Possibly not sitting with children on airplane

[Mkrop]

I agree with the fact that if I carefully planned my seats to be in a certain location, I am proabably am looking forward to using them if possible. But so was the OP when she had assigned seats with her and her family all together only ot have the AIRLINE switch it up. This is no fault of hers and she cant do anyting about it unitl the day of because the AIRLINE said so. We had our son seated next to us anly to find tthat they had moved him, but the day of the flight did anyone that was asked know that it was the AIRLINE and not a fault of my own. No they didnt they were just asked to switch. So you never know.

So if you ask me to move although I may be bummed I think I need to do the decent thing and move, if that is all possible.

And I know a 23yr old guy who has bathroom issues, so to me you never know why someone is declining so I wll respect that.

 

[maxiesmom]

People need to realize that when they buy a plane ticket, it just guarantees them a spot on the plane. Your seat assignment is not written in stone. Airlines are adding and canceling flights all of the time. If you buy your tickets far in advance, you will be lucky if your departure time or type of plane does not change. Then the airline has to re-seat everyone. From the airline's point of view, they have done nothing wrong.

From some of the posts, it does seem certain flight attendants could have been more sympathetic and more agressive in helping move people around. But then again we do not know the whole story. It could have been they were late departing and told just to seat everyone and go.

OP--Your best bet is to get to the airport extra early. From my experience the agents will do what they can to help you be by your children. If not, I would not hesitate to ask your fellow pasangers once you are on board.

 

[Dashzap]

Next time fly Southwest. Assigned seats are a nuisance. People board more slowly when they are finding their seats.

I wouldn't fly if I was separated from my youngest, but then there are medical reasons for that.

Airline gate agents have always straightened things out for us, when our assigned seats were apart.

And OP, even if you don't sit together, your kid *may* end up next to another mom, who will help out. When switching seats has been impossible, I've entertained/looked after stranger's kids before, not to mention the occasional unaccompanied minor.

A side note: the idea that all adults are well behaved and polite, and all children are not, is ridiculous. I've noticed frequently that adults are less polite to children than they are to adults.

 

[ducklite]

A side note: the idea that all adults are well behaved and polite, and all children are not, is ridiculous. I've noticed frequently that adults are less polite to children than they are to adults.

I'll agree with this. In all honesty on a plane I'm not particularly "friendly" with anyone sitting next to me--including DH. I'm not rude, but I prefer to use my plane time to either read, work, or snooze. I generally don't like to chat on a plane for a number of reasons--one being the noise cancelling earplugs I wear.

If someone tries to strike up a conversation with me, I'll give them very short answers to let them known I'm not interested in talking. If they persist (like with a child who doesn't pick up on subtle cues) I'll simply say "I'm sorry, I'm reading/taking a nap/working and really can't/don't want to chat right now." Perfectly legitimate and IMHO not at all rude. I don't think anyone should ever feel obligated to have to carry on a conversation with a stranger of any age. That goes for children who don't want to speak to adults as well.

Anne

 

[Mkrop]

I'll agree with this. In all honesty on a plane I'm not particularly "friendly" with anyone sitting next to me--including DH. I'm not rude, but I prefer to use my plane time to either read, work, or snooze. I generally don't like to chat on a plane for a number of reasons--one being the noise cancelling earplugs I wear.

If someone tries to strike up a conversation with me, I'll give them very short answers to let them known I'm not interested in talking. If they persist (like with a child who doesn't pick up on subtle cues) I'll simply say "I'm sorry, I'm reading/taking a nap/working and really can't/don't want to chat right now." Perfectly legitimate and IMHO not at all rude. I don't think anyone should ever feel obligated to have to carry on a conversation with a stranger of any age. That goes for children who don't want to speak to adults as well.

Anne

Not rude at all but very hard to convince a 4 year old of that some days haha

 

[dogluva]

There may be things we don't know about.

