Post Disney Let Down and kids

[TempleOT]

So we got back from a weeks vacay at WDW and Wilderness Lodge late this past Saturday night. We all had a blast. So as we are getting the kiddos ready for bed Saturday night, my DD who is 7 and this is her second trip, starts bawling, truly sobbing about how much she misses Disney, why couldn't we stay longer, why do we have to come back to her boring life, etc. I tried to calm her down but couldn't so we sent her to bed. 20 minutes later, she comes put of her room, still sobbing about it. I walk her back, give her a drink, and tell her to close her eyes. She eventually falls asleep, only to wake up Sunday morning crying again. Since then, she has woken up every morning crying about missing Disney. I am starting to get concerned about her. Does anyone have any experience with this?
Deidre

 

[mm1971]

So we got back from a weeks vacay at WDW and Wilderness Lodge late this past Saturday night. We all had a blast. So as we are getting the kiddos ready for bed Saturday night, my DD who is 7 and this is her second trip, starts bawling, truly sobbing about how much she misses Disney, why couldn't we stay longer, why do we have to come back to her boring life, etc. I tried to calm her down but couldn't so we sent her to bed. 20 minutes later, she comes put of her room, still sobbing about it. I walk her back, give her a drink, and tell her to close her eyes. She eventually falls asleep, only to wake up Sunday morning crying again. Since then, she has woken up every morning crying about missing Disney. I am starting to get concerned about her. Does anyone have any experience with this?
Deidre

We have never had this happen, but DD is always a little bummed about coming home as she is definitely a Disney girl for life. We usually watch some attraction video's on the iPad, maybe a movie night with her favorite movie a couple times a month and she has a big Mickey and Minnie she sleeps with (got them from Mickey Mouse himself when he decorated our room while we were at the Halloween Party!).

The biggest way to get over the post Disney blues?.......Start planning the next trip! Even if it's a couple years off. You can start talking about what resort you may choose, favorite restaurants, what new things she might like to try. Just an idea.

Good luck and remember that as a child, going into a world where everything is so magical is hard to leave.

 

[nugov2]

So we got back from a weeks vacay at WDW and Wilderness Lodge late this past Saturday night. We all had a blast. So as we are getting the kiddos ready for bed Saturday night, my DD who is 7 and this is her second trip, starts bawling, truly sobbing about how much she misses Disney, why couldn't we stay longer, why do we have to come back to her boring life, etc. I tried to calm her down but couldn't so we sent her to bed. 20 minutes later, she comes put of her room, still sobbing about it. I walk her back, give her a drink, and tell her to close her eyes. She eventually falls asleep, only to wake up Sunday morning crying again. Since then, she has woken up every morning crying about missing Disney. I am starting to get concerned about her. Does anyone have any experience with this?
Deidre

I would be very concerned. Being sad and disappointed a fun vacation is over is perfectly normal, but sobbing uncontrollably for days and saying her life is boring and why can't we stay longer sounds like a tantrum since she could not be calmed. Like she is throwing a fit for not getting what she wants...more disney now. I personally wouldn't start planning the next trip b/c 1. it is giving into her demands and 2. what if something comes up and you cannot go on the trip. She may have a similar reaction, but worse.

I would instead deal with the issue of acceptable behavior. It is ok to be sad, disappointed about fun vacation being over and we can talk about the fun we had. Make a memory book together to remember all the fun etc. It is not ok to have a fit about why we can't stay longer/our life at home is boring etc. I imagine this is just one of many wonderful/fun trips you will take as a family so she will have to get used to the feeling of disappointment when the fun has to end. At 7 I think that is something she should be able to do without sobbing for days. I wouldn't reward this behavior with a don't worry honey we will get you back to WDW soon...lets start planning now.

 

[triciamek]

Sorry if this is way out of line - but as someone who works with school age children in therapeutic setting I would explore what is going on in her daily life that is causing so much stress. Could she be having problems at school or with peers?

