Please Be Honest

[kazzykay]

Tonight I Have Been Subjected To A Tiraid Of Verbal Abuse, Very Aggressivly From My Own Husband, Including Some Very Strong Language. Why, Then Read On And Tell Me What U Think.....

We Took Our Dogs For Their Last Walk This Evening, And Has We Approached The Local Public Field, There Was A Group Of Adults With A Few Children Letting Large Fireworks Off. No Attempt To Let Us Walk By Before They Began To Light One Up. I Told Them How Selfish I Thought They Were And What They Were Doing Is Illegal.

Hubby Was Furious, That I Had Made This Remark!! Shouting At Me At Full Throttle, Calling Me As I Said Lots Of Abusive Names, Basically He Wanted Me To Mind My Own Business.

Was I In The Wrong?

Please Answer Honestly.

 

[luvsJack]

Sounds to me like you were both wrong. If it was a public field they had every right to be there. Could you not have walked another way or behind them or something?

But what you did certainly does not excuse his verbal abuse. He had no right to call you names or to yell at you. No one deserves to be talked to in that manner.

 

[holycow]

Sorry in my book turning on a spouse like that is not ok. He could have found a more mature way of expressing his opinion.


I agree with the above poster....it was a public field I would have found an alternative route or just said hey can you wait till we pass. They don't need chastising. They were out having fun.

 

[KAMLEM]

Sounds to me like you were both wrong. If it was a public field they had every right to be there.

Not if fireworks are illegal where she lives.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Agree you were both wrong. You made a nasty remark and your DH overreacted.

If you wanted them to let you pass by speak up and say something. Calling them selfish was rude.

 

[chrisw127]

Has he done this before? Even if you were in the wrong, and I'm not saying you were, your husband's behavior was a bit bizarre.

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

In hindsight, yelling at them was probably not a wise choice. What if they had chosen to light one off and aim it at you? Never anger people with explosives. If it is illegal where you live a simple call to the police would have solved it.

On the other hand, your husband should not have yelled at you like that and I'm sorry you ahd to endure it. For future reference, please do not capitalize every word in your post, it makes it very hard to read. The only words that need to be capitalized are the first words of every sentence and proper nouns. You might find that you will get more reponses that way.

 

[daisax]

While nobody deserves to be yelled at (let alone abused), some of it probably depends on when and where he did it, and why.

If he did it in front of them - inexcusable. If he waited until he got home, better, but was he doing it out of anger or fear? I can see situations where you might not like your spouse possibly inciting total strangers (who could be capable of anything), be scared of the possible repercussions, and lose your temper.

But the presence of kids kind of makes that seem unlikely.

Whatever the reasons, it sounds like he could have approached the problem more lovingly. If this is a pattern, yes, I would be concerned.

 

[NVDisMom]

In hindsight, yelling at them was probably not a wise choice. What if they had chosen to light one off and aim it at you? Never anger people with explosives. If it is illegal where you live a simple call to the police would have solved it.

On the other hand, your husband should not have yelled at you like that and I'm sorry you ahd to endure it. For future reference, please do not capitalize every word in your post, it makes it very hard to read. The only words that need to be capitalized are the first words of every sentence and proper nouns. You might find that you will get more reponses that way.

I agree with this post in its entirety.

 

[kazzykay]

It is illegal, to let fireworks off in a public place where we live in the UK. We could have turned round and walked back, but not have taken a different direction as it is was a one way route.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I think the appropriate way for you to have handled the situation in the first place was to have one person hold the dogs while the other POLITELY went up to the people and said something along the lines of "Excuse me, but the fireworks may frighten the dogs, do you mind holding off for a minute while we pass." If what they were doing was illegal (are you certain? Rules about fireworks use vary from place to place) politely telling them so prefaced by a "you may not realize this and I would hate to see you get in trouble . . ." would have been fine to say. You would be surprised by how much more repsectfully people will treate you if that is how you treat them.

I think the appropriate way for your husband to handle his displeasure with you would not include cursing or yelling.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

It is illegal, to let fireworks off in a public place where we live in the UK. We could have turned round and walked back, but not have taken a different direction as it is was a one way route.

How about you walk up to them and talk? I don't get it.

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

You've been given some great suggestions for how to handle it should it happen again (call the police, talk to them in a polite and non confrontational manner, just walk away). As for what your husband did, you might want to sit down and talk to him.

Try to make it non confrontational, just tell them that you are upset by the way he yelled at you and ask him why. It could be that he was scared for you and that manifested itself in yelling and cursing. It could be that he was embarassed. Find out the reason, then let him know how it made you feel. Better to get everything out in the open rather than let it fester.

 

[DebIreland]

In my opinion your husband was way out of line. It was rude and inconsiderate of them not to wait til you were well clear of the area - for your safety but also not to upset the dogs. so I think you were right to say something to them.

When he has calmed down I think you need to tell him how much he hurt you and tell him in no uncertain terms that you won't tolerate it again. I'd say the same btw if a woman behaved like that towards her husband. It's one thing when a couple row and raise their voices to each other. It's another when it's one-sided and abusive in content.

 

[Tikitoi]

Name calling is never OK, whether provoked or not. Sounds like hubby was reacting out of fear, perhaps?

 

[rie'smom]

Kind of sounds like a DIS moment yelling at someone and telling them what not to do.
DH shouldn't have called you names.
You're both wrong whether or not fireworks are illegal. Would you yell at a guy with a gun? Fireworks can cause very messy burns and I agree that you're lucky they didn't shoot one towards you.

I think that you would accomplish more talking to your husband.