I was on one flight out of Orlando where half a dozen families with small kids were scattered - AND the flight was overbooked. It was one of those Orlando flights where the Dumbo fans outnumbered the RNRC fans. Weather was bad and a hurricane was coming in (they closed the airport the next day) - they were up to offering TWO roundtrip tickets for anyone willing to get bumped - but weren't promising you'd get out before Wednesday (it was a Sunday flight) - and they weren't getting a lot of takers. It was a madhouse - and on that flight announcements wouldn't have made things any better - we just needed to get out.

There were lots of families split up on that flight - and lots of people still switching seats around as soon as the plane had leveled off.

This is the case with us. The next available flight would have been Wednesday. My husband and I could not take anymore time off. I was going to get home regardless of being split up. It was not the end of the world, people were fine with moving when asked nicely (not told to, I never expected that). The flight was full and I am sure others were in our boat as well.

My four year old is a terror. She is very hard to control even with the tightest limits. She is very close to being put on meds (extremely hyperactive). I don't think it would have been in anyone's best interest if she sat next to strangers. Not that I have a problem with them or think they would do anything to her. They just wouldn't know how to control her. And why should they? SHe is a lovely girl,just lacks impulse control right now. And we are working on it, trust me. If she misbehaves she is reprimanded or punished. She is not a typical four year old by any means (I know this, I have had five others).

But in our case it worked out fine. My six year old would have been fine eventually, I know this as well. However, he is very nervous so for the few minutes of thinking I wouldn't be near him, he was very upset. He would have calmed down eventually if he had no choice.

Tracy

 

[momtoBrandon&Jacob]

To all the people who said they would not give up their seat so a young child can sit with their parent, I have one word - "karma". It will come back to bite you.

 

[NotUrsula]

I can't begin to say how distressed this entire thread has made me. Wow! What an eye opener. ... Wow! I think I just lost a little faith in humanity.

Honestly, it's probably a good thing that you read this. As those of us who spend a lot of time answering questions on the Transportation board like to point out, "There's no pixie dust in Transportation."

Flying stopped being glamourous decades ago. The airlines are scrabbling for every scrap of profit they can find, and the "Friendly Skies" are nothing more than a distant memory, if they ever really existed outside the imagination of Madison Avenue.

When you fly you have to fly defensively, and be prepared to politely assert yourself lest the airline or a fellow passenger walk all over you. It may be sad, but it is reality, and if you don't face it you will find yourself miserable every time you fly. Unless you fly enough to be elite on a legacy carrier, it is best to lower your expectations and be happy to get there in a timely manner -- you really cannot realistically expect more than that from an airline today. If you get more that is great, but you shouldn't go in expecting it.

 

[HelenePA]

you really cannot realistically expect more than that from an airline today. If you get more that is great, but you shouldn't go in expecting it.

but i'm not expecting it from the "airline" I'm expecting it from other people on the same plane as me.. I'm a go with the flow kinda of person, I'd glady switch seats with someone, I let people ahead of me in line at walmart, I let people turn if there is a long line of cars coming, I let people out of parking spaces.. why switching seats is such a big deal to some I dont get??? (unless you have medical reason I can see that point clearly! dd6 has a congenital heart condtion) If you sit in one seat or the other your STILL going to get where your going the same time as if you were in the other seat I just dont get it

 

[crisi]

To some people, where they sit IS a big deal. I'm a smallish woman, the middle seat doesn't bug me too much - but since I gave birth to my daughter I have to pee more often than I want - so I really prefer the aisle. On a late night flight, the window seat lets you sleep without drooling on a strangers shoulder. And if I get lucky enough to get an exit row or bulkhead on a business trip - slice of heaven. Front of the plane gets me off faster - important for connections or if I'm traveling with just a carryon in a hurry to get home. Now, I'm also pretty utilitairan - i.e. someone sitting with their little kid is probably more important than me getting home five minutes early or the inconvience of crawling over someone to get to the bathroom. But all seats are not equal on an airplane. Moreover, once boarded, moving means moving my stuff - and I don't travel light with my carryons.