 

[texasroni75]

My DD(12) tends to get that way after vacations, too. She's had some meltdowns after trips since she was 5 or 6, but we know she's a very sensitive soul, and she gets very emotional at times - it's just her personality. I think it's just that she enjoyed the trip so much (I know I do too!), wanted it to last longer, and it's her way of expressing herself. At some point as parents, we do feel the need to say "it's time to get over it and move on to other things now". She might have it in her mind that if she cries enough, you WILL go right back. Make it clear that's not going to happen. We usually have the kids help to organize the pictures from the trip to keep some of the fun going, but if it just upsets her even more, something non-Disney might be a better idea!

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

I agree that that isn't normal behavior for a 7 year old, who should understand the concepts of vacation and real life. It's normal to be sad, but sobbing every day. It sounds like either an extended tantrum, or there is something going on in real life that she can escape from at Disney.

You need to sit her down and get to the root of the problem. If it's a behavior thing, then she needs to understand that if she can't handle the "let down" after a Disney vacation, then the family may need to reconsider taking Disney vacations. If it's an issue in her life she is trying to hide from, then you need to figure that out too.

 

[TempleOT]

Thanks for all of the ideas, some of which I hadn't thought about. I wouldn't call it a tantrum, as much as extended sadness. She is not demanding/yelling/acting rotten, just very sad. And she does tend to be a sensitive child, who cries when she disappoints us/is sad/angry/frustrated. As far as I know school is ok, but I will have a sit down chat with her today to make sure of that. This trip is only the 3rd trip she's ever gone on, with the last one only for 3 days A the age of 4. So she really has never dealt with this kind of thing, extremely fun things ending, etc. hopefully I can get some answers from her today...
Deidre

 

[mm1971]

Thanks for all of the ideas, some of which I hadn't thought about. I wouldn't call it a tantrum, as much as extended sadness. She is not demanding/yelling/acting rotten, just very sad. And she does tend to be a sensitive child, who cries when she disappoints us/is sad/angry/frustrated. As far as I know school is ok, but I will have a sit down chat with her today to make sure of that. This trip is only the 3rd trip she's ever gone on, with the last one only for 3 days A the age of 4. So she really has never dealt with this kind of thing, extremely fun things ending, etc. hopefully I can get some answers from her today...
Deidre

I know a lot of posters had alternate suggestions to mine and to be honest, I never even thought of it being anything other than just sadness and missing the fun (maybe because I am a dad). All good points. My thought of planning the next trip certainly wasn't to "give in" to her, just to give her something to look forward to instead of back. I guess I still think that if you have plans to go again it may help, but also understand the concerns raised by others.

My DD is extremely sensitive as well. She will cry if she thinks we are disappointed and certainly if we yell (which we try not to do). She is very empathetic to others and can get emotional over simple things. She is sensitive to name calling and if she feels she made a mistake. With that said, she has never been as upset as you describe about being home from vacation, but we also take 2 vacations a year (some Disney, some elsewhere). Maybe that is the difference since we go away more often. I still think looking at the pictures and some ride videos on YouTube could help, but I am certainly not a therapist and do not deal with children as a profession. I do hope things work out and your DD feels better soon.

 

[imthemamahere]

Poor kiddo. Leaving Disney is a big let-down for all of us, I think! Some kids do take the disappointment pretty hard. My son, who was 3 1/2 when we last visited WDW, was so upset when we left Disney World. He was simply devastated that the fun had to end. First he cried, then he was just plain angry. Probably didn't help that he'd been off his normal schedule, up much later than usual, etc. It took him a few days to regain an even keel after we came home. (It wasn't a matter of temper tantrums, in his case, it was just... he truly didn't understand why the fun had to end.)

In your daughter's case, she's a bit older, and can probably understand a bit better why vacations can't last forever. Being disappointed that a vacation is over is normal... being devastated is not. I'd definitely ask her if there's something here at home that's bothering her - something at school, or with a friend, or whatnot. Perhaps there's something other than Disney departure underlying all her tears...? If there's nothing else going on under the surface, I'd be careful not to dismiss her sadness, but I would try to show her that it's been excessive, and it's time to re-focus her mind on all the good things she has. Attitude of gratitude kind of focus (instead of entitlement/sour grapes/whatever).

