Potty Training Help Needed!!!

[mommy4]

Here's the story. I am trying to potty train my son who is almost 3 1/2. He is my third son, so I'm not new to potty training. However, I can not get him trained! He will go if I put him on the potty, but he will not have a BM in the potty. He starts preschool next week and I am at a loss. Should I just keep him in underwear all the time??? I tend to put him in pull-ups. My 2 older sons just decided one day that they were going to do it and it was done, but my C is stubborn. Help!

 

[dougsmom98]

When I trained my kids we never used pull ups or diapers. We always went cold turkey and used underpants only. It is worth a try. Be prepared for poopy underwear though.

 

[Robmom]

I don't have any advice, but I feel your pain. My DS is the same age and has no interest in using the potty at all. Thankfully the school he goes to now has no problem changing diapers, but next year when he goes to regular school, he has to be potty trained.

 

[GJM]

My DS was the same way - nothing worked with him, rewards, stickers, candy all that - he could care less.

He didn't like sitting to pee, so one day I had a little stool and told him we would play a game. I put Cherrios in the toilet and told him to try and pee and hit the Cherrios - It worked!

From then on he was trained. The night time training took awhile and he was in pull ups for just the night.

 

[mommy4]

Thanks for all your responses so far. I have tried everything, rewards, stickers, a special gift. I have tried the Cheerios too, he doesn't like to stand, he likes to sit.
Oh, this is so frustruating! The preschool said since he is only there 2 1/2 hours for 2 days a week, that he can wear a pull-up, but maybe at home I should just do underwear all the time. I'll try anything at this point.
The thing is- he is Mr. Independent and very stubborn. He is so smart too. I'm beginning to think that my 19 month old daughter may be potty trained before him!

 

[NY_MOM]

I would try going straight to underwear, and just be prepared for any accidents. Maybe without the security of a pull-up he may be more apt to use the potty. Try asking him about every 1/2 hour if he has the urge to go potty.

 

[Natalie_89]

iv bin so lucky with my boy..hes 2 next month and my friends little girl has started usin the potty he saw her use it 1 day 2 weeks ago and since then he decided "i want to use the poty" and has bin dry in underpants since how lucky is that lol i fort it wood be so hard and was dreadin it its a miricle

 

[mjkacmom]

Nakey butt for the pee training, and for the poop training, he'll do it when he's ready. If he's ready, and it sounds like he is, nakey butt for a few days (he'll probably be accident free, BTW - start will a potty in the room he's in), and when he's mastered it, pant or shorts - no underwear (feels too much like a diaper at this point in training). Dd5 actually went commando for about 6 months.

I sent 2 kids to preschool who refused to poop in the potty - luckily, they also refused to poop in their pants, and could easily hold it (kids who won't poop in the potty are VERY good at holding it, unfortunately). Do not mess with this issue - witholding does cause permanent bowel damage.

 

[abdmom]

I feel your pain as well. My son is 3 years, 1 month. We did potty training in earnest in July. He now goes pee very easily. He doesn't want to poop though. I did the cold turkey (more or less) and he is in underwear. Every time he feels the urge to go though, he just tries to hold it in instead of sitting and going. Eventually, though, it just has to come out.

They moved him from the classroom where they were doing potty training to a new classroom where everyone is supposed to be potty trained - and he's regressed. I suppose he'll get it eventually, but for now, I'm doing a lot of laundry.

 

[mncherokee]

My DH was a preschool teacher for years... if a child wasn't potty trained when they got them, they would be in 24 hours. I don't know if it was peer pressure or what but it always worked!

Sounds to me like your baby just wants to continue to be your baby. I would tell him that when he starts preschool he will wear underwear and be expected to use the potty every single time. My guess is that he will 'go' for them.

Good luck!

 

[skjj2009]

UGH I feel your pain. My ds is 3.5 and although he's fairly good about going and in underwear full time (other than for naps and night) we still have the occassional accidents and he waits until he's in the diapers to do his business. I've actually started taking him to the potty and telling him he has to poop before he goes in for his nap. It's worked and sometimes he fights me. I didn't put him in preschool because he doesn't always tell us when he has to go potty. I know how long he can go before he needs to hit the bathroom so if he doesn't tell me I take him or continually ask him. He also won't pull up or push down his own pants...stubborn isn't even the word for him most of the time My preschool (dd is in pre-k there) is hurting for enrollment so they said they'd take him in pull ups and help him go to the bathroom but I don't feel like its their job and am not comfortable with the fact that he's not independent enough to at least pull up and down his own pants. I'm hoping by January he'll be better and maybe I can put him in then. I wish I had some better advice for you. I just wanted you to know you aren't alone. Training this boy has been so frustrating! I'm glad I'm done after this

 

[TK Brown]

My ds is the same way. He'll go to the bathroom some to pee, but not to poop. No matter what we have tried, it just doesnt seem to work. I thin khe will just do it when he is good and ready and not a second early.

 

[K and K's Mommy]

If anyone has any solutions about the pooping thing, let me know too! My son has been potty trained since June for peeing. I am not worried about preschool because we only wear diapers at night. About 5 minutes after getting in bed, he poops. We have tried putting him on the toilet before bed, but he screams and refuses. Not sure what to do..... He is also my third, and I have never had this before!

