Poor DD

[zoemurr]

She went to a Bat Mtzvah today. It was her first and probably only one of a good friend. (She's 12.)

She was all dressed up and it was a very grown up affair.

It was at a local country club. She was having a great time and won a game where she got to keep one of the centerpieces. Apparently it was a big light up lava lamp type thing. She put it at her place with her things and went dancing. When I came to pick her up someone had taken it. She told me when we were part way home.

It ruined the whole night for her. She's usually very easy-going, but she just keeps saying how cool it was and that this was a once in a life time night. I offered to take her back there (she said there was one left that didn't work) but she just wanted to go to bed.

I know in the scheme of things it's nothing.. but right now I feel terrible. Why do people do those kind of things? I realize someone may not have thought they were prizes, but why would they feel they were entitled to it?

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for listening..

 

[mlittig]

So sorry for your daughter's disappointment

 

[Aisling]

Aw, I'd be upset, too, if I were 12 and someone stole my lava lamp center piece! When you wrote "centerpiece", I thought flower or balloons which wouldn't ruin my night, but a lava lamp is a cool thing to win.

Let her be upset, and in a few days she'll be over it. As a mom, I know how you feel.

 

[shinysparklybubbles]

I'm a sucker, she would be getting one tomorrow. I'm sorry someone took it.

 

[zoemurr]

I'm a sucker, she would be getting one tomorrow. I'm sorry someone took it.

I have no idea what it was exactly or where it came from. I thought I might just mention to the mother that R thought they were cool and ask her where they were purchased.

She's asleep and I'm still sitting here fuming.. I really wish we had gone back.. but not sure what we would have done when we got there anyway.

 

[minnie56]

Some folks are just morally bankrupt...
I am sorry for your daughters experience...sad

 

[castmember19]

I'm gonna vote for asking the mother where it was purchased idea. I am also a sucker, apparently.

 

[Michelle67]

Awww, that's just a bummer. It's always possible, also, that they mentioned to people that they could take them (sounds like there may have been more of them than were given as prizes? Or maybe I misread somehow) and then nobody realized your daughter hadn't gotten hers before they were all taken. I know my best friend and I both told people to take the centerpieces from our weddings, but obviously there were more guests than centerpieces and some people who wanted to take one were disappointed not to get one. I do understand your daughter specifically was given one...just thinking that maybe there was a less mean and heartless reason why she ended up without one.

I'd find out where they got one and get her one, too. Although, do be very careful about having it in her room. Unless those things have been radically changed in recent years, they can be a major fire hazard. They get VERY hot in order to get that lava flowing.

 

[zoemurr]

Awww, that's just a bummer. It's always possible, also, that they mentioned to people that they could take them (sounds like there may have been more of them than were given as prizes? Or maybe I misread somehow) and then nobody realized your daughter hadn't gotten hers before they were all taken. I know my best friend and I both told people to take the centerpieces from our weddings, but obviously there were more guests than centerpieces and some people who wanted to take one were disappointed not to get one. I do understand your daughter specifically was given one...just thinking that maybe there was a less mean and heartless reason why she ended up without one.

I'd find out where they got one and get her one, too. Although, do be very careful about having it in her room. Unless those things have been radically changed in recent years, they can be a major fire hazard. They get VERY hot in order to get that lava flowing.

She said they played a game and her group won and everyone in the group got one. There was one left but it wasn't working. Of course she's 12 and not always super observant. I keep trying to think of an "ok" reason for it to be gone but it really doesn't matter.. a day my baby was looking so forward to ended poorly. I just hope it was someone who misunderstood and not another child who was delibrately being mean.

I sent the mom an e-mail and said R had a great time and thank you for including her. I also asked if she could tell me where the centerpieces were purchased. I don't want her to know what happened or feel badly about it.. I think I worded it ok.

Thanks for the sympathy.. I needed it.

 

[mjkacmom]

Since there was one left, I assume the person who won the broken one decided to get one that worked? I can definitely see a child doing that.

