Potty training need advice.

[alh2011]

I hope this is okay to post if not please remove.
We are going to Disney Sept 25-Oct 3. We have a 3yo son and he will pee on the potty with no prob(does have occasional accidents) but he still want poop on the potty. I'm needing advice one because of our disney trip and two because he started preschool today. I don't want to be having to use changing tables at Disney to clean up poop. And if he doesn't learn quickly he may get kicked out of preschool. So I'm really stressing!!

So he does wear underwear all the time except for at bedtime and nap time. He will pee in potty with no issues. He will tell us when he needs to go but we also still try and ask him or even take him throughout the day. The problem is he is pooping in his underwear. He doesn't hide when he does it, it's like it just happens. Then he will walk funny or even sometimes will tell us he stinky poo pooed. It's just that I can't get him to come tell us before he does it.

He doesn't poop on any kind of schedule either so that makes it hard to take him to set on potty for that. Also his stools are usually soft so maybe he's not feeing the pressure until it's too late?

I try and explain to him that he's supposed to poop on potty and to come tell us before he poops in underwear and he will repeat what I've been telling him each time he poops in underwear. So I really don't know what to do.

It took awhile to get him to tell us he had to pee but then it's like it just clicked one day. That may be the case with the pooping but I need him trained now because he's supposed to be fully potty trained for preschool. So if in a couple weeks he's still pooping in underwear I think they will kick him out of school. I really don't want that to happen because he LOVES going to preschool!!!

So if anybody has some advice, tips, tricks I would love to hear them!!

Side note: today at school he did not want to use the potty and hen ended up having an accident- I was upset but I honestly think it's because new environment. He teacher said she has all the kids go to potty before they go outside and he didn't want to go. She said he finally went in and stood there so she helped him take down pants. She said he didn't do anything. And then a minute later had an accident. And she said u could tell he was upset hat he had. So I'm chalking it up to being in he new environment. Praying he doesn't digress and stop peeing too because we have come so far!!!

 

[Alesia]

Not wanting to poop in the potty is completely normal and pushing him is only going to make it worse, both mentally and physically. It's time to back off.

http://www.whattoexpect.com/toddler/behavior/potty-training-problem-refusing-to-poop.aspx

http://www.parenting.com/article/potty-pooping-anxiety

 

[mjkacmom]

If he gets kicked out of oreschool, oh well. Do not make this issue a battle. My oldest poop trained an entire year after he pee trained, my other ds 6 months later. Fortunately, they also refused to poop in underwear, and insisted on a diaper or pull-up. Therefore, preschool was not a problem.

Forcing can lead to withholding, which leads to a serious health condition, which can be permanent. Ds17's BFF in preschool had the same issue, and they are still good friends today. Maybe I should bring it up when they are together - lol.

Bribing didn't work, begging didn't work, nothing worked until it happened. Make sure he always sits when peeing - someday, it will slip on out, and he will be done.

 

[krazystain]

I agree. My 3.5 yo DS has been pee potty trained for about 8 mos, but he just recently (2 mos ago) started pooping in the potty. We tried everything that you have (bribes, reasoning, naked time, pull-ups, underwear, you name it). One day he came to us and told us the poop was coming and he sat on the toilet. Hasn't pooped in his pants since then. It'll come, every kid just develops at their own pace. It's a bummer that preschool makes us pressure them if they're not comfortable with the potty yet.

 

[alh2011]

Thanks everybody for advice. I'm going to just keep keep encouraging him to let me know when he needs to poo poo and it will happen when it happens! Glad to knowing not the only one with this problem.

 

[tmh43]

I know this isn't what you're wanting to hear, but everyone here is right. There is no magical potty training technique- it's a biological milestone that cannot be forced. My son was the *exact* same. We put him back in diapers. (We were like oh if we put him in undies the poop on the potty will come- nope!) after a few months he asked for undies, we told him all of his poop and pee needed to go in the toilet, and then it just happened. The preschool situation is hard, but it sounds like it's too much pressure on both of you. I would have a frank conversation with the teacher and ask what they can do to help. Maybe you can find a program that won't be so strict with being potty trained? Most around where I live are "actively potty training."

