I liked to wait until they were interested, because it worked overnight, virtually. Sure there was the occasional night-time accident, but I didn't have to clean up the floors, beds, for weeks or for months. But I think that diapers/pull-ups bother some more than others.

OP, good luck! I'm sorry it is a rough road!

 

[Carolinagirl1063]

I didn't read all of the posts but I can tell you that my doctor said that they will let you know when they are ready. I tried a couple of times with no success, just lots of distress. My daughter was around 4 when she trained herself. I bribed her too. We were in Toysrus and she saw a Mickey Christmas movie she wanted and a Dora dollhouse. I bought the movie and told her she could only have it when she went to the potty consistently for a whole day with no accidents. I also promised the dollhouse when she went a week dry. I did not mention it again, neither did she for about 3 days. On the fourth day she woke up and asked for big girl panties. She earned the movie that day and has been dry ever since. She counted down the 7 days to that dollhouse! It was definitely the best $50 I ever spent!

 

[Mrs.Toad]

My kids both trained pretty easily, so I don't know if this will work with a harder-to-potty-train child, but it might be worth a try...

I had read that instead of telling the child to "go potty", you should concentrate on "keeping your pants dry." It really seemed to be a light bulb moment for both my girls, where they realized that in order to keep their pants dry, they needed to use the potty.

Even now, when we're leaving for a long drive or something, and we tell the almost 4yo to go to the bathroom before we leave the house, she'll say she doesn't need to. But if we add "We'll be in the car a long time. Can you keep your pants dry if you don't go now?", she runs for the bathroom.

Good luck.

 

[mamatojon]

I am so hostile, because I got a lot of criticism from my in-laws with the way I potty trained. I really get irritated when people say they are waiting for their child to tell them when they are ready. That was the point with the car seat. You don't give them the option, you just tell them we are going to potty train!!!! Like I said in my Op, they do have to show signs of being ready, I understand that. I got criticism from them because they all told me that method won't work and that their kids took years to train!!! The proof is in the pudding! I was trying to help the OP so she doesn't have to ordeal years of a power struggle with her child! That's all it is too! They know they are in control! I do understand every child is diffrent. My sister used the same method and her daughter was trained in 2 weeks. Mine took two months! It's still better than two years! I am sorry if I offended you, that was not my intention.

Okay, I can see you're quite defensive about this. I am truly glad for you that you have children that have personalities in line with your method. I think it stinks that your in-laws gave you a hard time about your choices, but it also stinks to come on a message board and get a hard time for my decisions. I'll just say this and then bow out here, I try not to judge people about their parenting unless they are hurting their kids. It is not a fun way to live, doesn't give me anything positive, and doesn't put out anything positive to the world either. Thanks for the apology and I hope you have a great weekend.

 

[Dina]

My son is just hit 3.5, and has absolutely no interest at all. To say he has no interest is an understatement-- he hates the idea of the potty. My older son was the same and was almost 4 when trained (it did happen very quickly-- I can honestly say that he never had one accident). My MIL has told me that it's my fault, if I had started them before they turned two like she and my SIL did, then it would have been easier. I went through years of she and SIL implying that I was a horrible mother because DS#1 wasn't trained by 3, and now I'm going through it again. It stinks, so I do understand about criticism. This is naked potty training weekend in this house, we did this with DS#1 a few years ago, and it seemed to help, so we're doing it again. I just have to get my son trained by September so he can go to pre-k (he couldn't go to nursery school this year because of the potty, and I felt horrible about it). Joe's hoping we get him trained by end of January for trip to Disney, but I'm not holding my breath. People really make you feel inadequate when you have an older kid not trained.

 

[Cool-Beans]

I bribed. 3 1/2 does seem a bit old to not be using the potty...but who cares?

She'll get it before she's 30. Count on it.

 

[kinntj]

Going through potty training DD 2.7 now. I'm sick this week, so I'm putting it off for now. We'll pick up again after I'm feeling better. Nothing like hacking and coughing, trying to rest and potty training. It just doesn't work.

I can attest to kids being completely different. My DD 4 was pee trained in the potty at 18 mos. That seems young, but that's just the type of kid she is. It took a little longer to poo, because she liked to do that on all fours and it's hard to adjust to the potty that way. She finally got it 2 months before her 3rd birthday. We used a poop grab bag. If she poo'd in the potty she got to choose a wrapped gift from the box. At first she didn't care at all about them, but after awhile she wanted those so badly she would sit on the potty and just wait and wait to go. Sometimes she didn't go and would get up and be frustrated for all her hard work, but I said maybe next time she'll get it. I just tried to keep her focused and positive.

Now we started with our youngest when she was 2 1/2 and she just hasn't wanted to do it. She doesn't like poop or pee in her pants, so she does ask me to change her when it happens by bringing me a diaper. I really think she's ready, but I have to find the right motivation to keep it going.

Guess where my friend's 3 1/2 year old finally decided she wanted to go potty? WDW!!!! She must have watched other kids going in the restrooms and it clicked for her. She said that trip was worth it just from the potty training alone.

Nobody is a bad parent for their kids not being trained at an early age. Kids are all different in this area, as others have said. You can suggest maybe she/he sit on the potty, but they'll go when they are ready...period.

 

[Goofyluver]

I wouldn't push it. If you're having to put her on the pot every 10 minutes, she's not ready. Some kiddos just take a longer time.