I'm sure there are some kids who would do this as a sort of tantrum - pushing to see if they can manipulate mom/dad into giving in. But unless you know your daughter's got a habit of being manipulative, I wouldn't jump to that conclusion.

Otherwise, I'd try to get her back into a normal schedule ASAP - normal bedtimes, school, activities, etc. And I'd discuss with her an upcoming fun event (if you've got nothing on the calendar, plan one for this weekend!) - so she remembers that Disney isn't the only place in the world where a 7 year old can have fun.

Good luck.

 

[Kristina4109]

There is a great book out there called "Your Seven Year Old: Life in a Minor Key" which talks about a natural phase of moodiness that is natural for a seven year old. This is not to say that every single kid will go through the same exact experience, but just know it is not out of the ordinary for kids that age to be exceedingly moody.

 

[asmit4]

I think everyone has very good advice

I also have to say that you know your kid best. Is this her 'normal sensitive self'? Or is this something more?

I would give it a few more days and if things don't settle down I'd seriously consider talking with your doctor about it. People often think- she's only SEVEN! What problems could a 7yo have? What issues could a kid really have? The reality is that kids can and DO have issues.

It's probably nothing at all- but ignoring it because she's only 7 or treating her behavior as nothing more than a tantrum might not be the best route to take.

Some kids are really sensitive and might need some help getting things back in focus. I think having a discussion with your daughter about it is a wonderful idea! See where she is at with things and what else might be triggering her emotions.

 

[MandiC]

That does seem a little excessive, my daughter was 7 when we went and she was sad coming home but not to the point of crying, let alone for days. Only you know if this is normal for her.
We have tried to keep the magic alive. If she is a good reader there is a series called Kingdom Keepers, it is a mystery type book so if she is into that and Disney it is a great combo, my oldest LOVES the books. We also got the idea here to do Disney movie themed nights, where we watch a Disney movie and have related food for dinner with it. We have a the DisneyLand game for the Kinect which they just love, the set up is very similar to Magic Kingdom. I got Disney Infinity but haven't given it to them just yet. We have also talked about their favorites and things they want to do on their next trip. We watched some Disney specials and they thought it was fun choosing which resort we might stay at next.
I think I'd really stress that it is okay to be disappointed but that her life and her friends are anything but boring

 

[Wendybird55]

I find the day or so after a vacation (and most are Disney vacations) DS is sad. However I think not as much about leaving Disney, but more about not having special family time every day...DS is a bit of a homebody and he loves being with his family, playing games, having fun, etc. When home we try to have as much family time as possible, but let's face it with school, work, outside responsibilities and such it's not always easy. But when on vacation, every day, every moment is family fun time and DS wishes every day can be like that. We explain to him vacations are so special because they don't happen every day and we will have more vacations and more time together and we understand and feel the same way, but there are lots of other fun things we have to look forward to and I list the different special events and such that will be coming up.

The toughest was when we went on a Disney Cruise with my BIL, SIL, Nieces and MIL and FIL..he had a whole week playing with his cousins and joking with with uncle and playing bingo with grandma & grandpa...he was sad when we got home, but was over it in a day or so.

Also, it may be that she doesn't want to go back to school. Maybe something is going on in school that she doesn't like and leaving Disney for that is upsetting to her.

 

[Skrabadoo]

Last November I took my mom and my four year old to WDW for an amazing week long trip. We had a blast! The trip was a dream come true for me.

I will be completely honest, I was so bummed after coming home I was shocked. It really surprised me.

I can understand a sensitive little one having trouble dealing with that feeling of let down post vacation. It may help to acknowledge her feelings and talk about other things to look forward to such as summer vacation, a upcoming movie release etc.

 

[Steph4MM]

My DD also 7 always cries when we leave Disney. I know it is sad and heartbreaking because I don't want to go home either. I also think it is part of the process of vacations - the anticipation, the fun and then back to reality. After each trip we talk about what was fun and not so fun about our trip and then start talking about what or where we want to go next.

