I'm glad it worked out for the OP.
I am compelled to share my sob story. Who knows, I will probably not type this accurately and sound like a complete jerk but here goes...
I had a bridesmaid whom I was friends with since 7th grade. In recent years it turned into more of a toxic friendship. Her first words to my husband were "Why are you here, you're ruining our good time." Her boyfriend had backed out of going out. Several other circumstances like that happened over the years with him and her and needless to say he didn't like her. I used to be heavy in high school and she would just bust out with "Remember when you were fat?" for no reason. Of course I'd laugh it off, I just never thought someone would say something just to be mean. Especially not a friend, I always assumed she was joking. She said it in front of his friends once and they confronted me on why I was friends with her. I should have listened to them then but I just said naaah she's just kidding.
When we got engaged, I knew she'd be pissed at me if she wasn't maid of honor - so I made the mistake of making her dual Maid of Honor with my best friend from college. I was thinking - they both represent my past and my present. Made sense at the time but definitely not a good reason to make someone MOH.
She went on to tell me that I didn't deserve a shower because we were having a destination wedding and I was selfish. Called my Mother and Mother in Law all sorts of lovely things behind their backs while kissing their butts to their faces, telling my bridesmaids I expected them each to spend $300 - $500 on my shower (I never said this and did not expect that and the end result was nowhere near that much), and threw all of the other bridesmaids under the bus when they were worried about the costs of the shower (which ended up being cheaper than they anticipated in the end) - saying SHE didn't mind the costs but they were all complaining and how cheap were they? Mind you - two of five complained and neither of them offered to look for different sites, use their house, or help with ideas to cut costs. And they complained the week before when they knew about costs for a few months - I know this from my SIL - who was also a bridesmaid and couldn't believe how awful those two were being since it wasn't that expensive.
Two weeks before the wedding she told me I was so demanding that she told her future in laws and no one could believe what a crazy bride I was. I'm still not sure what she told them I was doing. My only "requirements" were to have the same color shoes (different styles were fine), updos (b/c of the humidity in FL), and a bridesmaid gown - which I bought off the internet to save them money. The travel to Disney was the extra. And I realize it's expensive to travel to Disney, and I asked them all up front to tell me if it's too much for them and that I'd rather have them there at the wedding to celebrate with us than in the wedding if being a bridesmaid on top of travelling was too expensive. Maybe she lied to me at the front about the costs not being too much just because she didn't want to hurt my feelings? I am assuming this is the case.
At the wedding, she basically hung out with the groomsmen and her boyfriend and screwed up the photos after the wedding because she took off for the reception before we even took any photos at the WP. On purpose or not? Who knows.
I don't talk to this girl anymore. Not just because the wedding, so many things happened in the past few years leading up to it, that was just the straw that broke the camel's back. Sadly she thinks it is because of the wedding. Ah well.
I'm not annoyed that she's in all of my wedding photos because that is where my life was at that moment and that is ok. I just wish that I had gone with my gut and just made her a bridesmaid or nothing at all - definitely not MOH.
Even brides that don't have high expectations have situations like this. It may sound selfish to those who aren't in the situation - and it's definitely hard to adequately explain what happened over the internet - so before we are so quick to judge others decisions in this matter - we might want to think how we'd feel if we were walking in their shoes.
That said, I'd only ask someone to step down if I was genuinely planning on not being friends with that person anymore. Small issues can be fixed. Being a bridesmaid is not just showing up - it's being a friend. I will always cherish the night before my wedding, turning off the lights and talking to my best friend about how excited we were about the next day and reminiscing about our past together until we finally both fell asleep. And she was genuinely excited too which was really sweet. I can't wait to return the kindness when her big day comes.
If you read all of this - um... thanks? Sorry I'm so wordy!