And I'm more likely to be helpful if I get the feeling that you understand this and are asking a favor of me than if you "expect" it of me. "I hate to ask, but you are sitting next to my son - would you mind switching with me? That way, he won't bother you and I won't have the anxiety of him traveling alone" is going to get a lot more mileage from me than "you need to let me sit there so I can sit next to my kid." In the first, I'll move - and if you are in the middle seat at the back of the plane (my least favorite spot), I'll still feel good about helping you out. In the second case, I'm likely to ask "well, where is your seat?" - and I'm not moving if its the middle seat at the back of the plane.

Also, a lot of people feel "rule bound." Their ticket has them sitting in a seat and they aren't going to move - that's their seat. Perhaps its limited imagination or a misunderstanding of flight rules. I remember getting told on a high school trip that it was against FAA regs to switch seats. I suspect the teacher was lying to us so we wouldn't spend the flight getting up and down - but I also suspect other people believe they aren't supposed to sit anywhere other then where they've been assigned.

 

[Mkrop]

I think you always get a much better response to a request when you ask nicely! What is that phrase "you get more flies with honey than vinegear!""

 

[ducklite]

I think you always get a much better response to a request when you ask nicely! What is that phrase "you get more flies with honey than vinegear!""

Isn't that the truth!

A couple years ago I was in an aisle seat. There was a lady next to me. Her husband was in the aisle seat a couple rows back. The lady said to me "Honey, you need to move so my husband can sit there."

I said "excuse me?"

She said "My husband needs to sit in that seat. He's sitting a few rows back and we want to get off first."

I said, "No more than I do."

Then the husband swaggers up and demands I move so he can sit next to "the little lady." (She wasn't little )

I told him I was quite happy where I was, and perhaps the person sitting next to him might want to switch with her. He then tells me "the seat next to me is empty."

At any rate, they were extrememly rude and demanding and at that point there was no way I was going to mvoe for them. The bizarre thing is taht she stayed next to me for the entire flight while the seat next to him remained empty!

Anne

 

[MiniGirl]

Okay, I must've missed a few posts here and there because I don't understand the whole losing faith in humanity thing. I've said twice on this thread that when I was flying I've come upon this situation (parents and small children not given seats next to each other) thousands of times (literally) and only once did someone not offer to change seats. I've had business colleagues offer to change, married couples, parents with older children, friends traveling together, etc. I even had a couple on their honeymoon offer to separate so that a mom could sit with her young son.

Also, the only posts I've read on here where someone said they wouldn't move was because they had conditions that they themselves have to watch out for, and I don't think that is being rude. I also don't think they should feel they have to justify why they won't move.

What I find most disturbing is how quick we all seem to be to pass judgement on others without knowing the whole story. Just like the "what a bunch of lazy, inept flight attendants" comment and others.

Again, I'm rambling.... My apologies..... The thing is the stories that outrage and shock us do so, in part, because most people don't act that way. When rude behavior becomes so common place that stories of the kind things people do shock us, then we are in trouble. I hope that makes sense.

 

[crashbb]

And I'm more likely to be helpful if I get the feeling that you understand this and are asking a favor of me than if you "expect" it of me. "I hate to ask, but you are sitting next to my son - would you mind switching with me? That way, he won't bother you and I won't have the anxiety of him traveling alone" is going to get a lot more mileage from me than "you need to let me sit there so I can sit next to my kid." In the first, I'll move - and if you are in the middle seat at the back of the plane (my least favorite spot), I'll still feel good about helping you out. In the second case, I'm likely to ask "well, where is your seat?" - and I'm not moving if its the middle seat at the back of the plane.