 

[tmh43]

Whoops look like you posted while I rambled. Lol good luck!

 

[unrequited23]

For my little guy, we had trouble keeping him on the potty long enough to fully complete his business. I told him if he pooped on the potty he could go to build a bear and pick out an animal--this is a huge reward for us. He then decided to sit on the potty for 2.5 hrs with an array of books and refused to get off. Things have been going well since then, but he still needs a book, game, or toy to keep in one spot long enough. He rarely tells us when he needs to go. I understand the worries about preschool.

 

[laughinplace199]

My oldest was like this too. What we did was put her in underwear since she was pee trained. When she had to poop, she'd ask for a diaper. We'd put the diaper on her, but she had to go stand in the bathroom to take care of her business - she couldn't play or watch TV while she pooped. Gradually, we put the diaper on looser and had her sit on the potty to poop. Then eventually, she was willing to sit on the potty and poop without the diaper. It felt like forever, but I think it only took a month or so.

 

[myrtleturtle]

I agree with the others. Just went through this with my son and the thing that helped it click for him was to put the poop into the potty when he went in his undies. I would say "poop goes in here" in a very cheerful voice. But no pressure or scolding when he went.

 

[DisneyRegulars]

We had a slightly different poop problem. Our son was pee trained, but would only go #2 in his pull-up in the middle of the night. We went through hell trying everything to get him to stop, including things like making him clean himself up, or cool showers in the middle of the night to get him cleaned. Nothing worked and I feel so bad now, looking back. I should have just let it be. After a year and a half of night pooping, I talked with our pediatrician and we started giving him some miralax in the mornings, and then forcing him to try and poo before bed. This got his body into a different schedule, so in a few months he was only going before bed, but it took a good four to five months. It took a whole other year before we could get him off the miralax. I'm not sure if this would help you at all because it sounds like your sons poo is soft already, but it may help to allow him to "poo on demand", then maybe you could get him onto a schedule so he wouldn't need to go at school.

Like others have said, don't sweat it. Hang in there, I know how stressful these situations can be. This is coming from a mom of a great kid that had poo problems AND managed to get himself kicked out of daycare for biting. It will get better!

 

[DisneyRegulars]

I forgot to add we had a major reward system going too. I bought hot wheel wall tracks, and sat them on our kitchen counter. He had to earn a certain number of stickers to get the track. Worked amazingly well. But the rewards only worked if he could see the prize, things like "we'll go to the store and buy a treat" didn't work at all. He needed to see it! And it needed to be awesome!

 

[alh2011]

Thanks everybody for your advice and also for helping me realize it's okay and he will catch on when he's ready! Now I will just keep encouraging him to go in the potty and will definitely try the cool prizes he can see. If he gets kicked out of preschool so be it. He can go next year!! And I will try and find another place that allows them to be actively potty training while there.

 

[LovesTimone]

Frist off every kiddo is different, don't stress... it will work out. Your an awesome mom, and you are trying to get a handle on the issue. That's all you can do is keep trying different things.

My youngest niece was very hard to potty train, both for number 1 and 2. She was almost 4 years old. I suggested the reward system so that she could see it the reward, its the instant gratification that did the trick. You don't have to spend a fortune on the rewards, just small stuff works great. My niece loved loved those jelly like bracelets and these little pet shop toys, within 3 days she had number 1 under control, number 2 took about 2 weeks, but it got better each day. Also they started sticking to a potty schedule, before and after meals, before and after naps, at least once a hour, till they saw sorta how her system was working and looking for more signs in her body language. She would be playing along and then just get into this sorta awkward squat position. My mom was over there visiting and noticed the que right away. My Brother and SIL thought that she would just learn without them really putting in the effort they are just that way. They were sorta like we don't want to pressure her, blah blah blah... for me it was like your to lazy to get off the couch to do your job as a parent. My older niece, spent the weekend with my DD when I was potty training her (my DD), and by the end of the weekend they both had the hang of it.. not perfect but well on their way, and they both had brand new princess panties..