When you think she's more ready...reward and bribe!!!! I used this with my DS. I had a huge fish bowl full of prizes. (itty bitty dollar store things) He got one prize for pee and two for poop! Worked in 2 days.

 

[cybrkitn]

DS turned 3 in July. It took him a while to become interested in the potty. Towards the end of July, his daycare suggested that I start sending him to school in just underwear because he was staying dry most of the day. We did that for a week. He would have at least one accident a day. He would hold his pee so long and then when he'd go it would be like a flood gate opened up!

That first weekend with just underwear, I had enough one day and sat him down and explained how disappointed I was in him for wetting himself. That seemed to do that trick and he have very few accidents after that. The next weekend we had the same talk, but this time about poopy. Again, that worked and he got. Once he "got it", he was trained in a couple of weeks. We did have a sticker chart for him. It took him a little while to get used to going out in public when we asked him to...for a while he was holding until he couldn't anymore!

We kept him in pullups at night for about a month. I told him that I didn't want him to go in the pullups at night, that they were "just in case" since he was still learning. He understood that and did wake us up when he had to potty at night about 1/2 of the time. I told him that this was the last pack of pullups and prepared him for the underwear only. He still has accidents at night every now and then when he goes to bed really tired, but over all he does well. Night is the only time he has an accident.

DS4 was in daycare from 6 weeks up till this past summer, full time. They suggested when he was around 2, 2 1/2 to put him in underwear. Sure, he had accidents, but he finally got it. He's in pre-school now and does have his occasional accidents (he does go, but just doesn't make it to the bathroom in time).

He's not potty trained at night yet, but this weekend we're going to try underwear. He's been having dry pull-ups for almost a week, I think his body is finally able to hold it at night. His room is also upstairs and we don't have anyway to put a light in the hallway so he can see where he is going should he need to get up in the middle of the night. Although he did surprise us last weekend, he got up before us and went downstairs to use the bathroom. DH and I were so proud of him as this was the first time he's ever done that!

Skuttle, you were lucky your son re-acted the way he did when you told him you were disappointed in him. That is one area where parents need to tread carefully on. I had the exact opposite. I was getting annoyed at my son when he would have too many accidents at pre-school in the beginning because the rule is three strikes and the child is out. The school sees too many "accidents" in a row as a sign the child is not potty trained and ready for school (and I can understand that). Unfortunately, my fear of him having to go back to daycare full time rubbed off on him and he got to the point where he was afraid because "mommy will be mad at me if I go in my underwear again." He was afraid to tell me he wet himself. Family, friends and school tried to warn me to not be so hard on him, but I couldn't stop until I one day I was told what he said. That really touched me that now, I don't make a big deal out of it. But for a time there, he was scared of me.

The only time he has problems with too many accidents is when his schedule is off. Example: Last year we had a split vacation between VA and PA. He was fine during the vacation but after we got back, his schedule was so off that he would go through about 1-2 pairs of clothes each day for a week at daycare. He wasn't that bad after our vacation from Disney this trip, but I did warn the school about it and they had no problem with it.

I'm hoping he gets fully potty trained at night soon. $11.49 for pull-ups does add up. Plus DH and I are trying for #2. I'd like to have DS out of pull-ups before we have a second baby.

 

[mla2177]

DS4 was in daycare from 6 weeks up till this past summer, full time. They suggested when he was around 2, 2 1/2 to put him in underwear. Sure, he had accidents, but he finally got it. He's in pre-school now and does have his occasional accidents (he does go, but just doesn't make it to the bathroom in time).

He's not potty trained at night yet, but this weekend we're going to try underwear. He's been having dry pull-ups for almost a week, I think his body is finally able to hold it at night. His room is also upstairs and we don't have anyway to put a light in the hallway so he can see where he is going should he need to get up in the middle of the night. Although he did surprise us last weekend, he got up before us and went downstairs to use the bathroom. DH and I were so proud of him as this was the first time he's ever done that!

Skuttle, you were lucky your son re-acted the way he did when you told him you were disappointed in him. That is one area where parents need to tread carefully on. I had the exact opposite. I was getting annoyed at my son when he would have too many accidents at pre-school in the beginning because the rule is three strikes and the child is out. The school sees too many "accidents" in a row as a sign the child is not potty trained and ready for school (and I can understand that). Unfortunately, my fear of him having to go back to daycare full time rubbed off on him and he got to the point where he was afraid because "mommy will be mad at me if I go in my underwear again." He was afraid to tell me he wet himself. Family, friends and school tried to warn me to not be so hard on him, but I couldn't stop until I one day I was told what he said. That really touched me that now, I don't make a big deal out of it. But for a time there, he was scared of me.

The only time he has problems with too many accidents is when his schedule is off. Example: Last year we had a split vacation between VA and PA. He was fine during the vacation but after we got back, his schedule was so off that he would go through about 1-2 pairs of clothes each day for a week at daycare. He wasn't that bad after our vacation from Disney this trip, but I did warn the school about it and they had no problem with it.

I'm hoping he gets fully potty trained at night soon. $11.49 for pull-ups does add up. Plus DH and I are trying for #2. I'd like to have DS out of pull-ups before we have a second baby.

That was another big push for me to train and get it over with!!!! I didn't want to pay for Pull -ups or diapers for another two years if I didn't have to.
My hubby was me when he heard how long it took all his co-workers children to be trained (using Pull-ups).

I'm wondering if anyone else potty trained the way I did, and if so, how long did it take?