Also, a lot of people feel "rule bound." Their ticket has them sitting in a seat and they aren't going to move - that's their seat. Perhaps its limited imagination or a misunderstanding of flight rules. I remember getting told on a high school trip that it was against FAA regs to switch seats. I suspect the teacher was lying to us so we wouldn't spend the flight getting up and down - but I also suspect other people believe they aren't supposed to sit anywhere other then where they've been assigned.

I absolutely agree with both points - it really does depend on how I am asked. First off, as someone on a diffierent board put it "this is a 6 hour flight and I have a 1 hour bladder" - in other words, aisle seats are my friends. On short flights, I can deal with middle/window, though I try not to. Since I have status on the airline(s) I mainly fly and I check in on-line at the 24 hour mark, I haven't been assigned anything but an aisle for years.

That being said: two recent flights I was 'asked' to change seats. In the first. the father approached as "would you mind doing me a favour and moving". I did. On the second, the mom was sitting in my seat when I got there. She handed me her boarding pass and said "you'll have to sit in my seat". A middle seat at the far back. Umm...no. I had to get the FAs involved. Her daughter may have had special needs (I don't know), but looked about 12 so old enough to fly separated.

On the second point, one of my friend's actually read the fine-print of his company's travel insurance policy. According to said policy, if you don't sit in your originally assigned seat, the company doesn't have to pay out if something happens during the flight. Now, I have no idea how/if they can enforce this, but that is what it says, so he is very reluctant to give up his seat.

 

[jodifla]

What I find most disturbing is how quick we all seem to be to pass judgement on others without knowing the whole story. Just like the "what a bunch of lazy, inept flight attendants" comment and others.

.

I call them as I see them.


In that post, nothing was said about any kind of crisis on the part of the flight attendants. From all appearances, they just didn't want to help the parents out. If they were that darn busy, they should have told the parents that's why they weren't bothering to do their job (i.e. attending to the people on the flight who needed their help!)

 

[jodifla]

Isn't that the truth!

A couple years ago I was in an aisle seat. There was a lady next to me. Her husband was in the aisle seat a couple rows back. The lady said to me "Honey, you need to move so my husband can sit there."

I said "excuse me?"

She said "My husband needs to sit in that seat. He's sitting a few rows back and we want to get off first."

I said, "No more than I do."

Then the husband swaggers up and demands I move so he can sit next to "the little lady." (She wasn't little )

I told him I was quite happy where I was, and perhaps the person sitting next to him might want to switch with her. He then tells me "the seat next to me is empty."

At any rate, they were extrememly rude and demanding and at that point there was no way I was going to mvoe for them. The bizarre thing is taht she stayed next to me for the entire flight while the seat next to him remained empty!

Anne

Wow!


For the record, I'd never demand anyone change their seat or assume THEY have to move.

 

[MiniGirl]

I call them as I see them.


In that post, nothing was said about any kind of crisis on the part of the flight attendants. From all appearances, they just didn't want to help the parents out. If they were that darn busy, they should have told the parents that's why they weren't bothering to do their job (i.e. attending to the people on the flight who needed their help!)

Fine. You are absolutely right. Everyone should just ignore my 15+ years experience. They were absolutely the laziest most inept group of f/as I've never seen.

 

[jodifla]

Fine. You are absolutely right. Everyone should just ignore my 15+ years experience. They were absolutely the laziest most inept group of f/as I've never seen.

What? Surely you don't think I mean ALL flight attendants. I meant the ones that wouldn't help the parents out, but had time to natter on about peanut allergies.

 

[Gillian]

Reading the rest of the posts I'm happy to see I'm not the only one with a "spirited" 3-4 year old. DD loves new people, but tends to cling to them, sit very close, and talk a lot about stuff most people can't understand. It could be a very long flight for someone who didn't like to talk about care bears, grandma's dog and various 3 year old friends.

I'm also glad that we are able to drive, and that the last time we flew our seats weren't moved.

 

[Pinnie]

And another fly to add to the ointment. When I have to fly NWA, I pay EXTRA for an aisle seat. I am not moving. PERIOD.

pinnie