 

[piratemamaof3]

I can just send hugs. Wish I had advice. Honestly my son is 4 1/2 and we have peed for a yr but poops any where but the potty. He has a few times on his own but that's it. Still nothing. he is my 3rd also maybe it's the 3rd boy. They all have apt. coming up and I am going to make that Dr. give me a magic answer I had some trouble w/ my other ones but not this much. We have done rewards, offered toys, left him in there and recently taken away all his fav. toys, blanket and such and told him he gets it back if he goes potty. Occasionally he will ask for it and I tell him how to get it back and he says oh yeah and procedes to poop in his pants. He is in underware and if he is naked he has pooped on the floor. We made him clean up his dirty underware for a while and I honestly thing it hurt us (I know it has helped some people) b/c for him it became part of the process.

 

[wrighter]

Oh, how I feel your pain!!!

My DS, who is now 5, was so adamantly opposed to pooping the potty it drove me absolutely crazy. I tried everything under the sun, and nothing worked. After trying everything my pediatrician suggested, I finally threw in the towel and realized the only way it was going to happen was on his time. And that's exactly what happened - one day he just did it. It was all I could do to not shout from the mountaintops!!!

Hang in there! What they say is true - they won't still be in diapers when they head off to kindergarten. At night, maybe . . .

Good luck everyone!

 

[WisconsinDisneyGirl]

Mommy4-

I FEEL YOUR PAIN!!!!! My daughter is the same age! She started preschool TODAY! She went on the potty before school, when we got to the classroom and the teacher told me she went during class (then running out the door "I DID IT!") She came home dry but--- she then pooped in her pull up (I did send her in one) when she got home. Hey, better than school! They did send home a letter to all the parents that it is okay to have a few accidents at school but if it becomes everyday- they may now be ready for school. My daughter does well with potty training when she is with other children (not bm's) but once she is home that girl lets it all go.............

 

[Whipperwhirl]

I know your not supposed to do this but when you are desperate - renamming poop worked for us.

My son does not articulate things as well as my daughter. Hes not dumb by any strtch but his vocabulary is just not as well developed as my daughter (gender differences I believe). When we called it poop or poopie - he just wasnt getting it - we started calling it "the big one" and suddenly he got it - he never had an accident once he figured out what to call it. Dont know if that would be helpful for you. Whip

 

[J3nn78]

Definitely do cold turkey and Underwear only.

My DS gave me a couple problems with BMs for the first couple days. I bought him a special toy that he picked out and told him he could have it when he did poop on the potty. Took him all of one day to do it and never had trouble after that.

 

[Woodpackmom]

I can totally symphathize!!
I have 3 kids, two boys and then this little sassy girl who is now almost 3.5.
My boys were totally easy....everyone told me girls were easier
She was my biggest nightmare!
We started training last summer and she TOTALLY refused! She drove me nuts. I did the cold turkey thing, as that is what I did with my boys, but she was peeing all over the place like a puppy.....she could have cared less!
Eventually I put her back in pull ups....she had to wear panties to school. For the longest time she simply held it all day and literally POPPED when she got home....<sigh> After a few months she started going at school but not for me at home...How's THAT for frustrating???!!
I quickly realized that it was a total power struggle....so I just had to "let it go". My ped told me to not react, only to praise what I wanted....easier said than done. She finally just asked to go....I doubted her and said "Really? You never go..." she begged and said "I promise I'll go" and lo and behold she did! That was back in Feb and she was fine for pee after that.....
Poop of course was another battle.......UGHHHHHH She absolutely refused again to sit on potty or go in a pullup....always in her panties....
I tried everything again, stickers, candy etc... I even had a big Mariposa Barbie (she really wanted it) on the back of the toilet just staring at her for MONTHS!! Guess she didn't want it bad enough....
The final breakthrough with poop was she wanted something at the store (swim goggles) we were there to get them for her and her brothers, and yep....pooped in her pants in Target! I was SOOOO MAD. She didn't get the goggles....screamed and cried the whole way to the checkout. We went to the bathroom where I took of her panties and tossed them in the trash, she was HORRIFIED. Now, I must say, I had thrown some out before at home, she knew I had....but I think she maybe thought those were still around
because we were at home... She cried and cried in the car and said "I;m never going to poop in my pants ever again" and she didn't!
I guess the moral of this long story is....
those stubborn ones just have to figure it out on their own....they ain't gonna conform....
Hang in there!!!

 

[HerdOHuds]

I am where you are right now, except with 3 of my 4 are fighting the potty.

My latest idea has been peer pressure. My one little guy who can do all the potty things without any trouble at all gets the prizes from happy meals, he has gotten a letter from Mickey Mouse, and has gotten a really big potty toy. The other 3 have the potty toy sitting on the mantle in the living room and we talk all the time about how they will get their potty toys when they can pee and poop in the potty too. My little guy that gets it is really enjoying the attention and the others are definitely interested again.

We have done the stickers (3X), charts (2X), pantless (2X), reg. underwear (2X), training a doll (2X), and candy rewards (3X). Nothing is working. Hopefully by December, when we are going to WDW, this will be under control. But I must admit that when I figured we would all be trained by then, it seemed so reachable and now I am starting to really worry!

So good luck. And keep us posted.