 

[Ceila]

She said they played a game and her group won and everyone in the group got one. There was one left but it wasn't working. Of course she's 12 and not always super observant. I keep trying to think of an "ok" reason for it to be gone but it really doesn't matter.. a day my baby was looking so forward to ended poorly. I just hope it was someone who misunderstood and not another child who was delibrately being mean.

I sent the mom an e-mail and said R had a great time and thank you for including her. I also asked if she could tell me where the centerpieces were purchased. I don't want her to know what happened or feel badly about it.. I think I worded it ok.

Thanks for the sympathy.. I needed it.

I think you're handling it perfectly, and I completely understand how you are feeling. At that age - well, just about any age, really - the last impression you have of something can alter how you see the whole thing, at least in the short-term. Hopefully you can replace the lamp, and in a little while she'll probably start talking about all of the fun things she did. Good luck!!

 

[Mermaid02]

Since there was one left, I assume the person who won the broken one decided to get one that worked? I can definitely see a child doing that.

This.

I'd go buy her one. I think they're pretty cheap.

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

I think you're handling it perfectly, and I completely understand how you are feeling. At that age - well, just about any age, really - the last impression you have of something can alter how you see the whole thing, at least in the short-term. Hopefully you can replace the lamp, and in a little while she'll probably start talking about all of the fun things she did. Good luck!!

This! Give your DD a hug from all of us.

 

[XYSRUS]

I would ask the girl's mother where she got one. Go buy it. Give it to your daughter.

I agree it was a bogus to find the lamp gone, but there is always 2 sides to a story. No one should be going around saying something was stolen from another person at the party.

 

[Rora]

I'm sorry the night ended poorly! Hopefully you can find the lamp and surprise DD with it!

 

[VAfamily1998]

It's really wierd--people stealing center pieces is actually pretty common. When I was in college I worked for the on-campus food service one year. Usually I just worked the register at the food court but one time they had a really big event and asked some of us to fill in and help out with a catering event. The main serving table (buffet style) had a large centerpiece that was actually made up of several pieces. Part of my job during the event was to stand near the serving table to make sure none of the guests walked off with parts of the centerpiece! The main catering staff said it was VERY common for people to just steal stuff! Wierd!

 

[zoemurr]

I would ask the girl's mother where she got one. Go buy it. Give it to your daughter.

I agree it was a bogus to find the lamp gone, but there is always 2 sides to a story. No one should be going around saying something was stolen from another person at the party.

I never used the word "stolen" or accused anyone of anything.. either on the board here to to her..

 

[dzorn]

I would ask the girl's mother where she got one. Go buy it. Give it to your daughter.

I agree it was a bogus to find the lamp gone, but there is always 2 sides to a story. No one should be going around saying something was stolen from another person at the party.

The OP did not specify any one person. But given her DD side. It was stolen from her DD. The person who took it may have made a mistake but none the less they did steal the item.

Denise in MI

 

[marie1203]

That is terrible! This happen to my sister's friend in the Valentines Day dance in 7th grade. She have gotten a huge teddy bear and she left it to go dance when she came back it was gone. My and I went to picked them up she was crying it was so sad. Well we were driving home and what do we see in the bus stop a girl with the teddy bear . We knew it was her teddy bear, because they went to a small school and she was the only one that have gotten a really big teddy bear. My mom pull over as soon as they saw us get down they run away and left the bear in the bus stop. Her mom went to talk to the principal and she did nothing to the girls that stole it in school property . I hope your DD is feeling better about it.

 

[Ceila]

Since there was one left, I assume the person who won the broken one decided to get one that worked? I can definitely see a child doing that.

The OP said that all of the kids who won received a lamp - there was one broken one left over, so nobody was given a broken lamp. Someone either didn't realize that it already belonged to someone, or they just really wanted one and took it. Honestly, though, since the OP's daughter placed it with her own items at her table, nobody else should have touched it.

OP, please let us know if you are ever able to find a replacement for your DD!