Potty Training and Daycare

[AC7179]

I just wanted to kinda vent and pick others' brains.

We just removed my daughter from her last daycare (her last day there was in May) because of multiple issues, The highlights were when we started potty training at 2 and a half, she would be sent out of her room, down a hall, into the restroom by herself and be expected to use the toilets. We were only just potty training and it was winter and when she had to go to the potty her teacher sent her down the hallway fully clothed and expected her to undress and then climb up on an adult potty. Plus, she was only just learning so we weren't 100% comfortable with her wiping skills.

We formally asked that she not be sent to the restroom by herself. Well, later on in the year her class was outside and she was sent inside the empty building by herself (still at 2 and a half) to go potty. Well, she pottied, and then decided to go play in the infant room for about 10 minutes in which time her teacher did not notice she was gone. An aide came into the building and went into the infant room and discovered her playing on the floor. The building opened up right by a road. I was not told of the incident by either her teacher or her daycare director but by an aide who was there and wanted me to know.

Anyway, we switched daycares to a new one. We LOVE the new daycare and have had no issues. She was home with me all summer and just started this daycare a few weeks ago. She has had potty (teetee) accidents almost every day. She was put into the 3 year old class even though she won't be 3 until September because she is very verbal and knows things like letters, colors, shapes, etc., Anyway, when she was home with me all summer she didn't have accidents! She does want me to go into the potty with her which I have been doing, but she does also sometimes go by herself.

Well, she had THREE accidents today! I think all of them happened outside and she is just not wanting to stop playing but I am afraid they will move her down to the toddler group, which I suppose wouldn't be the end of the world, but would upset her because she likes her teachers and friends in her class. Her teacher also said that my daughter likes someone to go into the bathroom with her and we need to work on that. I guess we do, but I've been doing it because she asks me to and to help with any problems she might have (wiping, etc.). She's still not even 3.

So, since this is now 2 daycares in which she has had potty issues (even though this new issue is small), I guess I am just wondering if maybe I am out of line with expectations. Is it the norm for kids that are almost 3 to be able to go to the potty by themselves completely independently?

At home, I usually tell me daughter to come on and potty and then I go in there with her. How can I encourage her to go by herself?

 

[nemonoah]

When I worked at a pre-school/daycare, the children under 3-1/2 were not allowed to go to the potty without a teacher with them. I do not blame you one bit for changing daycares, it sounds as if they were'nt watching the children closely at all. Is the new daycare making sure that the kids go on a regular basis? it could be that she is so busy playing and learning that she is forgetting to tell the teachers that she has to go, but they should be asking all the potty trainers if they have to go regularly, we had to take our kids every hour, But maybe it is a seperation anxiety thing, and in a couple days she will be back to having no accidents at all. Good luck!!

 

[bzzymom]

I take 3.5 yr old DD to a home based daycare. She has only been potty-trained about a month. I have taken extra panties and shorts just in case, and she has only had 1 accident, which happened in front on the toilet while pulling her panties down. She has had one occasion where the sitter was changing a diaper when DD went #2 on the toilet and didn't wipe herself well. The sitter washed out and threw them in with her laundry.

 

[Karel]

I think it's unacceptable for them to expect her to go by herself at this age. This is so much she could get into and impulsive control is very weak when they are so young.

There should be set class potty times and a helper to assist her when she needs it.

I'm a preschool aide and you learn which ones are ready to be more independent and which ones need a helping hand. I don't think a helping hand should ever be denied.

 

[MandM-Mom]

I am a Licensed NYS group family provider and I don't think you are wrong at all for wanting her accompanied to the potty. Now with that said I have said to my little 2 1/2 year olds to go ahead in and I would be in in just a minute because I was busy in another situation (diaper changing, tantram etc.) But in my bathroom there is always a little seat and the stool is up to the toilet...sometimes they just go in and stand there other times they attempt to pull the bottoms down while they wait for me. At 3 sometimes they still need help with the cleaning up part, and if you don't help they will just pull up their undies and not clean up. If it bothers you how things are and the provider knows you dislike the situation and does not make any attempt its time to look for a new provider or center!

 

[Nanu57v]

Up until 3 and potty trained (in the toddler room) our children are accompanied to the potty. At 3 and potty trained (in the preschool room) a child may be sent without a teacher (such as if there is only one teacher in the room during naptime) and have the 3 year old go with an older child, like a 5 year old while the teacher watches from the door. (Then radios for help if its a #2 or other issues). But a 2 year old alone? My DD would decorate the bathroom with toilet paper if she was alone.

 

[KJF]

Wow - Has the first daycare gotten into trouble for their behaviour w/ the potty down the hall??? I cannot imagine it's acceptable to allow a small child out of the room like that. My kid's potties are in their rooms - Even when they're outside playing & have to go, one of the teachers comes in w/ them.

You may want to talk to your child's dr, but chances are the accidents are nothing to worry about. My DD went thru periods when she had accidents - it was always due to changes in life, even it seemed w/ changes in the weather. You could try talking to the teachers & seeing if they can get her to go more frequently. The only reason that I say about discussing it w/ the dr is because sometimes it can be a sign of a urinary tract infection - esp common when they really aren't good about wiping yet (Been there!)

 

[Minniemouse07]

I would talk to your new daycare about putting her on a schedule for potty reminders. For example: 1-1.5hrs she is asked if she needs to go to the potty.

That is how they did it at my dd's (and now ds') daycare center. The reminders are key for the kids to keep remembering to go potty. They are still learning the cues from their body as to when they "need" to go.

Sounds like her new daycare is much better than the old one.

Oh and just an FYI...any GOOD daycare would never "demote" or hold a child back just because they weren't potty trained. This was actually a litmus test for me when we were looking for our center. If a daycare has a hard and fast rule that all 3yos MUST be potty trained before being "allowed" in the 3yo room that tells me that they are much more interested in their rules and the convenience of their teachers than they are about my child and his/her development.

It also is a concern of mine since many boys aren't potty trained until after 4yo...does that mean that my 2yo would be in the same room w/ a 4yo still in diapers?

Sounds like you are asking the right questions and doing the right things!