 

[capeseal]

I don't think tears in the few days that she is reintegrating into her regular routine is out of the norm for a 7-year-old. She sounds sensitive. She isn't screaming "take me back to Disney now!" she is feeling disappointed at the end of something that was magic and readjusting to regular life. My DD is sensitive and always sobs as we leave Disney because we are also leaving her grandparents who we see twice a year (once in Disney in November and once in the summer.) Sometimes she cries the day after, as well, but we have the excitement of the Christmas season to carry us through the rest of the Disney blues due to the timing of our trip.

It is hard for some people to understand if they don't go through this themselves, but some people express a lot of feelings in tears. I know that I cry easily. It is embarrassing but I'm not an entitled brat because I shed a few tears when I am disappointed. As a child, it was much harder not to get worked up and even more upset by the tears themselves. Fortunately, as an adult, I shed a few tears and can then get the feelings under control. Empathize with your DD, give her a week, and as long as she isn't becoming withdrawn or exhibiting signs of falling into a depression about it, I don't see anything wrong with her taking a little time to come down off an exciting and stimulating trip. It is also possible that your DD could be feeling a bit oversensitive from being overtired after a week of being on the go nonstop and need some time to catch up on sleep to get back to feeling better.

One other thought, I know some of the difficulties that all of us have in getting back into our regular lives after vacation is that DH has been able to give everyone his full attention for a week while we are on our trip. That is rare in his demanding military job so I know my young kiddos especially can struggle in the days after vacation. Could your DD also be sad because her parents are back to work and she is back to school and there is some separation anxiety in play? In those cases, I find it to be extra important that we are all in tune with a schedule that includes extra time together in the evenings or on the weekend following a trip. We do some cooking together of favorite meals, play more games, read extra stories, and try to treat the kids to some extra attention and empathy and that helps.

 

[TempleOT]

Thanks Kristina for the book to look into--you're right, she certainly can be moody!

I did talk to DD after school yesterday and asked her to be honest with me about the crying. She basically told me it was the most fun she has ever had and she actually wants to live there, LOL! But then she said, well there are no schools in Disney so I can't live there, so she reasoned it out. She did not express any issues at school and I truly didn't think there were any. Her teacher had her keep a journal and she presented it to the class upon her return, which she liked.

I also talked to DH about it and he said that she told him that she really enjoyed the bunk bed she shared with her brother and liked sleeping in the same room as us and being with us all of the time. So, she does appear to be having a little bit of separation anxiety, which never would have occurred to me! But with as sensitive as she is, this does make sense. So we'll have to put in some extra family time.

Thank you all for your ideas and thoughts--I do appreciate it!
Deidre

 

[Wendybird55]

Separation anxiety sounds about right based on what you just said. DS is the same in that any vacation we go on he never wants to end as he enjoys the 3 of us being together all the time every day. It makes me feel good in that my son likes being with his family and he sees these times as special as we do. He's 7 as well and I know there will come the day when being with mom and dad wont' be as cool as being with his friends so I cherish all of these times together. Sounds like your daughter loves her family very much and had one of the best trips ever and who wouldn't be sad when it's over.

 

[luvmy2babies]

My daughter says the same after a vacation. She really misses us spending our entire day together the most. I can definitely relate. The first couple of days back at work are hard because I’ve been with them so much and then it’s back to the regular.

It hit her the hardest at 7. It was our first vacation after we lost dh. I took her and her brother (then 6 months old) away for a week at Virginia Beach. At the end she was feeling good about getting back home to everyone else, but was sad the trip was over and I’d be going back to work. I told her that was one reason vacations and even staycations were really important to do if we could no matter how long the trip or where we went because while we also do family time consistently, it is just different with everyone being away from their responsibilities.

 

[ericstac]

Your daughter sounds like me PDSD.. Post disney stress disorder

What I do is start planning my next disney trip, that always works